How prevalent are FA's?

[UberAris]

There's also a possibility few have considered; the approach. I'd say I'm an 'out and out' FA, but I'm also shy. If I'm interested in some one I'll try to get to know them, but the last thing I'd do, is bluntly go up and hit on them. I never thought that worked well or made anyone comfortable. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if a guy (politely) came up and said he was an FA? Kinda makes things awkward. Plus, this is supposedly the modern age, girls can help too. You never know, just giving a guy a small opening might be all he needs.

Needs training wheels for his tongue,
--Littleghost

Yeah I agree with ya, I too can be shy sometimes when I see an intrest, but when i finaly work up the nerve, I usialy just try to talk to the girl at first, then if she seems intrested, take it a step further. That usialy what works for me.

 

[charlie]

Would it be too rash to say that in general its the "guys fault". I rarely see the same in reverse, if a gal likes a big guy, she dates him, rarely does she seem to have the hang-ups that guys have with big girls.

 

[Jane]

I've always thought most men were much more bothered by peer pressure than most women. It must be that "team" thing.

 

[TraciJo67]

I am distinguishing between timidity and confidence, not timidity and arrogance here, although I understand your point.

You see I probably come off as arrogant on these forums but I am modest person. Many people lack confidence because they actually ARE pathetic. They know they can be better people but fail to take the steps needed to implement this change. I just hate seeing all these FAs who do the whole community a disservice because they are too afraid to approach fat women. This in turn just perpetuates the fat girl's lack of confidence because no one approaches her, which in turn makes her unapproachable and the cycle repeats itself.

I see a few flaws in your logic here.

First, you aren't responsible for my self esteem (speaking generally here). And I do not base my self esteem on how often I'm approached. I also own some responsibility for letting someone know that I am interested, if that is the case.

Lots of people need encouragement in order to approach someone they find attractive. If I were single, I know I would - I'd be looking for cues, both verbal & non; even then, I'm pretty risk aversive, and I'd have to be pretty damn interested to take the risk. That's not pathetic, and .... well, unkind thoughts headed your way, if you think otherwise

Finally, what makes you think that fat women lack confidence? And what makes you think that, if this is true of some fat women, you have any responsibility for "fixing" that?

 

[pickleman357]

I'm a very proud FA.

Very proud. When my buddies are oogling this toothpick that went by, I'll litteraly say, "Pft, what's so hot about a washing board?" Or;
"I want ribs on my plate, not my woman"
"Why not just hump a mop? Same feeling, but you don't have to talk to it afterwards"
"I'd break her in two!"
etc.

Yes, this might seem harsh.... but concidering ALL of the negitive comments that have been uttered about BBWs, they had it coming.


And I have this suggestion for all the BBWs out there looking for FAs. Be f***ing proud that your fat. At least to me, nothing is more of a turn off then a woman who's ashamed of her body when I know she's absolutly beautiful in her big, soft body.

Be who you are and be proud of it, and you will find a guy that likes or even you, just the way you are.

 

[TraciJo67]

I'm a very proud FA.

Very proud. When my buddies are oogling this toothpick that went by, I'll litteraly say, "Pft, what's so hot about a washing board?" Or;
"I want ribs on my plate, not my woman"
"Why not just hump a mop? Same feeling, but you don't have to talk to it afterwards"
"I'd break her in two!"
etc.

Yes, this might seem harsh.... but concidering ALL of the negitive comments that have been uttered about BBWs, they had it coming.


And I have this suggestion for all the BBWs out there looking for FAs. Be f***ing proud that your fat. At least to me, nothing is more of a turn off then a woman who's ashamed of her body when I know she's absolutly beautiful in her big, soft body.

Be who you are and be proud of it, and you will find a guy that likes or even you, just the way you are.

Thin women have nothing to do with any negative comments that may be made by insensitive louts who call themselves men. For that reason, your insults towards them are .... well, insensitive. Lout-like.

 

[pickleman357]

Thin women have nothing to do with any negative comments that may be made by insensitive louts who call themselves men. For that reason, your insults towards them are .... well, insensitive. Lout-like.

So, no thin woman has ever said something bad about a fat woman?

I never insult women because of the way they look. Never. This whole thing is about size acceptance is that we all should accept people the way they are. Fat, thin, chunky, whatever.

I still think thin women are beautiful. They just don't do it for me.

I just like to get across the point that I prefer larger women and I'm not shy about it.
The whole fat acceptance movement can use all the positive publicity it can get!

 

[TraciJo67]

So, no thin woman has ever said something bad about a fat woman?

