BHM On Thin Ice - by Ashblonde (~BHM, ~FFA, Romance)

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Busy writing
May 8, 2006
Part 7: Logan & Meadow

“I’ve been wondering about this... fat thing of yours,” Logan rolled over to face Meadow on his side, supporting his head in his hand. His plan to join her for training in Milwaukee had turned him into a regular overnight guest at the tiny apartment she sublet for the summer.

She blushed and looked down. Oh boy, his ‘fat thing’ questions again, she sighed to herself and brought her eyes back up to his. “What?” she questioned with teasing impatience. Ever since their friendship had morphed into a romantic relationship, when she made her inclinations a little more known to him, he’d been nudging her with his curiosity about it. Logan seemed to be on a mission to unpack her fat baggage, one needed reassurance at a time.

“Would you really still want me, if I were like... completely obese?” He was fixed on her eyes, not wanting to let her weasel around it again with a joke or some generic unconditional support. He had been so baffled by what Meadow shared with him, that he felt like he had to understand if it was even possible. Are there really women who like it when guys get chubby? Or even fatter? It was entirely foreign to him.

“Oh Logan,” she smiled and touched his innocently inquisitive face. “You’ve been Googling again,” she let out a sympathetic laugh and then kissed him on the cheek. “I meant it when I said that I don’t want you to be anything other than just be you.” Her murkier desires did yearn for the return of his tubbiness, and all this talk about it was making her feel wiggly inside, but she really did truly and honestly love him in whatever package he happened to be in at the moment.

While Logan had pushed her for more details about her preferences, she pushed back too, asking him about his own. Was he attracted to her mesomorphic body type or did he like something softer too? “A lot of guys like curves,” she had reasoned to him, knowing big boobs and hourglass hips were not qualities she could offer him if his desires were as particular as her own were.

But Logan had already reassured her that he loved her body, and had always admired the impressive amount of power she packed into her relatively small figure. She was built for speed and her whole form was so rare in definition, ability and purpose; he hadn’t stopped telling her how much that turned him on too. He may have found curves enticing and lovely on some girls, but he hadn’t ever really been about specific body types anyway. His real Achilles heel was a strong, beautiful woman with intense, piercing eyes. Meadow was just that kind of girl, mesmerizing him from the first time he saw her stunning face angrily glare right back into his own defensively smug facade.

“What if you change your mind; then you decide I’m... or, well, it’s too much... too gross...” He was still trying to figure out if she was just being nice; and maybe she really had no idea how vulnerable he was to someday becoming seriously and uncontrollably fat.

“No, Logan, I've always been open minded, about... bodies,” she tried to be diplomatic about his current shape versus his persistent fat angst. “At least since I started noticing boys,” she gave him a sneaky smile, alluding to her early feelings for plump bellies; feelings that had over time evolved into full on desire for total body corpulence.

“So your boyfriends were all fat guys? Seriously?” He gave her a disbelieving look.

“I never really had boyfriends,” she admitted. “I never had time, I was always training.”

“You've never had a single boyfriend before me? I find that hard to believe,” he smirked. Logan thought Meadow seemed experienced enough as they had become more physically intimate, anyway. Although, he did at one time question what guy in his right mind would put up with her difficult personality. A lot of guys would have definitely been scared off, he laughed to himself.

“Well, I did have one boyfriend in college and he was chubby, so there,” she giggled through her blushing.

“You are so totally the opposite of who I thought you were the first time I saw you,” he now laughed out loud with her.

“I can say the same thing about you, Mr. Conceited Hockey Jock,” she lightly patted his cheek, still grinning.

Undaunted by her teasing, he continued the line of questioning. “What if,” he blushed and thought for a moment. “I mean, I know I can’t really... be, like...chubby for you...right now...” he fumbled for the right words to express a sexy idea he thought might appease his girlfriend’s unique interests.

“Logan, you don’t have to agonize over this,” she still felt a little embarrassed by his uneasiness and ran her hand along his firm body in reassurance that she was fine with his current physique. His attentive charms and admiring whispers had already won her over the first time they made love at her little apartment back in Minneapolis. She had always presumed that overhyped, self-centered jocks would also naturally be entitled, selfish beasts in the sack. Not Logan though, he wasn’t like that... he was entirely focused on Meadow, making sure she was cared for and satisfied.

She was actually surprised over how nice he felt on top of her. A hard body enveloping hers hadn’t been anything she’d ever imagined for herself, but she found that she could enjoy his weight and strength bearing down on her, along with his loving eyes and adoring lips. Being with him was a pleasant revelation, discovering that his leaner, angular body contours were somehow softened by his smooth deference and nuanced touch.

Logan was amazed himself by how willing yet submissive Meadow was in bed. He had seen hints of it before in those confused moments when he wasn’t sure how to read her ever changing moods and vague body language. Her personality had been so cold and distant at first, sometimes being with her now almost felt surreal. Even over the months as he had gotten to know her more, he witnessed her confident, bossier side along with some playful bravado. Considering how much she didn’t like him at first, and how hard she was to get to know, he was astounded by how much safer he felt in her arms than with any other girl he’d ever been with. In bed she became all tenderness and accommodation, and always seemed glowing and contented afterwards. He loved being with her, but he also couldn’t help but wonder where that feisty tiger was hiding?

Meadow knew where... she hadn’t completely set aside her craving for a bigger, softer, and rounder experience. Fleeting thoughts of Logan’s fatter form were never too far from her mind. She profoundly missed those plump and luscious love handles, which were down to a nearly undetectable sliver, having given way to hardened and defined obliques.

A self-imposed guilt dowsed these repressed feelings, but she couldn’t change them. The idea that she might coax out some aggressive animal instincts someday, once he put back on all those lost pounds, was so delicious. Perhaps if, or when his body became softer, she might enjoy a hefty, dominant brute plunging himself into her with reckless abandon. It was too hot not to imagine.

Those thoughts were put neatly away for him, though. She was acutely aware that he faced the biggest athletic pressure of his life, and she certainly wasn’t going to worry him with too much honesty over how she fantasized about the sexy chub that blanketed his body the year before; or heaven forbid, how curious she was about whether he might someday gain well beyond that size. Those desires would just have to be kept locked down, with faith that his naturally thick body would eventually find him again, and expand into her patiently waiting arms.

“Meadow, let me ask... I checked out some of this fat stuff online,” he looked away for a moment, slightly embarrassed himself. He had seen it all, really. Women who were excited by hugely fat guys; women who wanted to make them fatter; feed them... cram food into their mouths until their bellies were overstuffed. It was kind of fascinating, yet also terrifying. How very easy would it be for Logan to be talked into relaxing his diet and indulging? Is Meadow into that kind of thing too?

“Okay,” she tried to be patient with him while hoping to avoid talking about the more athletically sacrilegious aspects of her flab fixation. It wasn’t so much shame that she felt, but she had conflicted feelings about the feeding and gaining aspects of her more deviant fantasies. She never wanted him to feel any more stressed than he already was about his body; he certainly had more than enough of that from every other corner of his life.

“What if we just pretended, or like... well, you could feed me, or whatever, if that turned you on,” he still struggled to find the right words for his proposal, turning even redder. He’d been thinking about this for a few weeks now. If she liked him chubby, maybe she liked the feeding stuff too? He really wanted her to be sexually satisfied, and this could be a way to make her even happier? Logan was in the best shape of his life, which helped his self-confidence in general, but he was also reminded how different Meadow seemed to be than other girls he’d known on the whole weight thing.

“You have been researching,” she laughed and playfully patted his butt.

