Hi, This is going to be a long post so please be patient if you would like.
I have been lurking the past few days. I have been reading a lot and have much more of an understanding of myself and weight gain. I was wondering if any of you have bad guilt or anxiety over gaining weight. I have bad anxiety and my weight gain is a trigger. I have gained 100 pounds in about one year and I feel really unhealthy and wonder what I am doing to my body. After I eat I get freaked out that its all bad for me and feel guilty, like I'm gonna have a heart attack. Trust me I am so much more relaxed about my weight gain than when I first came here. I am starting to accept myself as for what I am now and if I lose I will lose and I dont sweat it like I did my whole life. My thera[ist has helped with this. as I used to do anything to be skinny :doh:This is a big thing for me, belive me:blush:. I just some times get really bad anxiety about the unhealthy things I think I am doing to my body.My doctor isnt really worried about it at this time. I think the rapid weight gain has cause weird changes in my body, like im not as energetic as I was and Im soo tired ..etc and I fell like maybe I am doing real harm. I hope this post does NOT offend anyone. I was wondering if anyone felt crappy after eating crap. LOL. Also another upseting thing happened to me this week. I saw an old "friend" and I did a work assignment for her . I basiclly havent been doing much for a few months and am very out of shape and get tired very easy, and she basically trashed me for gaining weight asking if my fiance and I have sex, how can we at my size, does he like my body , how can I get on top , does he like my ass. I told her he loves me for me, not my outside appearance and she couldnt grasp that, then she followed it up with saying she was concerned for my health. Other people who were working that day said I should of punched her out. She is obsessed with being skinny and is a size 0 or 2 at the most She is very very thin and I know she was looking at me in disgust , like how could my man still think I am hot .. etc. I handeled it very well. Then cried in the bathroom. Not at me gaining the weight, but of her ignorance to be so mean and superficial and very shallow. Is this who I was? :blush:. I am struggling with this. I like to eat and right now I have other priorities than my weight. Like getting my anxiety under control and feeling good about myself and my self esteem. This weight gain confuses me as some days im like ok . No big deal I'm hot and then I feel anxiety over eating junk food and being out of shape. Thanks for listening to my mini rant. even if it made no sense.
I have been lurking the past few days. I have been reading a lot and have much more of an understanding of myself and weight gain. I was wondering if any of you have bad guilt or anxiety over gaining weight. I have bad anxiety and my weight gain is a trigger. I have gained 100 pounds in about one year and I feel really unhealthy and wonder what I am doing to my body. After I eat I get freaked out that its all bad for me and feel guilty, like I'm gonna have a heart attack. Trust me I am so much more relaxed about my weight gain than when I first came here. I am starting to accept myself as for what I am now and if I lose I will lose and I dont sweat it like I did my whole life. My thera[ist has helped with this. as I used to do anything to be skinny :doh:This is a big thing for me, belive me:blush:. I just some times get really bad anxiety about the unhealthy things I think I am doing to my body.My doctor isnt really worried about it at this time. I think the rapid weight gain has cause weird changes in my body, like im not as energetic as I was and Im soo tired ..etc and I fell like maybe I am doing real harm. I hope this post does NOT offend anyone. I was wondering if anyone felt crappy after eating crap. LOL. Also another upseting thing happened to me this week. I saw an old "friend" and I did a work assignment for her . I basiclly havent been doing much for a few months and am very out of shape and get tired very easy, and she basically trashed me for gaining weight asking if my fiance and I have sex, how can we at my size, does he like my body , how can I get on top , does he like my ass. I told her he loves me for me, not my outside appearance and she couldnt grasp that, then she followed it up with saying she was concerned for my health. Other people who were working that day said I should of punched her out. She is obsessed with being skinny and is a size 0 or 2 at the most She is very very thin and I know she was looking at me in disgust , like how could my man still think I am hot .. etc. I handeled it very well. Then cried in the bathroom. Not at me gaining the weight, but of her ignorance to be so mean and superficial and very shallow. Is this who I was? :blush:. I am struggling with this. I like to eat and right now I have other priorities than my weight. Like getting my anxiety under control and feeling good about myself and my self esteem. This weight gain confuses me as some days im like ok . No big deal I'm hot and then I feel anxiety over eating junk food and being out of shape. Thanks for listening to my mini rant. even if it made no sense.
