gotigersgo2000
Well-Known Member
So, I wrote something on another site (totally unrelated to Dimensions) that I would like to share here. I would like people on here to follow the idea at the end, so please read:
Alright, so yet another note of something spewing from my brain....
I was told by a member of the country club I work for that I should look into weight loss surgery. Now before everyone gets riled up, fired up, and wanting to call up my job and get mad, let me put it into proper place & context.
First, this man is a semi-retired doctor. He has the letters M.D. after his name, so therefore he is qualified to make any medical pronouncements as far as I'm concerned. Secondly, it was not in any type of ugly scene, "You're a fat s.o.b., you suck, you need to lose a billion pounds ***, blah blah blah". I saw him leaving the workout room and talked to him for a few minutes. I mentioned that I had started working out and watching my diet again recently, and he told me that was a good start. He then said that I ought to look into weight loss surgery. I thaked him for his concern, but told him I'd rather do it the old fashioned way. It was when he said, "Well, you can't do it. Or most people can't do it" that I probably let a little displeaure show on my face, since he added the last part of that statement rather quickly.
I know he was just passing on his medical opinion, and had some concern for my well-being; otherwise, I don't think he would have said a word. The thing that bothered me the most was telling me I couldn't do it. Those that know me very well can tell you that I will die trying to prove I can do something that someone says I can't do. Maybe he can see that about me, and decided that he wanted to give me some motivation. Maybe not. Either way, I'm taking it like that.
This got me thinking about something. In society today, or at least American society, it's not considered very polite for someone to talk about someone that's fat in a negative way, at least towards a woman. You know what they always say the 2 things to never ask a woman: Her age and her weight. And while I know that when womenfolk are away from men, they'll be more likely to bluntly tell a friend or "frienemy" that they are fat, the ranks would more often than not close.
Most men, on the other hand, think nothing of going up to a friend, casual acquaintance or "frienemy" (yes, men have them too) that has gained weight and say "Hey, you expecting twins?", call them a rude name, or just flat out say that the party in question is getting fat, and should be mocked and riddiculed to no end. What's even worse is that everyone that is skinnier than the person in question (and a few that aren't) will feel the need to give "free" weight loss advice, even if they eat like garbage, get all of their exercise taking out the trash, have multiple unhealthy habbits, and have no idea what they are talking about.
I know that this sort of thing happens with women to women, as well as in between the sexes, but my point is this: Why do people think it's ok to point out to a fat person that they are fat, but God forbid if someone was blind and you said, "Hey, you're blind. Why don't you look into some sort of surgery and fix that?" (I'm not condoning this by the way-just trying to make a point). Of course you wouldn't do that! You would be run out of town and be considered an awful, awful person.
On this vein, I also want to address something else that ALL of us are guilty of. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. The opposite end of very fat is very thin, and people feel free to talk to those that are extremely svelte and say things like, "Hey, how much do you weigh?" "You need to eat a sandwich?" Or, in the case of women to a slim yong woman, "Oh, I used to be your size..." I've worked with a couple of these folks, and while I envy them their metabolism, I've come to realize just how uncomfortable it is talking about THEIR size can be. If anything, it's worse for them, because you don't hear anyone sticking up for them wen they feel uncomfortable or riddiculed.
In fact, I would be willing to wager that everyone, be they supermodel or homely, has something about themselves that they hate; somethin they pray that no one will notice or talk about; and would feel 2 inches tall if someone started teasing them about their weakness.
I'm not trying to tell people, "Oh we shouldn't tease or make fun of each other ever, no fun, blah blah blah". God knows I tease people about things all the time. Teasing is a natural part of life, we're all human, and sometimes it can be a fantastic icebreaker. I will say, however, that there is a line, and people cros it with each other all the time. In fact, I'm making this public statement now: If I cross a line in teasing you, or make fun of you about something that's just too painful, feel free to tell me to stop, and if I persist, kick my in the balls. Again, FIRST WARN, THEN KICK IF I DON"T STOP. If you just haul off and kick me in the bidness area for no reason, or without proper warning, I'll beat the dogmess out of you.