“Seriously, Meadow,” Logan pulled her nude body close to his and rolled over to hover on top of her, emphasizing his resolve. “I could eat something fattening for you, you know, like, maybe in bed?” he brushed his hand up her waist, flirtatiously looked intently in her eyes and licked his lips, “Would you like something like that?”

She was already aroused by all the fat talk, but the combination of his dominant position along with his open willingness to please her was making her even more excited... Would I like something like that? Oh would I ever...

Logan was so cute and innocently sexy about it; and it was a tempting idea. She couldn’t deny that she would be open to trying a feeding experience, especially since she wasn’t going to have any tangible, fleshy, sensual chub to get lost in anytime soon. But she didn’t want him to jeopardize anything with his hockey career just so she could have a more intense orgasm.

“You have to be careful right now,” Meadow cautioned him sensibly, not yet consenting to the idea. “Camp starts in less than three weeks.”

“I’d run it off,” he already had it planned out. “It would be worth the extra time around the track to see you get more turned on,” he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, convinced that this could be another pathway to an even deeper physical connection.

Logan felt comfortable that if he splurged in a planned and conscientious way it wouldn’t turn into a spiral of rampant, out of control heavy eating. He still found it strange that Meadow, of all people, might enjoy the sin of dietary indulgence, and yet also be the one to help him stay fit, but it was finally sinking into his brain that this was an actual ‘thing’ for her.

She sighed and smiled, already relenting to his enthusiasm. With his weight down and his hip healthy, he was now running regularly for extra caloric burn. On hot days, he’d work with Meadow doing speed intervals around the indoor running track at the rink. They also got away from the rink and the gym to cross-train outdoors, cycling hills and inline skating on local trails. Meadow normally didn’t love summer’s heat, but with Logan she was enjoying the time with him, rather than hiding alone inside the rink all summer like she used to. It seemed like everything was easier and more interesting with Logan there beside her.

Renate had been right; having him around during her summer training ended up being a perfect plan. Even though they were having some fun, the competitiveness between them hadn’t waned with the onset of their romantic relationship. Meadow saw how much Logan had brought out the best in her, as she seemed to do for him. But more than that, she was savoring the quality time that she could spend with him before she knew they would be apart for many weeks at a time in the fall.

She also loved watching how much athleticism Logan gave every activity; he was totally ready for anything physically. It was really sexy to see his body confidence grow over time, if not his body size. He had always been strong and completely capable, even at his chubbiest; but she was convinced that his head was more to blame than his body for the difference in his athletic enthusiasm and self-assurance. She desperately hoped that he wouldn’t lose that confidence should he put it all back on again. A lifetime of being told he wasn’t as talented or desirable with those extra pounds was a hard mindset to shake. That’s why he belongs with me, she smiled inside herself. I’m here to defend him against that kind of mental garbage.

“So, what do you think?” He pressed her seriously and intently, clearly eager for her approval of his sexy dessert idea.

“I think I love you,” she giggled and brushed his hair away from his eyes. She had to laugh at how romantic of a gesture it was that he was willing to spend extra time around the track just to appease her fetishy side.

“Maybe we do it on Wednesday afternoon,” he rolled over with his brawny arms behind his head, looking up at the ceiling, thinking very pragmatically about the whole plan. “That fits between the long track workouts with Renate, and before weekend hockey practice,” he adorably calculated it into their regular regimen. With Coach Mike’s connections, Logan had been working out on Fridays and Saturdays with the local AHL Admirals training camp sessions, prepping for the rhythm of returning to the NCAA schedule.

“Maybe you can just get yourself back up against me and kiss me,” Meadow loved his determination, even as it related to sexually satisfying her. How could she not look forward to feeding him his favorite summertime dessert: a hot fudge and butterscotch sundae, in her bed, while watching his eyes fill with pleasure and satisfaction?



the bitchy one
Nov 26, 2010
Well, what started as an epilogue-ish ending has evolved into a lengthy chapter of its own, with Meadow and Logan’s relationship unfolding in little vignettes of intimacy over the early months/years. I just really love these two and wasn’t ready to let them go off together with just a few simple paragraphs - they’re just so damn made for each other despite the fact that they couldn’t stand each other at first (in all its pride-n-prej tropiness, lol).

But I really don’t think I can give a ‘10 years later’ treatment any justice... although that suggestion couldn’t help but make me think mushy thoughts of Logan as a very fat and super-hot dad teaching his little girl proper stick handling while Meadow firmly coaches her on starting and crossover drills... a little too cute though, even for me, so, spoiler alert: I don’t see this going that far into the future, but you just know how freakin’ gorgeous he’d look in his wedding tux ;-)

I can say I felt oddly fortunate to have had some of this little story left to distract myself over the last several days. If it helps anyone else escape a bit, if only for a few minutes, then totally worth the effort.

Anyhow, here’s the first bit of the last chapter. I’m still working on the rest for you wonderful, patient readers :blush:
I haven't read the chapter yet but I can assure you, it gives me much needed escape from reality. Those few minutes are what I'm looking for everyday(unfortunately can't get them everyday but it's good, only makes its better when I can finally read a new chapter) so your hard work is totally appreciated.

You're a wonderful writer, I have your website bookmarked and every time I need some distractions from reality I'm rereading old stories.

Thank you very much for everything :)

fat hiker

Well-Known Member
Oct 25, 2005
Ottawa, ON
So Logan is researching? And Meadow is furiously balancing, both love and sex and care and concern and competitiveness?

Your chapters just draw me in so well - I love them! And after each new one, I have to go back and read over the ones before as well.

I just love this story. Part of me thinks publishing it might even work.


Busy writing
May 8, 2006
Aw, thanks again guys :blush:

I have an open source philosophy with my FFA-BHM writings though, so I don't see a book deal in my future, lol. I just enjoy writing and putting it out there. And maybe somewhere along the line it may help those still figuring out their feelings about liking fat, or being fat - and of course I do it for those of you who already get it and just enjoy the guilty pleasure of some sappy ol' romance.

I wanted to get this next bit posted sooner after the last, but the weekend got away from me. The good news, I did get some ice skating in and totally channeled my inner Meadow. :happy:


Busy writing
May 8, 2006
Logan texted Meadow a link to a Star Tribune story covering a Roseville Oval fundraiser they had attended together on New Year’s Eve, right before she left for World Cup qualifications in Salt Lake City. She clicked and scrolled down, finding a picture of the two of them nested in the text. The photo was captioned, Returning after his red shirt season, Gopher Defenseman Logan Hansen poses with Olympic speed skating hopeful Meadow Rossi. She studied the photo... Logan looked happy, self-assured and gorgeous; she just looked annoyed.

Despite his media wariness and her generally solitary nature, they couldn’t altogether avoid some publicity and gossip with the way their prospects were evolving. Logan’s re-emergence as a key performer with a Division I hockey powerhouse, along with Meadow’s rising star on the US team, earned them both some public chatter about their status as a hot new item.

She immediately called him. “I look kind of bitchy,” she muttered, hoping Logan would reassure her she didn’t really look that bitchy. Meadow had always hated smiling for photos. Posing never felt natural to her. She liked what the camera could capture in her performances so much more.

“You agreed to be in the shot with me,” he reminded her with a small laugh. Her expression did look a little impatient, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for her... Do I really need to tell her that she still looks like the prettiest girl on the planet?

“I did it for you,” she softened her tone, reminding him that he was definitely more of a local sports celebrity than she was. Plus, there was that other calculating reason she had joined Logan for the photo... douchebag Eric was also there. He was obviously watching them together, so she may have gone a little overboard with flaunting their relationship with some public affection too. She knew it was petty, but showing off that happy togetherness with Logan felt like karmic payback for the shitty way that Eric had treated him the year before.

