Meant to be Single?

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Sweetie

Where is the Love?
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Has anyone else here wondered if they were just meant to be single? I see some people who are never NOT in a relationship and then some who never seem to be able to hold on to one. I used to think there was something wrong with ME because my marriage failed and recently (in less than three years) two engagements ended really badly (due to infidelity on THEIR parts). Now I wonder if perhaps I'm just one of those people who's meant to be on their own. Any thoughts?
 

EMH1701

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I have always wondered that. I've dated but none of them have worked out. Maybe I'm just too independent-minded.
 

Pandasaur

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Everyday of my life!! I have never even had a boyfriend and finally lost my first kiss this summer because I didn't want to turn 25 without having one. I have been on a few dates but all were online and was sooooooo weird.

I don't think anyone is actually meant to be single, its just bad experiences or the wrong timing...at least thats what I tell myself when I get sad and take myself on dates
 

Sweetie

Where is the Love?
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I have always wondered that. I've dated but none of them have worked out. Maybe I'm just too independent-minded.

I've thought the same about myself. I also realize that I have a very low tolerance for abuse since I've been away from my husband. I just won't tolerate being treated with less respect and love that I give. I think that's a really good thing that I've changed in that way. :)
 

Shinobi_Hime-Sama

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I had one real boyfriend before my current one, I wasted eight years on him and lost most of my 20's waiting for him to pop the question. I was alone for two years after we broke up and was getting to the point of just giving up, then I met my current boyfriend. You can bet that during those two years I was constantly wondering if I was meant to be single and alone forever.
 

Sweetie

Where is the Love?
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Everyday of my life!! I have never even had a boyfriend and finally lost my first kiss this summer because I didn't want to turn 25 without having one. I have been on a few dates but all were online and was sooooooo weird.

I don't think anyone is actually meant to be single, its just bad experiences or the wrong timing...at least thats what I tell myself when I get sad and take myself on dates

I see my son having all of his relationships ONLINE. He's 20. I just started meeting people online in the end of 2009. It's very different from actually meeting someone while out. I like the online thing in the way that it allows me to talk to people that I'd never meet in real life AND because I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY SHY, but I think its a little limiting. It's very different these days from when I was young. Its got good things and bad things. I guess I'll have to adapt to ONLINE and you young people will perhaps need to make a little more effort to get OUT THERE. We'll figure it out eventually. (I hope). :)
 

TwilightStarr

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I've been thinking about this a lot lately! And I think it's true for me too, but who knows?! :/
 

Sweetie

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I think part of my thought process is this: perhaps the universe knows that I'll be ok on my own? I don't know. I don't think I'm a hard person to get along with, but maybe I am. :confused:
 

bbwlibrarian

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In Catholicism, perpetual singledom is considered a calling, based on what is said in Matthew 19:12 (eunuchs for the sake of The Kingdom). This refers to the choice of celibacy, not celibacy against one's will--given that the lust one has for other people, if such lust exists, can be contained. (This is also distinct from the celibacy of the religious, where the call to an order implies this requirement.)

None of us are truly meant to be celibate out of frustration, however.

If companionship with another person is truly your heart's desire, there is no reason to give up on it. Doing so will only leave you bitter and unhappy. The Universe wants us to be fulfilled. Perhaps The Universe is preparing you for a relationship better and stronger than you can even imagine!

However, if you examine yourself further, you might find that you did not really want someone else at all. Some of us seek relationships because it is expected of us, or we are envious of the happiness of another person--not realizing that personal happiness is usually independent of relationship status. You have to find out why you want to be in a relationship before truly discerning that you are meant to be alone.

Don't automatically assume it is your personality that is at issue--although, I could never discourage someone from working on themselves. Remember that some of the most unpleasant people are happily married. There is always someone out there for us, so long as we don't give up.
 

Sweetie

Where is the Love?
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In Catholicism, perpetual singledom is considered a calling, based on what is said in Matthew 19:12 (eunuchs for the sake of The Kingdom). This refers to the choice of celibacy, not celibacy against one's will--given that the lust one has for other people, if such lust exists, can be contained. (This is also distinct from the celibacy of the religious, where the call to an order implies this requirement.)

None of us are truly meant to be celibate out of frustration, however.

If companionship with another person is truly your heart's desire, there is no reason to give up on it. Doing so will only leave you bitter and unhappy. The Universe wants us to be fulfilled. Perhaps The Universe is preparing you for a relationship better and stronger than you can even imagine!

However, if you examine yourself further, you might find that you did not really want someone else at all. Some of us seek relationships because it is expected of us, or we are envious of the happiness of another person--not realizing that personal happiness is usually independent of relationship status. You have to find out why you want to be in a relationship before truly discerning that you are meant to be alone.