We're talking about two separate issues here. You seemed to imply that it was OK to insult thin women becuase you're accustomed to hearing other men say unflattering things about fat women. To me, the issue isn't about what other women think or say -- it's about it not being OK to make rude comments about anyone, fat or thin. But then again, you did a good job of saying the same thing below

I never insult women because of the way they look. Never. This whole thing is about size acceptance is that we all should accept people the way they are. Fat, thin, chunky, whatever.

I still think thin women are beautiful. They just don't do it for me.

I just like to get across the point that I prefer larger women and I'm not shy about it.
The whole fat acceptance movement can use all the positive publicity it can get!

 

[pickleman357]

We're talking about two separate issues here. You seemed to imply that it was OK to insult thin women becuase you're accustomed to hearing other men say unflattering things about fat women. To me, the issue isn't about what other women think or say -- it's about it not being OK to make rude comments about anyone, fat or thin. But then again, you did a good job of saying the same thing below

Alright, can you define what you concider a 'rude comment' is?

And if stating that I don't like thin women is rude, I'm open to suggestions on how to go about showing that I do not like thin women in that way, when the guys around me are drooling over them.

I'm really bad with words, so really, help would definatly be welcomed

 

[TraciJo67]

Alright, can you define what you concider a 'rude comment' is?

And if stating that I don't like thin women is rude, I'm open to suggestions on how to go about showing that I do not like thin women in that way, when the guys around me are drooling over them.

I'm really bad with words, so really, help would definatly be welcomed

You said, when talking with your buddies, this is how you discuss thin women:

"Pft, what's so hot about a washing board?" Or;
"I want ribs on my plate, not my woman"
"Why not just hump a mop? Same feeling, but you don't have to talk to it afterwards"
"I'd break her in two!"
etc.

I don't mean to act as if you've committed the worse sin in the world here. It's just that (in my opinion) I don't see a moral difference between making fun of fat women vs. making fun of thin women.

Though I know that your remarks above were probably more intended for humor. I don't think you are unkind at all, and I don't mean to imply any differently.

BTW -- stating that you aren't sexually attracted to thin women is quite different than saying that you'd just as soon hump a mop, don'tcha think?

 

[pickleman357]

BTW -- stating that you aren't sexually attracted to thin women is quite different than saying that you'd just as soon hump a mop, don'tcha think?

LOL, Well, when you put it that way, yeah you're right


So what do you suggest? I'm not going to be all laywerish and say "I do not find that woman sexually attractive, but I am not saying that she is ugly by making this statement and I still believe she is a pretty woman." every time.

I mean, I've been thinking about this. How can you compliment a woman, or say she's not my type, without coming off as rude or look like you're trying pick her up?

 

[Gil3]

Hello,

I am brand new to this Board/Forum and so excited to have found Dimensions and this site. Up until recently, I had no idea there were men who actually found BBW's attractive.

So, just a quick question... how prevalent are FA's? Could I be working next to one right now? Or are they just a scarce percentage of the population.

I know this is a difficult question to answer, and maybe some of you guys have a better idea than us women will.

Thanks for the info.

I've been a FA for as long as I can remember. I'm not going to lie..Even though I find some thinner women very beautiful (Eva Mendes, Catherine Zeta Jones ), I am insanely attracted to BBWs, and that's what I prefer. Yes, BBWS are more appealing to me in every way. I'll admit, society has tried to condition us all to think that this is wrong, and I even questioned myself at some point when I was younger. Nonetheless, I blew it off, and have no shame in my preferences. There is nothing more beautiful than a BBW, and even moreso, one who is comfortable with herself. Before I met my current gal, who is a wonderful person and BBW, BTW, I was sitting in a bookstore, and three women sat at a table not too far from me, and one was a BBW, and the other two were thin. I kept looking at the BBW , and one of the women asked me what was wrong. I said "your friend is very attractive". She said "oh, you mean her". meaning her other thin friend, and I said "no, Her", the BBW. She didn't expect that, but there was no harm intended.

So sure, we are out here. Some are upfront about their FA, and others keep it hidden.

 

[TraciJo67]

I'm not going to be all laywerish and say "I do not find that woman sexually attractive, but I am not saying that she is ugly by making this statement and I still believe she is a pretty woman." every time.

Why the hell not? I think you should print up some quick-reference disclaimers as well. Better yet, save a tree & wear it on a t-shirt

I'm not the morality police - really, I wish I hadn't brought it up at all. We all say things with our friends that we would not publicly share. I have a male coworker with an obvious physical condition that older men are frequently known for (lets just say he appears to be carrying a sack of grapefruit in his pants) and I would absolutely die if he knew of some of the remarks I've laughed at & jokes I've contributed to that are at his expense.