“You look beautiful as always,” Logan let his honesty come out, but he was also a little scolding too. She certainly never needed any extra ego boost about her looks, but he couldn’t help but tell her anyway. As far as his own image was concerned, he was just relieved not to see a picture of himself with a double chin forming under his smile. He didn’t say that part out loud to Meadow though, as she had different views when the topic of his former chubbiness came up.

“It helps to be standing next to the hottest defenseman in the Big Ten,” she threw some flattering praise back at him.

“You’re going to have to get used to the attention, you know,” he reminded her of the public nature of what she was getting herself into.

“So I’m going to be a hockey WAG now, right?” She rolled her eyes at the thought of hanging around those dopey fake tanned and heavily made up puck bunnies who only lived through their boyfriends’ fame and glory. Still, she was willing to be part of the public aspects of his life when it seemed to help his confidence. They hadn’t really talked about major commitments, but she already recognized that he was the kind of guy who craved the security and structure of a relationship. Once again, Logan proved to be pretty much the opposite of her prior assumptions that all hockey guys were all arrogant players who only wanted one thing.

“You’re no WAG Meadow,” he burst out laughing at the ridiculous idea of her sitting for hours watching his practices, or getting all dolled up for his games. “You’re going to be the celebrity. Once the Olympic hype machine starts rolling next year, you’ll be featured in all those ‘hot athlete’ articles. They’ll probably make you flex your abs for the ‘ESPN Body’ issue too,” he teased her more.

“Shut up,” she laughed along but also cringed a little. Meadow never wanted her looks to eclipse her abilities, or to become more of a sex object than a respected athlete; that was downright infuriating given all the hard work she’d given her sport.

“You’ll be click bait, just wait and see,” he warned her playfully, but seriously. Logan was convinced that she was going to get more notice than average for a US team athlete and was trying to prepare her for the inevitability. She didn’t just have the looks; she had the Olympic family story angle, not to mention the cool composure that the sports media machine craves. She acted like that stuff didn’t matter, but Logan could see that she was destined for it.

Logan himself had still tried to keep a fairly low profile, despite the increasing buzz around the team’s winning record. Coach Mike, his dad and Meadow were all voices encouraging him to market himself more for pro scouting, but he had an innate aversion to any spotlight shining too brightly on his image, having been dragged through a very traumatic side of it. Most scouts were already familiar with his roller coaster weight history; and even though he had physically gotten past it many months ago, all of it was delved up again in stories related to his return to the team roster. His reputation as a player who couldn’t keep his weight under control was something he believed he’d never truly get past anyway, so better to just ignore it altogether.

He focused instead on what was happening for him right now. The Gophers had just pulled off two more big victories in the Mariucci Classic, which was an emotional and bittersweet tournament for him, being his last. Growing up, he had great memories of his Dad taking him to so many of those games. They were formative experiences that fueled his hockey dreams and kept him driven to get better, in spite of the deck that always felt was stacked against him. He never forgot his Dad’s arm around him, talking him through all the rules, the strategies and complexities of hockey so that he could learn the game better and ultimately fall in love with it. But he also remembered so vividly and fondly, his father reassuring him, You don’t have to be skinny to skate, son.

“You were fantastic last night,” Meadow changed the subject to the reason she had really wanted to talk to him. She had been streaming his games online from her crappy motel room outside of Salt Lake City. “Your tread was always great, but your rotational power keeps getting even better; the way you’ve been getting the puck across the ice lately, wow,” she gushed.

“Thanks,” he beamed while adjusting an ice pack perched on his badly-bruised arm. One of the many things he loved about his girlfriend was her skating smarts; she knew his technique these days almost better than he did himself. He was still feeling pretty amazing after the huge win against Harvard, making a crucial assist near the end of the third period that helped the Gophers secure their 3-2 final score.

“I think it’s the Pilates and medicine ball reps I made you keep doing all summer,” she reminded him.

“You’re my secret weapon,” he wistfully rubbed his hand along his muscular torso, missing her touch all the more.

Meadow loved when he called her that; it made her feel special in a way she had never quite felt before. She had accomplished a lot for herself, and on her own terms; but it was a new feeling to be part of something more with someone who could see beyond the hard façade she had usually projected out to the world. Those affectionate words told her that Logan found more value in her than her looks or what her body could do on the ice. He viewed her like, maybe a partner?

“I talked to my dad this morning and all he wanted to talk about was you,” she was relieved that her father managed to be okay with his daughter having a boyfriend; her personal life wasn’t something she was used to sharing with her parents and her dad was not easily won over by anyone. “He’s ridiculously excited about your season. My parents are thinking about driving down to Duluth to catch a game when you play there in February.”

“That’s awesome,” he grinned with pride. “My folks usually drive up for the Duluth games, maybe they can finally meet each other... I can introduce them.”

He had just met her parents for the first time over the holidays. Logan and Meadow traveled together up North right before Christmas to enjoy a few days of resort living before getting back to their respective practices and competitions. He was relieved that her parents were so nice to him, having been pretty nervous about it after Renate warned of their serious and protective nature when it came to their only child. Not to mention, he was also unsure how they’d view some common Minnesota kid dating their gifted and cultured daughter. But Paolo and Marien turned out to be very warm and altogether accepting of him as Meadow’s boyfriend. Of course it probably helped that he was also an athlete who could talk hockey for hours with her dad.

Unfortunately, his coaches had explicitly banned him from any risky activities that could aggravate his hip, so there was no snowboarding or downhill skiing allowed. Meadow did keep him busy anyway, dragging him out on her favorite cross-country trails. They also got some training time in together at a local rink; and she loved horsing around with him in the pool every afternoon before dinner. Their best getaway moments, though, were the romantic evenings they enjoyed each other in a tangled bliss, hiding out in her little guest room at the lodge.

To make things easier on Logan, Meadow had instructed her parents ahead of time to make sure there were no holiday treats laying around while they visited. She was on a brief break from her winter competition schedule, so she didn’t need the temptations herself. But more than that, she was trying to be sensitive to his ever nagging appetite and the intense scrutiny on him to maintain his weight. As soon as they arrived, Meadow took him to the grocery store to stock up on fresh fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains so they could make their own meals and stay away from the usual rich and decadent resort food.

Logan smiled to himself thinking about it, remembering her playful teasing while they perused the produce area. “It won’t always be like this,” she winked at him knowingly while poking his midsection with a bundle of kale and tossing it in the cart.

“What do you mean?” At first he was genuinely confused about what she was talking about.

“Someday I’ll also buy you desserts,” she caressed her hand along his firm chest, reminding him of the fantastic frozen custard-fueled sex they had shared the summer before. Logan had witnessed a glimpse into Meadow’s more sexually dominant side while the sweet, creamy, melting ice cream flowed down his throat.

“You’ll wait for me?” he smiled, alluding to their growing flirtation over Meadow’s postponed fetish fulfilment.

“I’m very patient,” her fingers trailed from his chest down his toned middle while she seductively looked into his eyes.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You’ll really fatten me up?” knowing that those words and his playfully suspicious eyes would really turn her on.

She gave him a desirous smile that still sent shivers down his spine now, just remembering her eyes and her words... “If you’ll insist,” she deadpanned.

