Dear Conrad:

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CleverBomb

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Past the edit time-window:
However, barring proof that the site management had seen legally-valid evidence for the allegations, my lay opinion is that complicity (for liability purposes) would be extremely difficult to prove in court.

It makes sense from the standpoint of exposure to litigation.

The rest, well, is a matter for subjective opinion.

-Rusty
 

Big_Belly_Lover

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I think a warning should be put out but it shouldn't be allowed to just go on and on because then things just go round in circles as usual.

If the guy gets banned then he'll only come back under a different user name, give them false information about who he is and then try and meet someone - when that happens that's an even more deceitful act and more dangerous for the person involved.

I was at a gig last night in London and was told numerous times by staff inside that there were lots of thefts the previous nights so I kept my belongings safe where I knew where they were - things like this happen wherever you go...

A couple of years ago when I was walking home down my road I was assaulted by about 5 or 6 youths - now you could say I was partly to blame for this as I'd been on a night out with friends and decided to take the bus home instead of a taxi which would have been a safer option for me. I subsequently contacted the police on the matter and they were absolutely useless in the handling of the crime that had been commited to me, even my complaint wasn't taken seriously, I did however manage to get some compensation from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Association - I'm not sure if contacting an organisation like that would help.

A little off topic I guess but was just sharing my experiences of crime...

Matt.
 

LoveBHMS

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I would have to call into question why this guy is still active on the boards and not banned ... that is particularly troubling.
Because we shouldn't go down the road of banning people for what they do in real life.

This is easily the only time I've ever disagreed with thatgirl08 and Ivy and I doubt it will happen again. Allowing this talk to go on on Dims will set a bad precedent. In this case the man involved has admitted what he did, but what if he hadn't? What if somebody wound up being falsely accused and having a reputation ruined? This is a clear cut crime but there are dozens of other grey areas. What if a married person pretended to be single? What if age or social status was misrepresented on Dims as it often is elsewhere online? What about gender? Allowing this board to be used to expose personal issues can wind up making it a lynch mob.

Conrad is not, and can't be responsible for the behaviours of adults across the world simply because they post on his site. From what has been posted on other site, this man met his victim at a BBW social event, not even online.

Dimensions and the FA community exist largely in real life. Lots of us know each other and are friends and lovers. There are meetups all over the place as well as bashes and other BBW events and clubs. Even online there are Facebooks and other cyber venues to communicate. I have no doubt the crime victim here has had enough opportunity to warn other potential victims.
 

NoWayOut

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Couldn't agree more with the original poster. This is supposed to be a tight-knit community, and that can't exist with a legit reason to fear other members. This topic needs to be out there, not hidden.
 

Deven

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Because we shouldn't go down the road of banning people for what they do in real life.

This is easily the only time I've ever disagreed with thatgirl08 and Ivy and I doubt it will happen again. Allowing this talk to go on on Dims will set a bad precedent. In this case the man involved has admitted what he did, but what if he hadn't? What if somebody wound up being falsely accused and having a reputation ruined? This is a clear cut crime but there are dozens of other grey areas. What if a married person pretended to be single? What if age or social status was misrepresented on Dims as it often is elsewhere online? What about gender? Allowing this board to be used to expose personal issues can wind up making it a lynch mob.

Conrad is not, and can't be responsible for the behaviours of adults across the world simply because they post on his site. From what has been posted on other site, this man met his victim at a BBW social event, not even online.

Dimensions and the FA community exist largely in real life. Lots of us know each other and are friends and lovers. There are meetups all over the place as well as bashes and other BBW events and clubs. Even online there are Facebooks and other cyber venues to communicate. I have no doubt the crime victim here has had enough opportunity to warn other potential victims.
So he should be allowed on the forum where he is still preying on women? So he can find more victims? Yeah, that makes total sense. :rolleyes:

Not everyone belongs to more than 1 community, you know. I only belong to this one, and would be unaware otherwise. I also don't have many dimmers on my Facebook: just 3 or so.
 

LoveBHMS

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To quote a fabulous former member here, everyone wants a safe haven, but the internet isn't where that's going to be.
 

Giraffes?Giraffes!

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Dear Conrad: You may remember me as Boteroesque Babe, former active member and moderator here. I hope you’ll call upon the good will from my many years at Dimensions and hear me out.

A female member here has just been scammed and robbed by another member. This fact is not in contention. The perpetrator has admitted to his crime, and it has since come to light that he’s done similar to others, plucking his victims from this forum. Thanks to the assorted fat communities on Facebook, I’ve just learned that a thread warning other women was posted here, and subsequently closed by you, saying it was not a board matter.

