For those of you that don't know, I had a WLS ten years ago (will be eleven in September) and after seeing Vickie's thread I'd like to tell you my story too. 
I asked Vickie if she minded me doing this, because she's my friend and I don't want her to think I'm trying to one-up her or anything, but (as I knew she would) she said go for it, that everyone's experiences are worthwhile to share. So here goes.
I had my surgery when I was 25, at 374 lbs. It was a roux-en-Y with exclusion/bypass. I was scared to death, but also so very hopeful that it would change my life fundamentally for the better. I had never had a boyfriend and wanted one desperately. I had visions in my mind of boyfriends, and cute clothes...the works. They told me the hazards, risks, and things that made the surgery unsuccessful, but I was so blind, so longing for that life I thought it would give me that I was sure that I'd be able to lose this time. I was sure I'd be able to do what I was supposed to do.
I had never had successes with diets, even though I had tried them all. I'd lose forty pounds or so, then gain it back (plus twenty more) in no time at all. They told me that the surgery would be a tool for me; that it would have several effects that would work in unison to be better than a diet alone. They said I would not be able to handle sugar, and that if I ate it it would make me very ill, and have "dumping," and that I'd only be able to eat a very small volume of any food at all.
For a year I had virtually no sugar, and couldn't eat much at all. I lost over 100lbs. Then I let myself have a candy bar....I had thought it would make me have the dumping syndrome and that it'd teach me a lesson. I ate the candy bar....and nothing. No dumping syndrome. No racing heart, no throwing up, no diarrhea. BIG uh-oh. Suddenly one of my "tools" turned out to be a myth.
One thing they tell you with RNY is that you are not supposed to drink while eating. The thing they don't tell you is that because of how you're rewired, and the juices not going into your stomach how it is now, that you will feel amazing thirst when you eat. I mean...gulp down a huge glass of water thirsty. Kill camels in the desert thirsty. That was one rule I broke from the beginning...I drank while eating. And it hurt so very, very much. I think it had a great deal to do with me stretching my pouch out. And stretch it did. Whereas at first one bite of food would cause me great pain, now I can eat a significant volume...not as much as pre-surgery but a large amount. And still no dumping. I can eat anything sugary, greasy, whatever....and be happy as a clam. The things that do bother my stomach are weird...most cereals (unless I eat them without milk) and a lot of fruits and veggies. In the interest of TMI I won't elaborate, lol. But there you go...both my "tools" were missing or lost.
Anyway....slowly after that first year I started to put the weight I had lost back on. Now I am heavier than I was pre-op. The surgery was unsuccessful for me, and a large part of that is my own fault. But in my defense, I never could stick to a diet long term, and without the "tools" that the surgery was supposed to give me, what else was this, really, than just another diet? It's sort of funny that one of the things they ask you about before the surgery is what diets you've tried and failed at....they want you to have tried lots of them and have them not work, to show that this is a last option for you. It should have showed them that I have never been able to stick to a diet, and without the "tools" of dumping and small pouch size, I'd be unable to do this one too.
People say that fat people who don't stick to diets have poor willpower; but they have no idea what it took for me to lay there and let them prep me for the surgery. I was terrified, and wanted to run away...I didn't know if I would wake up, or if I did what sort of complications I might have. They took out my gall bladder too; it had scarred heavily into my liver and was a devil to remove the surgeon said. My incision was 16" long; I have a large scar that I'm shy about to this day. I woke up after the surgery to the sounds of my own moans. I felt like someone had dropped an anvil on my midsection. Stomach muscles are core muscles, and so many of them had been cut. It was excruciating.
I was on morphine in the hospital, but they sent me home (after four days) with Lortab, a painkiller which gave me hallucinations (mild ones, but they took me off it nonetheless) and I just used Ibuprofen from then on out. I went back and had my staples removed and had some small amount of infection where my belly folded over and the staples touched back to back, which they gave me an oral antibiotic for. I don't know what I would have done without my sister to help me when I got home. I needed help getting in and out of bed, onto and off of the toilet, into and out of the shower (during which I had to sit and wash)...you get the picture. If anyone is considering this surgery I would beg you to keep this in mind if they are opening you all the way like they did me and Vickie. You will need practically 24 hour care for several weeks.
