Preference VS fetish.

Dimensions Magazine

Help Support Dimensions Magazine:

Status
Not open for further replies.

thatgirl08

KNOW IT ALL
Joined
Apr 20, 2008
Messages
4,897
Location
,
how many do you think those posts are out of the 858 percentage wise? i wish we had just as many in the "what have you done for SA besides post in this forum" thread. maybe we need a "i've done nothing for SA besides be overly argumentative and complain" thread.
hahahaha this is the best post in this thread.
 

Fascinita

Jeez, we're blessed!
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Messages
4,152
Location
,
how many do you think those posts are out of the 858 percentage wise? i wish we had just as many in the "what have you done for SA besides post in this forum" thread. maybe we need a "i've done nothing for SA besides be overly argumentative and complain" thread.
I hear you, Felicia. You don't like complaining OR this thread.

Wait... What are you doing here?

Oh. Right. You're complaining. :happy:

Not for anything (as I like to say), Felicia, but how is your post any more productive or positive than any other post on this thread? I'm not convinced that scolding is better than arguing. And ideas matter. And best of all, we can be thankful that the expression of most ideas--even very crummy ones--is allowed here on Dims.

Ain't it great?

What's your take on "preference vs. fetish," anyway? Let's talk. :D
 

mollycoddles

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2006
Messages
207
Location
,
I hear you, Felicia. You don't like complaining OR this thread.

Wait... What are you doing here?

Oh. Right. You're complaining. :happy:

Not for anything (as I like to say), Felicia, but how is your post any more productive or positive than any other post on this thread? I'm not convinced that scolding is better than arguing. And ideas matter. And best of all, we can be thankful that the expression of most ideas--even very crummy ones--is allowed here on Dims.

Ain't it great?

What's your take on "preference vs. fetish," anyway? Let's talk. :D
^ Yes, This.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
I hear you, Felicia. You don't like complaining OR this thread.

Wait... What are you doing here?

Oh. Right. You're complaining. :happy:

Not for anything (as I like to say), Felicia, but how is your post any more productive or positive than any other post on this thread? I'm not convinced that scolding is better than arguing. And ideas matter. And best of all, we can be thankful that the expression of most ideas--even very crummy ones--is allowed here on Dims.

Ain't it great?

What's your take on "preference vs. fetish," anyway? Let's talk. :D
respectfully:

i just thought the thread could use a little reality check thats all. there are lots of people here who love arguing over minutia in ways that don't do anything for the community. people are always going to have fetishes. people are always going to dislike the idea of fetish. my eyes are brown. someone else's are blue. this won't change much in that respect,but in the end everyone here either is or likes fat people and feels the pressure from that or have people they care about who do. it would just be nice to see more about that instead of the general tendency to attack each other over personal tendencies etc...maybe people like arguing about that more because it doesn't require them to actually DO anything but sit at thier comp. maybe its distracting them from the fact that they should be taking some of thier concerns about fat out into the world and remembering to protect each other? but i guess its more important to get thier way on here than to really fight for anything that makes a difference for everybody on here other than having the satifaction of convincing oneself smuggly of being right. its a fake kind of power that people get from this in my opinion. what about some real power? it would just be nice if it was an argument about something truly constructive for once like exactly where to go on a march or what kind of a local group would be best for creating support--anything. but this will just end up being another ball of nothing. so go ahead and keep on with this unproductive stuff while the world is hating on just about everybody here. people talk a lot about ideas here but when is there ever going to be any heated discussion about action? *hears crickets*
 

Sugar

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
1,527
Location
Colorado
respectfully:

i just thought the thread could use a little reality check thats all. there are lots of people here who love arguing over minutia in ways that don't do anything for the community. people are always going to have fetishes. people are always going to dislike the idea of fetish. my eyes are brown. someone else's is blue. this won't change much in that respect,but in the end everyone here either is or likes fat people and feels the pressure from that or have people they care about who do. it would just be nice to see more about that instead of the general tendency to attack each other over personal tendencies etc...maybe people like arguing about that more because it doesn't require them to actually DO anything but sit at thier comp. maybe its distracting them from the fact that they should be taking some of thier concerns about fat out into the world and remembering to protect each other? but i guess its more important to get thier way on here than to really fight for anything that makes a difference for everybody on here other than having the satifaction of convincing oneself smuggly of being right. its a fake kind of power that people get from this in my opinion. what about some real power? it would just be nice if it was an argument about something truly constructive for once like going on a march or creating a local group for support--anything. but this will just end up being another ball of nothing.
so go ahead and keep on with this unproductive stuff while the world is hating on everybody here.
Naturally this thread started as one thing and turned into another. IMO what it boiled down to was that no, there are people on this board that do not like fat people and they've shown it in various ways.

You're right the infighting can be ugly and gross and concerning. That doesn't mean that concerns shouldn't be addressed on both sides of an issue and it is important to discuss.

If one is to see growth there first has to be conflict and resolution.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
Naturally this thread started as one thing and turned into another. IMO what it boiled down to was that no, there are people on this board that do not like fat people and they've shown it in various ways.

