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Tracy

Fat & Sassy
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I have posted several times but this is my first to start a thread. I am looking to my fellow dims people for some input and opinion sharing. This may get long so I am apologizing in advance.

I work in a small insurance office doing customer service work and I come into contact with the public everyday. There is this particular gentleman who we have had as a client for about 2 years. He has always been very nice. He always will ask how things are going and he will always ask about my son. In my opinion he stays longer than my normal client would. Well back around the first of September he calls to my work and ask me if I am seeing anyone and if I would like to have lunch with him sometime. Of course I say yes that I would like that. About a month went by and I had not heard from him about going to lunch until again he calls our office and tells me that he has not forgotten about me but that he has been very busy with work. So up until today I had yet to hear from him. He comes into the office today to pay his insurance and again same old thing. He starts talking asking me about Christmas and about my son but never mentioned going out. Today when we were talking he brought up about how long it had been since we had been in school and he ask me when I graduated and I told him so he was like so you are 38. In response to him I said yes and he was like well you know how old I am don't you. Again I said yes but that age is just a number(he is about 12 years my senior). I am at my wits end and my patience are wearing very thin with this man. I don't know if he really likes me and is just to shy to take things further or maybe he thinks he is to old for me. Then again maybe it is just wishful thinking on my part.

Any input or opinions would be greatly appreciated on how I should try and move this along.

Thanks for everyone's time :bow:
 

Zoom

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"Hey you! Get on with it already! Make your move before the pieces atrophy!"
 

bexy

is red again <3
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are u shy? could u not say to him "so well, when this lunch then?", it doesnt always have to be the guy that makes the first move.
it may be that he is very shy, or was just consumed with xmas, perhaps he is concerned with the age difference, but if he has already suggested lunch you certainly wont do any harm bringing it up again!

good luck!

 

Fascinita

Jeez, we're blessed!
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Maybe he is one of those loveshy men. Google "loveshy men" and see if anything rings a bell. I'd just take it at face value. He has asked you out and you've said yes. He has not followed through. Perhaps he remains interested, but there's no way to know. The next time you see him, if you're feeling curious, ask him what happened to the lunch idea, in a casual, friendly way. I don't blame you for feeling irritated, and if I were you I'd just write it off as a blip. But I'm not you, and it really depends on how you want to play it. Perhaps he needs a lot of encouragement. Hard to say.
 

goofy girl

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Well, you can either move on, or bring it up. Next time he calls tell him you're free on such and such a day, want to meet at whatchamacalit for lunch.

Also, he most likely doesn't want to ask you out while he is standing in your office. You mentioned it is a small office and he might think it would come across as unprofessional to ask you out while you are working, which might explain why he mentions it over the phone and not in person. I'm sure there are people around that would over hear it, I personally wouldn't ask anyone out in that kind of setting either, nor would I want to be asked out that way!

Good luck, Keep us posted!!! :)
 

Tracy

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Thanks everyone! Yes I'm shy. Would it be bad if I would take his number and call him on my own time away from work?:confused:
 

bexy

is red again <3
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Thanks everyone! Yes I'm shy. Would it be bad if I would take his number and call him on my own time away from work?:confused:

of course not that sounds perfect, and you would be maintaining your professional side!
 

Tracy

Fat & Sassy
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Maybe he is one of those loveshy men. Google "loveshy men" and see if anything rings a bell. I'd just take it at face value. He has asked you out and you've said yes. He has not followed through. Perhaps he remains interested, but there's no way to know. The next time you see him, if you're feeling curious, ask him what happened to the lunch idea, in a casual, friendly way. I don't blame you for feeling irritated, and if I were you I'd just write it off as a blip. But I'm not you, and it really depends on how you want to play it. Perhaps he needs a lot of encouragement. Hard to say.
Googled "loveshy men" nope none of it rang any bells.
 

