FFA Gaining Faster Than Fiancee

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MissCrissi

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So, yeah, I recently joined to seek encouragement for finally somewhat telling my fiancee that I would like him to be bigger...alas...without fully telling him any other fantasies.
Anyhow, I've been trying to help him put on weight by making fatty foods and sneaking him more food than I.
However...
I'm beginning to think I'm gaining a lot faster than he is. -_-;
I'm starting to get a belly of sorts...way more so than his. I've asked him if he thinks I'm getting fat or anything and he normally answers with, "Hey, you can lose it at any point if you wanted to, but I love you no matter what you look like and don't care".
Well, that's great, but I want you to be putting on the weight! Argh!

Anyway, any FFAs or BHMs have advice of some sort?
 

CarlaSixx

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Typically women put on weight faster than men do, but perhaps you should actually be open about your fantasies with him in regards to his weight gain. He may just be totally up for it and even up for eating different meals than you for awhile to make it easier. I could see that working for you not gaining, and him gaining faster.
 

MissCrissi

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Typically women put on weight faster than men do, but perhaps you should actually be open about your fantasies with him in regards to his weight gain. He may just be totally up for it and even up for eating different meals than you for awhile to make it easier. I could see that working for you not gaining, and him gaining faster.
Well, money has been tight lately, so the meals haven't been as large as I normally try to make them, but now that he has a new job that sounds far less stressful(the stress has caused him to lose A LOT of weight), I think there's a chance he'll start gaining faster.

I would love to tell him and I feel confident in our relationship, especially since, you know? The whole getting married thing...but I still have that little voice telling me, "No, just keep it to yourself. Don't scare him away!". Silly anxiety disorders...:blush: I mean, there has been some hints from him that he wouldn't exactly...mind, but I can't be sure. His father was in charge of Seal Team II and is addicted to fitness, so he grew up being told there was only one way for him to be: fit and muscular. It's hard to ask him to try and be something different...
 

Amaranthine

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Well, money has been tight lately, so the meals haven't been as large as I normally try to make them, but now that he has a new job that sounds far less stressful(the stress has caused him to lose A LOT of weight), I think there's a chance he'll start gaining faster.

I would love to tell him and I feel confident in our relationship, especially since, you know? The whole getting married thing...but I still have that little voice telling me, "No, just keep it to yourself. Don't scare him away!". Silly anxiety disorders...:blush: I mean, there has been some hints from him that he wouldn't exactly...mind, but I can't be sure. His father was in charge of Seal Team II and is addicted to fitness, so he grew up being told there was only one way for him to be: fit and muscular. It's hard to ask him to try and be something different...
I know that feeling- my boyfriend was trying to lose weight FOR me when I was debating telling him. It's just intimidating feeling like what you want could inhibit his happiness or not knowing how he'll react to it. In the end I told him, and I feel like I got pretty lucky because he was totally fine with it and even gained it back.

At any rate, I can only wish you luck. It's hard not knowing what will happen, but there could be something good in store for you =] At least better than working behind the scenes and hoping something will happen while keeping this big secret all locked up inside.
 

Paquito

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Maybe it's karmic retribution for trying to secretly fatten him up?

Please, be up front with him.
 

Tad

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Nobody seems to have asked the obvious question: for yourself, how do you feel about the added weight? (Some FA prefer to be slim themselves, others don't care, others would love to also be fat....and of course variations and combinations of all of those).

For the record, what he said is pretty much what I always told my wife....and I'm an FA. I'm not saying that he is, it is equally possible that because you've been so understanding about any gain of his that he feels he has no grounds to complain if you've gained a little, or that he truly likes a broad range of sizes and doesn't care much. Just saying....he could like it.

A few questions for you:

- do you have a date set for your wedding yet? (weddings can bring up all sorts of body consciousness issues for a lot of people)

- Have you gained enough that larger clothes are in order? (can be a test of how he feels, if he’s hoping you’ll lose it he might be more inclined to encourage you not to get new ones, if he likes it he might be more inclined to encourage you to get bigger clothes)

- Have you ever noted attitudes from him towards fat guys, either supportive or otherwise? Might help give you a clue to his thoughts (and if he’s been very neutral that is interesting in its own way, suggests carefully keeping his opinion hidden, so why?)

Have fun sorting it all out!
 

Robbro

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This happened to my ex, lol. Just give it time, keep putting the food/desserts out there, some encouragement and let his appetite and your cooking do their thing :eat2:

I agree though, keep it modest unless you've been up front with him.
 

MissCrissi

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Maybe it's karmic retribution for trying to secretly fatten him up?

Please, be up front with him.
No, I totally agree with you. It probably may have something to do with my not being entirely up front with him

However, I have told him I'd like to see a belly on him and, the other day, he asked me if I liked the progress since he's been trying to eat fattier foods for me and what not. That made me think he doesn't mind.