All in all I was very lucky that I didn't have a lot worse complications. I know the horror stories that are out there, and while my surgery was ultimately not successful in regards to weight loss, at least I am not internally crippled or dead. The weight I lost was a good deal of muscle I think; now that I've regained it back it all went to fat. I think I'm more unfit now than I was before the surgery, but perhaps that has more to do with being ten years older, too.
Your love of food doesn't go away. For me I had no deterrent to eating sweets or other "bad" things without the "tools" this surgery was supposed to give me, and my pouch was soon able to take quite a large volume. I think that if you're no good at dieting in the long term than there is a good chance you might be like me and end up right back where you started, or even bigger.
In my mind I liken it a little bit to a sex change operation...it's almost that much of a sea change in your life. You know how they make transsexuals live for a certain amount of time as the opposite sex before they will do the actual sex-reassignment surgery? I think that if you can't live the post-WLS life for a year before you go under the knife, that your chances are lessened that you will be able to stick to it afterwards. Can you pass up sweets? Will you exercise five times a week? It is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card like I so wanted it to be.
My surgery was approximately $40,000. I'm still very fat...more than I was before I had it. If the possible complications or possible death don't scare you, at least let it enter your head that it just plain ol' might not work. I was certain that this time I'd be able to stick to a better diet plan, and that I'd make this work. I went through so much to get approved for the surgery...an IQ test, a session with a psychiatrist, etc. I had so much hope that this would help me and change my life that it was so easy to tell myself just what I wanted to hear, and covet a slim body and cute clothes.
I'm so glad that this worked for Vickie, and proud of her that she's doing what she has to do to keep it working. I don't say that it won't work for everyone; only that it didn't for me, and that I can't believe I'm the only one. I actually think that WLS might be more successful in people who are not SS to begin with. I think they have a smaller adjustment to make to their eating than does a very SS person.
So what do I do now? Well, several years ago I discovered the now-defunct Radiance Magazine, and I loved it. Then three years ago I found Dimensions. I'm trying to accept myself how I am now, and even though I still want to lose weight my goal is to get healthier, pain free, and more able to do more things. I'd like it if I could walk without being winded and in pain. I'd still like to get that boyfriend I longed for so badly, too, lol....but mostly it's just for me.
Any comments, questions, etc. are appreciated.
I asked Vickie if she minded me doing this, because she's my friend and I don't want her to think I'm trying to one-up her or anything, but (as I knew she would) she said go for it, that everyone's experiences are worthwhile to share. So here goes. I had my surgery when I was 25, at 374 lbs. It was a roux-en-Y with exclusion/bypass. I was scared to death, but also so very hopeful that it would change my life fundamentally for the better. I had never had a boyfriend and wanted one desperately. I had visions in my mind of boyfriends, and cute clothes...the works. They told me the hazards, risks, and things that made the surgery unsuccessful, but I was so blind, so longing for that life I thought it would give me that I was sure that I'd be able to lose this time. I was sure I'd be able to do what I was supposed to do.
I had never had successes with diets, even though I had tried them all. I'd lose forty pounds or so, then gain it back (plus twenty more) in no time at all. They told me that the surgery would be a tool for me; that it would have several effects that would work in unison to be better than a diet alone. They said I would not be able to handle sugar, and that if I ate it it would make me very ill, and have "dumping," and that I'd only be able to eat a very small volume of any food at all.
For a year I had virtually no sugar, and couldn't eat much at all. I lost over 100lbs. Then I let myself have a candy bar....I had thought it would make me have the dumping syndrome and that it'd teach me a lesson. I ate the candy bar....and nothing. No dumping syndrome. No racing heart, no throwing up, no diarrhea. BIG uh-oh. Suddenly one of my "tools" turned out to be a myth.
One thing they tell you with RNY is that you are not supposed to drink while eating. The thing they don't tell you is that because of how you're rewired, and the juices not going into your stomach how it is now, that you will feel amazing thirst when you eat. I mean...gulp down a huge glass of water thirsty. Kill camels in the desert thirsty. That was one rule I broke from the beginning...I drank while eating. And it hurt so very, very much. I think it had a great deal to do with me stretching my pouch out. And stretch it did. Whereas at first one bite of food would cause me great pain, now I can eat a significant volume...not as much as pre-surgery but a large amount. And still no dumping. I can eat anything sugary, greasy, whatever....and be happy as a clam. The things that do bother my stomach are weird...most cereals (unless I eat them without milk) and a lot of fruits and veggies. In the interest of TMI I won't elaborate, lol. But there you go...both my "tools" were missing or lost.
