wannabe BBW - conflicted

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sassysteph

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I found this site about 6 weeks ago and have been lurking every day since. I guess I'm obsessed with reading stories (true or fiction) about weight gain.

A few weeks ago, hubby and I were getting ready to go on a 7-day cruise and I decided that I was going to enjoy my vacation and eat... and eat... and eat. On that day I weighed 132lbs. I am 5'-2" so I was not super-thin, but not overweight either. By the time we got on the ship, I was up to 135lbs. Over the next week, I over-ate at every opportunity and added another 12lbs. In the 10 days since we've been back, I have slowed down some, but am now tipping the scales at 151lbs. That's almost 20lbs in less than 4 weeks!

I am enjoying some of my new curves (LOVE how my butt feels when it jiggles!) but most of my new weight has gone to my tummy, making me look 5 months pregnant, which I don't particularlly like. Also, hubby won't say if he likes my body better now or not, if I bring it up, he just tells me that I worry too much. Also, I think our sex life is better, but I guess I could be imagining that!


So, how do u know if you are a BBW-to be, or just a confused chubby girl? I know I don't want to keep gaining quite as fast as I did on the cruise (over 1.5lbs per day!), but haven't really decided if I want to try to maintain where I am now, keep gaining, or try to get back to where I was! Of course, a week of non-stop eating wrecked havok with my appetite, making me hungry all the time, so I worry that maintaining or losing weight may not even be an option without some serious willpower!

The other thing is that I am a foodie (or maybe a feedie? not really sure what the difference is). Anyway, I LOVE FOOD! In fact, for the last 3 years or so, the only way I have been able to have an orgasm is to be eating or thing about fattening food during sex. What this means is that, any time I try to diet, I dread sex cuz I know I won't really enjoy it without thinking about the foods that I am not "allowed" to have.

I would love to hear other perspectives on my situation! Thanks!
 

bobsjers

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I found this site about 6 weeks ago and have been lurking every day since. I guess I'm obsessed with reading stories (true or fiction) about weight gain.

A few weeks ago, hubby and I were getting ready to go on a 7-day cruise and I decided that I was going to enjoy my vacation and eat... and eat... and eat. On that day I weighed 132lbs. I am 5'-2" so I was not super-thin, but not overweight either. By the time we got on the ship, I was up to 135lbs. Over the next week, I over-ate at every opportunity and added another 12lbs. In the 10 days since we've been back, I have slowed down some, but am now tipping the scales at 151lbs. That's almost 20lbs in less than 4 weeks!

I am enjoying some of my new curves (LOVE how my butt feels when it jiggles!) but most of my new weight has gone to my tummy, making me look 5 months pregnant, which I don't particularlly like. Also, hubby won't say if he likes my body better now or not, if I bring it up, he just tells me that I worry too much. Also, I think our sex life is better, but I guess I could be imagining that!


So, how do u know if you are a BBW-to be, or just a confused chubby girl? I know I don't want to keep gaining quite as fast as I did on the cruise (over 1.5lbs per day!), but haven't really decided if I want to try to maintain where I am now, keep gaining, or try to get back to where I was! Of course, a week of non-stop eating wrecked havok with my appetite, making me hungry all the time, so I worry that maintaining or losing weight may not even be an option without some serious willpower!

The other thing is that I am a foodie (or maybe a feedie? not really sure what the difference is). Anyway, I LOVE FOOD! In fact, for the last 3 years or so, the only way I have been able to have an orgasm is to be eating or thing about fattening food during sex. What this means is that, any time I try to diet, I dread sex cuz I know I won't really enjoy it without thinking about the foods that I am not "allowed" to have.

I would love to hear other perspectives on my situation! Thanks!
Keep gaining in slow increments, and see how you like it.

But remember, that weight loss is near impossible, so make sure you are OK with your size as you gain.

From what I hear, fast gains usually end up in the belly. Beyond that, it is just genetic where the gain ends up.

Congratulations on your new curves. They sound very nice.
 

