I have had a major breakthrough with my better half. This weekend I ended up expressing some of my deeper feelings about the attraction I feel towards him and his... chub 
and also the issues he's been having.
Our conversation spawned during cuddle time after, well, you know... and I just kind of opened up and explained that there's alot more to how he turns me on than just being in love with him. I took people's advice and used the energy coming off of the heat of the moment to help him understand, hey, I'm really not kidding when I explain my attraction. He took it well, and expressed that he not only is appreciative of that, but he wasn't very surprised either. I guess I was being naive. He actually said, "I think I know more about you than you think." So he isn't freaked out by my feelings after all.
We also ended up talking later in the evening about the secret eating he had been doing (which was the original reason why I even felt the need to post here). I basically said, "I know you've been going through alot lately and maybe it's making you stressed out." Then, as gently as possible, I said that I know he's been going on "binges" but that I'm not mad about that at all. I said I don't want him to feel like he has to diet if it makes him unhappy, especially if it stresses him out to the point of binging. I also said (paraphrasing, but I really, REALLY thought beforehand about what I wanted to say) "I love you at any size, but I love you more than you could know right now, at the size you are. Your size and my love for you are unrelated, but yet at the same time I am very, very happy with you at the size you are. So you don't need to feel like you have to lose weight, but you don't have to be big, either, if you don't want to." He then really opened up after that, almost in tears kind of having a little breakdown of how he's been feeling about himself, his weight, etc lately. At this point he does say he wants to lose weight, but not because of me. Apparently even though he says he "knew" I liked his bigness, he thought that somehow I still wanted him to lose weight. We talked about how "healthy" and "skinny" aren't the same. His biggest concern is my family, and feeling like he is "good enough" to marry me, in their eyes and in the world's eyes. I told him I totally disagree, of course, but that will be an issue to work out.
I definitely think things are going to be a bit different, in a good way. He knows more about me and I know more about him-- and nothing about our love has changed. So that has to be a good thing! And to be honest I'm very excited about this breakthrough, even though as a serious issue it isn't as "fun" for everyone else to read this in between picture posts.
Thanks to everyone's advice that helped me talk to my guy about all this. Of course there are still alot of things that haven't been said, and who knows if in the near future other things will be said or explained. For now I am okay keeping some of those other feelings inside as long as I know he'll be okay.
and also the issues he's been having.Our conversation spawned during cuddle time after, well, you know... and I just kind of opened up and explained that there's alot more to how he turns me on than just being in love with him. I took people's advice and used the energy coming off of the heat of the moment to help him understand, hey, I'm really not kidding when I explain my attraction. He took it well, and expressed that he not only is appreciative of that, but he wasn't very surprised either. I guess I was being naive. He actually said, "I think I know more about you than you think."
So he isn't freaked out by my feelings after all. We also ended up talking later in the evening about the secret eating he had been doing (which was the original reason why I even felt the need to post here). I basically said, "I know you've been going through alot lately and maybe it's making you stressed out." Then, as gently as possible, I said that I know he's been going on "binges" but that I'm not mad about that at all. I said I don't want him to feel like he has to diet if it makes him unhappy, especially if it stresses him out to the point of binging. I also said (paraphrasing, but I really, REALLY thought beforehand about what I wanted to say) "I love you at any size, but I love you more than you could know right now, at the size you are. Your size and my love for you are unrelated, but yet at the same time I am very, very happy with you at the size you are. So you don't need to feel like you have to lose weight, but you don't have to be big, either, if you don't want to." He then really opened up after that, almost in tears kind of having a little breakdown of how he's been feeling about himself, his weight, etc lately. At this point he does say he wants to lose weight, but not because of me. Apparently even though he says he "knew" I liked his bigness, he thought that somehow I still wanted him to lose weight. We talked about how "healthy" and "skinny" aren't the same. His biggest concern is my family, and feeling like he is "good enough" to marry me, in their eyes and in the world's eyes. I told him I totally disagree, of course, but that will be an issue to work out.
I definitely think things are going to be a bit different, in a good way. He knows more about me and I know more about him-- and nothing about our love has changed. So that has to be a good thing! And to be honest I'm very excited about this breakthrough, even though as a serious issue it isn't as "fun" for everyone else to read this in between picture posts.
Thanks to everyone's advice that helped me talk to my guy about all this. Of course there are still alot of things that haven't been said, and who knows if in the near future other things will be said or explained. For now I am okay keeping some of those other feelings inside as long as I know he'll be okay.