Anyway....slowly after that first year I started to put the weight I had lost back on. Now I am heavier than I was pre-op. The surgery was unsuccessful for me, and a large part of that is my own fault. But in my defense, I never could stick to a diet long term, and without the "tools" that the surgery was supposed to give me, what else was this, really, than just another diet? It's sort of funny that one of the things they ask you about before the surgery is what diets you've tried and failed at....they want you to have tried lots of them and have them not work, to show that this is a last option for you. It should have showed them that I have never been able to stick to a diet, and without the "tools" of dumping and small pouch size, I'd be unable to do this one too.
People say that fat people who don't stick to diets have poor willpower; but they have no idea what it took for me to lay there and let them prep me for the surgery. I was terrified, and wanted to run away...I didn't know if I would wake up, or if I did what sort of complications I might have. They took out my gall bladder too; it had scarred heavily into my liver and was a devil to remove the surgeon said. My incision was 16" long; I have a large scar that I'm shy about to this day. I woke up after the surgery to the sounds of my own moans. I felt like someone had dropped an anvil on my midsection. Stomach muscles are core muscles, and so many of them had been cut. It was excruciating.
I was on morphine in the hospital, but they sent me home (after four days) with Lortab, a painkiller which gave me hallucinations (mild ones, but they took me off it nonetheless) and I just used Ibuprofen from then on out. I went back and had my staples removed and had some small amount of infection where my belly folded over and the staples touched back to back, which they gave me an oral antibiotic for. I don't know what I would have done without my sister to help me when I got home. I needed help getting in and out of bed, onto and off of the toilet, into and out of the shower (during which I had to sit and wash)...you get the picture. If anyone is considering this surgery I would beg you to keep this in mind if they are opening you all the way like they did me and Vickie. You will need practically 24 hour care for several weeks.
All in all I was very lucky that I didn't have a lot worse complications. I know the horror stories that are out there, and while my surgery was ultimately not successful in regards to weight loss, at least I am not internally crippled or dead. The weight I lost was a good deal of muscle I think; now that I've regained it back it all went to fat. I think I'm more unfit now than I was before the surgery, but perhaps that has more to do with being ten years older, too.
Your love of food doesn't go away. For me I had no deterrent to eating sweets or other "bad" things without the "tools" this surgery was supposed to give me, and my pouch was soon able to take quite a large volume. I think that if you're no good at dieting in the long term than there is a good chance you might be like me and end up right back where you started, or even bigger.
In my mind I liken it a little bit to a sex change operation...it's almost that much of a sea change in your life. You know how they make transsexuals live for a certain amount of time as the opposite sex before they will do the actual sex-reassignment surgery? I think that if you can't live the post-WLS life for a year before you go under the knife, that your chances are lessened that you will be able to stick to it afterwards. Can you pass up sweets? Will you exercise five times a week? It is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card like I so wanted it to be.
My surgery was approximately $40,000. I'm still very fat...more than I was before I had it. If the possible complications or possible death don't scare you, at least let it enter your head that it just plain ol' might not work. I was certain that this time I'd be able to stick to a better diet plan, and that I'd make this work. I went through so much to get approved for the surgery...an IQ test, a session with a psychiatrist, etc. I had so much hope that this would help me and change my life that it was so easy to tell myself just what I wanted to hear, and covet a slim body and cute clothes.
I'm so glad that this worked for Vickie, and proud of her that she's doing what she has to do to keep it working. I don't say that it won't work for everyone; only that it didn't for me, and that I can't believe I'm the only one. I actually think that WLS might be more successful in people who are not SS to begin with. I think they have a smaller adjustment to make to their eating than does a very SS person.
So what do I do now? Well, several years ago I discovered the now-defunct Radiance Magazine, and I loved it. Then three years ago I found Dimensions. I'm trying to accept myself how I am now, and even though I still want to lose weight my goal is to get healthier, pain free, and more able to do more things. I'd like it if I could walk without being winded and in pain. I'd still like to get that boyfriend I longed for so badly, too, lol....but mostly it's just for me.
Any comments, questions, etc. are appreciated.
