Thank you, @magodamilion2. I was hoping that there would be some discussion about this, as it's a complicated issue. As I'm gay and only date fat men, I have to listen to what other people say about this. I wonder, if some of the difference in our experience might be because we live in different countries. I've lived in the UK and in New Zealand, where I currently reside.It's really not that easy though. I agree that the stigma is harsher on fat women, but I don't think that translates to the experience of dating fat men being less judged than dating fat women. I'm a bisexual FFA who has dated both, and people have been way less surprised/more positive when I've dated a fat women. The reaction was very neutral, like no one really thought anything of it from a weight standpoint. Whereas when I've dated a fat man, people have been very confused as if I was downgrading and embarrassing myself somehow.
I think it also depends on the kind of social circle you're in. If you're in more of a 'woke' liberal circle, fat women tend to be perceived much more positively than fat men are.
We agree that there is more stigma against fat women than against fat men. We perceive the reaction to dating fat men and fat women differently. I wonder how much of that difference is because we live in different countries. The sort of reaction that I see towards fat men dating conventionally attractive women is that they don't deserve an attractive woman. "She should be mine." The reaction to a conventionally attractive guy dating a fat woman can be quite vitriolic. New Zealand tends to lag behind America with fashions, attitudes and social trends. I wonder, if this accounts for the differences that are observed.
I agree that what we observe depends on the social circle that we move in. I'm an active member of the New Zealand Labour Party, which is proud of its stance on equality for all. Discrimination against fat women and against fat men is utter anathema to them. Less political liberal circles here probably do treat fat women better than fat men. The worst fat hatred that I see is in our little gay club, which is dominated quite by chance by fat men. They hate themselves for being fat and they hate me for liking being fat and for dating fat guys. But that is a different can of worms.