Does anyone else HATE this fetish?

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balthyes

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I'm cis-hetero F with a fat fetish. But I'm also not kinky...It is so hard for me to find fat men who just... idk... like food and are okay with being fat without literally wanting to specifically gain or be fed... And who are okay with it all being a turn-on for me.

I have a new partner who is large (I think obese) and loves food. He loves that I love his squishy bits and he loves that I am happy to indulge his love of food.

But... He said tonight that he is into health, specifically "building muscle and losing fat". How, though, can I be okay with this?

I really, really like him. We have a fantastic dynamic and he is incredibly attractive to me. So far, he eats a lot in my presence. But if he ultimately wants to lose weight?

I don't want to lose attraction to him. I HATE that this dumb fetish means I can get so negatively fixated about weight loss. I KNOW that this fetish HURTS me when a partner loses weight, even if my (non-physical) feelings stay intact.

Help??

Uggghh if I could turn this fetish off I would...
 
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My friend...if I had a dime for every time I've heard people say, in and out of this community, "That's it, I'm going on a regimen! Going to lose fat and gain muscle!" I'd have..a lot of dimes.

It lasts about a day, these resolutions.

People say a lot of things.

You just met the guy.

Time will tell.

"Hate" is a strong word. The answer is no, don't hate the kink. (I don't call it a "fetish.")
 
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balthyes

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Oh interesting. I don't consider myself kinky AT ALL. I guess for me, kink is sexual acts, while a fetish is a sexual attraction...

I do know he did get "thin", on purpose, some 10 years ago. It seems he could go that way again any time he sets his mind to it.

But for now all I can do is enjoy what is now and deal with any changes if they come.
 

Donna

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Okay, folks, let Nanny Donna explain the birds and bees, and kink.

Kink, ** according to sexuality psychological researcher Samuel Hughes, is "any consensual, non-traditional sexual or sensual behaviors." This includes BDSM, LGBTQI+, feederism, fetishes, intersectionality. So, a fetish is a kink, but not all kinks are fetishes. If it isn't the conservative idea of a man with a woman, sexuality experts consider it a "kink."

Fetish ** in this context refers to "a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked abnormally to an object or part of the body." People are NOT objects, neither are they single body parts. (It goes without saying, but I'm feeling more than a little pedantic today.)

Sexual Attraction ** is the desire to engage in sexual activity with a person or person(s).

Now, for a bit of a rant: Fat people are NOT fetishes. We are not inanimate objects. If you are attracted to a fat person(s), than that is a sexual attraction. it has been argued that FA/FFA is an orientation, but I disagree. Sexual orientation stems from gender and not body composition. It makes my eyeballs itch when an FA or FFA refers to a fat person as a fetish or that their attraction is a fetish.

And lastly, some unsolicited advice from an old woman who has been around the block a couple times and learned a few things: Do not commit to a long-term relationship unless you are willing to accept that the other person may at some point change. Just like you should never go into a relationship expecting you can change the other person, you must accept that somewhere during the long haul they will change somehow. Age, accident, illness can all change a person. You will change and so will your partner.

Keep that in mind and best of luck.

**And for the record, the word kink is not pejorative. In fact, none of the kinks, fetishes, and sexual attractions I've written about carry a negative connotation. They are descriptors only.
 

Angelette

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While I am mainly attracted to handsome fat men. I definitely think personality, being funny, and kind can be sexy as well. Regardless if the man is fat or not. Even I had a few skinny crushes in the past. But I get where you are coming from and I hope your mental health heals.
 
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Angelette

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ad4b23b9aec7e9021edb00101815526d8d27f5a3r1-456-375_hq.gif

Just a gif to cheer you up!
 
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balthyes

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Okay, folks, let Nanny Donna explain the birds and bees, and kink.

Kink, ** according to sexuality psychological researcher Samuel Hughes, is "any consensual, non-traditional sexual or sensual behaviors." This includes BDSM, LGBTQI+, feederism, fetishes, intersectionality. So, a fetish is a kink, but not all kinks are fetishes. If it isn't the conservative idea of a man with a woman, sexuality experts consider it a "kink."

Fetish ** in this context refers to "a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked abnormally to an object or part of the body." People are NOT objects, neither are they single body parts. (It goes without saying, but I'm feeling more than a little pedantic today.)

