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moore2me

Lions don't need to spank
Joined
Nov 8, 2005
Messages
5,611
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Banned from facebook,
My ex is suing me to not have to pay alimony because he's claiming unemployment, which he will have to prove. Unfortunately, he's a member of a "Let's Screw Over the Ex-Wives Club' and is the third of them to use this tactic to get out of child support and alimony.

I'm more concerned about the insurance I may lose if he wins. I have to appear at a hearing on July 2nd. There will be no judge, but an administrator who will just look at paperwork and make a decision. I also know the weasel's best/boy friend is good at faking documents and it makes me sad that he would stoop so low as to put our house in foreclosure rather than agree to sell it or even have it appraised just to screw me over. He's hurting himself financially just to hurt me. It's bad enough he rejected me and drove me away but to conspire so that I can't even have insurance is beneath contempt.

I never thought he would be capable of such hateful things. I was a good wife to him until he became controlling and abusive. Now that I see what he's truly capable of, I'm worried that he might not be taking care of Nacho as I once thought he would, as the honorable thing. He has no honor. I don't know this man. He's a stranger to me.
Lainey,

Some men can be vindictive bums when their male pride is wounded. Be thankful there are no kids to add to this nasty mix. On the insurance thing, check with your rights as a covered participant. I know my husband's insurance gives me certain rights that I can keep if he cancels his policy. It lets me (under COBRA) keep my part of the policy for 18 months after he quits. I just have to pay more (my part + some of the employer's part), but at least you have insurance for a year and a half more. In the interim, you can check for a separate policy or go to work for someone who will give you insurance as part of your job. (The state or federal government is the best bet for picking up a new policy.)

Also, I am not a lawyer, but I thought you have rights to examine the documents he uses as evidence. I know in some cases, he has to share them with you before he introduces something new so that your team can evaluate the docs and prepare a defense. If this is not true, I would make my own doc (just like you think he has) and use it as an ace in the hole. Don't pull it out unless he starts the dirty business. Just as you suspect his friend will produce something fishy - you too can produce something equally fishy. Be it known tho, I am not encouraging you to commit fraud, just a little creative writing.

If you know someone who is good at creative and imaginative writing, :rolleyes: ;) you should be able to produce documentation pretty equal to any crap or dirt he dishes up.
 

Aust99

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2009
Messages
2,617
Location
,
My third cold for the winter... I wish parents would keep their kids home from school if they're sick.... I'm not a baby sitting service and I'm tired of catching their colds....
 

thatgirl08

KNOW IT ALL
Joined
Apr 20, 2008
Messages
4,897
Location
,
My ex is suing me to not have to pay alimony because he's claiming unemployment, which he will have to prove. Unfortunately, he's a member of a "Let's Screw Over the Ex-Wives Club' and is the third of them to use this tactic to get out of child support and alimony.

I'm more concerned about the insurance I may lose if he wins. I have to appear at a hearing on July 2nd. There will be no judge, but an administrator who will just look at paperwork and make a decision. I also know the weasel's best/boy friend is good at faking documents and it makes me sad that he would stoop so low as to put our house in foreclosure rather than agree to sell it or even have it appraised just to screw me over. He's hurting himself financially just to hurt me. It's bad enough he rejected me and drove me away but to conspire so that I can't even have insurance is beneath contempt.

I never thought he would be capable of such hateful things. I was a good wife to him until he became controlling and abusive. Now that I see what he's truly capable of, I'm worried that he might not be taking care of Nacho as I once thought he would, as the honorable thing. He has no honor. I don't know this man. He's a stranger to me.
I'm assuming you mean you were eligible under your ex-husband's plan for his health insurance? If the company he works for has over 20 employees then federal law dictates that the company needs to offer you COBRA which is a continued insurance plan. If they have less than 20 employees then it differs by state but most states offer some level of COBRA regardless of employee count. It's expensive but at least it's insurance. Don't quote me on the exact accuracy of this but I have a fair idea of how COBRA works since I write employee handbooks for a living now.. and I just asked my roomie/best friend who works in the COBRA department at the company I work for and she said my numbers were spot on. You & your ex should both be offered COBRA even if he is laid off, up to (I believe) 18 months. I know NY state also has an extension under certain circumstances so other states may as well.. not sure where you live, but I would check into that. So don't lose hope, you do have some protection under the law.
 

