I Am Struggling With Depression

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moore2me

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I had listened to many of you in this Forum describe how isolated you are in the "grip" of depression. No one in your family understands you and you feel like you are letting your family down by not feeling up or contented.

This may be further from the truth than you realize. Often depression can be an inherited syndrome or trait - however some relatives may be better at hiding it or rerouting the effects than other sufferers. If you draw out a family tree diagram of your blood kin and indicate which ones carried the symptoms of depression - you might be surprised. The key issue is who were carriers? Some of your kin hide it well and you (or others) never knew it was an issue.

Others that we plagued with depression, had larger problems that over-rode any mental issues and ended their lives early before the mechanholy sapped the person's life blood. Examples of these folks would be men or women that died in wars, died in childbirth, died from other diseases (like the Spanish Influenza), or accidents such as killed by horses or mining, or died from diseases that may not kill nowdays like blood poisoning, pneumonia, or tetanus. We also lost people to starvation, shipwrecks, and violence. These men and women that died early, could have expressed genetic tendency towards depression - it just didn't get a chance to fully develop because the person died early.

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A second family link that may not depend on blood kin to pass on depression could be behavioral, family customs, environmental factors, and how your clan deals with stress. For example, if family members never talk about their problems and keep everything to themselves - this has to create some internal angst. Or if women are traded by arranged marriages to the highest bidders to older men this must include great stress for the women. Another example, if the women have to drop out of public school in the 8th grade to begin their jobs as housewives - more stress but it cannot be talked about. A final example might be men that come back from horrible wars oveseas but cannot talk to their wife or kids about what they witnessed and did.

So, you may not be alone within your family members experiencing depression. You just may be the only one talking about it - or you might be the only one living into your 30s or 40s (or more) due to previous other risks in our society. So, you may want to talk to some older relatives or do some field investigations about means of family members deaths.
 

Surlysomething

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Worst i've felt in a very long time.
Scary bad.
+ Christmas
+ heartbreak



tonight it's anxiety + too much family too fast + upset stomach + don't care
 

Marlayna

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I've found that Prozac works pretty well for me. I used to get very down and stay there for weeks on end sometimes, now I rarely get that low, and the depression usually lasts about a day or two.:)
I've explained my depression to my husband, as "bad weather". It comes out of nowhere, then after a while, the sun shines again. It's beyond my control when it will hit.:(
I really should have taken anti-depressants years ago, I don't know why I fought it, it would have saved me a lot of sorrow.:rolleyes:
 

CarlaSixx

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My mother realized yesterday how much antidepressants changed even her, now she's pushing for me to always take mine. She didn't believe me that they work, but she found herself laughing and having fun so easily. And wasn't depressed about being in the hospital again at all. At least Cipralex worked for her. I'm on Wellbutrin now. It's sorta helped for smoking so far. Can't say much about the depression part yet.
 

Marlayna

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My mother realized yesterday how much antidepressants changed even her, now she's pushing for me to always take mine. She didn't believe me that they work, but she found herself laughing and having fun so easily. And wasn't depressed about being in the hospital again at all. At least Cipralex worked for her. I'm on Wellbutrin now. It's sorta helped for smoking so far. Can't say much about the depression part yet.
Great news about your mom. A couple of years ago, I decided that I was "cured" of my depression, and I didn't want to be tied to a daily pill for the rest of my life, so I slowly weaned myself off them. The depression came back with a vengeance, and it scared the hell out of me. I'm NEVER doing that again.
When I read about people in the news who've killed themselves, I always say, there but for the grace of Prozac, go I.:D
 

Sweetie

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I feel much better today. Much.

Hope you're feeling good too, Mr.
I'm glad you're feeling better today. I thought I was the only one who had depression the way I did. I thought that I was strange because one day I could be ok and the next I'd be so bad I wished I could just go to sleep and never wake up. Sometimes its so scary just for the fact that I never know how I'm going to be feeling when I open my eyes in the morning and I can't even say its because of what's happening in my life...so confusing.. :(
 

Surlysomething

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Mine is pretty cyclical, but when I have a tremendous loss of any kind I go down pretty fast.

I have some great friends and family though and I try and embrace the good days. Today was one of them.


Merry Christmas!

I'm glad you're feeling better today. I thought I was the only one who had depression the way I did. I thought that I was strange because one day I could be ok and the next I'd be so bad I wished I could just go to sleep and never wake up. Sometimes its so scary just for the fact that I never know how I'm going to be feeling when I open my eyes in the morning and I can't even say its because of what's happening in my life...so confusing.. :(
 

Surlysomething

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And today i'm back to the bad. :(

Insomnia, panic, anxiety. Called into work sick because I can't handle it.
Driving to Tim Horton's at 6 am to sit in the parking lot drinking coffee and staring at traffic for an hour. Can't turn off my brain.