Ryan

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The fact that *he* called you and once again brought up the subject of lunch (instead of you contacting him) gives me the impression he's still interested.
 

sweet&fat

My aim is true.
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I would give him a call and mention going to lunch in a casual manner, like Bexy said... but if this guy doesn't act on it, it's time to move on. He could very well be interested in you but incapable of acting on it, and that gets tedious very quickly. Good luck!!
 
T

themadhatter

What it means is that one day you'll be hearing:

"It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!"

Haha, no I dunno. You should be fine. Just flat out confront the guy. Ya know, your time is too valuable to be kept screwing around anyway. So do what's best for you.
(I feel I had to say something serious seeing as how I meant to make a Silence of the Lambs reference)

Unless he looks like this:
 

Forgotten_Futures

The *other* Holy Trinity
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Perhaps he wants you to step up, make the next move, force his hand?

He's indicated he's interested, but he doesn't want to put all his cards on the table while you're still holding all yours. All you've done so far is joined the game, haven't even ante'd up, and he's already got something dealt. He's nervous, but ready and willing to commit if he knows it'll be worth his effort. (That last sounds worse than it really is; everything in relationships is about getting something for what you're giving.)
 

Tracy

Fat & Sassy
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[/SIZE][/FONT]
What it means is that one day you'll be hearing:

"It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!"

Haha, no I dunno. You should be fine. Just flat out confront the guy. Ya know, your time is too valuable to be kept screwing around anyway. So do what's best for you.
(I feel I had to say something serious seeing as how I meant to make a Silence of the Lambs reference)

Unless he looks like this:
Nope doesn't look like that.

Thanks everyone! I will update after I call him this weekend.
 

LoveBHMS

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While i see nothing wrong with women making the first move or asking men out, i get really annoyed by men who behave this way.

If he wants to take you out, he should simply ask. From your description, it seems like he'd rather get you to ask him because it's easier that way. Blech. I think he needs to be a man about it and take the initiative if he'd like to see you outside of work.

He sounds really really passive. As if he'll go out with you, but only if you take the risk (and it is a risk) of asking. I don't think this speaks very well of his character.

Again, my issue is NOT with whether nor not you should call a man, it's THIS man's behaviour of arranging a situation where he's said he'd like to see you but won't actually do anything about it. Are you sure you want to date a man who won't even take the tiny step of asking YOU?
 

mango

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Maybe next time you see him, get up really close to him and ask on the sly...

"Dude!!.... are you married??" :confused:


:cool:
 

TraciJo67

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Maybe next time you see him, get up really close to him and ask on the sly...

"Dude!!.... are you married??" :confused:


:cool:
I think that Mango may be right. And I wouldn't take his home number from your office & call him ... that may be a breach of etiquette that could get you in trouble at work. If he hasn't given you his home # personally .... I'd be very, very careful about calling him there.
 

sweet&fat

My aim is true.
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While i see nothing wrong with women making the first move or asking men out, i get really annoyed by men who behave this way.

If he wants to take you out, he should simply ask. From your description, it seems like he'd rather get you to ask him because it's easier that way. Blech. I think he needs to be a man about it and take the initiative if he'd like to see you outside of work.

He sounds really really passive. As if he'll go out with you, but only if you take the risk (and it is a risk) of asking. I don't think this speaks very well of his character.

Again, my issue is NOT with whether nor not you should call a man, it's THIS man's behaviour of arranging a situation where he's said he'd like to see you but won't actually do anything about it. Are you sure you want to date a man who won't even take the tiny step of asking YOU?

Such wisdom! Yes, a man's behavior usually tells you everything you need to know. I still believe in giving people one chance to prove otherwise. TraciJo is entirely correct- I didn't realize he hadn't given you his number. I think it might be creepy if you just took it and called him...
 

Forgotten_Futures

The *other* Holy Trinity
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Mmm... a good tactic there would be to ask, "Would you mind if I called you sometime?" If he's edgy or guarded about that idea, you're probably better off forgetting about it. I'm all for giving him his chance; I know I've had bad enough luck in the general dating world that I'm unwilling to put all my cards up at once. But I'd be happy to have a girl I was interested in call me, and that makes all the difference here.
 

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