Hi, everyone!!! 
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Crystal, and I'm so happy to have found this site. Consider this my "coming out."
I spent my whole life thinking there was something wrong with me for being an FA and having secret fantasies/desires of getting fat myself.
I've been dieting my entire adult life and I'm sick of it. I'm not sure if I have the guts to get really fat just yet, but I'm sure I'll gain just by the mere act of stopping the craziness of dieting all the time. It's felt like being on the edge of a cliff my whole life. You see, it's probably in my genes to be fat. It's like I've been fighting the inevitable this whole time, and it's exhausting.
Anyway, I am so grateful to you all, and I appreciate everyone's posts.
Thank you. I'm going to allow myself to have some french fries tonight. :eat2:
Crystal.
P.S. I've already gained like 10 pounds since coming onto this site. I currently weigh 140. My highest ever is 150, I've been hovering in the 130's most of my adult life. I have a funny feeling if I just "let myself go," I could weigh over 200 in a very short period of time. Easily. I may go to 150-175 and see how that feels, then go from there. I've got a big butt (which I need to learn to love not hate, another story), but my dream is to have a big belly.
When I weighed 150, part of me absolutely loved it, but part of me was still buying into society's standards, etc. I wasn't ready. This was a long time ago.
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Crystal, and I'm so happy to have found this site. Consider this my "coming out."
I spent my whole life thinking there was something wrong with me for being an FA and having secret fantasies/desires of getting fat myself.
I've been dieting my entire adult life and I'm sick of it. I'm not sure if I have the guts to get really fat just yet, but I'm sure I'll gain just by the mere act of stopping the craziness of dieting all the time. It's felt like being on the edge of a cliff my whole life. You see, it's probably in my genes to be fat. It's like I've been fighting the inevitable this whole time, and it's exhausting.
Anyway, I am so grateful to you all, and I appreciate everyone's posts.
Thank you. I'm going to allow myself to have some french fries tonight. :eat2:
Crystal.
P.S. I've already gained like 10 pounds since coming onto this site. I currently weigh 140. My highest ever is 150, I've been hovering in the 130's most of my adult life. I have a funny feeling if I just "let myself go," I could weigh over 200 in a very short period of time. Easily. I may go to 150-175 and see how that feels, then go from there. I've got a big butt (which I need to learn to love not hate, another story), but my dream is to have a big belly.
When I weighed 150, part of me absolutely loved it, but part of me was still buying into society's standards, etc. I wasn't ready. This was a long time ago.