This also brings me to another point in talking about a part of life that is painful in some way for 99% of us: The teenage years.
During those years, most of us went through awkward stages, and hormones raged and flew. During that time,almost everyone had a crush on someone. In many cases, these crushes went unrequited. This may or may not have been a good thing, but my point is this:
There are girls (and guys) that didn't let their crushes know how they felt due to societal pressures. The person they wanted was too fat. Or too thin. Or tall, or short, or everyone else thought they were ugly, or weird, or came from the wrong part of town, or whatever.
This is a very personal subject for me, because in junior high & high school, I was the big offensive lineman (fat, but not like I am now; much more fit) that was, to be charitable to myself, eccentric (weird, if ya want to get down to it). I was an odd duck, and I still am. Having met people that share a lot of my interests, I feel somewhat more comfortable with who I am. However, that doesn't mean I don't still feel a bit insecure about myself, and especially about that period of my life. I know I'm not alone in feeling and saying this, but I truly felt that I was unattractive and unworthy of affection, and that no one would ever love me.
I was very naiive, and unable to pick up on several cues that people were interested in me. I wonder how different things would be for me had I known that someone felt that way about me.
While you can't change the past, you can make a difference. I challenge everyone that reads this to A) pass it along so others may read it, and let that jr. high, high school, or college crush you had, that had no clue how you felt, know how you felt. Even if you or they are married, engaged, or otherwise unavailable. I'm not saying break up whatcha got. I am saying let them know. I guarantee it will make their day, and possibly yours, even better. If the feeling wasn't mutual, it happens, but I guarantee you'll make at least one person's day. And for those that are single or available, who knows....
Do I have a grand master scheme for this to take over the world? No. I doubt that even half of you will read this, or even follow through with what I propose. I will say that if even ONE person does this, I'll feel like I made a difference. And that, to me, is worth it.
Alright, so yet another note of something spewing from my brain....
I was told by a member of the country club I work for that I should look into weight loss surgery. Now before everyone gets riled up, fired up, and wanting to call up my job and get mad, let me put it into proper place & context.
First, this man is a semi-retired doctor. He has the letters M.D. after his name, so therefore he is qualified to make any medical pronouncements as far as I'm concerned. Secondly, it was not in any type of ugly scene, "You're a fat s.o.b., you suck, you need to lose a billion pounds ***, blah blah blah". I saw him leaving the workout room and talked to him for a few minutes. I mentioned that I had started working out and watching my diet again recently, and he told me that was a good start. He then said that I ought to look into weight loss surgery. I thaked him for his concern, but told him I'd rather do it the old fashioned way. It was when he said, "Well, you can't do it. Or most people can't do it" that I probably let a little displeaure show on my face, since he added the last part of that statement rather quickly.
I know he was just passing on his medical opinion, and had some concern for my well-being; otherwise, I don't think he would have said a word. The thing that bothered me the most was telling me I couldn't do it. Those that know me very well can tell you that I will die trying to prove I can do something that someone says I can't do. Maybe he can see that about me, and decided that he wanted to give me some motivation. Maybe not. Either way, I'm taking it like that.
This got me thinking about something. In society today, or at least American society, it's not considered very polite for someone to talk about someone that's fat in a negative way, at least towards a woman. You know what they always say the 2 things to never ask a woman: Her age and her weight. And while I know that when womenfolk are away from men, they'll be more likely to bluntly tell a friend or "frienemy" that they are fat, the ranks would more often than not close.