Sexual Attraction ** is the desire to engage in sexual activity with a person or person(s).

Now, for a bit of a rant: Fat people are NOT fetishes. We are not inanimate objects. If you are attracted to a fat person(s), than that is a sexual attraction. it has been argued that FA/FFA is an orientation, but I disagree. Sexual orientation stems from gender and not body composition. It makes my eyeballs itch when an FA or FFA refers to a fat person as a fetish or that their attraction is a fetish.

And lastly, some unsolicited advice from an old woman who has been around the block a couple times and learned a few things: Do not commit to a long-term relationship unless you are willing to accept that the other person may at some point change. Just like you should never go into a relationship expecting you can change the other person, you must accept that somewhere during the long haul they will change somehow. Age, accident, illness can all change a person. You will change and so will your partner.

Keep that in mind and best of luck.

**And for the record, the word kink is not pejorative. In fact, none of the kinks, fetishes, and sexual attractions I've written about carry a negative connotation. They are descriptors only.
This is why I don't consider myself kinky. Because it's about behaviours.

Fat people aren't fetishes. But their fat parts can be a fetish: "gratification is linked abnormally to an object or part of the body". And OMG I love a fat belly.

Is it "normal" to be gratified by fat bits?

Anyway, I am clearly not fetishizing this *person*.

Do you have any advice? Because I'd really like some. I *really* like this person as a person. But also, I am very attracted to him as he is -- fat. If he ever becomes not-fat, and the physical/sexual attraction is not the same as it was??

This can happen to anyone, right? "Normies" love their partners but may lose attraction when they *gain* weight.

I can't help but feel this is different though. I've never heard of anyone with "normal" attractions feeling *pain* when a partner's weight fluctuates beyond their attraction. I've only heard of this from people with a fetish.
 
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balthyes

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While I am mainly attracted to handsome fat men. I definitely think personality, being funny, and kind can be sexy as well. Regardless if the man is fat or not. Even I had a few skinny crushes in the past. But I get where you are coming from and I hope your mental health heals.
Thank you. I can find not-fat men aesthetically appealing. But attraction is something else when they are fat. And them starting fat but losing weight is HARD!
 

Donna

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Fat people aren't fetishes. But their fat parts can be a fetish: "gratification is linked abnormally to an object or part of the body". And OMG I love a fat belly.
Is it "normal" to be gratified by fat bits?

Anyway, I am clearly not fetishizing this *person*.

Do you have any advice? Because I'd really like some. I *really* like this person as a person. But also, I am very attracted to him as he is -- fat. If he ever becomes not-fat, and the physical/sexual attraction is not the same as it was??

This can happen to anyone, right? "Normies" love their partners but may lose attraction when they *gain* weight.

I can't help but feel this is different though. I've never heard of anyone with "normal" attractions feeling *pain* when a partner's weight fluctuates beyond their attraction. I've only heard of this from people with a fetish.
Is it normal to be gratified by fat bits? Depends…is it common or something a majority of people like? No. But for those of us who are, it’s part of how we’re wired, so it’s definitely normal.

Advice? I’ve got tons, but take any advice with a grain of salt. If you like him for him, and the fat belly is icing on the cake, then you’re probably going to still be attracted to him if he does lose weight and add muscle. I’m assuming you’re young—early twenties? I’m older than Moses, so like I said, I’ve been around the block a time or two. In the nearly twenty years that my husband and I have been together, we’ve both changed. But our love for each other is still there because it has changed with us. Sometimes the transitional times can be difficult, but if you maintain honest communication and with a little luck, you weather the changes.

Let’s remove fat from the equation for a moment. Imagine instead of finding belies erotic (goodness they are, though 😊) long, dark, thick hair gets your motor purring. Age, or perhaps illness, takes away your lover’s long hair and they go bald. Or their dark hair turns gray. Or they decided to cut it, color it. Would you dump him?

And yes, “normies” ( I prefer conventionally sized) can and do lose their attraction to their partner if they gain weight or change certain key aspects of their appearance. How cliche is the middle aged, balding man divorcing his fat, graying wife so he can bump uglies with his young, nubile secretary?

Is the relationship too new that you would be uncomfortable sharing your feelings with him? Could he possibly be thinking he needs to change because he thinks you’ll want him more if he is thinner and more muscular? In talking it out, you might find something else that turns you on as much as his belly.