Luv2CUfeast

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The cruises I've been on have been amazing opportunities to overindulge. On some ships you can eat and drink nearly 24 hours a day. you board as a passenger and return as cargo!

I did a 10 day cruise with Royal Carribbean a few years ago and gained 17 pounds - it was delightful. (Hey, you paid for the food - might as well take it home!)

Start planning your next cruise vacation and note which ones offer the midnight and chocholate buffets. Casually mention to your husband you'll want to shop for some new clothes a size or two larger so you can really enjoy yourself this time. Observe his reaction, and you'll get all the indication you need to resolve your conflict!

Bonus points if he says "Why wait for vacation?" and offers to take you out for dinner right then and there.
:eat1::D
 

sassysteph

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thanks for the responses so far! my cruise was also Royal Caribbean! we were on the Voyager of the Seas and they had a little cafe that was open 24hrs, which I made good use of!

I guess I should have expected the extra weight to gather in my belly, since I gained it so fast... I wish I woulda thought of that before, but it probably wouldn't have changed anything.
 

bobsjers

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thanks for the responses so far! my cruise was also Royal Caribbean! we were on the Voyager of the Seas and they had a little cafe that was open 24hrs, which I made good use of!

I guess I should have expected the extra weight to gather in my belly, since I gained it so fast... I wish I woulda thought of that before, but it probably wouldn't have changed anything.
How are the other women shaped in your immediate family? Even if they are size 4, you can probably tell from their chests and butts if they are shapely, or cylindrical shaped.

If you were programmed to be hourglass shaped, the weight will shift eventually.
 

TraciJo67

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If he's anything like most men I know, he's going to hear "I want to spend money" as soon as she mentions larger clothing sizes.

She could, y'know, just ask him if he likes her with extra padding, without fishing around indirectly.

The cruises I've been on have been amazing opportunities to overindulge. On some ships you can eat and drink nearly 24 hours a day. you board as a passenger and return as cargo!

I did a 10 day cruise with Royal Carribbean a few years ago and gained 17 pounds - it was delightful. (Hey, you paid for the food - might as well take it home!)

Start planning your next cruise vacation and note which ones offer the midnight and chocholate buffets. Casually mention to your husband you'll want to shop for some new clothes a size or two larger so you can really enjoy yourself this time. Observe his reaction, and you'll get all the indication you need to resolve your conflict!

Bonus points if he says "Why wait for vacation?" and offers to take you out for dinner right then and there.
:eat1::D
 

sassysteph

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I am going to respond to several posts at once, but using my phone, so I am not including quotes.

TracyJo - I did ask if he liked my body better now, or when I was thinner. Unfortunately, I have always been somewhat obsessed with weight and weight-loss (I am actually a recovering anorexic/bulemic) so he answers those types of questions in a very guarded manner... for instance "I think you are beautiful no matter what your size, I just want you to be happy."

On one hand, it's great that he says I'm beautiful regardless of size. On the other, if I can't get a strait answer, I have no way of knowing what he actually prefers. We have been together for 15 years. Short of him telling me that he liked the way I looked when I was harming myself, I would like to be as visually appealling to him as I can be. I guess I feel like I'm at a point right now where I can stop gaining if I want to, or I could continue to get bigger. I could probably even lose the weight if I chose to.

bobsjers - I am adopted and have never met my bio family. before now, I have always been "slightly" hourglass, but never had quite a narrow enough waist for that description to fit... but I'm not quite a box/cylinder either. I am hoping that the belly disipates a little and migrates to other regions... bigger boobs would be nice! :)
 

Tad

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The great white north, eh?
The other thing is that I am a foodie (or maybe a feedie? not really sure what the difference is). Anyway, I LOVE FOOD! In fact, for the last 3 years or so, the only way I have been able to have an orgasm is to be eating or thing about fattening food during sex. What this means is that, any time I try to diet, I dread sex cuz I know I won't really enjoy it without thinking about the foods that I am not "allowed" to have.
I think that paragraph speaks volumes about your sexuality. You say that over the past three years this has been necessary......did it start sort of out of the blue, or has that been part of how you've felt for a long time?