I’m baffled and vexed by this seemingly irresponsible decision, and urge you to rethink it. I imagine your goal is to protect the reputation of Dimensions, but please understand that this action puts a fairly huge dent in that very reputation. It also puts the women of your board in danger and sets a wildly reckless precedent. Do you want to be responsible for future crimes between forum members? Perhaps violent crimes? That may sound outrageous, but I see it as the logical progression of what you’ve put in motion.

I was once the victim of a crime at the hands of a member of this forum, and at the time you said you were unable to give me the information that would assist me. I believed you. I’m now forced to question that.

Please, Conrad. Invest in the safety of the members here. Allow this uncontested crime to be discussed.

Thanks in advance for your [re]consideration.

BB

Edited to add: Hiya, to any old-timers who may still be here.
Agreed on all counts.
 

willowmoon

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I think when this many people of the Dims community are certainly outraged about this, clearly a message is being sent. People have met before on Dims and sometimes things don't work out and they break up ... which, yeah, is a relationship situation and certainly not a Dims "board" issue. But what this guy did goes WAY beyond a relationship merely not working out.

By allowing him to stay as an active member of the boards just looks wrong. I understand that perhaps the guy could try to get back on the boards under a different username but I would imagine he would be "outed" quickly. Example: we have had people in the past who were banned but then got back on under a different username but certain things tip other members off as in the style of the posts, basic sentence structure, grammar, etc. It doesn't take long to figure them out, it's like a fingerprint basically.

Conrad, I don't think you would be legally responsible for the actions of one bad apple. But to merely sweep this matter under the carpet sends the wrong impression to new Dims members along with us "seasoned" ones.

I urge you to please reconsider your stance on this matter.
 

Ample Pie

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But what this guy did goes WAY beyond a relationship merely not working out.
But what this guy did goes WAY beyond a relationship merely not working out.

But what this guy did goes WAY beyond a relationship merely not working out.

But what this guy did goes WAY beyond a relationship merely not working out.
 

The Fez

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(I'm quitting of my own accord so no need to get the banhammer out, I know Conrad isn't a fan)

What I did was awful yes, but just to be clear, I don't go around the forum as a 'predator' luring women into this. She's the only person I've stolen from (not excusing how bad it is), and I'll be paying her back asap. I didn't meet up with her with the intent of stealing from her, it's an awful decision I made that I'm going to regret for a very long time.

I think the other two people in question are two women that I've borrowed money from (20 and 60 quid respectively) and have already spoken to about paying back.

The rest is mostly gossip and hearsay (somebody said it was for drugs? lolwhat)

anyway, yeah, I'll be leaving on my own so no worries there
 

vardon_grip

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To quote a fabulous former member here, everyone wants a safe haven, but the internet isn't where that's going to be.
I'm down with what you're saying. Dimensions is on the internet, so...

Dimensions is not a safe haven.
 

vardon_grip

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(I'm quitting of my own accord so no need to get the banhammer out, I know Conrad isn't a fan)

What I did was awful yes, but just to be clear, I don't go around the forum as a 'predator' luring women into this. She's the only person I've stolen from (not excusing how bad it is), and I'll be paying her back asap. I didn't meet up with her with the intent of stealing from her, it's an awful decision I made that I'm going to regret for a very long time.

I think the other two people in question are two women that I've borrowed money from (20 and 60 quid respectively) and have already spoken to about paying back.

The rest is mostly gossip and hearsay (somebody said it was for drugs? lolwhat)

anyway, yeah, I'll be leaving on my own so no worries there
You bring up an interesting point: Is leaving of your own accord the same as being banned?

My opinion is no. It doesn't matter if a member leaves out of triumph, disgust, disinterest or shame...it is still a choice. It is also a choice that can be reversed.

Another point this brings up is if theft doesn't warrant banishment, then what do we compare other banishments to?

Troll vs. Thief?
Profanity vs. Thief?
Rant against deathfat vs. Thief?
Rant against Dimensions vs. Thief?
William vs. Thief?
Stldpn vs.Thief?

A lot of things look trivial in comparison.
If there was only one choice allowed and the choice was between keeping a troll or an admitted thief, I would choose the troll...and no one can stand trolls.

Let's see what Dimensions chooses.
 

The Fez

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what I did is probably worse than all of the above. I'm well aware of that and what I want to do now is make sure she gets her money back, get some therapy and move on with my life.

Although I guess I'm supposed to be this really evil person so, sure, you can think that if you want, I won't blame you, and ultimately it doesn't effect either me or any of you. I just never intend to do this sort of thing again, and to get there I need a fresh start anyway.

