question about hugs

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thatgirl08

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I am from a non-hugger upbringing. I was introduced to "huggers" by my wife, who is a member of Mensa. Many Mensans grow up feeling separated from their peers because of their intelligence or have suffered taunts because of their geekiness, so when they meet each other they want to show mutual acceptance by hugging. I am not a member, but when I attend an event, I do end up hugging many of the people when we are introduced. There is a protocal that if the person you meet has a nametag with a red colored sticker, they happen to be a Mensan that either does not hug or would like to be asked first. I have found after ten years of exposure to that environment, I am much more apt to hug members of my family when we meet than I was before. I can appreciate the platonic side of a hug now, rather than thinking of it as always being romantic.
That's really interesting about the Mensans. I used to aspire to be part of Mensa when I was a child.. hilarious to me now as those people are like geniuses.
 

bigbri

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A high IQ does not necessarily guarantee genius. The concentration of people who could not find their own "behind" with their two hands and a flashlight is frequently greater at a Mensa event than other social situations.
 

Surlysomething

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We have a very huggy family. I didn't like it for quite a while when our family's first melded together, but now it's one of the best parts of being a family. Some days you really need to 'feel' love, you know?
 

thatgirl08

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A high IQ does not necessarily guarantee genius. The concentration of people who could not find their own "behind" with their two hands and a flashlight is frequently greater at a Mensa event than other social situations.
lol, I've heard that before.
 

likeitmatters

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I'm not a huggy person. It's not that I haven't tried, it's just that it has always made me feel uncomfortable. I'm a snuggler but not a hugger.
I maybe accused of being a huggy and snuggler and truly blessed I guess. Though when I was younger I would not hug my father because I was living up and growing up on long island new york.

I came to enjoy hugging my father later on in life and I feel truly blessed to tell my father that I loved him very much and hugged and kissed him and that he was truly the best father bar none and my mom the best...if you go to the gay part of this lovely website, see the stories of a gay man coming out and you will see my story and it is beyond belief how wonderful my life turned out.

:bow::bow:
 

NYC_FFA

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I'm a hugger, but I know not everyone is, so I'm always really hesitant. I wait to get a cue from the other person that it's okay. I love hugs, though. There are few things in the world that feel as good as a good hug. :happy:
 

squurp

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I come from a very huggy type family and I grew up with the notion that it was quite normal to hug man women and children and being italian it was quite normal. Now that I am living down in south carolina for many years(good luck new york), I have noticed something over the years which sort of disturbs me somewhat. When family members see each other, they rarely hug or even kiss on the cheek(that is normal for me too) and I do not understand that at all.

To me a hug is a hug and not meant to be sexual at all or am I am from another time and place? I have a new roommate living with me and he is totally straight(thank god) no drama or requests for sex and he works but that is another matter. And every night he walks in he gives me a hug to know he is glad to be home.

I just do not understand people these days. If I was to meet anyone from this site, I would give you a hug or is not PC these days? or are you going to call the police for possible sexual harassment? (that is somewhat over used these days with people in general)

anyone thoughts...

:bow:
People are different everywhere if you want to hug, hug! if people get uptight about it, its their problem. I have one side of my family that is warm and huggy, and that's fine. The other side is much more detached, and, they are ok too - they express in other more subtle ways. to each their own. You are not wrong to hug.
 

WillSpark

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I'm really big on the hugging. When I do, I offer, arms outstretched. They can accept of deny and we continue, but I've been told I give the world's best hugs.

I'm also just all around touchy-feely. My friend and I poke each other, pick each other up, piggy back rides, the whole shebang. The majority of us are in theater and are overly energetic, emotional, and expressive anyway so it manifests itself into fun platonic physical interaction.
 

lovelocs

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I like a hug, and LIM, I'm glad you have a huggy roomate. I'm also glad you have someone cool to be with after suffering so much loss. Sometimes just not being alone is a blessing...

Strangely enough, I've never thought of hugs as sexual. Maybe because I grew up hugging relatives. Kinda killed off the eroticism. When I hug a lover, I always see it as a preliminary...:p

Lastly, if you're unsure as to whether someone wants a hug, you could always open your arms and smile at them. If they fall in and hug back, you're golden!
 

IszyStone

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I'm also just all around touchy-feely. My friend and I poke each other, pick each other up, piggy back rides, the whole shebang. The majority of us are in theater and are overly energetic, emotional, and expressive anyway so it manifests itself into fun platonic physical interaction.
That sounds just like me and my friends. :) Yay overly energetic people

As a cultural thing it's very common in polynesia. Back in the day, and still in places like New Zealand, the traditional greeting was a nose to nose sharing of breath. Very personal. Now it's pretty accepted here that when it's male/female greeting it's a kiss on the cheek, female/female is the same, and male/male is that hug/handshake thing. For my family I love to hug them, but my brother doesn't like it so it usually ends up as a hug-shove-arm punch. My cat also doesn't like that I'm a hugger, she's an antisocial kitty.
 

Ninja Glutton

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I always go in for the hug. There's something so innocent about it. I hug both my male and female friends.

I'd say it's perfectly PC unless it's like a random stranger on the street.
 

DreamyInToronto

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I come from a very huggy type family and I grew up with the notion that it was quite normal to hug man women and children and being italian it was quite normal. Now that I am living down in south carolina for many years(good luck new york), I have noticed something over the years which sort of disturbs me somewhat. When family members see each other, they rarely hug or even kiss on the cheek(that is normal for me too) and I do not understand that at all.

To me a hug is a hug and not meant to be sexual at all or am I am from another time and place? I have a new roommate living with me and he is totally straight(thank god) no drama or requests for sex and he works but that is another matter. And every night he walks in he gives me a hug to know he is glad to be home.

I just do not understand people these days. If I was to meet anyone from this site, I would give you a hug or is not PC these days? or are you going to call the police for possible sexual harassment? (that is somewhat over used these days with people in general)

anyone thoughts...

:bow:
likeitmatters, I would be honoured to meet you one day and I would certainly give you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek!!! xoxo Maybe we will meet one day at a Dimensions event!

Cheers,
DreamyInToronto xoxo
 

MaybeX

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Didn't grow up in a huggy or demonstrative family, and used to be quite hesitant about it in my younger days.
I've become much more open and tactile as I've matured, but generally still sorta need an indication that a hug (or kiss) is wanted. :)
 

likeitmatters

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To me guys and dolls, a hug is a hug and I personally cannot understand why somebody would not want a hug. A hug brings us humans closer to each other at least in my humble opinion. I tell everybody I meet that I am a hugger and I tell them that a hug is a hug and nothing more. I love to feel the energy of the person I am hugging and gives me a warm and snuggly feeling.

My roommate is straight and he actually loves when I hug him and I sometimes dont let him go for a few minutes...it gives ya a sense of being wanted and feel better the whole day....:)
 

toni

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To me guys and dolls, a hug is a hug and I personally cannot understand why somebody would not want a hug. A hug brings us humans closer to each other at least in my humble opinion.
Thats cool. I can jive with that whole kumbaya thing. I just don't want to do it with everyone. I think a hug is much more special when reserved ONLY for the people we love. Not every single person or family member you come in contact with.
 

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