Deven

Wendigo
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
2,018
Location
facebook.com/kellyplatco, Female
My uncle passed away this morning. We got a call last week that his cancer had officially returned. It took less than a week and he's gone.

Our last visit wasn't happy. I was angry at my father (for his own death, which was unreasonable) and all my Uncle saw was my father's military record. I didn't get the chance to say I'm sorry or good-bye.

I've known since 10 am, but it hasn't really sunk in until a little bit ago. I've been going through my computer and cataloging everything for backup when I found a picture of him and my aunt on his custom made "trike." He had back surgery and had his motorcycle turned into a trike so that it would be safe and comfortable for him to ride.

It hurts.
 

That Guy You Met Once

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
418
Location
,
I'm sorry, DevenDoom.

---

I love my girlfriend, and she loves me back, but I'm very unhappy in our relationship.

The main problem is probably that she's too young. (She's 18, I'm 21, for the record.)

She still lives with her grandmother, is only allowed out at night one or two days a week, and only until midnight, and doesn't control her own schedule, so she's always having to cancel our plans a few hours beforehand because grandma's making her clean or go out with relatives. It's going on a month since we've had any time alone. We've talked about this several times, but there's nothing either of us can do about it. She'll be starting a job and entering college soon, so she'll be even more busy, but doesn't have any plans to move out yet.

I got out of a long-distance relationship that was going nowhere, now it seems like I'm already in another one.
 

Aust99

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2009
Messages
2,617
Location
,
I rolled my ankle at work today. Can't put any weight on it (ha). I was off work with a cold last week for two days. Now I'm off for at least three days.... I just want to go to work. It's harder to not go with the planning and he kiddies missing out. Oh and I'm in a shit load of pain!
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
In Remembrance
Joined
Jan 12, 2007
Messages
11,704
Location
, Female
I rolled my ankle at work today. Can't put any weight on it (ha). I was off work with a cold last week for two days. Now I'm off for at least three days.... I just want to go to work. It's harder to not go with the planning and he kiddies missing out. Oh and I'm in a shit load of pain!
Girl, I totally know how you're feeling. I rolled my ankle at work two weeks ago and fell to the ground like a bag of bricks. My ankle is so weak from previous sprains that this happens about once every six months for me. I'm still wearing my tensor bandage on it right now because it's tender. I had to take a day off work but because i'm so stubborn (and can't afford to take time off) I went to work way sooner than I should have.

Remember, RICE. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation! I find frozen peas work the best. Haha.

Feel better!
 

Micara

Living and Learning
Joined
Feb 4, 2010
Messages
2,591
Location
,
I think I sabotage my own life because it's the only way to get myself to feel anything sometimes.
 

moore2me

Lions don't need to spank
Joined
Nov 8, 2005
Messages
5,611
Location
Banned from facebook,
I rolled my ankle at work today. Can't put any weight on it (ha). I was off work with a cold last week for two days. Now I'm off for at least three days.... I just want to go to work. It's harder to not go with the planning and he kiddies missing out. Oh and I'm in a shit load of pain!
Dear Aust, Since you injured yourself at work, you should file an accident report with your employer if you haven't done this already. This will cover your medical treatment if the injury does not get better or if you need more time or a different job until you heal. Do it.


WARNING. The following may be too much information:

If I can fill out a workers comp form for my last workplace accident - you can too. I sat on a wall mounted toilet and it broke and cracked on the floor. I cut my butt and had to go to the ER to have the porcelain picked out and the wound cleaned. The resulting workers comp form and what I wrote on it got lots of yuks all around. I am no means suggesting you have to do what I did, but I am a ham and a comedian (when I want to be). I called about 30 people in state government & workers comp, and told them my story so my collateral ego damage was spun in my direction.
 