The thing is, it's pretty obvious that you don't mean to be insulting, you're just having fun with your friends while getting a point across to them.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hump a mop

 

[bellylover]

I think FA’s are more prevalent than you think. The problem is: they are difficult to spot. Everyone recognizes a BBW when he sees one, but how do you know whether that man that you just crossed is an FA? I’ll come back to that later.

It is important to differentiate between FA’s. I would say there are at least 4 categories:
* in the closet – they will not date a BBW. They are too shy or too concerned with social pressure. They might even be denying it to themselves. To comply with social pressure, they might also be making negative comments on BBWs
* in between – they are ready to date BBWs, but might need a little push. When they are in group with friends, they would probably not go and approach the BBW in the disco. They might keep their relationship in the beginning rather low profile towards the outside world. Or they might start with a chubby girl and then gradually heavier.
* out the closet – they have no problem dating a BBW. They might not tell the entire world they are an FA, but when they find the right girl, they have no problem starting a relationship with a BBW.
* “open” – they have no problem telling the world they are an FA.

But all of this is relative. An FA might be out of the closet for dating mid-size BBWs, but not yet for SSBBWs, even if a SSBBW is his preferred body type. This scale also slides: usually, the older we FA’s grow, the more we come out of the closet. Someone I knew was always commenting on bigger girls, but when I met him several years later, he was with a nice BBW girlfriend!

Seriously, if I would go back to university, I would study sociology and I would make my thesis about FA’s, because this is something that we really need: a good sociology study on FA’s. A good objective study on this subject would really bring this subject to the people’s attention and make it socially much more acceptable. Many people would be surprised to see how many of us are out there (or even surprised to see there are any). It could also be a good confidence boost for both BBWs and FA’s.

Voidhead, I find your comments really disrespectful. Your attitude will only make unconfident BBWs feel even less confident.

 

[UberAris]

I think FA’s are more prevalent than you think. The problem is: they are difficult to spot.

Hmm you have a point.. maybe we should make like a special code sign to say "Hey! I'm an FA!!!"

 

[MsGreenLantern]

yeah, I like that idea Aris. Signs, you all need signs.

Its like...walking around on campus I KNOW some guys are FAs, but they are with a group of friends who would belittle them for it. Its sooo common at my school for guys to be closeted in this issue. I'm pretty sure the only openly FA guys I've seen here have been untraditionals (30ish and above) or really confident seniors.

 

[UberAris]

See I was lucky that way, I had a bunch of friends that knew my prefrance, and said nothing bad about it... hell one of my friends even set me up on a date or 2

 

[ChickletsBBW]

I don't mean to discourage you, but they seem to be pretty rare. (The good thing is, of course, that they are out there! )

Then there is the issue of finding one that hasn't had sex with every fat woman in your geographical area (this is important to me - may not be to you, in which case your search will be easier).

But yes, there could be one working right next to you.

*laughs* ok moonvine.. i gotta bite on this one.. lol
I can't help but keep wondering if you're basically referring to someone *I* used to date here in Austin *laughs* that you and I both know?
seriously.. it's funny (and sad) cuz you're right lol
There seem to be more bbw admirers in San Antonio these days.. however i'd say about 4 years ago there were MANY more here in Austin.. they seem to have dwindled away although I do talk to a UT hottie once in a while.. however.. they're still in the closet (of course)

 

[pickleman357]

* “open” – they have no problem telling the world they are an FA.

Seriously, if I would go back to university, I would study sociology and I would make my thesis about FA’s, because this is something that we really need: a good sociology study on FA’s. A good objective study on this subject would really bring this subject to the people’s attention and make it socially much more acceptable. Many people would be surprised to see how many of us are out there (or even surprised to see there are any). It could also be a good confidence boost for both BBWs and FA’s.

If you ever do taht thesis, make sure you drop me a line a get my 2 cents. I would love to help because I'm definatly in the "open" catagory.... maybe a little too much :doh:

 

[moonvine]

*laughs* ok moonvine.. i gotta bite on this one.. lol
I can't help but keep wondering if you're basically referring to someone *I* used to date here in Austin *laughs* that you and I both know?
seriously.. it's funny (and sad) cuz you're right lol
There seem to be more bbw admirers in San Antonio these days.. however i'd say about 4 years ago there were MANY more here in Austin.. they seem to have dwindled away although I do talk to a UT hottie once in a while.. however.. they're still in the closet (of course)

I don't think I am referring to that person. I went on one date with that person and he didn't care for me at all and certainly didn't try to have sex with me. At least I think it was that person.

I'm more thinking of one guy who is heavily into Renfaires..and well, almost all of them really. Except Lew, who is awesome but too old for me.
He is the only FA I have EVER met in Austin, BTW. And I've lived here 7 years now. My last bf did live here, but he moved here from San Antonio.