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On the Couch - by Caliban (~~BBW, Stuffing)

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Rondeurs

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~~BBW, Stuffing - A humorous take on the FA as a psychiatrist.

On the Couch


by Caliban



And what seems to be the trouble, Mrs. van der Pouten?

Oh doctor, can’t you see? I’m so fat. Just look at me, I wobble when I move. My thighs have got so big I can barely squeeze them past each other...

Yes, that must be very inconvenient.

Oh it is, but that’s not the trouble. Though I must admit it makes me awfully lazy. I hardly lift a finger for myself these days. But then I have servants to look after me, I don’t really have to walk about much. And of course I don’t have to work for a living...

It is very good to have independent means. If one could... There is an area of research I should very much like... but I digress. You were explaining what the trouble is.

Well, I keep getting fatter and fatter, you see. My, er, hips simply ooze over the seat of my chair when I sit down at table... look, they’re almost too big for your couch! And my bosom is so enormous, just look at it, I have to get my, ah, brassières specially made for me...

Ah – I see. But if –excuse me... if we could return to your symptoms?


But that’s what I was telling you about, doctor. How big I’m getting. I have to sit further and further away from the dining-table because my tummy keeps getting bigger.

Indeed? And how does this make you feel?

That’s the problem, doctor, I... Well, the truth is...

Yes?

The truth is... I like it. I love being fat. I enjoy getting fatter and fatter. I want to grow bigger, because the bigger I am the more I’ll be able to eat. I want to eat, doctor, you don’t know what an appetite I’ve got, I eat and I eat and I eat, till I’m so stuffed I can barely waddle from the dining-room to the bedroom. I’d eat even more if I could. When I see a buffet or a dessert trolley I just want to devour it. At home the servants are constantly restocking the fridge... and I’m constantly emptying it.

Remarkable. So... you desire to eat well and grow very fat but you feel this desire is wrong, thus you feel uncomfortable about giving in to it. Do you feel that it is wrong, this pleasure you so... evidently take in eating and growing fat?

Oh, I think so, doctor, don’t you? Gluttony! One of the seven deadly sins.

Ahem. I fear I am not religious. So... you wish to eat less, to lose weight...

Oh no, you’ve got it all wrong again, doctor. Goodness gracious me! You may be very clever but however can’t you see? Do you remember that song? No, of course I don’t want to eat less and lose weight. I just want to stop feeling guilty about eating too much and getting so fat. I want to make a pig of myself... with a clear conscience...

Ach! Of course! Now I see it! How foolish of me, I was following the orthodox line of inquiry too closely. Always a danger in cases such as yours. Well... if that is your wish, the treatment is simple and efficacious. And fear not, it is quite free of pain, though you may feel some trifling discomfort. On the other hand, you may find parts of it quite enjoyable.

Really, doctor? How wonderful! And when does the treatment start?

Oh, we can begin immediately. It is almost the lunch hour. Will you join me? I know a good restaurant not far from here, where the food is tasty and the portions are generous.



* * *


Goodness, doctor, are you sure this is regular? Having lunch with a patient?

This is the first step of your treatment. Allow me to explain. You wish to go on eating and growing fat, yet you feel guilty about doing so. This guilt arises because the decision to eat, and how much to eat, has always been yours. Today you may eat without that guilt, because I shall determine how much you eat, and when you shall stop. Thus you may guiltlessly eat as much as you want, hoping that my decision regarding how much you should eat coincides with your decision regarding how much you wish to eat.

My, you really are clever, aren’t you? But how will you know what I want to eat?

On this occasion, I shall order and you will eat. In future, if the treatment progresses well, you will be allowed a choice of dishes.


I think that’s cruel. What if I don’t like what you order?

I, like you, am a lover of good food, though I favour quality at the expense of quantity. I think you may trust yourself to me. To commence, I recommend the truffle omelette, which is often exquisite.

Often?

At other times it is merely delicious.



* * *


Oufff... heavens, doctor, I’m stuffed. Look how bloated I am, I can barely sit upright. I’ve been eating for hours, look, there’s no-one left in the place but us.

In fact, the restaurant is now closed. Why do you not recline on this banquette, you will be more comfortable thus.

Yes, doctor. Ooh, that’s better. Not as comfy as your couch, though. Doctor... are you sure it’s ethical for you to feed me so much?

Come, surely you must have eaten more than this in the past?

Not very often. And never in public.

Very good. Another hurdle surmounted – we are already making progress. And now the public has retired. We are alone together.

Yes, doctor?

It is time for your dessert. I believe I see it arriving.

Ooh doctor, a whole dessert trolley! Ooh, just look, it’s got eclairs and little cakes and tiramisu and everything. But... but doctor, you’ve already fed me so full... I’ll burst if I try to eat any more!

Believe me, the human stomach is capable of much greater distension than is generally known, especially when it is accustomed to being filled to capacity. You will merely grow somewhat uncomfortably tight. This is the discomfort I referred to earlier. Fear not, in case of emergency, I have the necessary equipment in my bag.

You mean... I can eat the whole trolley?

No. I mean you must eat the whole trolley.


* * *


It is time to leave, I fear. The staff will soon be returning for the evening opening.


Ouwwww... help me doctor, I can’t move.

Of course you can move, you are a fit young woman, what is a burden of fifteen pounds or so? Come, take my arm... see, it was not so difficult to sit up, now try standing... yes, brace yourself, now take my arm again – Ach! You are indeed heavy. Remarkably heavy... and magnificently proportioned, if one may be permitted a personal observation.

Will you... help me... to my car, doctor? I – ouff – I don’t think I... can manage by myself.

Of course. And I shall see you at the same time next week?


Oh, yes doctor... I feel better already. We must continue.
 

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