I'll stay in touch with the few friends that are willing to, and go from there. I'd also like to apologise to anybody that knew me and thought better of me.
 

LillyBBBW

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You bring up an interesting point: Is leaving of your own accord the same as being banned?

My opinion is no. It doesn't matter if a member leaves out of triumph, disgust, disinterest or shame...it is still a choice. It is also a choice that can be reversed.

Another point this brings up is if theft doesn't warrant banishment, then what do we compare other banishments to?

Troll vs. Thief?
Profanity vs. Thief?
Rant against deathfat vs. Thief?
Rant against Dimensions vs. Thief?
Stldpn vs.Thief?

A lot of things look trivial in comparison.
If their was only one choice allowed and the choice was between keeping a troll or an admitted thief, I would choose the troll and no one can stand trolls.

Let's see what Dimensions chooses.
No. Leaving on your own accord is what you do when you get sick.... and tired.... of the way a place twists and strains itself to obsess over bad words and other stupid crap while allowing crooks and liars to roam free.


ETA: Oh wait, he's sorry. Nevermind then. *eyeroll*
 

Marlayna

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what I did is probably worse than all of the above. I'm well aware of that and what I want to do now is make sure she gets her money back, get some therapy and move on with my life.

Although I guess I'm supposed to be this really evil person so, sure, you can think that if you want, I won't blame you, and ultimately it doesn't effect either me or any of you. I just never intend to do this sort of thing again, and to get there I need a fresh start anyway.

I'll stay in touch with the few friends that are willing to, and go from there. I'd also like to apologise to anybody that knew me and thought better of me.
You suck!:mad:
 

fritzi

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I can fully understand the OPs position - but also have some understanding for where the webmaster is coming from.

Easy banning and board punishment might indeed lead to more dirty laundry being aired with a plethora of libel, slander, etc. and their consequences on the boards.

Imo there is a pretty straightforward solution though, which would apply in the case in question: As soon as there is a police record, a criminal charge has been filed or which ever the legal proceeding in the country in question might be (evidence of this can easily be mailed) - then the webmaster/board responsibles can take the according measures on the board, ban the person in question to ensure as far as possible that other board members are not harmed.

Bad behavior is one thing - criminal offences another.
Differentiate between them and treat them accordingly.
 

Lovelyone

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I can fully understand the OPs position - but also have some understanding for where the webmaster is coming from.

Easy banning and board punishment might indeed lead to more dirty laundry being aired with a plethora of libel, slander, etc. and their consequences on the boards.

Imo there is a pretty straightforward solution though, which would apply in the case in question: As soon as there is a police record, a criminal charge has been filed or which ever the legal proceeding in the country in question might be (evidence of this can easily be mailed) - then the webmaster/board responsibles can take the according measures on the board, ban the person in question to ensure as far as possible that other board members are not harmed.

Bad behavior is one thing - criminal offences another.
Differentiate between them and treat them accordingly.
I really tried not to post on this or the other thread, but I could not let this one pass by.

So what you are saying is...that unless there are charges filed this should be swept under the rug and counted as just "bad behavior"? REALLY?? I doubt you would feel that way if it happened to you. So stealing is just "bad behavior" unless there are charges filed...in which it then becomes punishable--interesting, albeit completely wrong theory. Are you kidding? Theft IS a criminal offense with or without charges being filed. PERIOD. There is NO difference between a theft with charges filed and a theft without charges filed. Someone has been stolen from and that is a criminal act.

The problem lies in the fact that this person seems to have used this board to prey on larger women. He has now admitted to "borrowing money" from two OTHER women(whom--by his own admission, he has not paid back) in addition to admitting that he has stolen from the OP. There is no question that he's a thief because he has admitted to being one. Should that other thread have been closed? In my opinion,no...but it's not my forum. I am only a tiny part of a huge community. However, I would prefer to be enlightened to these kinds of things as to avoid them happening to me (as I am sure most other ladies would).
 

Ample Pie

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No. Leaving on your own accord is what you do when you get sick.... and tired.... of the way a place twists and strains itself to obsess over bad words and other stupid crap while allowing crooks and liars to roam free.
Yup.
This.
I've never used the forum to lure people into a false sense of solidarity or security only to steal from them...and yet I've gotten an infraction (supposedly for calling someone fucking twaddle, when really I said her words were fucking twaddle), been warned for calling a sexist pig a pig while he was calling fat women like me pigs using different language, and had my posts on this matter deleted.

Maybe I'll switch over. I'll quit having opinions and just start stealing from Dims members. Then I'll truly belong.
 
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