First a little aside: *I want to thank everyone who took the time to tell me to go ahead and start this post.I know that overeating/binging can sometimes be tough to talk about so I wanted to make sure there weren't any objections before bringing up this subject.One of the main reasons I wish to post about this at dims is that I want to talk about disordered eating from the standpoint of those who have at least a passing belief in size acceptance.*
So yeah...I have a problem with binging& just eating way too much in general.I've struggled with this issue since junior high school perhaps even earlier so I'm fairly positive it's not going away any time soon.Over the years my binging *has* decreased for which I'm very grateful.
For me my binging is very much tied into my depression & anxiety issues.I eat because it soothes me and it temporarily helps me to manage my depression.Binge eating has been shown to boost the serotonin levels so I'm pretty much self medicating with food.However a short while after I eat too much I feel like absolute crap.Both mentally and physically.Also when I'm going through one of those periods where I'm binging on a regular basis the weight will start to pile on which of course only continues to make me even more depressed.I get more depressed so what do I want to do? Eat more and get out less.It becomes a vicious cycle.
Seeking treatment is tricky.I'm about to start working with a new therapist who does work with eating disordered people so I'm hopeful that this might be able to help.Where all of this becomes a bit more difficult is where my eating disorder meets up with my belief in size acceptance.Am I fat because I binge eat on occasion and eat too much in general? in part yes.However even if I were to eat what is considered a "normal" amount would I then magically become thin? Absolutely not.I want a therapist that can understand that my fat is due to multiple causes.I've made my peace with never being thin so I just hope I can find a professional who supports this.I believe one can recover from an eating disorder and still be fat.
I've tried overeaters anonymous over the years but I'm not entirely comfortable with 12 step programs.Also as you might imagine there is a great deal of fat phobia at o.a. meetings.I'm almost always the largest person there and it's very uncomfortable for me.
Though my eating has naturally calmed down over the last several years I've recently experienced a setback.I'm experiencing a great deal of change in my life at the present and so to deal with the stress, the loneliness and the uncertainity i've turned back to disordered eating.
I'm hoping that by starting this thread people will feel free to share some of their experiences.We might not be able to solve each others issues but it's good to know that there are other fat and/or size positive people who are struggling with disordered eating as well.
So yeah...I have a problem with binging& just eating way too much in general.I've struggled with this issue since junior high school perhaps even earlier so I'm fairly positive it's not going away any time soon.Over the years my binging *has* decreased for which I'm very grateful.
For me my binging is very much tied into my depression & anxiety issues.I eat because it soothes me and it temporarily helps me to manage my depression.Binge eating has been shown to boost the serotonin levels so I'm pretty much self medicating with food.However a short while after I eat too much I feel like absolute crap.Both mentally and physically.Also when I'm going through one of those periods where I'm binging on a regular basis the weight will start to pile on which of course only continues to make me even more depressed.I get more depressed so what do I want to do? Eat more and get out less.It becomes a vicious cycle.
Seeking treatment is tricky.I'm about to start working with a new therapist who does work with eating disordered people so I'm hopeful that this might be able to help.Where all of this becomes a bit more difficult is where my eating disorder meets up with my belief in size acceptance.Am I fat because I binge eat on occasion and eat too much in general? in part yes.However even if I were to eat what is considered a "normal" amount would I then magically become thin? Absolutely not.I want a therapist that can understand that my fat is due to multiple causes.I've made my peace with never being thin so I just hope I can find a professional who supports this.I believe one can recover from an eating disorder and still be fat.
I've tried overeaters anonymous over the years but I'm not entirely comfortable with 12 step programs.Also as you might imagine there is a great deal of fat phobia at o.a. meetings.I'm almost always the largest person there and it's very uncomfortable for me.
Though my eating has naturally calmed down over the last several years I've recently experienced a setback.I'm experiencing a great deal of change in my life at the present and so to deal with the stress, the loneliness and the uncertainity i've turned back to disordered eating.
I'm hoping that by starting this thread people will feel free to share some of their experiences.We might not be able to solve each others issues but it's good to know that there are other fat and/or size positive people who are struggling with disordered eating as well.
