activistfatgirl
donuts at the finish line
I'm curious if other fat women or BHMs would share if they've had experiences with FAs still in the closet or ashamed of their attraction. I think something just snapped tonight and I'm feeling that raw frustration. Been there?
Here's a little letter:
Dear Fat Admirers (FAs),
Why are you hiding? I know you hold me now, but Ive never met your friends. Youve met all of mine--they like you. Youre sweet, affectionate, into me. Then, why do you always stay at my house? Its always my bed, my sheets that you make love to me on. What are you afraid of?
Dear FA that pretends I dont exist when you run into a high school friend at a concert. I have to jab you in the back to give you your ticket. Your friend has to usher your attention towards me. I smile and act playful, as always in denial and constantly forgiving. Ive still never talked to you about this. I still hold back tears of embarrassment when I think about how quickly youd pretend you were with someone else.
Dear FA that drives an hour to see me but has never invited me to your apartment, do you know how much I hate that I let this go on for a year? I did sleep on your bed once. It was winter break, the house was empty, and it was ok for me to be naked, quaking, walking, being. I didnt get mad until months later.
Dear FA that has a ton of fat girls on his profile--be it Myspace or Friendster or whatever. Thats great! Youre out! People know that you like fat girls! Why arent any of your real life friends on your profile too? Oh, right, because this is the part of the internet that you are open about being with fat girls--among fat girls. Do you have another one without the fatties?
What would you do if they found all the messages and lovesick comments you send to your lovely zaftig internet pals? And the real question is: would you laugh at the jokes they made about it and play it cool?
Dear FA that wants to fuck fat girls but not date them. Im constantly sorrowful I didnt know how to pick you out sooner, and consistently frustrated when you slip by now. You dont deserve this.
Dear FA that talks to me anonymously online and says Im cocky for not wanting to talk to you. Im not cocky. Im fragile and insecure like many. I simply believe in myself a bit more than that. And Ill never trust a man who doesnt reveal his true identity, because, again, what are you afraid of?
Dear FA that doesnt think Im good enough. Why are you still seeing me? Why do I let you?
Dear FA that keeps it on the down low. I promise to get naked and streak your next family gathering, should you not understand that I deserveno demand, to be at your side next time, not in your wet dreams.
Here's a little letter:
Dear Fat Admirers (FAs),
Why are you hiding? I know you hold me now, but Ive never met your friends. Youve met all of mine--they like you. Youre sweet, affectionate, into me. Then, why do you always stay at my house? Its always my bed, my sheets that you make love to me on. What are you afraid of?
Dear FA that pretends I dont exist when you run into a high school friend at a concert. I have to jab you in the back to give you your ticket. Your friend has to usher your attention towards me. I smile and act playful, as always in denial and constantly forgiving. Ive still never talked to you about this. I still hold back tears of embarrassment when I think about how quickly youd pretend you were with someone else.
Dear FA that drives an hour to see me but has never invited me to your apartment, do you know how much I hate that I let this go on for a year? I did sleep on your bed once. It was winter break, the house was empty, and it was ok for me to be naked, quaking, walking, being. I didnt get mad until months later.
Dear FA that has a ton of fat girls on his profile--be it Myspace or Friendster or whatever. Thats great! Youre out! People know that you like fat girls! Why arent any of your real life friends on your profile too? Oh, right, because this is the part of the internet that you are open about being with fat girls--among fat girls. Do you have another one without the fatties?
What would you do if they found all the messages and lovesick comments you send to your lovely zaftig internet pals? And the real question is: would you laugh at the jokes they made about it and play it cool?
Dear FA that wants to fuck fat girls but not date them. Im constantly sorrowful I didnt know how to pick you out sooner, and consistently frustrated when you slip by now. You dont deserve this.
Dear FA that talks to me anonymously online and says Im cocky for not wanting to talk to you. Im not cocky. Im fragile and insecure like many. I simply believe in myself a bit more than that. And Ill never trust a man who doesnt reveal his true identity, because, again, what are you afraid of?
Dear FA that doesnt think Im good enough. Why are you still seeing me? Why do I let you?
Dear FA that keeps it on the down low. I promise to get naked and streak your next family gathering, should you not understand that I deserveno demand, to be at your side next time, not in your wet dreams.
