Abusive Relationships

Discussion in 'BBW/FA Board' started by Green Eyed Fairy, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. Dec 12, 2014 #61

    Sunshine_Fette

    Sunshine_Fette

    Sunshine_Fette

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    Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this happened to you. How are things now? I'm sorry if that is prying, I just wanted to see if you are staying safe.
     
  2. Dec 12, 2014 #62

    Ohio Lady

    Ohio Lady

    Ohio Lady

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    Been married three times ~ 2nd husband and I were married 14 years and I always said when a man hit me it would be his last because I was no one's punching bag.. Well on Nov. 7th he decided to hit me and when he did I called my son and told him to come over and get me out of that house.. he came with his dad, the step mom, and 2 others they had every bit of stuff which was all mine to begin with out of the house in 6 1/2 hours.. Once I walked out I never looked back. ~ I told every man I have ever been with "you may hit me once but you will never have a 2nd chance" and I have stood by that all my life and continue to stand on that today. It is actually a matter of making up your mind to walk out and doing it, some can't because of intimidation as was stated once here.
     
  3. Jan 9, 2015 #63

    FatAndProud

    FatAndProud

    FatAndProud

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    I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off...

    I don't know what it is, but in the last 6 months men have approached me much more. Flirted with me. Exchanged numbers...all these things I am not used to. I met one guy that seemed approachable. He caught me off guard because he asked me out on Christmas :)

    Fast forward, and he ends up becoming aggressive and physical with me. He insists it's because he mixed his meds with alcohol and he normally doesn't do that...but he left marks all over my body. I was in pain for days. He was so strong. He wants to date me, but I'm afraid of him! He's nice otherwise...but I'm already finding myself making excuses for the abuse!
     
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  4. Jan 9, 2015 #64

    Tracyarts

    Tracyarts

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    This thread popped up for me in a very timely manner.

    One of my closest friends is in a horribly abusive relationship but isn't ready to accept help in getting out and moving on. The ironic part is that this is the same friend who pointed out the warning signs with my ex and told me that I needed to look very closely at where things were heading with him.

    I got away from my ex before things got really bad. I found out many years later that he only escalated in his subsequent relationships.

    My friend is at the point where she has withdrawn almost completely from her friends and family. Too many questions she doesn't want to answer. Too much potential for trouble if he knows she is "talking to people". All she does is post requests for prayers on Facebook and the occasional plea for assistance when she is in a bind and needs a ride or a few bucks to buy a necessity.

    It's hard to watch. She knows she has allies and people who will help her get rid of him and pick up the pieces if and when she is ready to take that step. But it's all on her and she grew up in a home where her dad verbally and financially abused her mom and I guess that is her normal.
     
  5. Jan 9, 2015 #65

    Marlayna

    Marlayna

    Marlayna

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    Run for the hills. These types can be very attractive and charming, but if you forgive the abuse, for any reason, that tells him that he can do whatever he wants to you and you'll put up with it.
    Believe me, it's not worth it, and sooner or later it will only get worse. You're not the first one he was rough with, and you won't be the last.
     
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  6. Jan 10, 2015 #66

    CastingPearls

    CastingPearls

    CastingPearls

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    My sister was dating a man for over a year who was prescribed meds and either didn't take them regularly because he didn't like how he felt on them, or he took them with alcohol.

    She loved him. He moved in with her. There were times I didn't see her because I lived in another state and I was very ill. She'd take time off from work, though, and be my caregiver when my husband had mandatory work obligations. She, a very strong, beautiful, creative woman, was changing before my eyes, but because I myself was so sick and on strong narcotics, I was unaware of how much danger she was in.

    One night I got a call that she was in the hospital. He had beaten her so badly, that he was banging her head on the steps outside her apartment and a neighbor heard her screaming. It happened suddenly without warning. There was no argument, no misunderstanding.

    When the police arrived, my sister was so injured that she was temporarily blinded and stumbled toward the officers and they caught her. They arrested him and he tested positive for intoxication. She refused to let me see her. She wouldn't even let me see the police report with the photos of the damage. She made excuses. She was humiliated. Because I was bedridden, I couldn't go to her. She wouldn't see my brothers.

    She took him back. She wouldn't discuss it.

    She was dead a few months later.

    We still don't know what she died of. The toxicology report was screwed up several times and by the fourth time, she'd be cremated and there was no material left to test.

    He was in the house when she died. We'll never know what happened. We do know he disappeared with all her belongings, including her dog and two cats.

    My sister was 35. She was my only sister, and much too young and too vibrant to die.

    You know I sent you a private message, but I wanted to share this here too.

    Don't make excuses for an abuser, ever.

    I have been abused. I left him. I'm alone for four years. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with a man who hurts me again. You are strong. You are just as strong as I am. You don't need this man and you don't deserve abuse. There is no justification for it. None.
     
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