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Fat as a compliment?

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fatgirlflyin

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You're in a relationship with her, that's different. There's all kinds of things someone in a relationship can call me that I don't want to hear coming out of a complete strangers mouth. I'll have to read the original post again because that's what I thought they were talking about. Compliments from people you aren't intimately involved with.



I am attracted to thin women. I've dated one as recent as 2 years ago and in fact, if I was single right now I'd have no problem asking her out. She's a better dating option than a lot of fat women I know and it has absolutely nothing to do with looks.

As it is, I'm in love with a really sweet, double gorgeous woman who's better than most everyone I've ever met. She has all the looks, all the personality, none of the drama. I call her every compliment I can think of and even make up words just to compliment her with.

And yes, I call her a variety of size related names. She loves it because she knows I find her absolutely gorgeous. She told me herself she gets off on me getting off on her. If she (or anyone) had a problem with it, obviously I wouldn't say that kind of stuff.

Being called a supersized sexy goddess maybe something you don't want, but there are others who love it.
 

KHayes666

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You're in a relationship with her, that's different. There's all kinds of things someone in a relationship can call me that I don't want to hear coming out of a complete strangers mouth. I'll have to read the original post again because that's what I thought they were talking about. Compliments from people you aren't intimately involved with.
I must read it again myself because I thought it was referring to all situations including intimate lovers.

If its coming from total strangers, then I actually agree its best to keep the "fat talk" until they're comfortable with you and even then probably best to make sure that she'd be ok with it.
 

mossystate

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I have complimented many BBWs and SSBBWs that they look better then the last time I saw them.

So the other ugly side to that coin of telling someone they look better than they used to...wonderful.
 

Bananaspills

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I do think a lot of women would take it in a negative way, and even refuse to believe it wasn't meant as a negative! Which is sad... When I was in Uni I had a friend who was quite short and apple-shaped (not very big, but chubby-moving towards fat.) She was very insecure about her body, and I thought it was so sad, because I LOVED her body! (Let me point out that I'm completely straight... *LOL*) I just thought her shape suited her, that she had a great sense of style, and that she was lovely and tactile... I couldn't imagine her being thin! Sadly, I thought she was even weirded out when *I* complimented her on her looks.

I also think that it's a lot more likely to be taken as a negative if the comment is about weight gain rather than about existing size. I would be unhappy (although not offended I don't think,) if someone said "Oh you've gained weight and look nice," because I don't want to gain any more.

And yes, I recently had a female friend tell me she thinks my face looks nicer now with the extra weight (we were looking at some old photoswhen I was quite a lot thinner.)
 

Emma

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I'm fine with being called fat as a compliment or a description. It is when there is negative emotion behind it that it upsets me a little.
 

Bananaspills

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I've been thinking about this thread and trying to understand why the word "fat" doesn't bother me that much (even if I have self esteem issues.) I finally figured it out :doh:

My 5 year old daughter calls me "Fat" quite often... I've really tried avoiding giving her a negative image about fat and never told her not to call people fat as it's impolite or whatever... We tell her people come in all different sizes (at most I've told her that being fat makes it more difficult for me to do some things.)
Anyway, she constantly says things like "Mummy you're nice and fat and cuddly!" "You're fat and cosy" etc, so in my mind the word has taken almost a positive spin! :happy:

My 3,5 year old son takes it a step further... He uses my butt as a trampoline. He'll run into me from behind, bounce off and have a great time doing it... Apparently "he likes my squishy bum-bum." (FA in training *LOL*:rolleyes:)
 

LalaCity

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A very nice Vietnamese woman used to come in regularly to where I worked. One day she smiled at me and said, "You are so pretty. So Plump!"

That made my life.
 

CastingPearls

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When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
 

Bananaspills

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When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
Aww, I love that story!
 

blueeyedevie

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girls i've dated/been with in the past have received my compliments for being fat. i.e. "i love the feel of your fat" or "you are fat and lovely," etc.
the girls i have been with have grown to get used to, and even like hearing these things
I was scanning the main topics and I saw this topic. Having read through, the above stands out to me the most.