You're right the infighting can be ugly and gross and concerning. That doesn't mean that concerns shouldn't be addressed on both sides of an issue and it is important to discuss.

If one is to see growth there first has to be conflict and resolution.
i agree with that. but i guess after the years of hearing the same old arguments by the same old people i'm ready to see some juice behind something people are ready to agree on and will help anyone. how many times are people going to go over this? and when is there ever going to be any effort to do anything that will help everybody here? i'm sorry i guess my patience is waining when it comes to doing nothing but talking, arguing and often insulting other people who are really all in the same boat. the boat just seems to be going around in circles and not getting anywhere*sigh*. nearly 900 posts getting us nowhere while feeling SA is about action--yes it makes me feel impatient. nearly 900 posts while other people need our help. i need to say goodnight. i have something i need to do.
 

Sugar

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
1,527
Location
Colorado
i agree with that. but i guess after the years of hearing the same old arguments by the same old people i'm ready to see some juice behind something people are ready to agree on and will help anyone. how many times are people going to go over this? and when is there ever going to be any effort to do anything that will help everybody here? i'm sorry i guess my patience is waining when it comes to doing nothing but talking, arguing and often insulting other people who are really all in the same boat. the boat just seems to be going around in circles and not getting anywhere*sigh*. nearly 900 posts getting us nowhere while feeling SA is about action--yes it makes me feel impatient. nearly 900 posts while other people need our help. i need to say goodnight. i have something i need to do.
I really feel ya on that. Sometimes you have to let others fall for them to learn a lesson.
 

Fascinita

Jeez, we're blessed!
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Messages
4,152
Location
,
maybe people like arguing about that more because it doesn't require them to actually DO anything but sit at thier comp.
I disagree with your analysis, Felicia.

The computer is important. What happens here is important. This website draws lots of traffic, and lots of people exchange ideas here. That is real. Ideas have real impact. And talking about ideas is action.

but this will just end up being another ball of nothing. so go ahead and keep on with this unproductive stuff while the world is hating on just about everybody here.
And I disagree that it's a ball of nothing. I'm an optimist and I believe in dialogue--even when it's difficult.

Time will tell which of us is right. And that's OK with me.
 

Fascinita

Jeez, we're blessed!
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Messages
4,152
Location
,
and when is there ever going to be any effort to do anything that will help everybody here?
Hey, Felicia, if this is directed at me, contact me by PM and I can respond privately about my efforts to help make this site better. I'd be happy to discuss the work I've been involved in here, but I don't really like tooting my horn in public. Thanks.
 

katorade

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,446
Location
,
i agree with that. but i guess after the years of hearing the same old arguments by the same old people i'm ready to see some juice behind something people are ready to agree on and will help anyone. how many times are people going to go over this? and when is there ever going to be any effort to do anything that will help everybody here? i'm sorry i guess my patience is waining when it comes to doing nothing but talking, arguing and often insulting other people who are really all in the same boat. the boat just seems to be going around in circles and not getting anywhere*sigh*. nearly 900 posts getting us nowhere while feeling SA is about action--yes it makes me feel impatient. nearly 900 posts while other people need our help. i need to say goodnight. i have something i need to do.
Here's a bullhorn, there's the door to the outside world. Sometimes when you want action to be taken, you have to take it yourself.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
Hey, Felicia, if this is directed at me, contact me by PM and I can respond privately about my efforts to help make this site better. I'd be happy to discuss the work I've been involved in here, but I don't really like tooting my horn in public. Thanks.
no that was directed at the whole of dims. because besides self serving stuff little or nothing seems to ever happen. and when i've tried to organize things--no bite. i definitely haven't been asked to do anything. luckily there are plenty of people here locally who are willing. but it would be nice if something with an international exposure and a wealth of talent could be mobilized.

it bothers me a lil that you feel that i have to PM you to find out what you've done. its not about judging you or criticizing you about that. you don't have to explain anything to me personally. but its a shame you evidently don't feel safe enough here that you can say what you do if for nothing else than to inspire and even have people to join and support you. and you are probably right that someone will be after you trying to say that you think you are a big deal. well, you are a big deal and so is everyone else here. it really is depressing that people aren't acting like it because a few people always seem to take everything as a negative personal commentary on what they are and are not doing. the whole place seems to be emprisioned by that kind of narrow selfish thinking.

whats happening that people here who work in SA feel they have to somehow keep it under wraps? that makes me feel there is something really kind of unhealthy about a site, one of whose major concerns is SA, that doesn't allow people to feel comfortable about the good stuff they do to help the cause. that silence is probably the reason why so many people feel justified in thier negative judgements of other people. they never get the entire picture of another person's dedication to the idea of SA. overall it saddens me that many things here are so very secretive, even things that we should be glad of and happy about. since when has it become shameful to do something good for SA? why are people in an SA closet? i just can't understand it. it just doesn't make sense to me. i hope you change your mind and post on the thread about what you do for SA. i think its important for people to get ideas about what they can do from that. and there is nothing wrong with your getting the respect for the work you do. then whether anyone ever agreed with you or not about anything it would be further reinforcement for everyone that your heart is in the right place--which i already know it is. there is a huge lack of trust here that needs to be worked on. and that has something to do with why people are so fetish averse here as well. i guess when you think someone is all fetish and sociopathic in that you get afraid. so maybe it would help if people got to undesrtand the entire person instead of just a small part of someone. we're al the sum of all of our parts.
 

