Things we break - New Stories 03.01.2018

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DazzlingAnna

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Sorry for picking this half sentence from your previous post but this is an issue with me and air mattresses - 'getting on them'. Haven't tried for a while but it would definitely cause some attention 🤣
I actually have two air mattress incidents. In both cases the mattresses ended in a poor pile of rubber rubbish.

First one happened some time ago, maybe 15-20 years. I had a very nice pool floating mattress. It looked like an island with a palm tree and a overdimensioned banana as a pillow. We used this on a lake not on a pool. Once I had entered this island I was kind of stuck on it because when I went down to swim a little there was no chance to get back on it. Generally speaking I should have been able, evrryone else was but I wasn't.

The last day of this island it happened that I was with someone else on the island and I was about to slide down from it. I tried to hold me tight on the palm tree which was immediately teared off from the main mattress which caused a main air pressure loss in the main body and all over sudden we were swimming instead of floating.

Second incident:
When I was about finishing university I sold a lot of stuff because I didn't need it anymore.
One thing I obviously sold too early was my bed. But I had a brilliant alternative. Air mattress, inflatable bed, one of the medium sized ones.

Turned out I was to heavy for them because every night I woke up. Each night at least one of these inner connections that are made to give some stability (?) broke/teared off inside and turned into little mountains while I was sinking down to the floor. Next night: more air pressure, same procedure. Very uncomfortable for about two weeks.

So whenever I am invited to stay overnight at someone else's place I refuse to sleep on those inflatable beds. For reasons. (One is that I am at least +50 kg/ + 110lbs heavier than back then.)
 

Tad

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Those floaty toys can be tough! When I was in university we often went up to a lake outside the city (one of my friend's had a family cottage on the lake, but the rest of the family didn't use it much, so it was just him and his sister taking turns inviting friends up during the Summer). One year we got a floating island (on ours the palm tree inflated seperately and just fit into a socket), and we used to have major fights multiple times a day as everyone would try to get on it and dump off those who were already on. Remarkably the island survived all that climbing and dumping and general rough-housing all Summer and part way into the next year before springing a leak. But if the palm tree on that had been attached to the main island part, for sure we would have torn it apart the same way Ana did, holding onto the tree (in our case to try to keep from being dragged from the mattress).

We did find that we could tuck the palm tree in behind the rear bench of a canoe, then while sitting on that bench you could lean back against the tree very comfortably. Then if you took the rope used to secure the canoe, and tied it around the neck of a bottle of schnapps, you could leave the bottle hanging in the water to stay cool, and just pull it up when you wanted a drink. I got one of the worst sunburns of my life doing that!
 

op user

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A T-shirt is recommended if one wants to spent time on those floating toys.
 

Rob hudson

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The only break story I have is once, in a cheap apartment with an even cheaper twin bed, my then-girlfriend climbed on it (taking up most of it at about 335 pounds) and the frame cracked lol when I climbed on top of her. We sank down and fell off it, laughing.
Luckily I was able to fix it with a new bolt.
No other interesting breakage stories, alas.
 

op user

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When a 335 pound lady (or larger) is involved we always offer her the top position and encourage her to take it.
 

andycarter

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I watched a super tall, super heavy woman with really big legs partially break a chair waiting for carryout dining this week. She sat on the middle of three chairs, spilling onto the two next to her. When another person arrived she moved two of the chairs to have some separation from the third, and sat on them both. When another person arrived she took one chair off by itself and gingerly sat on it. Every little move she made the plastic seat bent like hell and made popping noises. She tried a couple times to stand a bit and scoot backwards into the chair. Each time she did that she also had to pull the chair forward, because it would try to escape backwards when she sat. I watched the base of the chair bend each time she did that. About the third time she sat there was a cracking noise and she stopped moving, and pulled her feet under her to brace herself. She relaxed, but then looked like she just about lost her balance and fell off the chair. She slowly pushed her feet back out in front of her, but compensated by leaning hard against the back of the chair, which bent far back. I tested with my chair and couldn't get mine to bend that far, and I'm a really big guy. I was sure she had broken hers.

