I just want to say that I'm posting this in the clubhouse because I feel more comfortable about the level of privacy in here.
I've been involved on and off with size acceptance since about 95,96 and yet I still struggle with accepting my size.Most days I'm able to shrug off the negativity flung at me and my fatness by the world at large.I remind myself of what really matters, take in all the positive stuff that comes my way and try to insulate myself from any anti-fat energy I might feel is being directed at me.Most days I'm fairly successful at this and I don't let myself get down about how the world sometimes treats me because of the fact that I'm a woman who weighs somewhere in the 390s.
However some days or some weeks even,it's tough as hell and I feel as if I can't deal with one more bit of fat negativity.It's days like these where If I have to deal with one more look or smirk that I just want to take my fat off,tuck it away neatly into a drawer,and forget about it until I feel that I'm strong enough to once again pull it out,put it on and deal with it.I just want a break sometimes...You know?
I just get so beyond frustrated because I feel as if most people will never,ever see beyond my size.Yes,I'm fat but there is *so* much more to me then my size.Sometimes being fat feels as if my privacy is constantly being invaded because I have an "issue" that is so visible for the whole world to see and pass judgement on.I'm just wondering does anyone else struggle with similar feelings? What do you do to get past them?
I realize that this post is perhaps a bit whiny,but I really,really needed to talk about these issues in a place that feels safe.If you made it this far,I thank you.
Liz
I've been involved on and off with size acceptance since about 95,96 and yet I still struggle with accepting my size.Most days I'm able to shrug off the negativity flung at me and my fatness by the world at large.I remind myself of what really matters, take in all the positive stuff that comes my way and try to insulate myself from any anti-fat energy I might feel is being directed at me.Most days I'm fairly successful at this and I don't let myself get down about how the world sometimes treats me because of the fact that I'm a woman who weighs somewhere in the 390s.
However some days or some weeks even,it's tough as hell and I feel as if I can't deal with one more bit of fat negativity.It's days like these where If I have to deal with one more look or smirk that I just want to take my fat off,tuck it away neatly into a drawer,and forget about it until I feel that I'm strong enough to once again pull it out,put it on and deal with it.I just want a break sometimes...You know?
I just get so beyond frustrated because I feel as if most people will never,ever see beyond my size.Yes,I'm fat but there is *so* much more to me then my size.Sometimes being fat feels as if my privacy is constantly being invaded because I have an "issue" that is so visible for the whole world to see and pass judgement on.I'm just wondering does anyone else struggle with similar feelings? What do you do to get past them?
I realize that this post is perhaps a bit whiny,but I really,really needed to talk about these issues in a place that feels safe.If you made it this far,I thank you.
Liz
