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Is it fair for one person to date or be committed to another person and then try to get the other person to change their body size?

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Well-Known Member
Aug 22, 2015
Ask if you wanna be friends.,
It's "to be healthy", of course. Hello again. I met a seemingly nice dude and we had our first phone chat tonight. He asked me if, should we end up together, I'd be interested in going to the gym with him. I then asked him to clarify if he wanted me to just go with him or exercise with him and he said it's whatever makes me comfortable but wanted me to exercise with him. I basically told him that I am not averse to exercising but don't want to do it under the guise of losing weight. We then started talking about something else. He started out this subject by saying that "we gotta be healthy" (or something along those lines).

Based on past experience, my brain immediately went to the thought that he is trying to change me. Is that fair? If you go into a relationship with someone knowing they are heavy, is it rational to try to get them to lose weight? He did not specially mention weight loss but I am still seeing this as a possible red flag.

I don't want to push someone away who may have not meant anything bad. What do you think?

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