Good luck.
 

balthyes

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Is it normal to be gratified by fat bits? Depends…is it common or something a majority of people like? No. But for those of us who are, it’s part of how we’re wired, so it’s definitely normal.

Advice? I’ve got tons, but take any advice with a grain of salt. If you like him for him, and the fat belly is icing on the cake, then you’re probably going to still be attracted to him if he does lose weight and add muscle. I’m assuming you’re young—early twenties? I’m older than Moses, so like I said, I’ve been around the block a time or two. In the nearly twenty years that my husband and I have been together, we’ve both changed. But our love for each other is still there because it has changed with us. Sometimes the transitional times can be difficult, but if you maintain honest communication and with a little luck, you weather the changes.

Let’s remove fat from the equation for a moment. Imagine instead of finding belies erotic (goodness they are, though 😊) long, dark, thick hair gets your motor purring. Age, or perhaps illness, takes away your lover’s long hair and they go bald. Or their dark hair turns gray. Or they decided to cut it, color it. Would you dump him?

And yes, “normies” ( I prefer conventionally sized) can and do lose their attraction to their partner if they gain weight or change certain key aspects of their appearance. How cliche is the middle aged, balding man divorcing his fat, graying wife so he can bump uglies with his young, nubile secretary?

Is the relationship too new that you would be uncomfortable sharing your feelings with him? Could he possibly be thinking he needs to change because he thinks you’ll want him more if he is thinner and more muscular? In talking it out, you might find something else that turns you on as much as his belly.

Good luck.
Thanks, I really appreciate your advice.

I'm 40 actually. Also polyamorous and one of my relationships is over a decade, so I do understand the whole "unconditional love" thing.

This guy knows about my attraction. I met him on a plus-size app and was upfront about it. He has given me unfettered access to his belly and loves the attention (yay!). So yeah, he wouldn't be assuming I would want him to lose weight!

The whole problem is that for me this is not comparable to any other physical changes. I've never been attracted to baldness but that's negligible compared to love/whole-person attraction.

Yes, I could still love someone who goes from fat to thin. I could still be physically attracted to them, even. But - and I don't even know how to describe this really - when it comes to this fetish (I will always call it that because it's something else entirely to other attractions or preferences I have) it will be really upsetting. It's like grief and hurt, feelings which can of course interfere with other feelings. The best I can do is try and bury it.

Haha, I meant "normies" in the sense of people who don't have this kind of attraction (the way it is for me).

Edited to add: Maaayyybe part of it is that it's technically something they can control. I get upset when they choose to change in that way, frustrated because of course I have no right to a say, and angry with myself for not being able (mentally and emotionally) to be impartial and supportive. And of course I'm unable to express any of this, because it's not fair to a partner to make them feel bad about their own body choices. I wouldn't want them to know I feel sad and am losing (a very specific type of) attraction to them.
 
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Anomaly

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Yes, I can totally relate to this.

I describe my sexuality as a fetish as well. Medically, I believe it's termed a paraphilia. The analogy with hair, I absolutely like a man with nice hair, same as I like him to be dressed nicely. It's a turn-on and it's part of the initial impression someone creates. But it absolutely doesn't matter to me if a man is bald if he's fat and I like his personality. Hair fetishists no doubt exist, but they would be people who obsess over the sight and feel of their partners' hair, and sexual acts for these people would have to specifically involve hair.

Having nice hair would be a preference for me, but being fat is non-negotiable, in that I am not attracted to men who are not fat, same as I'm not physically attracted to women. The first relationship I attempted to have was with a man who was not fat, because he had a wonderful personality, and people tell you that appearance shouldn't matter and if you like someone as a person the rest will come. I wanted it to be true because he was such a great person to be with and we really 'got' each other, but it's a lie, and it did neither of us any good.

Some people are very fortunate to have the potential to be attracted to a wide range of physical attributes in a partner. For some people, being attracted to fat people is just a preference. I wish it was that way with me. I would like to still find fat bodies beautiful, but be capable of enjoying bodies that aren't fat as well. Instead, sexual attraction for me is specifically someone's backside/thighs/moobs/double chin, and sexual acts have to involve those parts in order to be sexy. This is an attraction to body parts normally considered 'non sexual' i.e. adipose depots. It is objectifying other people and it's a part of myself I don't like for this reason, and also probably because of fatphobia in the environment I grew up in. But all physical attractions technically objectify other people, and we don't get any choice in what we're attracted to. It's just this particular way of being has specific difficulties because some fat people (not all of them) experience health issues and some fat people (not all of them) are unhappy and want to change their bodies, and it can make it very difficult to find partners and have long-term relationships. For a lot of fat people, a partner who loves their body the way it is just isn't what they're seeking.

