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Skye23

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I've put off posting this for two weeks now, I'd plan to and then I'd tell myself I didn't know which sub-board it really belonged to. Or I wasn't sure what to Title it as, or I didn't have time or or ....you get the drift.

2 weeks ago hubby picked me up from my that week's round of acupuncture and massage to try and deal with my numerous health issues. As one often is after therapeutic massage I was tired, sore, disheveled and greased like a cute little piglet. I decided I was not cooking dinner and I was dying for some Chinese so I begged him to take me to one of the local Chinese Buffets. He prefers when I home-cook Chinese or to be able to order a few things he likes vs the buffets in part because he doesn't eat uncured pork, or most fish or shellfish and that really limits the menu for him. I love the buffets because I can chow down on pork, and fish and shellfish :blush:

We decided to go to one that isn't my favourite, but does have a hibachi grill so in theory he could have them make lo mein or a stir fry to order. There I was, looking rather bedraggled, my hair was mess because they'd worked on my neck so I had massage oil in it. I had on baggy jeans and a slightly oversized hoodie with the girls let loose, since it makes no sense to dress up when they're just going to strip you naked, grease you up and beat up on you. Its not my best look I admit, but I was hungry and didn't really care who saw me as long as I could get some food. I also wasn't wearing my wedding ring because I never wear it to massage, can't leave it on when they work on my hands and I don't want to lose it.

While I was filling up plate number two, and trust me I was filling it up because I can never really eat before acupuncture/massage (too much time lying on those darn tables) and I was starving this guy walked up to me and said excuse me. Since he was rather fluffy himself I figured he was just going to ask me if I'd seen any of a particular dish, or knew what something was. So I barely looked up at him once I realized he was indeed talking to me. I got the shock of my life just about when he told me that he'd just wanted to say hello and tell me that I was beautiful. Sometimes you look at somebody and you know they're telling you the absolute truth, that his buddies hadn't put him up to it, that he wasn't pranking you, that this was not just some cosmic joke (yet again) on the fat girl.

It actually rendered me momentarily speechless. Hubby will attest to the fact how rare that is, and after 20 years together and 17 married this April, he'd know. I wish I'd managed a better response, all I could do was blush and laugh and tell him thank you, that was very sweet of him to say unfortunately my husband thought so also. He apologized and I told him I didn't mind or anything and he said goodbye and wandered off. After I regained my senses and finally put the spoonful of stirfry I'd been holding this entire time on my plate I managed to stagger back to the table with hubby. I looked around for the guy a couple of times after that, because I wanted to say something else, something more but I didn't see him. And yes I did tell hubby - I told him that this was either my new favourite restaurant and we'd be going here a lot more often, or I'd never get to eat here again after I told him what had happened and that it pretty much depended on him. Luckily for me he's pretty secure so I think we'll be going back again. Its slightly less risky then when we go to heavy metal concerts where I've had actual marriage proposals from guys while he was standing next to me ;)

So on the offhand chance that my sweet and fluffy admirer frequents this site. If any of this sounds familiar - thanks. You made my day, week, month and who knows probably year. I'm usually pretty secure about who I am and what I am, and I like myself just fine but to be told you're beautiful on a day when you realistically know you're not in your best form - that means something. I wish I'd said something better to you, but you left me slightly floored and that so rarely happens. I'd give you an award for that but I don't know who you are. I hope you know I wasn't laughing at you, I hope you know I was flattered and I appreciated your remark. And more then that I hope the next BBW you approach who's not wearing a wedding ring is single and is able to get to know you better then I did. You deserve it!
 

1love_emily

COLLEGE
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Don't you love it when that happens?
I think that's happened to me once. A boy I had a crush on told me I was beautiful when I was in high school, and I swear I was mentally planning our wedding for the next few weeks.

That was the only time for me, at least when I wasn't in a relationship with someone.

