Jeff In Wichita
Active Member
I'll be hated for this post but I need to be honest, and I need real advice.*
I have been a FA since my teens. I have had a few meaningful relationships in my life. Most have been with "normal" sized women, or women who are under 300 lb. I've had relationships with women 180-250lbs. One which lasted almost 8 years. Although I'm most attracted to ssbbws, I've never been with a woman over about 250. I hate speaking about women by their weight, but I need to be clear.*
About three years ago I met a very beautiful ssbbw on an online dating site. I not only was very sexually attracted to her, I found her to be a brilliant attractive soul. She is very intelligent and we had a lot in common. When I really like someone, I tend to go slow. On our third date, we kissed and had a sexually charged date. No intercourse, but very sexually charged. It is the first and only time I've been with a woman I am so attracted to.*
I completely retreated. I didn't call her again. I cant explain why, but I just stopped calling or communicating. I ran away because I was afraid of how close and attracted to her I was. I also was afraid of coming out as an FA. I was a closet FA. It wasn't shame, but it was fear of being labeled. Perhaps it was shame, but i hate it. I am now ashamed of how I reacted. I AM an FA. I would give anything to do it over again.
I have thought about her often for the past three years. It was only three dates, but has haunted me for three years. I haven't had any real relationships since. Ive been on a few dates, but have not been sexually intimate with anyone. I've compared every woman to her, and none have measured up.*
I went to that dating site again last night and she had an active ad. I messaged her. I told her how I was sexually and mentally attracted to her and I made a mistake. she replied and expressed that she was happy to hear from me. I don't deserve her attention or forgiveness, but she is offering both.*
I'm crazy about her. It seems unreal that I could be this nutty for someone I don't know well, but every moment with her was filled with sparks and I can't forget. She makes me feel like a man. She makes me feel alive. I think she has a similar attraction. I don't deserve it, but she expressed that she was thrilled to hear from me.*
I have played over and over in my mind how things would have progressed if I were honest and true.*
I need to make her feel beautiful this time. I want to make it up to her. I am much more accepting about being a FA now. I have spent so much time thinking about my misplaced shameful behavior, that I just want to fix my error.*
I'm sure the women here don't think I deserve a second chance. I don't. The fact is that I seem to have a second chance.
I hope you can advise me. I have never been with a 400lb ssbbw. I have fantasized, but never in real life. Yes, my fat fetish is why I am sexually attracted to her, but my attraction to her is more than that. I am not physically attracted to thin women but I would be crazy about her no matter what. She is an awesome brilliant person.*
How do I make her feel sexy? Is it possible to make this right?
What do I do?*
I have been a FA since my teens. I have had a few meaningful relationships in my life. Most have been with "normal" sized women, or women who are under 300 lb. I've had relationships with women 180-250lbs. One which lasted almost 8 years. Although I'm most attracted to ssbbws, I've never been with a woman over about 250. I hate speaking about women by their weight, but I need to be clear.*
About three years ago I met a very beautiful ssbbw on an online dating site. I not only was very sexually attracted to her, I found her to be a brilliant attractive soul. She is very intelligent and we had a lot in common. When I really like someone, I tend to go slow. On our third date, we kissed and had a sexually charged date. No intercourse, but very sexually charged. It is the first and only time I've been with a woman I am so attracted to.*
I completely retreated. I didn't call her again. I cant explain why, but I just stopped calling or communicating. I ran away because I was afraid of how close and attracted to her I was. I also was afraid of coming out as an FA. I was a closet FA. It wasn't shame, but it was fear of being labeled. Perhaps it was shame, but i hate it. I am now ashamed of how I reacted. I AM an FA. I would give anything to do it over again.
I have thought about her often for the past three years. It was only three dates, but has haunted me for three years. I haven't had any real relationships since. Ive been on a few dates, but have not been sexually intimate with anyone. I've compared every woman to her, and none have measured up.*
I went to that dating site again last night and she had an active ad. I messaged her. I told her how I was sexually and mentally attracted to her and I made a mistake. she replied and expressed that she was happy to hear from me. I don't deserve her attention or forgiveness, but she is offering both.*
I'm crazy about her. It seems unreal that I could be this nutty for someone I don't know well, but every moment with her was filled with sparks and I can't forget. She makes me feel like a man. She makes me feel alive. I think she has a similar attraction. I don't deserve it, but she expressed that she was thrilled to hear from me.*
I have played over and over in my mind how things would have progressed if I were honest and true.*
I need to make her feel beautiful this time. I want to make it up to her. I am much more accepting about being a FA now. I have spent so much time thinking about my misplaced shameful behavior, that I just want to fix my error.*
I'm sure the women here don't think I deserve a second chance. I don't. The fact is that I seem to have a second chance.
I hope you can advise me. I have never been with a 400lb ssbbw. I have fantasized, but never in real life. Yes, my fat fetish is why I am sexually attracted to her, but my attraction to her is more than that. I am not physically attracted to thin women but I would be crazy about her no matter what. She is an awesome brilliant person.*
How do I make her feel sexy? Is it possible to make this right?
What do I do?*