JoyJoy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
3,327
Location
,
The thing that keeps striking me about this is that many of us come here to help us feel a little more normal by being around those who encounter the same things we do in every day life. Interacting with others who understand us helps us all live a life that is pro-size acceptance, by learning to accept ourselves as fat people and show it every single day. That's pretty much all I do to support size acceptance - just be myself with pride (most of the time). For many, that should be enough, and if dimensions professes to support helping people find that, it should do so in every way. Soooo...when we encounter things here - attitudes, stories, personalities - that contradict size acceptance or make people in general uncomfortable, yes, people are going to speak up about it, as it should be. I mean, right or wrong, many, many of us came to feel like this was our home on the 'net - hence the family pics, etc. We grew close to the people here and treasured the sense of community. I think those of us who have spent a lot of time here knew what was in the library, basically...but we trusted that, because this was a size acceptance site, everything there was in some way respectful of that...not to mention the fact that I personally just assumed that those in charge of the library had enough common sense to keep out questionable stuff like stories about minors. The stories have never been my thing, so I had never looked. Finding out otherwise has been disconcerting, at best.

I honestly haven't read all of the debate surrounding this general issue, and I know I'm chiming in late to the game and the horse is starting to stink. It's just been too tiresome to jump in before now. So, I don't know if this has already been said this time around, but I've said it a couple of times before and got the evil eye of death from some...but because I still believe it wholeheartedly I'll say it again...this is what happens when you attempt to jam together two opposite aspects of anything - in this case, size acceptance and the fetish-y side of loving fat. Yes, the fetishes are part of learning to love our fat bodies, but IMO, the fetishes should come after a person has learned to be comfortable in their own skin - not while they're in the beginning phases of it, and some people never do get comfortable with the more "extreme" sides of the fat fetish stuff, so when it's all mushed together, there will definitely be issues.

To those who are trying to defend their fetishes and wank fodder housed here - I get it, I really do. I just don't like the way some of you go about it, by dismissing those who are uncomfortable with it being here as if they're just looking for a soapbox to shout from. I also wish there was some way to please both sides - you get to keep your stories, etc (underage crap being an exception), and we get a "home" free of such things. It would be totally awesome if we had a place to go where we could just "be" and talk about life stuff in general without all of the sexual pictures and weight gain and other fetish type stuff. Sadly, though, I think we may have to go elsewhere to get that.
 

cinnamitch

nope
Joined
Jun 30, 2007
Messages
3,002
Location
,
Someone please hand Joy some rep, i am totally out of it but she hit it on the head.

The thing that keeps striking me about this is that many of us come here to help us feel a little more normal by being around those who encounter the same things we do in every day life. Interacting with others who understand us helps us all live a life that is pro-size acceptance, by learning to accept ourselves as fat people and show it every single day. That's pretty much all I do to support size acceptance - just be myself with pride (most of the time). For many, that should be enough, and if dimensions professes to support helping people find that, it should do so in every way. Soooo...when we encounter things here - attitudes, stories, personalities - that contradict size acceptance or make people in general uncomfortable, yes, people are going to speak up about it, as it should be. I mean, right or wrong, many, many of us came to feel like this was our home on the 'net - hence the family pics, etc. We grew close to the people here and treasured the sense of community. I think those of us who have spent a lot of time here knew what was in the library, basically...but we trusted that, because this was a size acceptance site, everything there was in some way respectful of that...not to mention the fact that I personally just assumed that those in charge of the library had enough common sense to keep out questionable stuff like stories about minors. The stories have never been my thing, so I had never looked. Finding out otherwise has been disconcerting, at best.

I honestly haven't read all of the debate surrounding this general issue, and I know I'm chiming in late to the game and the horse is starting to stink. It's just been too tiresome to jump in before now. So, I don't know if this has already been said this time around, but I've said it a couple of times before and got the evil eye of death from some...but because I still believe it wholeheartedly I'll say it again...this is what happens when you attempt to jam together two opposite aspects of anything - in this case, size acceptance and the fetish-y side of loving fat. Yes, the fetishes are part of learning to love our fat bodies, but IMO, the fetishes should come after a person has learned to be comfortable in their own skin - not while they're in the beginning phases of it, and some people never do get comfortable with the more "extreme" sides of the fat fetish stuff, so when it's all mushed together, there will definitely be issues.

To those who are trying to defend their fetishes and wank fodder housed here - I get it, I really do. I just don't like the way some of you go about it, by dismissing those who are uncomfortable with it being here as if they're just looking for a soapbox to shout from. I also wish there was some way to please both sides - you get to keep your stories, etc (underage crap being an exception), and we get a "home" free of such things. It would be totally awesome if we had a place to go where we could just "be" and talk about life stuff in general without all of the sexual pictures and weight gain and other fetish type stuff. Sadly, though, I think we may have to go elsewhere to get that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Top