Good for you and always remember that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
 

musicman

I hate fat-haters!
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Skye, that's a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing it. I think the world would be a better place if more people with non-mainstream preferences came out and expressed their feelings. If they did, then we might actually be able to start fighting the dysfunctional standards of "beauty" promoted by the media (bought and paid for by the diet scammers, of course).

Too many FAs have been conditioned by society to keep their feelings to themselves, to avoid ridicule from other guys and misunderstandings from the women they admire. If a woman is slender, no one thinks twice if a complete stranger gives her an innocent compliment. As long as the guy is not a total creep, a compliment can make her feel good about herself. But if her ass is more than a foot wide or her belly sticks out even a little bit, then society says she deserves shame rather than respect, and any guy who compliments her must be a sick pervert. (And too many women have been conditioned to believe this bullsh*t as well.)

On a related topic, some people here like to rag on the guys who post comments on the Paysite Board, calling them wankers and one-handed typists, but why shouldn't FAs be able to express themselves like the guys who have politically correct preferences? I think we should welcome their honesty. I know it doesn't take much courage to post "Love your big ass!" on a semi-anonymous web board, but for some guys, maybe it's a first step. In any event, I'd rather see people just being who they are, instead of hiding in a closet their entire lives.
 

Skye23

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I just wish I'd managed a better reply really. I didn't put him down but at the same time I wasn't able to articulate how much the comment meant to me because I was so darn flustered. Its not that I'm unaccustomed to getting a little FA attention here and there, and I always had more boyfriends/suitors then my Mother could keep track of even with a scorecard (yes, I really did give her a scorecard and she STILL called one by the wrong name). But it was more the combination of out of the blue walk right up to you and say something, and the fact I wasn't even up to my admittedly comfort vs style normal standards.

The Renn faire in costume, in a corset - no shortage of attention.

Heavy Metal concerts - I can't go to see Slayer without at least one marriage proposal on average. Hubby now asks me how many guys hit on me every time he goes for a smoke or to the bathroom and teases me if he thinks the numbers are under par.

But that day I was as close to bedraggled as one can get....

I just hope he has the nerve to try again and that the next lovely BBW who catches his attention is single. And if any of you fellow BBW's live within an hour or so of Northern Delaware I'd be happy to privately disclose the restaurant's name and a partial description of the adorable guy so you can know who to try to batt your eyelashes at.
 

paintsplotch

paint me happy
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Jun 22, 2010
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I have to say that is awesome. Im rarely if ever told im beautiful and generally its by one of my girl friends.
Im practically ready to drive down to Delaware just on the off chance of getting a compliment. How very awesome for you!!
Ive generally been overlooked like drab wallpaper so to get a compliment is life changing. Sounds silly but its true.
 

gogogal

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Jul 28, 2010
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Sweet. I loved reading this.

I want to ask for some thoughts on this: for women (or men for that matter) who do not feel they are noticed / acknowledged / complimented often (or at all), how much of this do you think, in all earnesty, comes down to poise, or self-presence? A lot of people (big & small), for a number of reasons, choose to blend in. That's neither right or wrong - but I think it takes some courage to approach a stranger out of the blue. Even moreso if said stranger's eyes are downcast or body language is disinterested / disconnected. To me, that reads either lack of confidence or total boredom and disinterest. None of which tend to be the most alluring traits.

I know some big gals who are outgoing and attract positive attention, who are not necessarily any more or less beautiful than other big gals who tend to stand (literally) in the shadows and corners, avoiding attention. Thus just not getting any.

My thought is this - not everyone is "surface beautiful" (sorry, I am sure that is going to be a very unpopular statement but nevertheless, I said it), BUT beauty & sheer magnetism are two different things. Confidence, warmth and attitude are just soooo sexy.

So, my question I guess is this - if you think you're a wallflower, how much of that is because you choose to be a wallflower?

p.s. - paintsplotch, I love your signature. <3 doggies
 

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