Don't automatically assume it is your personality that is at issue--although, I could never discourage someone from working on themselves. Remember that some of the most unpleasant people are happily married. There is always someone out there for us, so long as we don't give up.

The bolded part especially caught me. I find that I do sometimes wonder if its worth the effort. I like companionship, to love and be loved, sex of course, but I'm not sure about being able to give the effort that's required to keep that all going. Sometimes I really do just want to be alone. I'm just processing all that's happened in the past few years and my entire life as a whole. Its strange, I find that the older I get the less sure I am about things. When I was younger things were so much more black and white, or clear. That's why I love visiting the boards here. I'm learning so much about different people, places, types of relationships...its all very fascinating to me. :happy:
 

bbwlibrarian

possibly revolutionary
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Sometimes I really do just want to be alone.

I can understand that, truly. I may not have been served up the same buffet of crap, but I have been through the ringer in recent times. Being alone is glorious when that is what you want.

What might help you discern what you truly want for the long haul is to take a break from that part of your life and focus on other things. I've been doing just that over the past year and a half, and I don't think I'm quite done yet... but I have made quite a lot of progress. So far, I can say that it really helps to develop a clearer picture of what you want out of life, fosters a stronger sense of self, and gives you the chance to discover the traits that you want...and don't want...out of another person. After all, how can you know yourself if you do not spend time with yourself?

I can't say that it's convinced me to give up on love, but it has convinced me that the right person will enter my life when he is supposed to. Besides, the best relationships are developed by chance.
 

HDANGEL15

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I have been on a few dates but all were online and was sooooooo weird.

I see my son having all of his relationships ONLINE. He's 20. I just started meeting people online in the end of 2009. It's very different from actually meeting someone while out. I like the online thing in the way that it allows me to talk to people that I'd never meet in real life AND because I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY SHY, but I think its a little limiting. It's very different these days from when I was young. Its got good things and bad things. I guess I'll have to adapt to ONLINE and you young people will perhaps need to make a little more effort to get OUT THERE. We'll figure it out eventually. (I hope). :)

Dates ONLINE :confused:...I am not sure what this even means.....?
Curious though...is this skyping and considered a *relationship* or *date*
 

bmann0413

PLAYER ONE READY! START!
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bmann0413,
Dates ONLINE :confused:...I am not sure what this even means.....?
Curious though...is this skyping and considered a *relationship* or *date*

I honestly don't know, but I do hear the term "Skype dates" thrown around a lot. So I guess it is? I hear it's somewhat good for people in LDRs.
 

Miskatonic

Advanced Killbot
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I'm not sure if I'm meant to be single, but I'm positive that now is not the right time in my life for me to be seeking out a new relationship. I have too much going on and I have too much other stuff to focus on currently.
 

x0emnem0x

Words.
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Lately I feel that way... I have a boyfriend and I love him but all the time I'm wondering if it'll work out. I was single for 5 years before I started dating him but 5 years is a long time and I was like yeah I'm so ready to date again! But now I'm just like ahh maybe being single wasn't so bad... It sucks in general cause we're in a long distance relationship (800 miles, yes long distance, yes we've met) and it's only 1 of 3 serious relationships I've had. I've only dated a few guys, and it's like none of them work out or I'm just not comfortable enough to be with someone... Sometimes I wonder if I should even be in a relationship.
 

crosseyedhamster

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Watching House marathon, had something to say I quite liked.

"People who avoid commitment are the people who know how big it is."
 

spiritangel

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You know I have had periods of life where I wonder about this.

I am happy to have a relationship as long as it is a happy and healthy one for both people involved.

I dont want one just for the sake of having one or to have someone around as such.

I tend to just make the most of where I am at if it happens awesome (I am missing kisses and snuggling and a myriad of other couply things atm) but in the meantime I have the time to be selfish and create and do my own thing and that is good to :)
 

CarlaSixx

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I often think I'm just meant to be single. But it's really just because relationships scare me. I'm afraid of not being able to stick it out for a lifetime. Or that I may end up liking someone else, too. Relationships are a big deal, and I worry I'm too messed up to ever really be in a serious one or not.
 

dharmabean

♥ ɢrÃ¥тıтuɗɛ
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I can say that I'm in a relationship, and I spend more time wishing I was single. I am not sure I enjoy being with someone. I like the freedom of coming and going. I like the freedom to read all night if I choose. I like the freedom of going to a girlfriends house without questions.

:: shrug ::

I think I'm meant to be single.
 

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