Sandie_Zitkus
In Rememberance
Some of you are saying "DUH". Well, sometimes it takes something horrible happening for you to really see something in yourself. Losing the best friend I ever had did that for me recently. I contributed to that friendship ending by being vicious. It's hard to admit that - but I did. It took me some time to understand that and I wish I could tell my friend how much I have learned about myself recently but I can't. But I realized I'm mean when I feel threatened or insecure or attacked. It's not pretty and I am not proud of my behavior. I am doing my best to recognize what's happening before I jump. I know it's going to take time but I feel like this anger issue is another issue that still connects my to my family. My parents were both quick with a slap or a verbal assault and my dad was quick with a kick as well. I am just realizing how deep this goes and how long I have been alienating people with this temper. Which also feeds into my lack of self-esteem - it keeps people away.
Anyway. Why am I posting this here instead of the clubhouse where I would normally post this? I felt a need to let people know who might not have access to the clubhouse - I'm working on it. It's gonna take time, but I'm getting "it".
I do love this place and all the people here.:wubu:
Anyway. Why am I posting this here instead of the clubhouse where I would normally post this? I felt a need to let people know who might not have access to the clubhouse - I'm working on it. It's gonna take time, but I'm getting "it".
I do love this place and all the people here.:wubu:
