FA Dating Frustrations

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Volt01

VOLKSWAGEN DRIVING SHORTSTACK LOVING BADASS
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Mar 10, 2019
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Canada
well reality is often disappointing (lol had to make that joke)
but ive been looking for some bigger girls in my area but they all seem to smoke or have boyfriends.
 

BigElectricKat

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How's this for screwed up: I've never smoked (anything) and never will. I dislike smoking immensely. But I've kissed gals who smoked and found it to be a turn-on. What's up with that?!?!?o_O
 
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Volt01

VOLKSWAGEN DRIVING SHORTSTACK LOVING BADASS
Joined
Mar 10, 2019
Messages
173
Location
Canada
I have a similar problem, all of the women that I'd be into in my area are taken. Or consider me to be unworthy of consideration. Someone actually told me that recently! How rude!
same here, when i asked a plus size girl out to prom she said she would rather go alone.
 

Volt01

VOLKSWAGEN DRIVING SHORTSTACK LOVING BADASS
Joined
Mar 10, 2019
Messages
173
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Canada
It like, I'm not going to say that any woman owes me anything at all. But I respectfully request that I not be treated like I'm less than garbage. That shit hurts. Okay, getting off-topic, rant over. Sorry folks!
its ok same thing happens to me. ill find someone eventually
 

Volt01

VOLKSWAGEN DRIVING SHORTSTACK LOVING BADASS
Joined
Mar 10, 2019
Messages
173
Location
Canada
The guys lamenting no BBWs available in their areas, I’d you read nothing else, read @DragonFly post above and read the post I’ve quoted here.

Between the defenses some women construct for the reasons she lays out and the day to day challenges larger girls face (see the post I quoted) you definitely need to be ready to 1) navigate through a complex minefield of emotional issues and 2) be ready to settle in for the long haul when helping her deal with daily frustrations.

The member I quoted hasn’t posted in some time, but it may as well have been my wife posting what she did. Every single one of her frustrations are things I’ve seen my wife grapple with too.

It isn’t always fun. It isn’t always glamorous. It damn sure isn’t always sexy. It’s a lot to deal with at times. And just “liking fat girls” is not going to be enough to get you in. Each person is unique and may not be motivated by the same things that other bigger girls value.

Like I said, it’s a complex minefield. And even once you find the one you’re not done. At that point you’re only getting started!
oof yeah i never found the one yet but i hope to get rid of this curse lol
 

TwoSwords

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Jan 7, 2017
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622
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, Male
The guys lamenting no BBWs available in their areas, I’d you read nothing else, read @DragonFly post above and read the post I’ve quoted here.

Between the defenses some women construct for the reasons she lays out and the day to day challenges larger girls face (see the post I quoted) you definitely need to be ready to 1) navigate through a complex minefield of emotional issues and 2) be ready to settle in for the long haul when helping her deal with daily frustrations.

The member I quoted hasn’t posted in some time, but it may as well have been my wife posting what she did. Every single one of her frustrations are things I’ve seen my wife grapple with too.

It isn’t always fun. It isn’t always glamorous. It damn sure isn’t always sexy. It’s a lot to deal with at times. And just “liking fat girls” is not going to be enough to get you in. Each person is unique and may not be motivated by the same things that other bigger girls value.

Like I said, it’s a complex minefield. And even once you find the one you’re not done. At that point you’re only getting started!
It's naive to suppose that the person you meet will never be upset or need support in anything, but I haven't seen anyone supposing that yet. However, when two people are part of a relationship, and one consistently puts down roadblocks and the other doesn't, guess which one is more responsible if it fails?

Each person is responsible for their own actions, and when someone chooses to treat others with prejudice, based on some irrelevant experiences, that's on them.

What I would say is that generally, if a woman is kind, confident, open, friendly, but not arrogant, then she probably is either married or involved with someone, and for good reason. People are drawn to those who accept personal responsibility, intentionally find solutions to their problems and make themselves likable as people. Victims are not romantic.
 

happily_married

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It's naive to suppose that the person you meet will never be upset or need support in anything, but I haven't seen anyone supposing that yet. However, when two people are part of a relationship, and one consistently puts down roadblocks and the other doesn't, guess which one is more responsible if it fails?

Each person is responsible for their own actions, and when someone chooses to treat others with prejudice, based on some irrelevant experiences, that's on them.

What I would say is that generally, if a woman is kind, confident, open, friendly, but not arrogant, then she probably is either married or involved with someone, and for good reason. People are drawn to those who accept personal responsibility, intentionally find solutions to their problems and make themselves likable as people. Victims are not romantic.
You’re right about those roadblocks when someone is already in a relationship. But the post I referenced was speaking to defenses not IN a relationship but in meeting people. To dismiss experiences as “irrelevant” undermines life’s most important teacher.

A person, any person, owes it to himself or herself to learn from experience. If a woman has been burned a few times by guys who claim to be okay with her weight, is it not reasonable for her to start exercising more caution with future prospective guys? Thats not necessarily prejudice so much as prudence.

Definitely agree with your last paragraph.
 

TwoSwords

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, Male
You’re right about those roadblocks when someone is already in a relationship. But the post I referenced was speaking to defenses not IN a relationship but in meeting people. To dismiss experiences as “irrelevant” undermines life’s most important teacher.

A person, any person, owes it to himself or herself to learn from experience. If a woman has been burned a few times by guys who claim to be okay with her weight, is it not reasonable for her to start exercising more caution with future prospective guys? Thats not necessarily prejudice so much as prudence.
I don't really disagree per se, but I think it can go either way. A person can learn to be prudent and cautious, but that's not "punishing" others as such. Taken too far, however, it can turn into an ironclad self-fulfilling prophecy.

Definitely agree with your last paragraph.
Sweet! :)
 

lostinadaydream

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Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
258
Location
Germany
Not only that many of the fat women around already have boyfriends. But also the ones I know have some self-esteem just in the foreground. In the background they all want to do or have done WLS which makes me wanna cry. They want to be loved but reject people which them really want and love. Then they do WLS and lose all what I find sexy.
 

BigElectricKat

Are you intelligent?
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May 22, 2017
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St Louis Area
i need to be well prepared for a relationship since i never had any.
I hate to break it to you but it's hard to be "prepared" for any relationship. Every relationship is like a science experiment: you are putting two unknown chemicals together and watching to see how they react. Sometimes you mix water with alcohol and there doesn't seem to be anything really going on. Sometimes you mix oil and vinegar and it mixes together well for a while but then separates again. Then there's sodium iodide mixed with hydrogen peroxide. It can be an explosive, expanding result. You never know what you are going to get when you initially bring two people together.
 

HUGEisElegant

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Joined
Jun 17, 2019
Messages
516
Location
Ontario, Canada
I hate to break it to you but it's hard to be "prepared" for any relationship. Every relationship is like a science experiment: you are putting two unknown chemicals together and watching to see how they react. Sometimes you mix water with alcohol and there doesn't seem to be anything really going on. Sometimes you mix oil and vinegar and it mixes together well for a while but then separates again. Then there's sodium iodide mixed with hydrogen peroxide. It can be an explosive, expanding result. You never know what you are going to get when you initially bring two people together.
Nice analogy. :) I'm looking for a peas 'n carrots kind of thing. :p
 
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