Part 7: Logan & Meadow “I’ve been wondering about this... fat thing of yours,” Logan rolled over to face Meadow on his side, supporting his head in his hand. His plan to join her for training in Milwaukee had turned him into a regular overnight guest at the tiny apartment she sublet for the summer. She blushed and looked down. Oh boy, his ‘fat thing’ questions again, she sighed to herself and brought her eyes back up to his. “What?” she questioned with teasing impatience. Ever since their friendship had morphed into a romantic relationship, when she made her inclinations a little more known to him, he’d been nudging her with his curiosity about it. Logan seemed to be on a mission to unpack her fat baggage, one needed reassurance at a time. “Would you really still want me, if I were like... completely obese?” He was fixed on her eyes, not wanting to let her weasel around it again with a joke or some generic unconditional support. He had been so baffled by what Meadow shared with him, that he felt like he had to understand if it was even possible. Are there really women who like it when guys get chubby? Or even fatter? It was entirely foreign to him. “Oh Logan,” she smiled and touched his innocently inquisitive face. “You’ve been Googling again,” she let out a sympathetic laugh and then kissed him on the cheek. “I meant it when I said that I don’t want you to be anything other than just be you.” Her murkier desires did yearn for the return of his tubbiness, and all this talk about it was making her feel wiggly inside, but she really did truly and honestly love him in whatever package he happened to be in at the moment. While Logan had pushed her for more details about her preferences, she pushed back too, asking him about his own. Was he attracted to her mesomorphic body type or did he like something softer too? “A lot of guys like curves,” she had reasoned to him, knowing big boobs and hourglass hips were not qualities she could offer him if his desires were as particular as her own were. But Logan had already reassured her that he loved her body, and had always admired the impressive amount of power she packed into her relatively small figure. She was built for speed and her whole form was so rare in definition, ability and purpose; he hadn’t stopped telling her how much that turned him on too. He may have found curves enticing and lovely on some girls, but he hadn’t ever really been about specific body types anyway. His real Achilles heel was a strong, beautiful woman with intense, piercing eyes. Meadow was just that kind of girl, mesmerizing him from the first time he saw her stunning face angrily glare right back into his own defensively smug facade. “What if you change your mind; then you decide I’m... or, well, it’s too much... too gross...” He was still trying to figure out if she was just being nice; and maybe she really had no idea how vulnerable he was to someday becoming seriously and uncontrollably fat. “No, Logan, I've always been open minded, about... bodies,” she tried to be diplomatic about his current shape versus his persistent fat angst. “At least since I started noticing boys,” she gave him a sneaky smile, alluding to her early feelings for plump bellies; feelings that had over time evolved into full on desire for total body corpulence. “So your boyfriends were all fat guys? Seriously?” He gave her a disbelieving look. “I never really had boyfriends,” she admitted. “I never had time, I was always training.” “You've never had a single boyfriend before me? I find that hard to believe,” he smirked. Logan thought Meadow seemed experienced enough as they had become more physically intimate, anyway. Although, he did at one time question what guy in his right mind would put up with her difficult personality. A lot of guys would have definitely been scared off, he laughed to himself. “Well, I did have one boyfriend in college and he was chubby, so there,” she giggled through her blushing. “You are so totally the opposite of who I thought you were the first time I saw you,” he now laughed out loud with her. “I can say the same thing about you, Mr. Conceited Hockey Jock,” she lightly patted his cheek, still grinning. Undaunted by her teasing, he continued the line of questioning. “What if,” he blushed and thought for a moment. “I mean, I know I can’t really... be, like...chubby for you...right now...” he fumbled for the right words to express a sexy idea he thought might appease his girlfriend’s unique interests. “Logan, you don’t have to agonize over this,” she still felt a little embarrassed by his uneasiness and ran her hand along his firm body in reassurance that she was fine with his current physique. His attentive charms and admiring whispers had already won her over the first time they made love at her little apartment back in Minneapolis. She had always presumed that overhyped, self-centered jocks would also naturally be entitled, selfish beasts in the sack. Not Logan though, he wasn’t like that... he was entirely focused on Meadow, making sure she was cared for and satisfied. She was actually surprised over how nice he felt on top of her. A hard body enveloping hers hadn’t been anything she’d ever imagined for herself, but she found that she could enjoy his weight and strength bearing down on her, along with his loving eyes and adoring lips. Being with him was a pleasant revelation, discovering that his leaner, angular body contours were somehow softened by his smooth deference and nuanced touch. Logan was amazed himself by how willing yet submissive Meadow was in bed. He had seen hints of it before in those confused moments when he wasn’t sure how to read her ever changing moods and vague body language. Her personality had been so cold and distant at first, sometimes being with her now almost felt surreal. Even over the months as he had gotten to know her more, he witnessed her confident, bossier side along with some playful bravado. Considering how much she didn’t like him at first, and how hard she was to get to know, he was astounded by how much safer he felt in her arms than with any other girl he’d ever been with. In bed she became all tenderness and accommodation, and always seemed glowing and contented afterwards. He loved being with her, but he also couldn’t help but wonder where that feisty tiger was hiding? Meadow knew where... she hadn’t completely set aside her craving for a bigger, softer, and rounder experience. Fleeting thoughts of Logan’s fatter form were never too far from her mind. She profoundly missed those plump and luscious love handles, which were down to a nearly undetectable sliver, having given way to hardened and defined obliques. A self-imposed guilt dowsed these repressed feelings, but she couldn’t change them. The idea that she might coax out some aggressive animal instincts someday, once he put back on all those lost pounds, was so delicious. Perhaps if, or when his body became softer, she might enjoy a