The unofficial Dad Joke Thread

[Joker]

Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

 

[CPProp]

Someone has glued my pack of cards together - I don't know how to deal with it

 

[CPProp]

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesaurus!

 

[Joker]

Scientists studying the effects of cannabis on marine birds have promised to leave no tern un-stoned.

 

[Joker]

I knew a guy who collected candy canes,
they were all in mint condition.

 

[CPProp]

What did the daddy buffalo say to his son when he left for school? Bison

 

[Joker]

What medication gets rid of snakes? Antihisssssstamine

 

[Joker]

I created a bra just for Southern women.
Dixie Cups.

 

[Joker]

 

[Joker]

I lost my mood ring and I don’t know how to feel about it.

 

[Joker]

My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.
You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

 

[Joker]

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
Sadly, he lost his case.

 

[Green Eyed Fairy]

What did the man say when he lost his dog?

Doggone


What did the man say when his dog fell in the fire?


Hot Dog

 

[Luv2BNaughty]

A Dad Joke in meme form lol

 

[Joker]

I used to only date Math teachers because I was attracted to their figures.

 

[Joker]

I went to a dyslexic church where they prayed to doG

 

[Joker]

My plumber just separated from his wife after thirty years. He walked into the living room and said “It’s over Flo”.

 

[Joker]

1. What did the poo say to the fart?
   You blow me away!

 

[Joker]

My Rastafarian friend asked me to braid his hair. I’m dreading it.

 

[Joker]

• How do you get a country girl’s attention?
• A tractor.