Padding was a big part of me as it was the only way I could live my fantasies. I would love to hear your experiences. Around the age of six or seven, after being fascinated by weight gain on others, I started to fantasize about getting fat myself. The weird feelings I got were more intense. So intense, I convinced my childhood friends to play games in which I was the fat character. I remember loving the feeling. Looking down seeing a belly bulging out, how thick I felt, and feeling my belly rest on my lap, gave me a sense of heart racing excitement which could have been some form of arousal. I could not understand why I liked/wanted this. Around 9, I started doing it in private in the dead of night. I was starting a quest to make it look and feel as realistic as possible. At 12, I was slowly gathering materials such as sweat pants and special pillows. Eventually, I finally got the weight and jiggle I desired when I filled a beach ball with water. But it was so heavy it kept falling out. I got a hold of a one piece swim suit to hold everything together. Over it I wore a flesh colored shirt, even going as far as to sew a bellybutton on it. I basically built my own fat suit. Late 12, my first sexual experience happened while padding. Since then, all my padding sessions had to end that way. I padded up every chance I knew I would be alone for hours at a time. My curiosity led me to leave my room to my parents room so I could see myself in their wall high mirror. Looking at myself in my fattened form the feeling was other worldly. I often loss track of time watching myself sitting and laying to exercising to eating. I got more daring and started roaming around the house living like a fat person. Then one day at 17, after a few day of false alarm noises, I became reckless. I was in my parents room in a state of fullness and arousal the world faded away. I was imagining being full after being fed by someone. I was then jolted back to reality. My family came home earlier than expected! They were already in and I couldn't run to my room. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I bolted to the bathroom all padded up. My parents talked to me asking about my day through the bathroom door. I answered calmly. I took everything off and his it under the sink and snuck to my room in a towel. I felt so strange. This is not normal, I thought. I still was in a state of panic. Under the darkness, I threw away everything I had relating to this fetish- padding clothes, stories I wrote, and drawings. Ending a weird chapter of my life. This whole time I though I was the only one. Never had a clue that there were others. I still had the occasional fantasy. It wasn't until I was 23 I found this place.