Now, with that relaxing yet short vacation behind them, they flirted with each other from a thousand miles away. Logan’s hand felt along his abs once again, as if to check and make sure he was still lean and hadn’t chubbed up a little just from the sound of her voice and thoughts of that decadent dessert foreplay she loved teasing him about so much. He was gearing up for the most important stretch of games he’d ever played in his life and felt like his team had a real shot at scorching the rest of the Big Ten.

“I can’t wait to see you next Friday,” he told Meadow wistfully. She was going to be back in the Twin Cities for a few days to see him play in a couple of critical conference games against Penn State before leaving with Renate to resume her World Cup schedule overseas.

“Neither can I,” she murmured. “Stay healthy.”

“I miss training with you,” he told her, truly missing her comforting smile along with her warm body.

“I miss other things with you,” Meadow dropped her voice to a lower octave. She couldn’t help but make him crazy while waiting for their next rendezvous. She hoped those words gave him the same delicious longing that she had been keeping nested further inside her own body. While they would wait a few weeks here and there in between sexually satisfying liaisons, Meadow knew she would wait a bit longer for a different kind of gratification; the kind where Logan’s physique would eventually give into its true nature. The mantra that had played in her head her whole life was there for her again, Good things come to those who wait...


fat hiker

Well-Known Member
Oct 25, 2005
Ottawa, ON
Just when I think your writing could not get better, it does. Those last two paragraphs so perfectly encapsulate Logan and Meadow's relationship!


Busy writing
May 8, 2006
“How does it feel?” Meadow sat down next to Logan on his bed. She lifted up his ice pack and gently touched the muscles and tendons along his lower torso; then she studied further down the front of his thigh to inspect the tender condition of his latest injury.

“My hip or my fat?” He smirked, referring to the 20 pounds he’d put on since the end of his college career. Like always, the initial progression of gain was barely noticeable. Only a little crept on in the weeks between his life as a Gopher and his first pro contract with the Quad City Mallards, an ECHL team that actively recruited him once his NCAA season ended. That first bit of weight hardly felt like anything at all, and a tough training camp kept his body in check from further gain for a while. But once he got into the drudgery of a minor league schedule, with the irregular games and erratic travel, some of his old eating habits were sneaking back into his diet. It was inevitable that more weight would steadily pack itself onto his frame over the course of time; it always had a way of snowballing like this...

“Your hip, you idiot,” Meadow half-laughed, and half-insisted. Of course she was interested in the slight but cute new morsels of chub that softened along the sides of his waistline, but his injury mattered the most right now. She had been streaming the game online the night before when she witnessed the rough body check that sent Logan out of the game, and sent her into panic mode.

At her texted insistence, he called her at midnight to reassure her that he was okay, but Meadow still sensed something wasn’t right with him. Tossing and turning all night, she was totally unable to sleep. At five in the morning she threw off her sheets in a huff, pulled herself together and left from Milwaukee to make the three hour trip down to the Quad Cities to see him for herself.

Anxiousness had consumed her thoughts throughout the tedious drive to his sparsely furnished month-to-month apartment in Davenport; it didn’t help that a spring thunderstorm downpour made the long stretch of flat Illinois farmland even more miserable. Her nerves were frazzled enough by lack of sleep and bad weather; but mostly it was her worry for Logan’s wonderful, gifted body.

Logan was anxious himself about sharing with her what had really happened to him out on the ice during that game. He was used to the typical bodily punishment of hockey, but he knew this latest hit took him both physically and emotionally into a much more uncomfortable place, and his heart was unwilling to go along for the ride.

Logan never pretended that hockey meant a big money future, and had always understood that reality very clearly. He may have been a talented player with a reputation for his smarts and natural skating skill; Coach Mike had seen that potential when he recruited him from the regional collection of suburban hockey jocks vying for an NCAA scholarship. He wasn’t NHL on paper though, with his ‘average tall’ height and always uncertain weight; and he wasn’t proven in the speed and physicality demanded by the highest level of the professional game either. It didn’t surprise anyone that he would remain an undrafted free agent. Coach Mike had long prepared Logan for a less than glamorous career cutting his teeth in the minors. From his early days as a Gopher the message was loud and clear: Get as far as you can with it, Logan. But was this as far as he could get himself to go?

Like always, Logan would have to work that much harder to prove himself if he wanted any kind of career beyond college. He had been trying to do just that in the Quad Cities, performing well and receiving growing notice from the local fan base. After a few months of getting used to the pro game and showing his worth, he earned a promotion to the team’s AHL affiliate in Des Moines. He briefly entertained the notion that he could push himself harder, and maybe even get sent up to their NHL partner, the Minnesota Wild, his dream team back home in Minneapolis.

That dream was quickly cut short in early February when he suffered a hamstring strain that benched him and ultimately sent him back down to the Mallards to rehab and re-prove his professional value. Added to that injury, the disruption of moving back and forth between Davenport and Des Moines was really messing with his routine. It didn’t take long for him to put on a few additional pounds, accompanied by concerned comments from his conditioning coach. He was growing more miserable, missing the stability he used to have with the Gophers; the camaraderie of his college teammates; and probably most of all... his loving and supportive girlfriend.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your strategy clinic?” He questioned her with a smile, trying to deflect her concerns.

“We finished the important stuff yesterday,” she waved him off, undeterred by his attempt to distract her from her laser focus on his pained situation. “Let’s talk about your injury.”

“My hip is the least of my problems,” he sighed, not wanting to fully admit to the amount of pain his whole flexor region was really in, so she didn’t worry even more. But he knew he had to tell her the rest of the news, fully aware that she would freak out more if she found out by reading about his injury status online. “The hit was hard enough to get my bell rung...”

“What?” Meadow’s heart lurched into her throat. She knew he was talking about a concussion. No wonder he seemed kind of foggy when we talked last night, damn him!

He sighed, not wanting her to worry. I’m going to have to talk her down from this one. “They put me into the protocol... it wasn’t a big blackout or anything, I just saw a few stars. I was a little too slow getting up so they pulled me out of the game. I’ll be okay Meadow, really.”

“For now, you think you’re okay.” With this news, she was more worried for his incredible, brilliant brain than his hockey body.

“Meadow, I know,” he tried to explain.

“What are they saying?” She demanded he share his prognosis.

“That I should be back to practice in a few days. And that I need to get back on the bike too when my hip cooperates,” he patted his emerging hint of a belly, referring to that damn archaic method of penalizing the fat guy.

She looked terrified, though, clearly more concerned for his head than his weight. “I hate hockey and their lax concussion attitude.”

“Hey, you take a huge risk hurling yourself at damn near 30 miles an hour around the track, with no helmet or protection at all, so don’t be so quick to judge my game,” Logan sharply reminded her.

“But there aren’t huge men hurling themselves back into me the whole time either,” she angrily reasoned.

“I know, fine, just let me explain everything,” he smiled and caressed her arm to pull her off the edge. She could be so obstinate when she was upset. He couldn’t help but love that she was worried for his future though, because he knew it meant that she cared about having a future with him.

Meadow continued to fume at him, still clearly angry that he was making light of a head injury. Logan had already admitted to her a few times that he wasn’t entirely enamored with the permissiveness on rough checking and fighting in pro hockey, especially in the minors where guys are trying to make a name for themselves. He’d chosen a long time ago to avoid the worst of the poundings by going the college route. But now there was added pressure for him to evolve into an even more physically enforcing role, and he was uncomfortable with the kind of competitive punishment that could jeopardize his post-hockey brain and body.

“I don’t really like this job lately, Meadow; the constant talk of trades, getting sent back down, not knowing where I’m going to go next... the dirty hits, the boarding, and the damn weight stuff starting up all over again... even that stupid pretty boy marketing crap,” he vented his laundry list of complaints in frustration.