hefty, dominant brute plunging himself into her with reckless abandon. It was too hot not to imagine. Those thoughts were put neatly away for him, though. She was acutely aware that he faced the biggest athletic pressure of his life, and she certainly wasn’t going to worry him with too much honesty over how she fantasized about the sexy chub that blanketed his body the year before; or heaven forbid, how curious she was about whether he might someday gain well beyond that size. Those desires would just have to be kept locked down, with faith that his naturally thick body would eventually find him again, and expand into her patiently waiting arms. “Meadow, let me ask... I checked out some of this fat stuff online,” he looked away for a moment, slightly embarrassed himself. He had seen it all, really. Women who were excited by hugely fat guys; women who wanted to make them fatter; feed them... cram food into their mouths until their bellies were overstuffed. It was kind of fascinating, yet also terrifying. How very easy would it be for Logan to be talked into relaxing his diet and indulging? Is Meadow into that kind of thing too? “Okay,” she tried to be patient with him while hoping to avoid talking about the more athletically sacrilegious aspects of her flab fixation. It wasn’t so much shame that she felt, but she had conflicted feelings about the feeding and gaining aspects of her more deviant fantasies. She never wanted him to feel any more stressed than he already was about his body; he certainly had more than enough of that from every other corner of his life. “What if we just pretended, or like... well, you could feed me, or whatever, if that turned you on,” he still struggled to find the right words for his proposal, turning even redder. He’d been thinking about this for a few weeks now. If she liked him chubby, maybe she liked the feeding stuff too? He really wanted her to be sexually satisfied, and this could be a way to make her even happier? Logan was in the best shape of his life, which helped his self-confidence in general, but he was also reminded how different Meadow seemed to be than other girls he’d known on the whole weight thing. “You have been researching,” she laughed and playfully patted his butt. “Seriously, Meadow,” Logan pulled her nude body close to his and rolled over to hover on top of her, emphasizing his resolve. “I could eat something fattening for you, you know, like, maybe in bed?” he brushed his hand up her waist, flirtatiously looked intently in her eyes and licked his lips, “Would you like something like that?” She was already aroused by all the fat talk, but the combination of his dominant position along with his open willingness to please her was making her even more excited... Would I like something like that? Oh would I ever... Logan was so cute and innocently sexy about it; and it was a tempting idea. She couldn’t deny that she would be open to trying a feeding experience, especially since she wasn’t going to have any tangible, fleshy, sensual chub to get lost in anytime soon. But she didn’t want him to jeopardize anything with his hockey career just so she could have a more intense orgasm. “You have to be careful right now,” Meadow cautioned him sensibly, not yet consenting to the idea. “Camp starts in less than three weeks.” “I’d run it off,” he already had it planned out. “It would be worth the extra time around the track to see you get more turned on,” he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, convinced that this could be another pathway to an even deeper physical connection. Logan felt comfortable that if he splurged in a planned and conscientious way it wouldn’t turn into a spiral of rampant, out of control heavy eating. He still found it strange that Meadow, of all people, might enjoy the sin of dietary indulgence, and yet also be the one to help him stay fit, but it was finally sinking into his brain that this was an actual ‘thing’ for her. She sighed and smiled, already relenting to his enthusiasm. With his weight down and his hip healthy, he was now running regularly for extra caloric burn. On hot days, he’d work with Meadow doing speed intervals around the indoor running track at the rink. They also got away from the rink and the gym to cross-train outdoors, cycling hills and inline skating on local trails. Meadow normally didn’t love summer’s heat, but with Logan she was enjoying the time with him, rather than hiding alone inside the rink all summer like she used to. It seemed like everything was easier and more interesting with Logan there beside her. Renate had been right; having him around during her summer training ended up being a perfect plan. Even though they were having some fun, the competitiveness between them hadn’t waned with the onset of their romantic relationship. Meadow saw how much Logan had brought out the best in her, as she seemed to do for him. But more than that, she was savoring the quality time that she could spend with him before she knew they would be apart for many weeks at a time in the fall. She also loved watching how much athleticism Logan gave every activity; he was totally ready for anything physically. It was really sexy to see his body confidence grow over time, if not his body size. He had always been strong and completely capable, even at his chubbiest; but she was convinced that his head was more to blame than his body for the difference in his athletic enthusiasm and self-assurance. She desperately hoped that he wouldn’t lose that confidence should he put it all back on again. A lifetime of being told he wasn’t as talented or desirable with those extra pounds was a hard mindset to shake. That’s why he belongs with me, she smiled inside herself. I’m here to defend him against that kind of mental garbage. “So, what do you think?” He pressed her seriously and intently, clearly eager for her approval of his sexy dessert idea. “I think I love you,” she giggled and brushed his hair away from his eyes. She had to laugh at how romantic of a gesture it was that he was willing to spend extra time around the track just to appease her fetishy side. “Maybe we do it on Wednesday afternoon,” he rolled over with his brawny arms behind his head, looking up at the ceiling, thinking very pragmatically about the whole plan. “That fits between the long track workouts with Renate, and before weekend hockey practice,” he adorably calculated it into their regular regimen. With Coach Mike’s connections, Logan had been working out on Fridays and Saturdays with the local AHL Admirals training camp sessions, prepping for the rhythm of returning to the NCAA schedule. “Maybe you can just get yourself back up against me and kiss me,” Meadow loved his determination, even as it related to sexually satisfying her. How could she not look forward to feeding him his favorite summertime dessert: a hot fudge and butterscotch sundae, in her bed, while watching his eyes fill with pleasure and satisfaction?