It's now in MEME form.A wife sent her husband a romantic text message… She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
Didn't you help her with her laundry cart?Not really a joke because it really happened. I thought think it belongs here.
I really hate scaring 80+ year old ladies but it happens. I was on the elevator and this lady gets in but did not see me because she was pulling her laundry cart. I said "Hi." She screamed so loud I jumped back and hit the wall hard. I said "Sorry Miss Anna I did not mean to scare you." She looks at me and caught her breath and said. "I know and no problem as I was going to have to have a bowel movement today anyway sooner or later."