Aust99

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2009
Messages
2,617
Location
,
Girl, I totally know how you're feeling. I rolled my ankle at work two weeks ago and fell to the ground like a bag of bricks. My ankle is so weak from previous sprains that this happens about once every six months for me. I'm still wearing my tensor bandage on it right now because it's tender. I had to take a day off work but because i'm so stubborn (and can't afford to take time off) I went to work way sooner than I should have.

Remember, RICE. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation! I find frozen peas work the best. Haha.

Feel better!
Dear Aust, Since you injured yourself at work, you should file an accident report with your employer if you haven't done this already. This will cover your medical treatment if the injury does not get better or if you need more time or a different job until you heal. Do it.


WARNING. The following may be too much information:

If I can fill out a workers comp form for my last workplace accident - you can too. I sat on a wall mounted toilet and it broke and cracked on the floor. I cut my butt and had to go to the ER to have the porcelain picked out and the wound cleaned. The resulting workers comp form and what I wrote on it got lots of yuks all around. I am no means suggesting you have to do what I did, but I am a ham and a comedian (when I want to be). I called about 30 people in state government & workers comp, and told them my story so my collateral ego damage was spun in my direction.

Thanks guys. My boss suggested doing that too so when I get back to work ill file the incident report. My doctors already started the paperwork. Such a painful experience though.
 

spiritangel

AmandaClause
Joined
Mar 1, 2010
Messages
9,407
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That I just found out a woman I have known through a few incarnations of basically the same scrapbooking group has breast cancer, in both of her breasts. She is an amazing and giving woman and it breaks my heart to see and know how much she is going to go through over the next few months.

Think I might make her a wee angel bear to watch over her
 

ODFFA

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2012
Messages
1,469
Location
Cape Town, South Africa
I'm up really early transcribing a long counselling session that is so, so sad *sniff sniff*. At the same time, it makes me feel very fortunate though.
 

kaylaisamachine

I'm a Little Teapot
Joined
Jun 28, 2011
Messages
606
Location
http://www.facebook.com/#!/kaylaisamachine,
I don't understand why guys must lie. I've given up hope. I thought this once, he would be different, from what I can see, and the fact that he could lie and keep from me something SO big just goes to show that I was wrong. Why must I give my heart so easily? I'm done trying.
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
In Remembrance
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
15,157
Location
,
I don't understand why guys must lie. I've given up hope. I thought this once, he would be different, from what I can see, and the fact that he could lie and keep from me something SO big just goes to show that I was wrong. Why must I give my heart so easily? I'm done trying.
There are seven billion people in the world. Don't let one jerk ruin it for the right person for you. We all make mistakes and we tend to blame ourselves especially in relationships (at every stage) but very often, it's not you, AT ALL. It's them. It's their issues. Don't let them become yours.

(((((Kayla)))))
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
In Remembrance
Joined
Jan 12, 2007
Messages
11,704
Location
, Female
I tried and fought so hard for something I believed in so very much....


...and in the end it still wasn't enough.


*exhale*
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
In Remembrance
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
15,157
Location
,
I'm assuming you mean you were eligible under your ex-husband's plan for his health insurance? If the company he works for has over 20 employees then federal law dictates that the company needs to offer you COBRA which is a continued insurance plan. If they have less than 20 employees then it differs by state but most states offer some level of COBRA regardless of employee count. It's expensive but at least it's insurance. Don't quote me on the exact accuracy of this but I have a fair idea of how COBRA works since I write employee handbooks for a living now.. and I just asked my roomie/best friend who works in the COBRA department at the company I work for and she said my numbers were spot on. You & your ex should both be offered COBRA even if he is laid off, up to (I believe) 18 months. I know NY state also has an extension under certain circumstances so other states may as well.. not sure where you live, but I would check into that. So don't lose hope, you do have some protection under the law.
I had to wait until court today to find out what the story was with him re insurance but his company (a major computer company) did offer Cobra and he turned it down because he would be legally obliged in our state to have me covered too and it would have been more than his unemployment checks. I know that when I was sick and ended my employment, I too was offered Cobra and the monthly fee was prohibitive.

I'm on permanent disability so it's Medicaid/Medicare and Part D for me as soon as I get his former company to sign off to them on when my coverage ended.
 
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