What I haven't been totally up front with him about is my feeder-ish fantasies concerning him and that I would like him to put on more weight than just a belly.
 

MissCrissi

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Nobody seems to have asked the obvious question: for yourself, how do you feel about the added weight? (Some FA prefer to be slim themselves, others don't care, others would love to also be fat....and of course variations and combinations of all of those).

For the record, what he said is pretty much what I always told my wife....and I'm an FA. I'm not saying that he is, it is equally possible that because you've been so understanding about any gain of his that he feels he has no grounds to complain if you've gained a little, or that he truly likes a broad range of sizes and doesn't care much. Just saying....he could like it.

A few questions for you:

- do you have a date set for your wedding yet? (weddings can bring up all sorts of body consciousness issues for a lot of people)

- Have you gained enough that larger clothes are in order? (can be a test of how he feels, if he’s hoping you’ll lose it he might be more inclined to encourage you not to get new ones, if he likes it he might be more inclined to encourage you to get bigger clothes)

- Have you ever noted attitudes from him towards fat guys, either supportive or otherwise? Might help give you a clue to his thoughts (and if he’s been very neutral that is interesting in its own way, suggests carefully keeping his opinion hidden, so why?)

Have fun sorting it all out!
I don't particularly mind the weight, but I don't necessarily want to be the larger person in the relationship or put on enough weight to be considered a BBW. It just isn't my cup of tea. I currently weigh more than him, though, but it makes sense with my genetics, height, and build. He's just severely underweight due to his stress.

He has a BIG(no pun intended) thing for my butt. He loves how big it is(I do have a badonkadonk :p for a chick that isn't a BBW) and before I told him I'd like him to gain weight, I noticed his inclination to try and offer me his food and what not during dinner. >,<;

He isn't very nice about other people with weight...but I think it's just a result of his own self-esteem and being raised by a fitness addict. I've been trying to help him keep an open-mind, however, because I love people for their personalities and have a lot girlfriends that are BBWs and some boyfriends that are overweight(BHM...no, not really). He has come a long way from the mentality of his father and now jumps on people that are giving larger members of our society shit...I think the other day he was like, "Hey, now, come on! Fat people need love too!"(but not in a sarcastic manner)
 

Tad

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Heh, if it comes right down to him, you can always say "You like my butt, I like your gut. Any questions?"

Less flippantly....I told my wife, back when we were first dating, that I'd rather not be touching bone, and later the whole 'I have no trouble with you at any size, you will always be beautiful to me' bit (which is totally true). But like you, I didn't go into my feeding fantasies. I was pretty sure she did not share them, so telling her seemed to me to have not much upside and some potential downsides. I'm not sure that sharing everything is always a good idea. You are the person who is there, you have to decide what is right for you and your relationship.
 

Paquito

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No, I totally agree with you. It probably may have something to do with my not being entirely up front with him

However, I have told him I'd like to see a belly on him and, the other day, he asked me if I liked the progress since he's been trying to eat fattier foods for me and what not. That made me think he doesn't mind.

What I haven't been totally up front with him about is my feeder-ish fantasies concerning him and that I would like him to put on more weight than just a belly.
Well I don't think you need to go quite that far, but please don't make your relationship a badly written WG story. Just be up front that you would like him with a gut. Just no more of this trickery, ok? Pinky promise me.
 

MissCrissi

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Well I don't think you need to go quite that far, but please don't make your relationship a badly written WG story. Just be up front that you would like him with a gut. Just no more of this trickery, ok? Pinky promise me.
Ew. Badly writen WG story? Trust me, that won't happen.

I pinky promise!

Thanks for the advice guys and gals. :bow:
 

Amaranthine

Adamant Anti-Nihilist
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Heh, if it comes right down to him, you can always say "You like my butt, I like your gut. Any questions?"

Less flippantly....I told my wife, back when we were first dating, that I'd rather not be touching bone, and later the whole 'I have no trouble with you at any size, you will always be beautiful to me' bit (which is totally true). But like you, I didn't go into my feeding fantasies. I was pretty sure she did not share them, so telling her seemed to me to have not much upside and some potential downsides. I'm not sure that sharing everything is always a good idea. You are the person who is there, you have to decide what is right for you and your relationship.
I'd have to say that I agree with that, because it really depends on the people an the relationship. It can go either way. Some people might have a bit of trouble taking in all the information, and if it's not hurting anyone (or bothering you exceptionally,) it might be best not to mention it. But, there are cases where even if the person doesn't share your interests, they might feel hurt that you weren't comfortable enough to tell them. It can never be easy >.<
 

Buffetbelly

Nosh, destroyer of snacks
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My gal and I are mutual gainers, although I am about three times her size. She has a very hard time gaining. She will nearly keep up with me, bite for bite, in a feeding session and I will put on three pounds and she will put on none, or even lose a pound! Very crazy. But the trying is where all the fun is! :smitten::eat1:
 

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