You know your a BHM when??

Dimensions Magazine

Help Support Dimensions Magazine:

Weirdo890

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
4,977
Location
,
You know you're a BHM when you go to put your belt on and it just says "No, I can't do this anymore."
 

ClockworkOrange

A Voice from Catland
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
207
Location
,
You know you're a BHM when....

You order dinner for yourself and the delivery driver thinks you're having a party

You're having a party and the delivery driver thinks you're ordering dinner for yourself

It takes 2 skateboards, one under each foot, to get the job done

You liken eating an entire large pizza to "having a slice or two"

Your couch fits your backside perfectly and it's not memory foam or anything :)

Nobody at fast food places ask you if you want to make it a large, they just assume

You've had a brand new treadmill for 4 years

You enjoy popcorn with your butter

Tripping and falling is potentially lethal

Laptop computers aren't exactly practical anymore

:D;)
 

Buffetbelly

Nosh, destroyer of snacks
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
782
Location
,
There are many very humorous exaggerations here, but I have one from actual real life.

The other day as I was leaving a buffet, my belt suddenly broke. Not the leather band, but the metal buckle. Clean break on the metal as I was walking down the street with a very full belly of spicy Indian food. Fortunately I am growing out of my overcoat too and it was so tight around my torso, like a sausage casing, that it kept my pants from dropping to my ankles. Had to hold up my pants by keeping my hands in my pockets for the rest of the day.

I guess the metal of the buckle just couldn't cope with the massive tectonic forces built up by my belly apron.
 

escapist

Belt Buster!
Joined
Jan 7, 2007
Messages
2,143
Location
,
Tripping and falling is potentially lethal
See this is where having a martial arts background is important.

Yeah I can actually do this

lol ok, I was gonna just post that but the full story was I was out jogging in the woods 1 time and I tripped just did the "Zempo" technique I posted above, and just rolled right out of it and kept on running and made it look I meant to do it lol. I'm sure if I hadn't known how to instinctively do that roll from so much practice I would have eaten a face full of dirt.
 

Tyrael

Gone
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
261
Location
,
"in best english"

Most important rule!

The best tools are always kept under a shed!
 

BubbleButtBoy

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2010
Messages
17
Location
,
You snap to attention when your history professor mentions " FFA", but then are thoroughly disappointed to find out she meant the Future Farmers of America youth group.
 

fat hiker

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2005
Messages
1,563
Location
Ottawa, ON
Bumping this to see if any more examples have popped up.... such as I saw last weekend.

You know you're a BHM when....

You have to sit sideways to sit at a picnic table...
 

escapist

Belt Buster!
Joined
Jan 7, 2007
Messages
2,143
Location
,
You know your a SSBHM when you examine every place you sit to make sure it can hold you and still your pretty sure your better off on the floor.


....My God, Broke 4 Chairs at work this week :blush:


*** lol Post edit thought....

You're totally an SSBHM when you can say, "My God, Broke 4 Chairs at work this week".
 
Joined
Apr 17, 2007
Messages
3,242
Location
,
You know your a SSBHM when you examine every place you sit to make sure it can hold you and still your pretty sure your better off on the floor.


....My God, Broke 4 Chairs at work this week :blush:


*** lol Post edit thought....

You're totally an SSBHM when you can say, "My God, Broke 4 Chairs at work this week".
You know when you are a FFA when this turns you on.:blush::batting:

**tries to give a consoling hug without being perving**;)
 

imfree

In Remembrance
Joined
Feb 6, 2007
Messages
9,310
Location
,
You know you're an SSBHM when a famous FFA Reps you for a ChiaKini pic!:D (ChiaGrin!)
 

escapist

Belt Buster!
Joined
Jan 7, 2007
Messages
2,143
Location
,
You know you're a SSBHM when you can't stop Chickenlegs humping your leg.
ROFL, how did I miss that! So True, So True!

However the truth is it only seems like she is humping your leg but really it's the only part of your body small enough for her to straddle so she can fondle/perv on your ass and legs! :blush:
 

luvbigfellas

Has lips like morphine
Joined
Oct 25, 2010
Messages
725
Location
,
ROFL, how did I miss that! So True, So True!

However the truth is it only seems like she is humping your leg but really it's the only part of your body small enough for her to straddle so she can fondle/perv on your ass and legs! :blush:
Hey now, I may not be quite long legged enough to straddle a BHM's hips, but I'll sure as hell try! And have some fun in the process! :D
 

Goreki

Fairy tales and Woe
Joined
Oct 4, 2005
Messages
987
Location
,
Hey now, I may not be quite long legged enough to straddle a BHM's hips, but I'll sure as hell try! And have some fun in the process! :D
It's all about being flexible enough to do the splits, and agile enough to stay balanced. So I hear. My legs are loooong.
 

Latest posts

Top