I was sent this picture today by an old high school friend. She was asking my permission to post it to our class yahoo group. I remember when this picture was taken. I was 24 (1977) and I felt like the fattest, ugliest woman in the world. No one carried as much weight as I did of all my friends.
Look at the picture - I'm at a beach on Lake Michigan and covered up totally with semi long sleeves. I was wearing jeans too as I remember the day. It was hot on that beach. I'm surprised I let her take that picture of me at the time.
Since that time I've gained almost 200 pounds. I've aged almost 30 years. I have a double chin, thinning hair, some wrinkles and very dark circles under my eyes, I waddle instead of walk. Yet I no longer hate myself for the way I look. I think it's interesting and very sad how young women feel about themselves.
Here's me now. I took this picture last week to show someone how my hair was thinning. I wasn't posing to minimize my double chin and the only thing I did to this picture was crop it, so it's an honest picture of how I look today.
I have to credit Dimensions for being able to post it. Until I found this place, I was still hating my body. While I'm not happy with the health problems that can come with fat and while I don't think I look my best this fat, I still don't hate my body or myself. Dimensions made me look at myself totally differently than I ever had.
I've been trying to wean myself away from Dimensions for personal reasons. I shouldn't have to but it would be better for me if I did. It has put me into such a quandry. But then I think about what this place has done for my self-image and I feel the need to hang on to it tightly.
I'm wondering if Dimensions has had this effect on anyone else and if so, would you be willing to post your feelings on it?
p.s. Can a moderator correct the title and put D where I typed C for Dimensions? If not, I give you all permission to humiliate me over the misspelling.
