Candy_Coated_Clown
Well-Known Member
I've read some of the latest threads and found them very interesting to read...especially the one about FA requirement.
I've definitely always had a preference for FA men even before I knew there was a term for that. It was just a mindset I looked for in an ideal mate (and luckily I've definitely found that ideal mate).
Not that he "fetishize" extra weight but that he prefers it physically in a has a preference for zaftig and rubenesque builds...as he'd understand that extra weight is more than a physical expression but also an emotional one...a lifestyle. A FA is most likely a foodie himself. He is also passionate and likes a partner to match that energy.
Here's a bit of my thought process before I explain what a 10er or 18er is, so to speak.
When I see full-figured, curvy, plus-sized or whatever women, I can objectively see that some are very attractive and appealing but with myself I am very critical. I have the mindset that says it's OK for them and looks great, but for myself I'd ideally be and see myself as athletic and thinner. Also when I said "some" were attractive, I just mean like with any other category of women, some people look good and some don't as much regardless of weight.
That's definitely a problem I am trying to overcome, the self-concept I've come to internalize and use as an ID...I know size is more than just how one looks...as i referenced earlier...it's a mindset. I naturally enjoy eating and cooking...always have. I am very much a foodie and that will always be a big part of my personality. To enjoy life a bit more. So I want to be able to embrace all aspects of myself and that includes visually....to alter self-concept.
It's interesting that I've long been conditioned to prefer a body type for myself that symbolizes control, deprivation and lack of passion...given that one isn't naturally inclined towards thinness...because to be very thin and to maintain that means that for me. I've been thin before but it took so much effort to make sure I stayed that way. Granted, I am on the small end of BBW, I am definitely plus-sized and would like like to gain completely comfort in that and not just in seeing that in others. Being at this board helps a great deal btw.
Because I am a foodie, I am inclined more so to carry extra weight. My extra weight reflects my passion. So I have to come to terms with making sure my body is in harmony with how I am at a core level and vice versa. I should not strive to look in a way that places me outside of authenticity.
However, given all of this and getting to the focal point of this thread. I find myself greatly attracted to contrast. This sounds hypocritical but I like when I make an 18 with my partner. I also mentioned that an FA is most likely a foodie himself and I like when my partner is one as well. So if a foodie would more likely be inclined to extra weight, then why would I find myself attracted to an FA who offers physical contrast? Unless, he is just naturally thinner and athletic looking.
Basically, being a 10er or 18er means the desired partner looks visually like the 1 and you are visually (although stylistically) like the 8 or 0 (plus-sized/extra weight).
The contrast is a big attraction (but not a completely objectified one). Also this is not exclusive. I am certainly attracted to larger and stockier men as well but again if the man's body offers contrast with mine, it's more appealing.
Does anyone else here have this attraction? How do you feel about it, especially in relation to the background thinking stuff I wrote?
Do you feel this is a double standard? What do you think your psychology is behind being, what I call, a 10er or 18er? A man or a woman can be one by the way...although I find that it is more traditional and acceptable for a man to go for smaller women than larger women. Big with men is considered masculine and small with women is considered feminine. So I don't consider a male 10er or 18er to be all that "unique" if he is the second number...
But oddly enough (and this probably relates to my synesthesia), I see the 1 in 10 and 18 being male by default, so when I talk about 10er and 18er this means a plus sized woman preferring athletic or thinner men or a thinner or athletic male FA seeking fatter or fat women.
Also to add another tangent (although related)...I further find it weird that so many men on average like it when a woman enjoys herself...requesting that she be passionate, confident and assertive in seeking pleasure sensorially...all the while wanting her to maintain a body that just doesn't reflect that way of living.
To be thinner for most women is to restrict and control passion. I don't think many people acknowledge this contradiction.
Hopefully my thread intro isn't too all over the place, but all of these things I felt related to one another in subject matter and I wanted to shed light on how I think overall to give a better perspective and to stimulate thoughts here.
I've definitely always had a preference for FA men even before I knew there was a term for that. It was just a mindset I looked for in an ideal mate (and luckily I've definitely found that ideal mate).
Not that he "fetishize" extra weight but that he prefers it physically in a has a preference for zaftig and rubenesque builds...as he'd understand that extra weight is more than a physical expression but also an emotional one...a lifestyle. A FA is most likely a foodie himself. He is also passionate and likes a partner to match that energy.
Here's a bit of my thought process before I explain what a 10er or 18er is, so to speak.
When I see full-figured, curvy, plus-sized or whatever women, I can objectively see that some are very attractive and appealing but with myself I am very critical. I have the mindset that says it's OK for them and looks great, but for myself I'd ideally be and see myself as athletic and thinner. Also when I said "some" were attractive, I just mean like with any other category of women, some people look good and some don't as much regardless of weight.
That's definitely a problem I am trying to overcome, the self-concept I've come to internalize and use as an ID...I know size is more than just how one looks...as i referenced earlier...it's a mindset. I naturally enjoy eating and cooking...always have. I am very much a foodie and that will always be a big part of my personality. To enjoy life a bit more. So I want to be able to embrace all aspects of myself and that includes visually....to alter self-concept.
It's interesting that I've long been conditioned to prefer a body type for myself that symbolizes control, deprivation and lack of passion...given that one isn't naturally inclined towards thinness...because to be very thin and to maintain that means that for me. I've been thin before but it took so much effort to make sure I stayed that way. Granted, I am on the small end of BBW, I am definitely plus-sized and would like like to gain completely comfort in that and not just in seeing that in others. Being at this board helps a great deal btw.
Because I am a foodie, I am inclined more so to carry extra weight. My extra weight reflects my passion. So I have to come to terms with making sure my body is in harmony with how I am at a core level and vice versa. I should not strive to look in a way that places me outside of authenticity.
However, given all of this and getting to the focal point of this thread. I find myself greatly attracted to contrast. This sounds hypocritical but I like when I make an 18 with my partner. I also mentioned that an FA is most likely a foodie himself and I like when my partner is one as well. So if a foodie would more likely be inclined to extra weight, then why would I find myself attracted to an FA who offers physical contrast? Unless, he is just naturally thinner and athletic looking.
Basically, being a 10er or 18er means the desired partner looks visually like the 1 and you are visually (although stylistically) like the 8 or 0 (plus-sized/extra weight).
The contrast is a big attraction (but not a completely objectified one). Also this is not exclusive. I am certainly attracted to larger and stockier men as well but again if the man's body offers contrast with mine, it's more appealing.
Does anyone else here have this attraction? How do you feel about it, especially in relation to the background thinking stuff I wrote?
Do you feel this is a double standard? What do you think your psychology is behind being, what I call, a 10er or 18er? A man or a woman can be one by the way...although I find that it is more traditional and acceptable for a man to go for smaller women than larger women. Big with men is considered masculine and small with women is considered feminine. So I don't consider a male 10er or 18er to be all that "unique" if he is the second number...
But oddly enough (and this probably relates to my synesthesia), I see the 1 in 10 and 18 being male by default, so when I talk about 10er and 18er this means a plus sized woman preferring athletic or thinner men or a thinner or athletic male FA seeking fatter or fat women.
Also to add another tangent (although related)...I further find it weird that so many men on average like it when a woman enjoys herself...requesting that she be passionate, confident and assertive in seeking pleasure sensorially...all the while wanting her to maintain a body that just doesn't reflect that way of living.
To be thinner for most women is to restrict and control passion. I don't think many people acknowledge this contradiction.
Hopefully my thread intro isn't too all over the place, but all of these things I felt related to one another in subject matter and I wanted to shed light on how I think overall to give a better perspective and to stimulate thoughts here.