I'm also in my early 40s and I've found all my life it's very difficult to come across people I'm attracted to. When I have found someone, frequently it turned out that the person had no interest in me. The most intense and downright painful attractions I experienced always involved someone who had the body type I liked combined with certain personality traits and interests I could really relate to, and frequently it seemed had no interest in having relationships with anyone.

I am currently in a long-term relationship with a man who when I met him was overweight rather than fat. He has lost weight as he's got older (not deliberately) particularly around his face and I'm honestly not physically attracted to him any more. That's not to say I don't love him or I would dump him, but I feel unfulfilled that way in my life and it's a source of frustration and disappointment. I've never had a relationship with someone I was strongly attracted to body mind and soul, and the age I am now I expect it will never happen, and it's all because my brain is wired up this way. I was more optimistic when I was younger.

The only thing I can suggest is that if you're attracted to this man now, enjoy the relationship for however long it works. Also that, as you're a similar age to me, I think a lot of my resentment of my fetish and general dissatisfaction are a middle-age thing, and apparently it's quite common at some point in your 40s or 50s to regret what you haven't achieved and feel nostalgia for what you might have lost, and feel futility that what you have got that's good isn't going to last. If you read the research on it, it does find that this goes away with time and people feel more optimistic again as they get older.
 

balthyes

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Yes, I can totally relate to this.

I describe my sexuality as a fetish as well. Medically, I believe it's termed a paraphilia. The analogy with hair, I absolutely like a man with nice hair, same as I like him to be dressed nicely. It's a turn-on and it's part of the initial impression someone creates. But it absolutely doesn't matter to me if a man is bald if he's fat and I like his personality. Hair fetishists no doubt exist, but they would be people who obsess over the sight and feel of their partners' hair, and sexual acts for these people would have to specifically involve hair.

Having nice hair would be a preference for me, but being fat is non-negotiable, in that I am not attracted to men who are not fat, same as I'm not physically attracted to women. The first relationship I attempted to have was with a man who was not fat, because he had a wonderful personality, and people tell you that appearance shouldn't matter and if you like someone as a person the rest will come. I wanted it to be true because he was such a great person to be with and we really 'got' each other, but it's a lie, and it did neither of us any good.

Some people are very fortunate to have the potential to be attracted to a wide range of physical attributes in a partner. For some people, being attracted to fat people is just a preference. I wish it was that way with me. I would like to still find fat bodies beautiful, but be capable of enjoying bodies that aren't fat as well. Instead, sexual attraction for me is specifically someone's backside/thighs/moobs/double chin, and sexual acts have to involve those parts in order to be sexy. This is an attraction to body parts normally considered 'non sexual' i.e. adipose depots. It is objectifying other people and it's a part of myself I don't like for this reason, and also probably because of fatphobia in the environment I grew up in. But all physical attractions technically objectify other people, and we don't get any choice in what we're attracted to. It's just this particular way of being has specific difficulties because some fat people (not all of them) experience health issues and some fat people (not all of them) are unhappy and want to change their bodies, and it can make it very difficult to find partners and have long-term relationships. For a lot of fat people, a partner who loves their body the way it is just isn't what they're seeking.

I'm also in my early 40s and I've found all my life it's very difficult to come across people I'm attracted to. When I have found someone, frequently it turned out that the person had no interest in me. The most intense and downright painful attractions I experienced always involved someone who had the body type I liked combined with certain personality traits and interests I could really relate to, and frequently it seemed had no interest in having relationships with anyone.

I am currently in a long-term relationship with a man who when I met him was overweight rather than fat. He has lost weight as he's got older (not deliberately) particularly around his face and I'm honestly not physically attracted to him any more. That's not to say I don't love him or I would dump him, but I feel unfulfilled that way in my life and it's a source of frustration and disappointment. I've never had a relationship with someone I was strongly attracted to body mind and soul, and the age I am now I expect it will never happen, and it's all because my brain is wired up this way. I was more optimistic when I was younger.