Most men, on the other hand, think nothing of going up to a friend, casual acquaintance or "frienemy" (yes, men have them too) that has gained weight and say "Hey, you expecting twins?", call them a rude name, or just flat out say that the party in question is getting fat, and should be mocked and riddiculed to no end. What's even worse is that everyone that is skinnier than the person in question (and a few that aren't) will feel the need to give "free" weight loss advice, even if they eat like garbage, get all of their exercise taking out the trash, have multiple unhealthy habbits, and have no idea what they are talking about.
I know that this sort of thing happens with women to women, as well as in between the sexes, but my point is this: Why do people think it's ok to point out to a fat person that they are fat, but God forbid if someone was blind and you said, "Hey, you're blind. Why don't you look into some sort of surgery and fix that?" (I'm not condoning this by the way-just trying to make a point). Of course you wouldn't do that! You would be run out of town and be considered an awful, awful person.
On this vein, I also want to address something else that ALL of us are guilty of. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. The opposite end of very fat is very thin, and people feel free to talk to those that are extremely svelte and say things like, "Hey, how much do you weigh?" "You need to eat a sandwich?" Or, in the case of women to a slim yong woman, "Oh, I used to be your size..." I've worked with a couple of these folks, and while I envy them their metabolism, I've come to realize just how uncomfortable it is talking about THEIR size can be. If anything, it's worse for them, because you don't hear anyone sticking up for them wen they feel uncomfortable or riddiculed.
In fact, I would be willing to wager that everyone, be they supermodel or homely, has something about themselves that they hate; somethin they pray that no one will notice or talk about; and would feel 2 inches tall if someone started teasing them about their weakness.
I'm not trying to tell people, "Oh we shouldn't tease or make fun of each other ever, no fun, blah blah blah". God knows I tease people about things all the time. Teasing is a natural part of life, we're all human, and sometimes it can be a fantastic icebreaker. I will say, however, that there is a line, and people cros it with each other all the time. In fact, I'm making this public statement now: If I cross a line in teasing you, or make fun of you about something that's just too painful, feel free to tell me to stop, and if I persist, kick my in the balls. Again, FIRST WARN, THEN KICK IF I DON"T STOP. If you just haul off and kick me in the bidness area for no reason, or without proper warning, I'll beat the dogmess out of you.
This also brings me to another point in talking about a part of life that is painful in some way for 99% of us: The teenage years.
During those years, most of us went through awkward stages, and hormones raged and flew. During that time,almost everyone had a crush on someone. In many cases, these crushes went unrequited. This may or may not have been a good thing, but my point is this:
There are girls (and guys) that didn't let their crushes know how they felt due to societal pressures. The person they wanted was too fat. Or too thin. Or tall, or short, or everyone else thought they were ugly, or weird, or came from the wrong part of town, or whatever.
This is a very personal subject for me, because in junior high & high school, I was the big offensive lineman (fat, but not like I am now; much more fit) that was, to be charitable to myself, eccentric (weird, if ya want to get down to it). I was an odd duck, and I still am. Having met people that share a lot of my interests, I feel somewhat more comfortable with who I am. However, that doesn't mean I don't still feel a bit insecure about myself, and especially about that period of my life. I know I'm not alone in feeling and saying this, but I truly felt that I was unattractive and unworthy of affection, and that no one would ever love me.
I was very naiive, and unable to pick up on several cues that people were interested in me. I wonder how different things would be for me had I known that someone felt that way about me.
While you can't change the past, you can make a difference. I challenge everyone that reads this to A) pass it along so others may read it, and let that jr. high, high school, or college crush you had, that had no clue how you felt, know how you felt. Even if you or they are married, engaged, or otherwise unavailable. I'm not saying break up whatcha got. I am saying let them know. I guarantee it will make their day, and possibly yours, even better. If the feeling wasn't mutual, it happens, but I guarantee you'll make at least one person's day. And for those that are single or available, who knows....
Do I have a grand master scheme for this to take over the world? No. I doubt that even half of you will read this, or even follow through with what I propose. I will say that if even ONE person does this, I'll feel like I made a difference. And that, to me, is worth it.
