activistfatgirl
donuts at the finish line
Hey y'all. I feel awkward posting this, but I think it's better that I do than continue as I am (not talking to anyone!)
I'm struggling with suddenly very severe depression symptoms and its terrifying. I do have a history of depression, though I've only had a few actual "depressive episodes" that I would say were acute in the last 8 years. I do not take anti-depressants. I mostly manage by being kind to myself, avoiding stress, trying to "work through it." Mostly, it's mild enough that I can ignore it/pretend I don't have it/be in denial.
I recently quit smoking (woot 28 days if i forgive the few I had when I slipped up mid month!) and have been on a generic form of Wellbutrin for about 10 days. Wellbutrin has helped cut the desire for cigarettes. Problem is that I also have no desire for anything, and it's all been a very rapid descent. I don't know how much I want to talk about specific symptoms as I don't want to upset anyone (nor myself), but the biggest symptom is massive confusion / memory problems. This is a common symptom of D, but I've never had it like this. I can't think straight. I also can't control my thoughts and my mind races. I'm not sleeping well, and I feel almost constantly panicked. A good example is how long this post is taking me. I stared at "descent" for awhile, still not sure if it's the right word. My thoughts are foggy.
I'm going back to the DR. ASAP to talk about this, and follow up about going into counseling/psych eval. I think that possibly my smoking has covered up my more major depressive symptoms.
The other possibility (or certainly can be a combo) is trying to figure out if it could be the medicine itself. Does anyone have any experience on wellbutrin? I don't even know how anti-depressants work. I imagine that some people react very poorly to them.
Pretty sad to have an anti-depressant make you depressed, but again, I'm not sure.
Anyways, this is hard stuff. I can't wait to feel well again. I'm pretty awesome, and it sucks to feel like that's an untruth.
ETA: basic internet research shows that I have a more elevated version of common side effects for this medicine. Some people are given tranquilizers, but screw that! I find it VERY frustrating that my dr. can give me a prescription and NEVER talk about symptoms and get a second pill to counteract the first. Callin' tomorrow and I may lower the dose or see if I should stop it all together.
I'm struggling with suddenly very severe depression symptoms and its terrifying. I do have a history of depression, though I've only had a few actual "depressive episodes" that I would say were acute in the last 8 years. I do not take anti-depressants. I mostly manage by being kind to myself, avoiding stress, trying to "work through it." Mostly, it's mild enough that I can ignore it/pretend I don't have it/be in denial.
I recently quit smoking (woot 28 days if i forgive the few I had when I slipped up mid month!) and have been on a generic form of Wellbutrin for about 10 days. Wellbutrin has helped cut the desire for cigarettes. Problem is that I also have no desire for anything, and it's all been a very rapid descent. I don't know how much I want to talk about specific symptoms as I don't want to upset anyone (nor myself), but the biggest symptom is massive confusion / memory problems. This is a common symptom of D, but I've never had it like this. I can't think straight. I also can't control my thoughts and my mind races. I'm not sleeping well, and I feel almost constantly panicked. A good example is how long this post is taking me. I stared at "descent" for awhile, still not sure if it's the right word. My thoughts are foggy.
I'm going back to the DR. ASAP to talk about this, and follow up about going into counseling/psych eval. I think that possibly my smoking has covered up my more major depressive symptoms.
The other possibility (or certainly can be a combo) is trying to figure out if it could be the medicine itself. Does anyone have any experience on wellbutrin? I don't even know how anti-depressants work. I imagine that some people react very poorly to them.
Pretty sad to have an anti-depressant make you depressed, but again, I'm not sure.
Anyways, this is hard stuff. I can't wait to feel well again. I'm pretty awesome, and it sucks to feel like that's an untruth.
ETA: basic internet research shows that I have a more elevated version of common side effects for this medicine. Some people are given tranquilizers, but screw that! I find it VERY frustrating that my dr. can give me a prescription and NEVER talk about symptoms and get a second pill to counteract the first. Callin' tomorrow and I may lower the dose or see if I should stop it all together.