Meadow couldn’t help but smile at his ‘pretty boy marketing’ comment. When Logan first started with the Mallards, the team asked some of the players do beefcake photo shoots for a promotional campaign intended to draw more women to games. Meadow knew why Logan was chosen... his charming looks didn’t hurt any team looking to fill their roster with handsome guys who could sell more tickets as puck bunny bait.

She relished those cute pictures of him, shirtless in his hockey pants with his laces half-open at the waist, holding his stick, while his eyes smoldered back into the camera. Logan hated it; he expressed complete mortification to Meadow over the spray-on tan he had to endure, and further admitted to her that his abs and flanks were photoshopped to make him look a little more cut than he really was. Cheesy and doctored as the photos were, she liked looking at them anyway, especially during the many weeks they were apart while she was training and competing at World Cup events overseas.

But lately his team seemed more focused on using him as a heavy weapon than a poster boy. One assistant coach made the mistake of telling him when he arrived back from Des Moines that it was okay to keep on a few pounds if it helped him punish the competition. Without much more unintentional permission than that, Logan’s appetite had him edging back into the upper 230s. It seemed like he had only indulged a handful of times and was already feeling the pressure to bring his weight back down once again.

“As much as I would hate to have you that far away from me, have you considered Europe?” Meadow suggested, trying to figure out a way for him to do what he’s so good at and still stay in one piece. At least some of those leagues regulated the more ferocious aspects of the game that Logan was not enjoying in the minors. He certainly had the skating skills to do well there, although he’d have to quickly lose what he’d gained to raise any team’s interest. “We can train together again this summer, and Renate is probably connected to some agents over there...”

“I haven’t told you that I took the LSAT over the winter,” he abruptly cut her line of thinking off and looked at her with trepidation, unsure what her reaction to the news would be. Logan knew Meadow would be skeptical that he was done with the intensity and rush of adrenaline that he got from competing at an elite level. But as much as he loved the games, he had been thinking rationally about where he was at with his career. The positives and negatives of slogging it out from team to team in the minors were on a virtual balance sheet in his head, with the negatives increasingly weighing against the positives.

“What?” Meadow was shocked. He had sometimes talked about eventually getting back to educational pursuits, but also that he wanted to take advantage of his physical talents while he was still young, strong and healthy.

“And I got accepted to the law school back at UMN,” he couldn’t keep it from her anymore. Originally he was going to wait until the season was over to tell her, just to be sure of his decision, but these latest injuries were cutting that plan short anyway. He could feel the inevitability of it in his body, even more now than with his last major hip injury... the one that ended his junior season as a Gopher and accelerated his big fat slide into red shirt status.

Meadow’s was thrilled for his academic accomplishment; but deeply concerned for his happiness. He wasn’t smiling or frowning either... Is this what he really wants? He’s got to really want it.

“I decided to apply before they forgot my name,” he joked about his success the year before in the Frozen Four that made him a bit more of a local hero.

“Not easy to forget you after last year,” she grinned, reminded of the pride she felt for his senior season accomplishments. He was so impressive on the ice in those games that she may have fallen even more in love with him for his uncanny ability to make slow look fast and fast look slow. She adored his heart more than anything else, of course; but she also truly admired his talents... now that she had gotten over herself and could finally admit how damn great he really was.

He smiled, remembering how Meadow had come to every game she could when she was not traveling with the US speed skating team. She was able to make it back to the Twin Cities for Regionals and then flew to Boston for the Finals... and she was really there for him the night they lost the National Championship. It was the genuine way in which she totally understood his disappointment in defeat; and her loving arms that let him know in the midst of a crushing loss, everything was going to be alright. And all along, she had been there for him with training and moral support, even when they were both apart due to his road games and her competition schedule.

“What about your first love?” she needed to know he wasn’t doing something he’d regret.

“Hockey may be my first love, but there’s more than one way to play it... and I actually do miss school,” he shrugged. “Plus, there’s another love who makes me even happier now,” he rubbed his hand down along the outside her thigh flirtatiously. I do love this determined woman.

Meadow was bewildered by the way he could touch her in just the right way to help her calm down and relax. She sometimes wondered if it was yet another extrasensory talent of his, like his ability to use his body to subtlety knock an opposing player away from the puck; or how he could deliver his breakout pass with a perfect timing and velocity for his winger to skate into it. Logan wasn’t the fastest or most physical defenseman, not even on his own team; but he was so gifted with the finer aspects of the game that she was still a bit skeptical that he was really done with elite competition. “Are you completely sure? You have to be completely sure.”

“I don’t enjoy playing this way anymore,” he admitted. “I was at the top of my game this year and I’m still not even close to getting called up again.” Never drafted, Logan hadn’t even expected to get into the AHL after he was dragged so publicly through his well-known weight issues. If it weren’t for the brief but noteworthy attention he received for his solid performance in the Frozen Four, he questioned whether any of the minor leagues would have wanted him either.

Now he was getting a taste of the pro life, with the next level dangled daily in front of him in the form of constant chatter about other guys getting sent up to the NHL. But Logan only got sent right back down to a lesser league to just keep mucking along. The highest ranks were eternally out of his reach, making the reality of it all a little more agonizing to deal with each day.

“It’s only getting more painful and the rewards are diminishing... Free tuition was almost a better deal than my current contract,” he finally expressed all of the thoughts that had been circulating in his brain for several months. “And they sure as hell won’t cover my medical bills ten years from now. I want to love hockey, and be able to play as I get older, and maybe even coach...or teach my own kids how to play someday,” he smiled sheepishly at Meadow. “But I won’t be able to walk when I’m 40, much less skate if I keep doing this job.”

Meadow wasn’t entirely surprised over his grievances. She thought about his demeanor during and after recent Mallards games she'd attended and he was nothing like the guy he'd been back with the Gophers. He still played hard and executed well enough, but he didn't seem to have the passion or joy; or show any real bond to his current team. He wasn’t quite the same inspired Logan she knew the year before, when he was playing college hockey at his best.

She thought back to the days before she was ever introduced to him, when she assumed he was nothing more than some hockey douche... that was when she first witnessed how much he loved the game when he was on the ice, and the fun he had in playing to the crowd. A couple of years later, after they’d forged a friendship that turned into something more, he seemed even more connected to the game. He'd always find a way to grin and wink at her from the ice, obviously excited to share something that mattered deeply to him with her. And after the final buzzer sounded at all those Gopher games, he'd still be high on adrenaline; and all was right in his world. Even after a loss, he was still positive about the next game, looking forward, ready to study and prepare for his next opponent. These days though, he acted like wins and losses just all blended together, while the physical pain seemed to dig in deeper under his skin, dampening his spirits.

Though she was still a little nervous about the finality of his decision, Meadow was also proud of him for having the maturity to think carefully about his future and make a change he felt he needed to make. “You can play pick-up games at a different rink every night of the week in the Cities,” she grinned in agreement, seeing he had already made his mind up.

“The law school has a hockey team too,” he grinned back.

“Now I know why they accepted you,” Meadow teased him.

“And even if I put on a few more, they’re the kind of team that will still love me,” he laughed, rubbing his tiny bit of promising tummy fat that Meadow had been observing with thinly veiled interest. “You’d probably enjoy that too.”

Meadow’s hands gently followed his down to the soft bit of newly formed chub on his belly, “I’ll love your body whatever happens, but I do want you in one piece.”

“Yeah, one big piece if you get your way,” he shook his head with a chuckle.