I guess what I'm getting at is that you probably need to do some navel gazing as we used to call it (sitting around, being introspective), and figure out what is what for you. For instance, if you got fatter and your husband was OK-ish with it but not crazy about it, would simply being that much bigger still be a turn on for you, or is being appreciated for being fatter key to you? How much is it about enjoying all the food you love, and how much about being fat? Do you have the discipline to stay active if you get bigger, or do you even want to? and so on. It is all stuff that only you can really answer.

In short, I'd worry less about what your husband feels, just for the moment, and spend more time being really clear about what you feel, what you need, and what you want. Once you are reasonably clear on that you'll be able to deal with whatever he feels more productively.

Good luck sorting through this, I sure know that it is not easy!
 

sassysteph

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Tad - wow, lots to ponder... you brought up some great points! as for the 3 years, that's how long ago I realized what was going on. after the birth of my 1st child 10yrs ago, my libido was VERY low. I made love to my hubby to satisfy his needs, but had no interest for myself. sometimes I'd allow my thoughts to wander... and every once in a while I would suddenly climax without knowing why. for a while I just assumed that he had hit that "magic spot"... then, shortly after my 2nd child was born, I realized that if I was thinking about food furing sex, I could reach climax. so I started doing that regularly (and intentionally). I can honestly say that our sex life has been better because of it.

as for hubby just being OK-ish about my body, I don't think I'd be OK with that. I think I'd rather be thin (even if I have to deprive myself of my fave foods) than have him not be physically attracted to me. prob somewhat shallow of me, but it is what it is.

as for me, it is definitely more about the food than my body shape. I THINK I'm OK with getting fat, but that's mostly cuz getting fat means I can eat more. still trying to work it all out in my head. thanks to everyone for helping me to find the real issues!
 

strataadvance

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I do believe that most people who gain rapidly get the majority in the tummy.Not all(I have a person in my life who could gain very rapidly-and all over as well).But most who gain fast will get a big belly. I would propose this idea. Since your appetite is "ramped-up" right now-just go with that. Don't deprive yourself-even occaisionally when out to dinner you could even get stuffed. I think you would probably gain 20 more lbs. in 4 to 6 months. And then at your height you will be beyond chubby. Your weight-gain should settle-out over more of your body. And with a decidely different appearnce and "feel" of softness-I think your questions about your husband's true feelings will be known to you. He'll have to say something about a 40 lb gain in just over half a year. At 170 you will be maybe past getting back to 132 for a long while. But you could certainly start exercising and showing mild restraint and get to a chubby range in the 140's. That's my idea anyway. :)
 

sassysteph

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I think you would probably gain 20 more lbs. in 4 to 6 months.
:D LOL! It only took 4 weeks for me to gain the first 20! I'm betting that the next 20 will be here within the next 2 months if I allow it. Especially with my "ramped-up" appetite! :eat1:
 

Tad

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The great white north, eh?
as for me, it is definitely more about the food than my body shape. I THINK I'm OK with getting fat, but that's mostly cuz getting fat means I can eat more. still trying to work it all out in my head. thanks to everyone for helping me to find the real issues!
Well, to be technical, getting fat doesn't mean you can eat more, it is just evidence that you've been eating more ;) But I think I get what you mean....giving yourself permission to gain means you can eat as much as you want without the 'evidence' being a problem.

One thing to consider: the more physically active you are, the more you can eat without gaining. How would you feel about adding some light weights to your routine and maybe making time for some extra brisk walks or sessions at a pool, or something?
 

strataadvance

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:D LOL! It only took 4 weeks for me to gain the first 20! I'm betting that the next 20 will be here within the next 2 months if I allow it. Especially with my "ramped-up" appetite! :eat1:
I was really speaking about the "mostly belly" gain from gaining 20 lbs. in 4 weeks. However You just gave me an idea. :) Just keep enjoying as you are-see if you actually do gain 20 more in two months. You'll be nice and plump for the summer. Then you might gain 20 more in 4 months after that-or you might stay the same -or reduce. Just keep us posted though-ok?
 

sassysteph

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just went to the doctor to get antibiotics for my bronchitis. Of course, the customary weigh-in was the first stop. And, since the nurse had my chart with my weight in January listed as 130, she was VERY surprised when she had to bump the scale up over 150. First thing she asked when we got to the room was, "Are you pregnant?".

