How do you handle compliments in your relationships?

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BigChaz

His Eggy Roundness
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I was about to say how this was perfect and how it should be, but then I realized that on nearly a daily basis I tell my lady-companion that I love her ass and her legs; I tell her she's amazing and talented and smart and beautiful and that I want to show her off to the world, but her ass and legs always get thrown in there.

I'm such a douche objectifier :(
Does she complain?
 

SitiTomato

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I definitely void fat related compliments in my relationship. My guy is well aware that I love how he looks, but I feel like pointing it out all the time would make him feel objectified. He is already self conscious and I don't want to make things worse. I just tell him he is handsome, adorable, sexy, etc, all of which are true.
Again, don't take me as the arbiter of normalcy here but I've never had a problem with being objectified when in a well rounded relationship. I see it as a part of the package, physical attraction isn't second to loving their personality, it's on even footing. You need both.

So in my book go ahead and compliment his body or her ass everyday or every time you think about it. If you love them as a person it's perfectly fine to ALSO love them as a piece of meat. Not wanting to mention it could lead you down a path where you start to feel guilty about loving them for their body and that's no good. :p
 

FishCharming

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i dont care what it meant to you but if anyone called me a fat fuck it would be immediately followed by me calling them a dumb cunt... soooo, there's that...
 

SanDiega

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I was about to say how this was perfect and how it should be, but then I realized that on nearly a daily basis I tell my lady-companion that I love her ass and her legs; I tell her she's amazing and talented and smart and beautiful and that I want to show her off to the world, but her ass and legs always get thrown in there.

I'm such a douche objectifier :(
No no no, please don't feel bad. This is specific to my relationship with my guy. I dont kind getting compliments on my looks, but then again, I feel good about how I look. This is mostly because my guy is not entirely comfortable with his weight, and so I don't feel like I should bring it up all the time.

Again, don't take me as the arbiter of normalcy here but I've never had a problem with being objectified when in a well rounded relationship. I see it as a part of the package, physical attraction isn't second to loving their personality, it's on even footing. You need both.

So in my book go ahead and compliment his body or her ass everyday or every time you think about it. If you love them as a person it's perfectly fine to ALSO love them as a piece of meat. Not wanting to mention it could lead you down a path where you start to feel guilty about loving them for their body and that's no good. :p
Oh, I give him plenty of compliments. He knows I find him oppressively sexy. It is more a matter of "you are so sexy and strong" vs "your giant fat belly is so hot".
 

MaryElizabethAntoinette

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i dont care what it meant to you but if anyone called me a fat fuck it would be immediately followed by me calling them a dumb cunt... soooo, there's that...
Makes sense, since you don't have the kind of fetish relationship that some of us do. What's okay for one person is totally not okay for another, which is why we're all different people.

But come on dude, did you really need to bring that up and essentially hint at the fact that you are calling both me and SlightlyMorbid "dumb cunts"? :rolleyes:

I certainly don't appreciate that, especially since I've never personally attacked anything you've said.
 

theronin23

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i dont care what it meant to you but if anyone called me a fat fuck it would be immediately followed by me calling them a dumb cunt... soooo, there's that...
I mean, I think dumb cunt's a little extreme for EVERY situation where that happens. Granted, I have this kind of personal thing where, "Hey, 90% of the time I'm the only one who gets to point out I'm a fat fuck, and the other 10% know they have that privilege and don't abuse it." The 90% gets me tearing into them like a pound of bacon if they try something, but the 10% tends to get me tacking on something to their comment.

Self-deprecation is an artform.
 

FishCharming

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Makes sense, since you don't have the kind of fetish relationship that some of us do. What's okay for one person is totally not okay for another, which is why we're all different people.

But come on dude, did you really need to bring that up and essentially hint at the fact that you are calling both me and SlightlyMorbid "dumb cunts"? :rolleyes:

I certainly don't appreciate that, especially since I've never personally attacked anything you've said.
i get that you guys have different relationship dynamics and i really wasnt trying to be snarky to you guys, i was trying to come up with a comparative level of insult for me, personally. i brought it up because while it may not be insulting to chris and hobbit it is for me and i'd prefer that the op heard all opinions before running out and calling her SO a fat fuck, lol
 

MaryElizabethAntoinette

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xFloggingMaryx,
i get that you guys have different relationship dynamics and i really wasnt trying to be snarky to you guys, i was trying to come up with a comparative level of insult for me, personally. i brought it up because while it may not be insulting to chris and hobbit it is for me and i'd prefer that the op heard all opinions before running out and calling her SO a fat fuck, lol
Hence, in my original post, I mentioned the fact that my boyfriend enjoys his size, which is in stark contrast to what the OP said her boyfriend felt.

