Hmmm I am not exactly sure how to write this post, if I really should write this post, or what I am trying to do by writing it but here goes....
As of late, I have been confused by my boyfriend and I am seeking some thoughts on this topic.
I know and have known since shortly after I met my boyfriend in person that he accepted me as I am. In fact most of the time he has encouraged me to just be myself and I can tell from his words and his actions that he adores me physically and mentally. The problem that has sometimes cropped up from time to time is my difficulty understanding how someone can truly find a wide variety of peoples physical bodies "hot". He has commented in passing conversations that he finds this person or that persons body 'hot'. Most of the time these 'hot' bodied comments are in regards to thinner women. A lot less often, he might comment that a BBW type of woman looked 'hot' etc....the latest as of last night.....he described Jamie Lee Curtis's body as 'hot'. And for some reason last night, it really finally all caught up to me and I wondered to myself: How can he think Jamie Lee Curtis's body is "hot" but at the same time think my body is "hot". I have to tell you that "Jamie Lee Curtis's body is probably the furthest in comparision to my body. I perceive her body to be taut, cut, muscular, thin, angular and more manly than many female bodies........my body is sooooo sooooo different than that. I was left feeling frustrated and confused. We discussed the issue of how I felt and how he couldnt really explain this 'hot' body stuff to me well enough for me to understand how he can find Jamie Lee Curtis's body "hot" at the same time as finding my body "hot". I just don't get it and he didn't seem to understand why I couldnt.
Please don't get me wrong.....he lavishes attention, kisses, affection, and loving caresses on my body all the time. I told him though, that probably due to my past history of scars from physical beauty perceptions (realistic and unrealistic) that I might have over reacted to this whole thing; however, at the same time, I am left wondering if what his true ideal is....there is such a crevasse of difference. I also expressed to him that when he points out, time and time again in descriptions about who has a 'hot' body, and that the majority of those body types being thin or hollywood type bodies, that it makes me more insecure about my body type and I question more and more if he truly likes my body. I asked him if he would like it if I pointed out a certain body type to be hot that was not any where close to his type of body. He said it wouldnt bother him....I dont believe that.
I know it all probably sounds convoluted in how I express this. I know that usually I am pretty secure in who I am, this time though it really makes me question what is going on in his mind. I can't seem to get it through my head that someone could consider my body hot at the same time as saying a thin woman (stereotypically trophy type bodied) is hot.
Am I confused or is he confused about what is "hot" or has society screwed us all up with this size discrimination? I know rationally that people can find many people attractive...of all shapes and sizes....I guess its just that the majority of the time when he talks about "hot" bodies or"hotties"......they are thinner women.
Give me your thoughts
Thanks
Tara
As of late, I have been confused by my boyfriend and I am seeking some thoughts on this topic.
I know and have known since shortly after I met my boyfriend in person that he accepted me as I am. In fact most of the time he has encouraged me to just be myself and I can tell from his words and his actions that he adores me physically and mentally. The problem that has sometimes cropped up from time to time is my difficulty understanding how someone can truly find a wide variety of peoples physical bodies "hot". He has commented in passing conversations that he finds this person or that persons body 'hot'. Most of the time these 'hot' bodied comments are in regards to thinner women. A lot less often, he might comment that a BBW type of woman looked 'hot' etc....the latest as of last night.....he described Jamie Lee Curtis's body as 'hot'. And for some reason last night, it really finally all caught up to me and I wondered to myself: How can he think Jamie Lee Curtis's body is "hot" but at the same time think my body is "hot". I have to tell you that "Jamie Lee Curtis's body is probably the furthest in comparision to my body. I perceive her body to be taut, cut, muscular, thin, angular and more manly than many female bodies........my body is sooooo sooooo different than that. I was left feeling frustrated and confused. We discussed the issue of how I felt and how he couldnt really explain this 'hot' body stuff to me well enough for me to understand how he can find Jamie Lee Curtis's body "hot" at the same time as finding my body "hot". I just don't get it and he didn't seem to understand why I couldnt.
Please don't get me wrong.....he lavishes attention, kisses, affection, and loving caresses on my body all the time. I told him though, that probably due to my past history of scars from physical beauty perceptions (realistic and unrealistic) that I might have over reacted to this whole thing; however, at the same time, I am left wondering if what his true ideal is....there is such a crevasse of difference. I also expressed to him that when he points out, time and time again in descriptions about who has a 'hot' body, and that the majority of those body types being thin or hollywood type bodies, that it makes me more insecure about my body type and I question more and more if he truly likes my body. I asked him if he would like it if I pointed out a certain body type to be hot that was not any where close to his type of body. He said it wouldnt bother him....I dont believe that.
I know it all probably sounds convoluted in how I express this. I know that usually I am pretty secure in who I am, this time though it really makes me question what is going on in his mind. I can't seem to get it through my head that someone could consider my body hot at the same time as saying a thin woman (stereotypically trophy type bodied) is hot.
Am I confused or is he confused about what is "hot" or has society screwed us all up with this size discrimination? I know rationally that people can find many people attractive...of all shapes and sizes....I guess its just that the majority of the time when he talks about "hot" bodies or"hotties"......they are thinner women.
Give me your thoughts
Thanks
Tara