“One big and sexy piece,” she corrected him with a lusty grin and gave him a deep kiss.


Busy writing
May 8, 2006
New post above today, but its *still* not over, just another couple of sections left that I have somewhat sketched out. This month has just really been crazy - I do hope the holidays give me some breathing room to get it all settled for these two lovelies.

fat hiker

Well-Known Member
Oct 25, 2005
Ottawa, ON
Ashblonde, the story of Logan and Meadow just goes from strength to strength!

Whenever you have any more parts ready to share, we'll be ready. But, take your time. No pressure.


Busy writing
May 8, 2006
Yeah I got it, I can handle a little pressure ;) but mostly that I put on myself - or perhaps my characters put on me. Meadow's been all up in my brain going, WTF Ashley? Can't you just write some more pounds onto this man of mine already?

Oh Logan, she is right, it's about time...


Busy writing
May 8, 2006
“To the victor go the spoils,” Meadow traced Logan’s tummy bulge with her fingers, before pulling him firmly into her body for the intimacy she’d been waiting for weeks to enjoy. She had stripped down quickly for him, with nothing but her red, white and blue panties on, along with a new bronze medal around her neck. She had planned the risqué look in advance of their reunion, hoping that her bold nakedness would make him totally crazy. She was always on a mission to break down any resistance he had left in him to her overt fondling of his swelling midsection.

Logan had just picked her up from the airport, finally back home from her brilliant performance in Korea. As a first timer in Olympic competition, she had only one World Cup season under her belt just the year before. While she hadn’t made the cut in the 1500 meter event, she did manage to qualify to race in the longer 3000 meter competition. Given her relative inexperience, Meadow was projected to land somewhere in the middle of the pack. Instead, she surprised the skating world again with an overachieving performance, coming in fractions of a second ahead of her competition, and earned a bronze for the US Team.

“Spoils alright,” he murmured and shook his head in surrender, feeling her hands all over his paunch. He was just so relieved and happy she was back in his arms after having had to watch her success from half way around the world. Despite his trepidation over his flabby parts being handled so deliberately, he’d really missed the way she made him feel like a sex object; that never gets old.

From the moment his ab definition disappeared, Logan began to feel more ticklish from her meticulous dive into his fleshy developments. Yet the wanton look on her face was too sexy to stop her hands from going wherever they seemed to want to go. Once she grabbed onto his chub, it didn’t take her long to grab onto other things...

Logan had put on even more weight while she was away, despite his best efforts. Well, it wasn’t really his very best efforts... He continued to try and stay as active as he could, but when he’d come across any opportunity to indulge, he was hopeless to resist. So many foods begged to be tasted and his gut demanded to be filled. Meadow’s lust for his big appetite and bigger belly made his brain all the more willing to shut off any capacity to stop short of being stuffed. He had no more professional pressure to hold him back, and his sex life beckoned him to settle into his gradually expanding body.

The connection between his increasing weight and spectacular sex was starting to really influence his choices, and not just in dietary ways. It occurred to him again while getting ready to leave for the airport... his first instinct was to cover up his latest gain with a generously cut 2XLT sweatshirt from his previously fatter days. But as he pulled it over his bulging middle to hide the softer details, he remembered that Meadow was not Abbey, nor Emily; and certainly not a coach or trainer he had to hide anything from... So instead he put on a t-shirt and pair of jeans that fit him well enough last year, but not so well now. The casual outfit really emphasized the jiggly roll of fat that was forced to bulge out gratuitously above the waist of his jeans. It wasn’t super comfortable, but it was just for Meadow, and only for Meadow.

“You look so good,” she had gotten that jacket off immediately and unbuttoned those tight jeans to let his adorable new belly fat fall out in a tremor of relief, “and you feel amazing,” she sighed and went in for a gentle kiss, with her hands massaging his extra blubber, freed from its constricted captivity.

“How come you like this so much?” he put his hand on hers as she rubbed him.

“I don’t know, really,” she admitted with a self-conscious smile and shrug. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I grew up completely deprived. I never knew what a little softness even felt like so now just I want my hands on it... on you... all the time,” she looked into his eyes for approval. It had been three years since she shared her feelings for him, but somehow she still managed to blush whenever he quizzed her directly about what he had always referred to as her ‘fat thing.’

Perhaps it was a lingering emotional reticence from the desire that she had so secretly harbored in their earlier acquaintance. Ever since Meadow first met the previously well-rounded and red-shirted Logan, when he last fattened up into similarly pleasing proportions, she kept the memory burned in her mind of the way his pudgy belly and side flab had wobbled through his poly-blend athletic shirts. At last, they were finally coming back to adorn his body, making her completely insane for his re-enhanced physique.

That old repressed restraint may have confused her emotionally, but it was long gone from her libido and nothing could keep her hands off of him these days. She had total access now, free to roam his softening contours, study his smooth, fair skin, and the medium blond hairs that decorated his chest and stomach. And there were those telltale stretch marks; some of which were pale and may have gone all the way back to his chubby youth, living peacefully alongside a couple of fresher looking pink lines.

It had been more difficult to fully survey his body when those rigid and defined muscles were obscuring his landscape. Even the old cuts and scrapes across his arms and legs from the many rough games he’d played were easier to map out across a softened physical terrain. And oh, those delicious little rolls that started to form at his waist and sides when he sat; they would smooth out and slacken across his frame when he stretched his big build across her bed... And nothing could compare to the way his body melted more than ever into hers, with his plush new padding filling in the gaps that his formerly hard body used to leave between them.

Each trip Meadow made back home from her training camps and competitions, she loved the anticipation of seeing Logan, always wondering if any alluring little pounds were added to his thickening body. They’d been apart for so many weeks while she was training in the Netherlands, and then after Christmas while her schedule grew with intensity leading up to the Olympics. She was otherwise completely immersed in putting everything she had into her shot at a medal.

Now that the marathon of training and competition was over, she had never been more impatient for anything than for her flight to land in Minneapolis so she could get her arms back around him and tell him every detail about her life-altering adventure. But the long, transpacific flight home made it last an eternity. She tried to pass the time with some sleep; her body certainly needed the rest and recovery. Instead though, she ended up spending plenty of time in conversation with her coach. With the pressure of Olympic competition behind them, Meadow and Renate could share more relaxed banter and found themselves delving into personal matters.

“Your boyfriend is good?” Renate had questioned her with a playful smirk.

“He is,” Meadow grinned, blushing. Renate had teased both of them quite a bit about their relationship when it first unfolded; the levity actually helped them remain less anxious with each other and stay more focused on training during the days and weeks that followed their first kiss. Renate reasoned to Meadow that it was better to have a little fun with it than try to ignore it and have it be awkward.

“Law school?” Renate inquired more about Logan.

“He’s acing it, as usual,” Meadow loved bragging about his brainiac brilliance too. He was already ranked near the top of his class after the first round of 1L exams.

“Hockey?” She questioned further.

“He’s getting in games with his law school club team; they love him of course,” she bragged more. “And he has his rec leagues too.”

“His weight?” Renate raised her eyebrows with a half-cocked smile.

Meadow shook her head with a knowing grin and looked out the plane window into the dark nothingness for a moment, “He’s staying healthy.” Renate had seen Logan at the airport right before Meadow left for Korea; of course her coach knew how chubby he was getting again.

“Good thing you like him that healthy,” Renate laughed. “I wouldn’t expect him to have gotten any less healthy while you’ve been away.”

“I wouldn’t either,” she defiantly tilted her head with a shrewd smile. Her face was still a bit pink as the topic couldn’t help but elicit some lust inside her. He wouldn’t let me down like that, she mischievously thought to herself.