OK, in my life time I have been told your so beautiful to be so fat; to Your so pretty its sad your so fat. Then there is the; Your looking so much better since your loosing weight, ( RECENTLY) hope to see less of you soon!! All these comments bother me, but lately it is the comments like the quote that bother me the most. Is it common for FA's to start out in a relationship treating there spouse like there human and then later on when the relationship is established start treating them like a big piece of fat meat? I miss being kissed passionately with out tummy grabs, I miss being looked at in the eyes, I miss being told I am lovely with out the fat added. I know he loves my fat, and thinks I am a total package but I need to be seen , not just my fat. DOES anyone else understand this?
 

Tania

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I miss being told I am lovely with out the fat added. I know he loves my fat, and thinks I am a total package but I need to be seen , not just my fat. DOES anyone else understand this?
I think I get you. I hate it when a guy - even someone with whom you're deeply involved - gets in the habit of reaching straight for his personal equivalent to The Naked Crotch (tm) when you're getting close, whether it's literally or figuratively. It's a little objectifying when it's figurative, and when it's literal, it can be violative. My big pet peeve is a guy zeroing in on my nipples all the time - drives me batshit. I *do* have other erogenous zones, I'm not your mom, you're not two months old, and holy crap! - sometimes I just like to cuddle without a boner all up in my metaphorical grill.

As for the fat compliment in general, I think it's all about context. "Fat" is such a socially and sexually loaded term that I realllly don't think anyone should use it unless the parties involved understand eachother. I mean, it's well understood that "You have big boobs!" is generally considered to be a compliment when coming from a guy, but if you're saying it to someone you don't know it's also considered to be pretty damn inappropriate. And big boobs don't come with the additional social stigma that fat does. At least, not in the same way.

When "fat" is used as a compliment, I think it's in good taste to prove that you've put care and thought into your observations. I.e., "OMG SO FAT!" doesn't demonstrate much personal investment, but a diverse littany of compliments including fat shows that your friend/sigother is paying attention to more than one dimension of you. It also shows that they respect you and your feelings enough to avoid sliding into bad habits, as innocent as they may be.
 

bonified

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Feelings of objectification piss me off. I also am a total package, mind body and soul.

To me what I have a problem with, is, wondering how someone of sound mind, would actively pursue someone that is obviously unhealthy. I know it's extremely insulting to those that have preferences for whatever, and I do apologise. But it is the war within me, reason vs dick action lol

I have recently met a very intruiging man, extremely clever, freak clever actually, talented, creative, well travelled and dirty - with a smoking fetish. I like him, but doubt I am anything 'cept a smoking potenial cum vessel to him. Weird, the world is fucking weird is all.
 

Tau

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When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
Ag so sweet man! You would certainly be worth many cows!! :p One of my uncles told me at a family gathering the other day that my dad would have to ask over 100 head of cows for my lobola (dowry). I laughed for days. It's still kind of sweetly weird how older people think about many things that are now considered ugly and looked on with scorn.
 

KittyKitten

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My boyfriends have complimented me on my big legs, "love them sexy thick thighs, girl". I also get complimented on my hips (I don't think I even have much hips). I get complimented alot on my body by men. It seems men have a greater appreciation for curves than women. Women tend to be so critical of each other. I don't really deal with too many women because they are so judgemental of their bodies. I hate it.

But to be called outright fat as in fat girl? I never found that used as a compliment. I don't find the word 'fat' sexy at all. I like the word voluptuous or curvy.
 

JulieD

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When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
My best friends husband lives in Jamaica (she is on her way to visit him as we speak) and one visit she was showing her in-laws pictures of her friends and family. Well, her husbands one uncle, a rastafarian, saw a picture of me and wanted to trade her 3 goats and 5 acres of beach property if she would bring me to marry him. I'm still debating on it, lol.
As far as fat being a compliment, I think from the right person, in the right setting, it is. I don't mind it when I'm being intimate with someone and they call me "sexy fat" or whatever. But if it was a constant oh baby, you're so fat...I would get sick of it. Guys are so visual, and just want to be reassuring that they really do like your body, they don't realize that they are over complimenting you...the same thing could be with a very pretty person...or whatever. If you are over complimented on the same thing all the time, it gets old. I think if you tell him that you love the fact that he loves you and your body, but he makes you feel a little uncomfortable when he constantly compliments your fat, he will understand. Guys don't want to be the reason we feel awkward, they want to make us comfortable and appreciated. Well, that's what I think anywayz...
 
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