Where do I start? So I am 37m with a wife and son. I knew at a young age I was a FA/feeder but pushed my desires down and continued on living a “normal” life. Got married had a kid and so on. As time went on my desire for what I really want has become almost unbearable. Ie be with a ssbbw feedee who shares not only the same interests sexually but is a match for me on other levels as well. My wife and I fight a lot and have a very poor sexual life. She is aware of my desires but does not care and kind of bushes them off. My sexual attraction is to really big women and I can’t get around it. I have since being seeing a ssbbw feedee secretly behind my wife’s back. I feel awful about it. Like really shitty but I have to know if that is what I really want. As to this point I share a lot with this other woman and have the same sexual desires and goals. She is aware of my situation but bc we mesh so well together she also wants to see how things turn out in the end for us. I am just so lost between being Truly happy and breaking up my marriage. I just don’t know what to do.