“Perhaps he’s a little slower now,” she was clearly trying to tease Meadow.

“He’s still a very capable training partner, Renate,” Meadow defended Logan’s strength and stamina, “and he’s been a great coach.”

“He doesn’t replace me though,” Renate crossed her arms and glared at her protégé with a smirk.

“Never,” she grinned back at her beloved mentor. “Now, let’s talk about your girlfriend,” Meadow turned the conversation to Renate’s new love interest, a Canadian speed skating official who was a lot like Renate actually: tough, firm and fit. It was fun to see her ultra-serious coach finally get a little mushy about her own relationship.

They certainly had different tastes in partners, though. While the two of them were training with Johanna in Heerenveen the previous autumn, Renate had informed Meadow’s aunt that her niece liked chubby men. Johanna surprised Meadow by agreeing that a bit of thickness could be a nice quality in a lover. “Probably good to have something extra to grab onto and keep you warm after spending a tough day on the ice,” her Aunt had laughed with a wink.

Renate was unmoved by their banter though. When Meadow then turned to ask Renate if she’d ever date a plump girl, Renate responded blankly, “I don’t know any plump girls.” Her coach was her best female friend, and had always been generally sympathetic about Logan’s weight issues, but this fat business wasn’t something they could really relate to each other about, that was for sure.

As the plane landed, Meadow was informed she’d have one more obstacle before reuniting with her man: the media. Her flight home had several Olympic athletes aboard, so a few local outlets were there at the airport to receive their hometown heroes. Meadow was among the medalists getting interviewed, crediting Renate as well as her Aunt Johanna for the intensive training they had both given her on Dutch rinks, along with cycling many miles out in the hilly parts of the Guelders region in the Netherlands. More and more though, she had come to recognize Logan’s contribution to her athletic development. He had challenged her with training in longer distances and pushing her on faster starts; along with picking up his power building techniques on the slide board and turn cables.

“I was lucky to have the opportunity to train and cross-train with some of the best in the world, in the Netherlands and here in Minneapolis,” she told a reporter. “Having a supportive multidisciplinary team around me made all the difference.”

Those words, while sounding like a canned answer, were so completely true. She used to think she was just fine on her own. She had already mastered the ice, and her kinesiology studies would give her another roadmap to building her body for success. All she really needed was Renate to teach her the nuances of the long track, shave a few more seconds of her times, and that winning would simply follow. But now she knew that she would never have gotten good enough to even get on the US team without her work alongside Logan; and once her heart opened up to him, she opened her mind and body up to so much more.

Logan watched Meadow’s glowing smile and self-assured poise from a distance, with an admiring grin on his own face. He wanted to jump in the middle of the media bustle and steal her away for himself, but he patiently waited some distance from the crowd as she talked to reporters and posed for pictures. He had told her what would happen when the cameras landed on her... that girl is a natural.

When Meadow finished with the reporters, her eyes grazed across the crowd and finally found him. She lit up like a Christmas tree, running to him and embracing him harder than she may had ever done before. She couldn’t help but also observe that he hadn’t lost a single pound, just as Renate had predicted; not that Meadow was hoping for any other outcome, obviously.

It was still February, and he was covered up by a big coat, but she was already feeling tingly knowing that his gorgeous smile and strapping body would be giving her a long awaited reward that very night. When she caught a glimpse of him from behind she literally felt weak in the knees. Meadow had always been into his big hockey butt, but with a little added weight, it was truly a thing of beauty to see his beefy rear packed into those jeans. And oh sweet mercy, those thighs...

Renate smiled as she watched Logan hug and kiss his girlfriend. “Who would have ever thought?” she ribbed them both.

“I always knew she’d come around,” Logan still liked to tease Meadow about her formerly frosty demeanor with him.

Renate laughed and patted him on the back, “Logan, I’ve missed your sense of humor.”

Between his studies, a new law clerking job, and not to mention a very light bank account, going to the Olympics on the other side of the world wasn’t in the cards for him. He cushioned the blow to both of them by reminding her that it was best she not have the distraction, and even suggested that it was wise to set sex aside before big competitions in order to harness that energy for winning; that’s what his coaches always told him anyway. Meadow knew better than that nonsense though... sex with Logan always left her relaxed, invigorated and in sync with her body.

Nonetheless, she earned the medal that was enough to give her a good dose of celebrity. Just as he had expected, she was the subject of several news items and blogger bait, while becoming attractive content to social media channels covering the Winter Games. Almost immediately after the medal ceremony, she was offered a modeling deal with a well-known women’s athletic wear company. Modeling wasn’t her aspiration by any stretch, but it was going to pay the bills she had accumulated during the months that she had been training full time and not earning any money.

Logan was so proud of her success and accomplishments but sometimes he still felt like their relationship was all very surreal. On one hand, it made perfect sense that they had this special connection in mutually understanding what it was like to be a high achieving athlete under the microscope. And they also shared a thriving physical chemistry that he’d never felt with any girl before. On the other hand, he still found himself mystified when she’d look him in the eyes with admiration, love and desire. Had he really won over that stunning, stone cold, and totally unapproachable girl he’d first laid eyes on back when he was only 19 years old? Was she the same girl who at one time could barely look him in the eye?

Meadow’s perspective on their unusual history was a bit more akin to a dark cloud that simply cleared away. She had set that old hostility toward Logan so far aside that she mostly forgot what it felt like to dislike him. He’s just so damn likeable, how could I have ever felt anything else? The irony was not entirely lost on her, considering that it was her aloof unfriendliness that had originally set the negative tone between them. Once the fog of earlier prejudices lifted, it became so obvious to her that she was the right girl for him, on all levels: athletic, physical and emotional.

That emotional part was still tricky though. Over time he’d begun to share more of the deeply buried wounds from his chubby childhood with Meadow. In her heart, she hoped that she could help him heal his recurring feelings of not quite measuring up, especially the persistent noise in his head about his weight. She vowed to chip away at that old baggage with her love, acceptance and unwavering support. She knew she couldn’t single-handedly flip his self-image like a switch, but he’d have her voice in his life now; a voice he valued that would always remind him, you’re incredibly strong and sexy in that big, magnificent body.



Busy writing
May 8, 2006
It was their most recent Christmas together while visiting his family that she unearthed the clear roots of his insecurities. Meadow had already met his mom and dad a few times before, and they were always perfectly lovely people. But when she met his sister Nicole, she was completely astonished. How could two people raised by the same parents, who both looked so much alike, be so different in temperament and personality?

“Going for the porky look again, huh?” were the first words out of Nicole’s mouth when she walked in the door and saw her brother.

Logan bristled, and was clearly straining to remain above her unkind words. No wonder he had been so tense during their drive down to Edina. He just coolly introduced Meadow to Nicole without responding to the taunt.

Meadow could immediately see the strong evidence of their genetic connection as they were so similarly Nordic looking. Nicole was quite pretty just as Logan was handsome; taller than average, with dark blonde hair, and the same aqua colored eyes as well. She was objectively thin though, while managing to possess a voluptuousness that contrasted Meadow’s more angular, athletic shape. Meadow was never jealous of other women’s bodies, as she relished the skill and power that her own body type gave her to compete among the best in the world. But she sometimes secretly wondered what it would be like to fill a dress with cleavage and curves.

About the only catty thing Meadow could observe about Nicole’s appearance was that she looked rather old for her age. Granted, she was about four years older than Logan, but that put her just a couple of years older than Meadow. She appeared much older than that though, and seemed kind of worn for a woman only in her late 20s. Was it her spiteful personality that had aged her faster?

