Blondeegrldd
Well-Known Member
I've been getting to know a guy who I just adore. He's smart, funny, good looking, the whole package. He's a rather big guy, so of course that's a plus to me.
Last night I fully confided everything about my attraction to big guys, going all the way to my childhood when I remember noticing big grown-ups, to the times recently when I've tried to give average guys a chance and I found I just wasn't excited about them.
He took it well, but had never heard of "Fat Acceptance" and thought he would only find girls who liked him in spite of his weight. Up until this conversation he thought I was one of those, that I was just being kind. It did not freak him out though, in fact he was extremely curious.
The conversation started to steer to the other side: Big girls, and the fact that I am one. His response:
"Your eyes and smile are what got me, then your personality hooked me. Everything else does not matter to me."
Eh?
For over an hour we disected that one sentence. I wanted to understand. It finally came out that while he thought I was attractive in many physical/mental ways, he does not put much thought into how curvy I am or how skinny I am not. He wants me, but does not spend much time thinking about what my body is like. He thinks about me.
Which is nice, wonderful. But I know men, and how physical attraction is so important to them. That's how nature wired them. I now wonder if he is taking the "in spite of" stance with my weight.
And no, we haven't gotten hot 'n heavy yet. We are taking our time getting to know each other.
But down the road, if we are still seeing each other and it gets to the hot 'n heavy point.... I want him to love my curves!
I've come a long way from when I used to hate the way I looked. Now I want a guy who loves everything about the way I look.
Is this normal? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
Last night I fully confided everything about my attraction to big guys, going all the way to my childhood when I remember noticing big grown-ups, to the times recently when I've tried to give average guys a chance and I found I just wasn't excited about them.
He took it well, but had never heard of "Fat Acceptance" and thought he would only find girls who liked him in spite of his weight. Up until this conversation he thought I was one of those, that I was just being kind. It did not freak him out though, in fact he was extremely curious.
The conversation started to steer to the other side: Big girls, and the fact that I am one. His response:
"Your eyes and smile are what got me, then your personality hooked me. Everything else does not matter to me."
Eh?
For over an hour we disected that one sentence. I wanted to understand. It finally came out that while he thought I was attractive in many physical/mental ways, he does not put much thought into how curvy I am or how skinny I am not. He wants me, but does not spend much time thinking about what my body is like. He thinks about me.
Which is nice, wonderful. But I know men, and how physical attraction is so important to them. That's how nature wired them. I now wonder if he is taking the "in spite of" stance with my weight.
And no, we haven't gotten hot 'n heavy yet. We are taking our time getting to know each other.
But down the road, if we are still seeing each other and it gets to the hot 'n heavy point.... I want him to love my curves!
I've come a long way from when I used to hate the way I looked. Now I want a guy who loves everything about the way I look.
Is this normal? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