When someone left, she stood up for about a minute, isolated a different chair, and sat carefully in it. When I stood I examined her first chair. The seat bottom was cracked around two of the four mounts that attach it to the metal base.
 

andycarter

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I have a chair breaking story that isn't entirely my own.

Some time ago I was doing a job in an admin office where I knew someone whose girlfriend worked there. She was always there and he was sometimes there. She was a very big girl, and she had a chair from the cafeteria because she needed one without arms, and she needed one that wasn't wooden, according to him. Her chair didn't look sturdy at all. It was made of a soft plastic. But it was way sturdier than it looked. It had a metal base, and there were metal tubes that ran down the sides of the inside of the hollow plastic seat, and up the back of the chair. The legs didn't look very bulky, but when she sat on it the legs didn't spread apart much at all. But she'd come in and go behind her desk and plop into that thing like she weighed nothing, and the thing would make a metallic screech, but it held her just fine. When she moved it screeched. WHen she stood it screeched.

I guessed at the time she weighed 500 pounds. He told me she weighed more than that, but didn't say how much. She wore dresses, which hid her legs, but there was no hiding the width of those hips. She turned sideways a bit to get through the door, and she swished loudly when she walked.

I thought that chair was holding her well, until I examined it one night and found that the base was twisted so that not all four legs touched the floor at the same time until you sat in it, one pair of legs was spread wider than the others, the back of the chair was leaning back enough that the metal tubes were separated from the grooves in the plastic that they were supposed to fit into, the metal tubes that ran down the sides of the seat had torn through the plastic in the top, at the front of the chair, and under the chair the plastic at the ends of those tubes was torn, and there were stress marks in the bottom of the plastic seat and it bent way too easily when you sat on it, like the plastic forward of the metal brace that ran through the center of the chair was going to fold in half with any weight on it.

Still, she'd come in and *woomph* plop into it like she weighed nothing.

Then one day she had a different color chair, and it didn't screech when she sat in it. He told me what came of the last one. He and her were alone in the office and he was sitting in her chair and he told her to sit on him and she did. Their combined weight on his narrower butt had crushed the hollow seat, and at first that's all he felt. Just the normally smooshy soft plastic seat hitting hard bottom. He had to push his feet forward to keep his shins from breaking, and that put a lot of weight on the front of the chair. The hollow plastic seat, and the metal tubes that ran through it, folded forward of the metal base, the chair shot backwards, and she landed on him on the floor.

That's his "I almost died being kinky with my girlfriend at work" story. Everyone has one of those, right?
 

loopytheone

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Thanks for sharing all these awesome stories! I wish I had more to share but I'm kind of a hermit and my 200 lb self doesn't tend to cause too many weight bearing problems, hah.

Anybody want to donate me a beautiful super sized person, lol?
 

voluptuouslover

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I have broken 2 office chairs. Not quite collapse but broke the function of the chair and the wheels wouldn’t roll anymore.
When I turn over my bed and settle I. It seems to be rocking and squeezing aggressively lately with the extra 30 lbs. I have packed on.....I am sure my wife notices the bed when I move around and is hoping it doesn’t collapse.....that would be arousing and embarrassing all at the same time.
 

Shotha

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My office chair at home is on its last legs. The seat now sinks under my weight, even without me pressing the lever to adjust the height. This reminds me that one of the legs on my last home office chair just suddenly snapped. I don't know how I avoided falling but I didn't fall.
 

Barrett

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The last thing I broke was a computer/office chair in my bedroom.
I had leaned over to the side to grab a DVD off a lower shelf of my bookcase, and the chair pedestal snapped, and I got dumped out on the floor, along with the top half of the chair.
I had just broken one of those plastic molded patio chairs when I sat in it the previous weekend at my sister's house, so my pride was already bruised.
At least I was alone when my computer chair broke; there were several witnesses to the death of the patio chair.

My current computer chair isn't fairing very well, either. The hydraulics gave out last year, so I've had to adjust to sitting in it with the seat at its lowest level.
I can raise it up, but it drops like a stone as soon as my weight settles on it.
And despite it being an extra wide chair, I've had to remove the arms so I could fit into it.
Thankfully, it's a bit sturdier than my previous computer chair, and there's a much smaller chance of it breaking with the seat level cratered-out.