I said, "No, I just gained a little weight on vacation."

She laughed and said incredulously, "a LITTLE??? Miss, do you realize that you've gained over 20lbs in less than 2 months? That would be a lot even if you were pregnant!"

Me: "Aren't you supposed to be asking about my bronchitis symptoms and getting my vitals?".

Nurse: "Your weight is part of your vitals."

Me: "RECORDING my weight is part of getting my vitals. Lecturing me about it and ignoring the issue I came in here for is NOT what you get paid for. If the doctor feels it's necessary to bring up my weight gain, I will discuss it with her."

Of course, the doc, who is a BBW herself, said NOTHING about my weight.
 

bobsjers

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Good for you. Some people think that health care professionals are God.

I had a dentist lecture me about my weight (I'm not even all that large). I also had a nurse practicioner give me a hard time.

Bob

just went to the doctor to get antibiotics for my bronchitis. Of course, the customary weigh-in was the first stop. And, since the nurse had my chart with my weight in January listed as 130, she was VERY surprised when she had to bump the scale up over 150. First thing she asked when we got to the room was, "Are you pregnant?".

I said, "No, I just gained a little weight on vacation."

She laughed and said incredulously, "a LITTLE??? Miss, do you realize that you've gained over 20lbs in less than 2 months? That would be a lot even if you were pregnant!"

Me: "Aren't you supposed to be asking about my bronchitis symptoms and getting my vitals?".

Nurse: "Your weight is part of your vitals."

Me: "RECORDING my weight is part of getting my vitals. Lecturing me about it and ignoring the issue I came in here for is NOT what you get paid for. If the doctor feels it's necessary to bring up my weight gain, I will discuss it with her."

Of course, the doc, who is a BBW herself, said NOTHING about my weight.
 

LifeTraveller

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Good for you. Some people think that health care professionals are God.

I had a dentist lecture me about my weight (I'm not even all that large). I also had a nurse practitioner give me a hard time.


I had a similar situation at my Doctor's office, first the gratuitous weigh-in, then the comment. I'm in my 50's no diabetes, no high blood pressure, and my cholesterol is good. I walk a min of 5 miles a day, etc, however I'm far from "average sized". To make a long story short, the Doc said I might want to consider medicating for my cholesterol level (120). I looked right at him, and told him I'd consider firing him if he insisted on "drugging" me for no good reason!

I no longer get hassled and in fact my levels have gone down with some dietary change. . I also asked for the other Nurse Practitioner, she's cute, chubby and a joy to deal with. Just my 2 cents worth.
 

sassysteph

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I've never had a problem standing up to "health care professionals" cuz my mother was a nurse and she did all kinds of stupid stuff to me as a kid! When I was 5 she put me on the Grapefruit Diet for 2 months prior to starting kindergarten.
 

CastingPearls

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I've never had a problem standing up to "health care professionals" cuz my mother was a nurse and she did all kinds of stupid stuff to me as a kid! When I was 5 she put me on the Grapefruit Diet for 2 months prior to starting kindergarten.
I feel your pain. When I was three my father told me if I didn't 'knock that weight off' (poking my belly) I'd never get married and have babies of my own. Three. Years. Old.

EDT: Oh and he never told me how I was supposed to do it either.
 

sassysteph

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my dad did that too... lots of nagging and teasing with no real information or help. of course mom was full of "helpful suggestions". In the 14 years I lived with her I was put on more diets than most people go on in their entire lives. she even had her doc prescribe phen-fen for her and gave it to me... I think I was 13 or 14. she just couldn't stand it that I was not perfect.
 

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