“The second you give up hockey you immediately go full tubbo?” Nicole shook her head with a nasty half-smile that further conveyed her condescension.

Meadow was quietly fuming for Logan, shouting out from inside of her skin, so what if he’s getting a bit fat again? He been incredibly successful at everything he’s ever done and he looks hotter than hell too!

“Logan hasn’t given up hockey,” Meadow couldn’t completely ignore Nicole’s words, and indignantly defended Logan’s active participation as the star of his law school hockey team, along with his status as the most popular ringer at his weekend pickup games, when he could fit them in his busy schedule. His regular workouts had diminished a lot but he was staying active... just not active enough to keep his appetite and its related pounds from packing themselves back on his gorgeously thick stature.

Nicole had vaguely rolled her eyes at Meadow’s response when his parents came into the living room to greet their daughter. Nicole suddenly became nicer to Meadow, and temporarily ended the insulting line of fire aimed at Logan. But there were several more subtle digs at his size throughout the evening. At dinner, she shot him an obviously judgmental look when his hand reached for a third dinner roll along with another pile of mashed potatoes. Then there were more unkind remarks after he grabbed the biggest piece of his mom’s cherished Swedish apple pie.

“You should follow your girlfriend’s lead and skip dessert,” Nicole commented to him as he loaded the pie on his plate, while she smirked at Meadow as if they were both in on the joke of Logan’s gluttony.

“No, I’m leaving for Korea in a couple of weeks,” Meadow jumped in to defend her pre-competition diet, surprised that she had to remind Nicole given the conversation they’d all just shared about her looming Olympic prospects. “Logan gets to enjoy it for me,” she patted his butt behind the counter so no one else could see the gesture, while he piled a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream onto his plate.

She really didn’t want to torture herself by even tasting it, but when Logan offered her ‘just one bite,’ she relented for his sake; and it seemed like a good way to push back on Nicole’s judgmental tone. “Mmmm, wow, that is good... I really hope you make this pie for me when I get back,” she praised his mom’s baking skills.

“Of course, I’d love to make a celebratory pie for you,” his Mom nodded. Meadow loved how ‘Minnesota nice’ his parents were; unfortunately that was in stark contrast to his sister’s personality.

“Whipped cream?” Meadow offered Logan further indulgence for his already heaping plate of dessert, brushing her other hand along his arm in reassurance. She knew she was probably going too far in encouraging him like this in front of his family, but she wanted his sister to see that she loved Logan just as he was, including his porky parts; and that she would never go along with scolding him about his considerable appetite, especially at a holiday meal.

After dinner, Mrs. Hansen talked privately to Meadow. “I’m sorry if their sibling rivalry made you uncomfortable.”

“Does she always treat him like that?” Meadow was just relieved someone had acknowledged it.

His mom nodded with an apologetic sadness in her eyes. “Nicole has always been hard on him; from the day we brought him home. I honestly don’t think she ever got over being replaced as the baby of the family.”

“That’s depressing,” Meadow blurted in honesty. “I was an only child... I grew up wishing I’d had a brother or a sister. They don’t know how lucky they are.”

His mom nodded more in understanding. “Logan has grown up a lot, but Nicole hasn’t been around enough to work through her issues,” she explained more. “I hope someday they realize that they both need family.”

Meadow nodded back in agreement. Neither of them had big extended families nor many relatives in the area. Logan had a lot of good friends, but they weren’t family. Meadow knew her circle was even smaller, but she understood why; being a child of immigrants and preferring a mostly solitary lifestyle had kept her own personal network very limited.

“Logan’s brother, was a big man,” Mrs. Hansen explained to Meadow the possible roots of Logan’s heaviness, as though she hoped Meadow wouldn’t join the bandwagon of blame for her son’s for his large appetite and related predisposition to roundness. “He’s struggled his whole life…”

“He’s also accomplished so many things that matter so much more,” she wanted to reassure his mom that she wasn’t going to be another source of negativity. “His weight doesn’t matter to me at all, truly.” Meadow knew that was a bit of a while lie though, as his weight did matter to her, but not in any way that she cared to elaborate on with his mom, of all people.

Then Mrs. Hansen said something that touched Meadow deeply. “Logan’s Dad and I are just really happy he has found someone who cares for him like you do. He’s always had to put up a tough front... but he’s really a wonderful, big, sweet kid; and we can see he loves you very much.”

“I know,” she blushed and choked up a little, “I feel the same way about him.” At least with Logan and his family, she was expanding her circle in a healthy direction. If only his sister could be less horrible...

Later that same night, back at Logan’s apartment, while enjoying the way his stuffed and swollen tummy felt up against her body in bed, Meadow dug a little deeper into his family issues, with the blunt honesty that he had seemed to have gotten used to from her. “Is your sister always a total bitch to you?”

“She generally is,” he shrugged complacently. He hated the way Meadow had to witness their sibling dysfunction, but knowing that she was sympathetic when it came to the weight stuff helped him get through it without lashing out; and kind of lessened the sting of Nicole’s taunts.

“She’s obviously jealous of you,” Meadow cut to the chase quickly. She had figured that out within minutes of seeing their dynamic, and his mother’s words only cemented the notion.

Logan shook his head with a laugh, “Hardly. She was always the popular one, everything came easy to her... she never had to struggle at anything.”

“I guess that left you with being the talented, brilliant and hard-working one,” Meadow retorted.

In spite of those flattering words, Logan stayed sullen, “She’s always had a way of making me feel like crap.”

“It’s not right what she does to you,” Meadow consoled him. “But you have nothing to feel like crap about either.”

“It was nice of you to defend me tonight,” he forced a smile, “but you don’t have to get involved.”

“I couldn’t help it. I mean, really? Making a federal case out of other people’s dietary choices at a holiday meal?” Meadow was having a hard time dropping her urge of protectiveness.

“I used to throw it back at her... ripping on her constant stream of dirtbag boyfriends, calling her slutty, and making fun of her boring accounting job,” he admitted. “But that got old and made my parents even more miserable.”

Meadow nodded quietly. She had been rather annoyed by his lack of response to Nicole’s insults, but she now understood his restraint and admired him all the more for it.

“It’s not like I have to see her very often,” he explained further. “My life improved a lot when she decided to go to college in Arizona and ended up staying there. Now she only comes home every couple of years so I just ignore her when I have to see her.”

“She’s seriously suffering from acute sibling jealousy,” Meadow reiterated what was undoubtedly true. No matter how superior Nicole may have acted, she must have carried those immature childhood resentments pretty far along through the years. And she probably lived a bit in his shadow too once he began to achieve at a very high level in athletics and academics; all of which likely fueled even more antipathy between them.

He still looked at her with cynicism all over his face.

“You are an incredible, strong and dignified man,” she brushed his bangs away from his ocean-colored eyes and looked intently into them. “Whatever your weight is doesn’t change any of that.”

He softened his expression and wrapped his arms fully around her.

Meadow was grateful he’d confided in her, but it also gave her fantasies a reality check. He had come a long way in accepting her desires, as she could get away with a lot of belly grabbing and fat probing in bed, along with those playful dessert feedings too. As long as it was leading up to sex, in the heat of passion, or while basking in the intimacy afterwards, he seemed pretty game. But she wasn’t about to ask him to get into the more fetishy things she thought about like weigh-ins and fat talk; those ideas came too close to what had wounded him in his younger years. Sometimes a fantasy is just a fantasy and our reality is far too good to jeopardize it.


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