The only thing I can suggest is that if you're attracted to this man now, enjoy the relationship for however long it works. Also that, as you're a similar age to me, I think a lot of my resentment of my fetish and general dissatisfaction are a middle-age thing, and apparently it's quite common at some point in your 40s or 50s to regret what you haven't achieved and feel nostalgia for what you might have lost, and feel futility that what you have got that's good isn't going to last. If you read the research on it, it does find that this goes away with time and people feel more optimistic again as they get older.
Thank you very much for your reply. I'm glad to hear from someone who understands it.

I always thought I was sexually attracted to a range of body types and fat bodies were just "something extra". I think I'm realising that that "something extra" is actually sexual (rather than just aesthetic) attraction.

Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of "fat" experience most of my life. The fetish was a deep, dark secret for me, and something I never thought I'd ever say to anyone. I think because I'm small, bigger guys assumed I wouldn't be interested so didn't approach or respond to my approaches.

The bigger guys I did get into relationships with were always guys who had gained weight and wanted to lose it. Plus I didn't realise monogamy wasn't for me, so those relationships always ended anyway.

Assuming things keep going well with this guy, I don't want it only to last if he stays fat. I don't want to be a shallow person who prioritises looks. I know weight loss won't kill my feelings for someone, but it does cause me such difficult emotions.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing that in your relationship. I hope you can find some fulfillment somehow, some way.

And if things ever do come to an end, don't rule out any possibilities.
 

Angelette

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I will admit I am in the same boat. I don't think I will ever find true love. I'm also special ed and have server social anxiety along with niche taste. I think I will grow up lonely and be by myself.

This is why I think suicide is my answer. I am sorry everyone.
 

balthyes

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I will admit I am in the same boat. I don't think I will ever find true love. I'm also special ed and have server social anxiety along with niche taste. I think I will grow up lonely and be by myself.

This is why I think suicide is my answer. I am sorry everyone.
Oh no, please don't do that!

True love isn't everything, but it's also not impossible for anyone to find.

Try everything you can to help your social anxiety.

Take one day at a time.

By the way, life tends to get better as you get older. Please give yourself more time.
 

Anomaly

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I will admit I am in the same boat. I don't think I will ever find true love. I'm also special ed and have server social anxiety along with niche taste. I think I will grow up lonely and be by myself.

This is why I think suicide is my answer. I am sorry everyone.
Please, please contact a mental health helpline if you are feeling suicidal. I can't post information here as I don't know what country you are in, but please google it and get the support you need. Having the relationship you want is not the only thing in life worth having and it does overall get easier as you get older. But it can feel very unfair particularly at certain ages (when you are young being one, and when you are having a midlife crisis being the other).

Thank you very much for your reply. I'm glad to hear from someone who understands it.

I always thought I was sexually attracted to a range of body types and fat bodies were just "something extra". I think I'm realising that that "something extra" is actually sexual (rather than just aesthetic) attraction.

Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of "fat" experience most of my life. The fetish was a deep, dark secret for me, and something I never thought I'd ever say to anyone. I think because I'm small, bigger guys assumed I wouldn't be interested so didn't approach or respond to my approaches.

The bigger guys I did get into relationships with were always guys who had gained weight and wanted to lose it. Plus I didn't realise monogamy wasn't for me, so those relationships always ended anyway.

Assuming things keep going well with this guy, I don't want it only to last if he stays fat. I don't want to be a shallow person who prioritises looks. I know weight loss won't kill my feelings for someone, but it does cause me such difficult emotions.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing that in your relationship. I hope you can find some fulfilment somehow, some way.

And if things ever do come to an end, don't rule out any possibilities.

I realised after that first disastrous relationship I tried to have that non-fat people don't do anything for me. The way I can best describe it to other people is that a man who isn't fat looks to me much like a boy who hasn't grown up yet to typical people. Not revolting in any way, but in no way sexual.

I have the same problem as you being a small person! I am a tall person with a lean build. I can't get fat. My metabolism and genes just don't stack that way. I love food and my dream since puberty and I became interested in such things was the company of a big foodie guy to cook and eat with! I find the men who seem to show an interest in me are usually outdoorsy active types, hunters and hikers and that sort of guy. They are often interesting and likeable people but unfortunately I don't find them attractive in that way. I've never come across a big squishy gamekeeper with an arse like a Luton van and they probably don't exist, and it would be so much easier if I could just see something attractive in what's on offer.