I think I need to get something sorted out with my Dr before it gets worse.

:(

Mine is pretty cyclical, but when I have a tremendous loss of any kind I go down pretty fast.

I have some great friends and family though and I try and embrace the good days. Today was one of them.


Merry Christmas!
 

Webmaster

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And today i'm back to the bad. :(

Insomnia, panic, anxiety. Called into work sick because I can't handle it.
Driving to Tim Horton's at 6 am to sit in the parking lot drinking coffee and staring at traffic for an hour. Can't turn off my brain.

I think I need to get something sorted out with my Dr before it gets worse.

:(
So sorry to hear that. I've always loved the time between Christmas and New Year because it's the one week of the year where time just sort of stands still and no one expects anything much of anything to be or get done. For me it's a magical time, and this morning even more so, what with misty fog outside and the Christmas tree still all lit. I hope you feel better real soon. There's a lot of good things in life, though it's not always easy to see it and feel it.
 

Surlysomething

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I used to love it as well. I think in theory I still do, but in reality my life isn't the same as it once was.

And thank you. This too shall pass.




So sorry to hear that. I've always loved the time between Christmas and New Year because it's the one week of the year where time just sort of stands still and no one expects anything much of anything to be or get done. For me it's a magical time, and this morning even more so, what with misty fog outside and the Christmas tree still all lit. I hope you feel better real soon. There's a lot of good things in life, though it's not always easy to see it and feel it.
 

Marlayna

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Things don't get better.. they just get different.

Who do you talk to when you have so much to say, but no one to understand?
I write to myself. I ask myself what's bothering me and I write and write till everything is out. Then I ask myself all the possible solutions to my problems, and I write down as many things as I can think of, some doable, some not.
I put it away and read it the next day. I circle the problems and the solutions that are viable, then I proceed to act on them.
Just defining them, and putting them on paper brings them into focus, and I feel like I've "talked" to the person that knows me and loves me best, and I try to take my own advice. That alone will put me on a more positive path and can lift the cloud of confusion.
 

x0emnem0x

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Yes writing helps, it seems to help me a lot. I have been keeping online journals since I was like 12. (I tried book journals, my hand hurts from all the shit I wanna write, typing is much easier). I always usually end up deleting the blogs after sometimes but I know that if I need to start up again I can, usually I use xanga... I just started a new journal a few weeks ago, it's seemed to help somewhat. Just write everything out.
 

x0emnem0x

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I used to have someone to talk to but recently they decided to cut me out of their lives so now I only have me because I finally realized once again you can't rely on anyone but yourself, and sometimes even that's hard to believe.
 

HDANGEL15

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I have been so damn busy running around walking dogs at 3 houses, over seeing my own house construction, adopting my own kitty/doggy ...that I failed to remember that I was out of EFFEXOR for 3 days....and was starting to tweak out.....by the time I remembered to call it in last nite at 6:30pm...I was sitting and crying in the grocery store over a series of texts....granted a friend did hurt my feelings and I felt left out....with proper meds I WOULD NOT BE CRYING IN THE GROCERY STORE lmao.....yes I can laugh about it today...showing me that they truly help me so much
 

Sweetie

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I have been so damn busy running around walking dogs at 3 houses, over seeing my own house construction, adopting my own kitty/doggy ...that I failed to remember that I was out of EFFEXOR for 3 days....and was starting to tweak out.....by the time I remembered to call it in last nite at 6:30pm...I was sitting and crying in the grocery store over a series of texts....granted a friend did hurt my feelings and I felt left out....with proper meds I WOULD NOT BE CRYING IN THE GROCERY STORE lmao.....yes I can laugh about it today...showing me that they truly help me so much
OMG I'm so sorry that happened to you. :( I used Effexor at one time and the withdrawal experience was the most horrendous thing I've ever gone through. It didn't really help me much more than the old standby Prozac but was way more expensive so I asked the dr. to get me off it and back on Prozac. If she had warned me of how bad the withdrawal would be I think I would have tried to figure out a way to afford it before I would have gone off. I'm glad you have your scrip refilled...relief is on its way. :)
 

Surlysomething

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Effexor has a reeeeeally short half life.
I will be ok for a full day before I refill but after that the withdrawal is swift and horrifying.

Don't mess with the head meds.
 
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