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Ex-husband wanted me to lose 20 pounds because certain sex positions were uncomfortable for him.

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Well-Known Member
Aug 22, 2015
Ask if you wanna be friends.,
Fair bit of warning: A bit TMI below!

I have a story to share about which I'd like some opinions. I was once married to a man I met online after 3-4 years of dating. I have always made it a point to show how big I am on dating sites because I don't believe in deceiving potential partners about my body size. I would not want it done to me, so I won't do it to others.

Anyway, we started doing the deed a month or so after meeting. Since I lived at home then, we'd book rooms. A little over a year later, I moved in to his place. He had literally countless opportunities to see how large my belly was, yet he still decided to pursue a relationship, asked me to move in and then married me. If my belly has gotten bigger, it's not by much. He once asked something along the lines of if it's my job to please my hubby. He said that the sex was decent but could be much better if I lost some weight.

He wanted me to lose at least 20 pounds "for my health" but also because my belly made it too uncomfortable for him to do the 69 sex position with me. According to him, my belly pressed down on his chest and/or the surrounding area. Missionary was also out due to, again, my large belly, according to him. In the earlier years, he'd do missionary once in a blue moon "as a treat" for me for less than 10 minutes.

I said that, should I lose weight, it'll be on my terms when I am ready and will be just for me. He did say he was attracted to me, if that matters.

I felt/feel like he was being unfair. He even once said he'd not try to change me because I would not try to change him. Boy, was THAT a lie. He eventually started "forbidding" me to eat certain things, like desserts. No desserts ever, except on my birthday because I am "so overweight."

He lacked empathy in general and concerning me and weight loss was no different. He had/has never, ever, EVER been overweight, obese or morbidly obese, so I am not sure he truly understands what it would take out of me to lose weight and maintain the loss.
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