My partner has from quite early on been open to the idea of me seeing someone else on the side. We are pretty open with each other about that sort of thing. That said, I've only met one person I was interested in since getting together with my partner, and he wasn't interested back.
 

Donna

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This discussion seems geared more toward admirers than the admired, and even though I identify as both, my default is being the admired so I’m bowing out.
I will admit I am in the same boat. I don't think I will ever find true love. I'm also special ed and have server social anxiety along with niche taste. I think I will grow up lonely and be by myself.

This is why I think suicide is my answer. I am sorry everyone.

@Angelette, please talk to someone about why you feel suicide is your answer. As a survivor I’m here to tell you it is always the wrong answer. You can talk to someone by calling or texting 988 from your smart phone, or if you’d rather text with them:

You’re young; you have a lifetime to find your other person. I didn’t experience my first significant relationship until my thirties. I know someone who is in their sixties who thought their love life was over…a month later they’re in a wonderful, loving relationship. If nothing else, think about your siblings. I recall you saying elsewhere you act as a parent figure to them since your mother is absent and your father is obviously not parenting either. They need you.

If you give up now, you AND your future LTR will be cheated out of your time together. Trust me, it gets better.
 
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I love a lot of the answers given on attraction.
Going back to one of Donna's comments.
Kinky is anything beyond Missionary.
Karma Sutra is not being kinky. It is recognising that pleasurising errotic zones brings release and intimacy. Orgasms until too exhausted to have more is time well spent.
Infatuation with flesh that jiggles. Waddle under the neck. Armpits. Elbows. Legs Breasts. Bellies flat or expansive. What ever you are hard wired to is your thing. Denying who you are will bring depression and self hating. Finding someone who accepts you desire for them, for the traits you desire i them is the search. They are out there.
Back to Blyth first concern.
Do you love him as a person? Do you love his personality, support his life beliefs? Would you allow, accept, aid his goals?
Are you just in lust with him?
DO you know or and understand his choice to loose weight and gain muscle? Is it for practical reasons? Is it because he is feeling ashamed? If so is it right or wrong.
DO you think he is trying to change to see life from the other side of the fence? If so he might come back.
Should I grow a moustach. Two weeks in it is irritating. Return to life without a moustach.
Assess how you really feel. Assess how they really feel and want to do.
He might or might not be your partner. This might be something your relationship goes through to become strong. It might be a sign your search for a partner is not over.
Gather all the facts. Accept reality. Decide on a full life.
 
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Angelette stop reacting in a so defeated way.
*I don't think I will ever find true love.*
I have not found true love yet.
Life has to teach so much more and the cosmos thinks I am not ready yet.
If you meet your true love when you are not grown up enough you will blow it.
*have server social anxiety along with niche taste*
It is a sentient need (and you are a sentient being) to be accepted. You will not be accepted by everybody. Often by no fault of yours. Be yourself, kindness plays a lot in attraction. Genuine in what you say and do.
As for niche taste. Preferences. I want some rich who showers me with social status possessions. That if someone found it is formula to loneliness.
*This is why I think suicide is my answer. I am sorry everyone.*
What is your question because it sounds like a wrong and impertinent question. There 8 billion people out there. One is a good partner to you. You are not in a remote village of 10 people.
Accept who you are, grow as a person every day. Meet and interact with others. 99% will be Hi and Good Bye. Learn about others, as no meeting is a waste of time and life if you grow as a person.
I think it was Moody Blues. "I know you are out there somewhere."
 

stevita

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Dec 7, 2019
Messages
493
Location
Texas
Try to look at the positives!

For example: if he starts going to the gym and putting on muscle, any more fat he incidentally gains will be less of.a burden on his mobility and he'll be able to do fun things with you without getting out of breath or hurting his back. Plus, the strenuous exercise will increase his appetite.

I'm a pretty gung-ho feeder, and I'm lucky to have met a feedee who's the love of my life. But as much as I love fattening him and he loves getting stuffed, I still insist that he accompany me in my exercise so that we don't get to a point where his mobility and quality of life are compromised. Of course, I would love him and stay with him if he decided to get so big that he needed help in and out of the shower and whatnot, but we've had the conversation and decided that that's not the life for us for now.
 

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