To avoid further embarrassment, especially in public, if I think there's even the slightest chance a piece of furniture won't hold my weight without cracking or breaking, I won't even attempt to sit in or on it.
 

Tad

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My computer chair at my work-from-home-desk is breaking up the linoleum tiles I'm rolling it across. I wonder if flooring has a recommended weight or pressure limit?

Fortunately we have a few left over tiles from when we quickly tiled it after we moved in (there was awful carpeting that we pulled out, and between allergies and having a cat we didn't want to put down new carpet, and linoleum tiles were quick and easy to put down in the bedrooms and den). But I wonder how long the new tiles will last? Maybe I can find one of those plastic boards for use under rolling chairs?
 

Rob hudson

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Nope, those plastic boards crack and splinter, too, after a while.
Suggest laying a plywood square or something.
 
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Shotha

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These days my computer desk chair at home rips up the carpet under my weight. It seams like floor covering definitely have their weight limits. A number of years ago I knew a guy, who must have been well over 400 lb, and he managed to put a foot through the floorboards several times.
 
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littlefairywren

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So it seems that office chairs are a running theme hehe.

I've recently bought myself a new BIG chair because the last one I had had a nylon star base and the wheel went on me. I was sitting happily one moment and then I tilted forward suddenly (so lucky it wasn't backwards), crashing into my table which stopped me landing on the ground. The hole bit where the wheel goes had snapped and bang. My new baby has a solid steel base so I won't go falling anywhere.

Nope, those plastic boards crack and splinter, too, after a while.
Suggest laying a plywood square or something.
My floor is doing that! Little cracks and some large splinters right under where I sit.

I also have that air mattress problem too, @DazzlingAnna hehe. The last time I went camping forever ago, I slept on an air mattress and every night it slowly deflated and I ended up on hard lumpy ground. Never going camping again! Glamping maybe. Even if I managed to get myself down on one now, I'd wouldn't be able to get back up again lol.
 

Rob hudson

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Camping. Where you spend money to live like a homeless person. Lolage.
Anyway, I've experienced the air mattress thing, myself. And I'm not particularly heavy. But, no more camping for me; my back is too fucked now to be sleeping on the ground, air mattress or not.
 

Tad

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The great white north, eh?
Nope, those plastic boards crack and splinter, too, after a while.
Suggest laying a plywood square or something.
These days my computer desk chair at home rips up the carpet under my weight. It seams like floor covering definitely have their weight limits. A number of years ago I knew a guy, who must have been well over 400 lb, and he managed to put a foot through the floorboards several times.
So it seems that office chairs are a running theme hehe.

I've recently bought myself a new BIG chair because the last one I had had a nylon star base and the wheel went on me. I was sitting happily one moment and then I tilted forward suddenly (so lucky it wasn't backwards), crashing into my table which stopped me landing on the ground. The hole bit where the wheel goes had snapped and bang. My new baby has a solid steel base so I won't go falling anywhere.



My floor is doing that! Little cracks and some large splinters right under where I sit.

I also have that air mattress problem too, @DazzlingAnna hehe. The last time I went camping forever ago, I slept on an air mattress and every night it slowly deflated and I ended up on hard lumpy ground. Never going camping again! Glamping maybe. Even if I managed to get myself down on one now, I'd wouldn't be able to get back up again lol.
Well, I've taken my chance with the plastic board thingy for now. Hopefully, given the price, it will last for a while. First I replaced the two damaged tiles, so there is not a hole there.

I'm also looking at new chairs. I alternate between a 'kneeling' chair and a standard one. I've had to dismiss about half the kneeling chairs for having a listed weight limit of 200 pounds, while the remaining ones have a limit of 250 which I'll probably stay under, but is not that far away. I think this is the first time I've run up against weight limits on furniture (or maybe I usually just don't think to check)

(Kneeling chair means something like this, for anyone who has not seen them. Great for the back, but they get rough on the shins after a while. My old one has completely dead padding plus the weld holding one wheel in place is broken so it keeps falling out or just hanging at a drunken angle)
 

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