Because of that obvious fact... I highly doubt my original post was going to inspire her to run off and call her boyfriend a "fat fuck".



Also, I was explaining my unique relationship. Basically explaining how we talk dirty. By saying that Chris enjoys me calling him that (in fact, it was his idea to begin with) doesn't have anything to do with how you would react if someone called you that.
In fact, I would NEVER say something insulting like that to anyone who wasn't completely comfortable with it.

So your rude and insulting response was unnecessary.

You got away with calling me a "dumb cunt" and I really don't appreciate that. Especially when I would never insult you like that.
 

FishCharming

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Hence, in my original post, I mentioned the fact that my boyfriend enjoys his size, which is in stark contrast to what the OP said her boyfriend felt.

Because of that obvious fact... I highly doubt my original post was going to inspire her to run off and call her boyfriend a "fat fuck".



Also, I was explaining my unique relationship. Basically explaining how we talk dirty. By saying that Chris enjoys me calling him that (in fact, it was his idea to begin with) doesn't have anything to do with how you would react if someone called you that.
In fact, I would NEVER say something insulting like that to anyone who wasn't completely comfortable with it.

So your rude and insulting response was unnecessary.

You got away with calling me a "dumb cunt" and I really don't appreciate that. Especially when I would never insult you like that.
in case you haven't noticed i'm more of a call you a dumb cunt to your face kind of person but if you dont believe my intentions that's fine, i'm not going to beg for your forgiveness for taking personal offense to something that wasnt meant as an attack.
 

MaryElizabethAntoinette

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xFloggingMaryx,
in case you haven't noticed i'm more of a call you a dumb cunt to your face kind of person but if you dont believe my intentions that's fine, i'm not going to beg for your forgiveness for taking personal offense to something that wasnt meant as an attack.
I wasn't even asking for an apology, although it would be nice.

I just said I was insulted by you calling me a "dumb cunt". And your response is to continue to attack me.

To be completely honest, I've been going through a lot of shit. And this really is the last thing I need.

I'm really sorry if my original comment bothered you. It wasn't my intention.

But mentally I can't handle this.
 

Zowie

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I think what Fish meant, Mary, is, if someone would throw something he considered an insult at his face (fat-fuck, in this case), he would respond by throwing an insult back in theirs (dumb cunt).


I don't think in anyway he was personally attacking you, or SM. He was voicing his opinion on what he would do in that situation.


Deep breaths, and smiles all around. :)
 

MaryElizabethAntoinette

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xFloggingMaryx,
I think what Fish meant, Mary, is, if someone would throw something he considered an insult at his face (fat-fuck, in this case), he would respond by throwing an insult back in theirs (dumb cunt).


I don't think in anyway he was personally attacking you, or SM. He was voicing his opinion on what he would do in that situation.


Deep breaths, and smiles all around. :)
Hehe yeah, it's cool. We've gotten it all ironed out now.
 
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It took Escapist 3 years to accept being my "Big Juicy"/"Big Sexy"/"Thickums". However, he only accepted it after I explained that even when he has a 10% body fat he is still going to be big ass mothereffer compared to the general population.
 

Geodetic_Effect

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i get that you guys have different relationship dynamics and i really wasnt trying to be snarky to you guys, i was trying to come up with a comparative level of insult for me, personally. i brought it up because while it may not be insulting to chris and hobbit it is for me and i'd prefer that the op heard all opinions before running out and calling her SO a fat fuck, lol
I think she should call him a fat fuck, and if he has a problem with it, tell him to stop being a little bitch.
 

Buffetbelly

Nosh, destroyer of snacks
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I love how some of the most potentially embarrassing moments in my life can be a turn on for her. For example, I destroy flimsy folding chairs everywhere we go. :( In the past I might have been mortified, but it's great to have someone at my side who's turned on when I bend a metal chair and will squeal "Oh my god, you are so fat honey!" :wubu:
 

BLK360

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I've never had a problem accepting compliments. Some of the girls I have dated have though. And usually, I tend to be kind of an asshole about it, continually complimenting them until they get used to it. Sometimes people just need to be told enough, eventually they accept you're not just being nice, you're being serious.
 

theronin23

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Fuck...I knew SOMEONE would come in here and make this creepy. I hate when I'm proven right. (Not you BLK, don't worry.)
 
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