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Scrumptious_voluptuous

It must be Gin O'clock!
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Probably when people exploit the fact they have been part of an online group for a few years in order to steal £500 from you.

I don't post on here very often, and I'm sure there will be a portion of you who think I just got taken for a mug. But I'm hoping that this will serve as a general warning that even though you may have online friendships from here, or other boards, think long and hard if it means anything in the real world. Cos right now, I don't think it does, and that's a shame. Another crashing defeat for my trust, and faith in humanity.

So..what happened?

I met a guy, who has been on here for years. He's quite a well know Brit on here. A lot of you like him, a lot. I won't mention names, but you're welcome to PM me for it. Ironically, he was telling me about how much he'd like to go to the next Bash in New Jersey. Probably with the £500 he had just stolen from my bank account.

Aaaanyway, knowing that he knew a lot of my good friends here in the UK from dims and various BBW boards and events, and a lot of my friends in the states, I saw no reason to not trust him. Because I'm nice like that. I like to trust people. I like to help people. I like to think we all get along. Obviously, we don't...

To cut a pretty dull story short, he let's me buy him drinks, get a hotel, and we sleep together. All with that cash just burning a hole in his pocket. Lucky boy!

He even texts for a few days afterwards. No mention of the money.

Not until I check my statement and see my rent has been bounced. See, my rent is about £565 a month. Those keeping track will have noticed that £500 was not there. Now I owe my landlord arrears, my bank will charge me for the cash trying to come out when none was there, and have a big old black mark against my name. I also don't have money for my holiday coming up in June, and just when I thought my trust in men could get no lower I suddenly find a whole new level. My heart was broken from my last relationship, and this brief affair has broken my wallet. I just can't get a break...

So there we go. Something to make me step back from forums, boards, groups and the like. Because no matter how much someone may be a part of a 'community', they can still turn out to be a massive thieving fuckwit.


(BTW, his excuse was that he was just desperate, and needed to pay the banks. Well, now *I'M* desperate and need to pay the banks. He has just passed his problems on to me, when I was doing all I could to help him out.)
 

Mathias

SAMCRO
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Sorry that happened to you. Don't let one person ruin the entire community though. There are some great people here.
 

Dr. Feelgood

intellectual nerd
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I've read your post twice, and I still don't understand how this lowlife was able to get into your bank account without you knowing. Could you please explain? Because if this guy is working some kind of scam, the best way to stop him is to tell others what he's up to.
 

Scrumptious_voluptuous

It must be Gin O'clock!
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No Scam. We were just having drinks and I pay on my card a lot. He remembered my pin when I was paying for things, and took the card. I know some people are going to say I should have been more careful, but when you're with someone who you have mutual friends with, and stands to loose his whole - and fairly widespread- online (and offline) reputation, you kind of assume they're not going to do something quite so stupid.
 

Mathias

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No Scam. We were just having drinks and I pay on my card a lot. He remembered my pin when I was paying for things, and took the card. I know some people are going to say I should have been more careful, but when you're with someone who you have mutual friends with, and stands to loose his whole - and fairly widespread- online (and offline) reputation, you kind of assume they're not going to do something quite so stupid.
It doesn't matter how long I've known someone- best friend, mutual friend, online friend, or not. I NEVER let anyone know my pin number. If I know I'm going to be having drinks somewhere, I use cash every time. I hate to sound harsh but it seems like you actually shouldn't have been so open with your card.
 

Ash

Smash
DimensionsModel
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It doesn't matter how long I've known someone- best friend, mutual friend, online friend, or not. I NEVER let anyone know my pin number. If I know I'm going to be having drinks somewhere, I use cash every time. I hate to sound harsh but it seems like you actually shouldn't have been so open with your card.
She didn't give him her PIN, and I don't think we can place any blame on her just because she used her debit card instead of cash. That's ludicrous. The only mistake she made here was assuming that a friend of a friend wasn't going to fuck her over. The blame lays squarely with the person who stole from her.
 

Isa

In search of....
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It's both.
Agreed. There is a chance that she is not the first nor possibly the last. I say that she should out his name so all of his friends know exactly what they are dealing with.
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
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It is a police matter but in the meantime, it doesn't hurt to go underground and call his sorry ass out through other internet social media *cough facebook cough cough*
 

Lovelyone

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I agree with most of the other postings.
However, I do think that it is also a board matter. There ARE men and women in this community (and other communities) who are predators. They take advantage of people whom they think are gullible, desperate, and lonely. You see this everywhere you go..and to say that it doesn't happen here is doing an injustice to anyone here whom it HAS happened to.
It does bear mentioning that you cannot hold and entire community responsible for the actions of one person. I've had some awful dates with some guys on this forum. They have treated me like a piece of meat. They EXPECTED sex (because a fat woman is always desperate enough to put out, right?). I was dating someone who knew from the start that I wanted a monogamous relationship--only to find out that he was dating several other women from here at the same time he was dating me...but I don't hold the community responsible for those things. As with other communities--there are bound to be some bad apples no matter where you go--and you've got to be cautious in every circumstance.

I think it's horrible that this guy used his familiarity with dimensions to weasel his way into someone's life only to steal from them, but again, the community isn't at fault--he is. The saddest thing is that there are people in this world, community, friends, family who will take advantage when they can. I've seen it happen time and time again. I've witnessed it in this community...but you cannot allow the bad deeds of an underhanded person take away from all the good that we have here.

My heart goes out to you that this happened and if I were you I would certainly make out a police report and press charges.
 

Ample Pie

Fattitude Problem
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For reelz. The op didn't make this a board matter, The Fellow who did this stuff made it a board matter by using the board to 1: meet people to screw over and 2: use the board to add to his cred.
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
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I wouldn't let anyone know my card number unless it was family for an emergency.

I'm mind-boggled how trusting people are with their money.

:eek:
 

Scrumptious_voluptuous

It must be Gin O'clock!
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* It is a police matter. They have been contacted. They needed to be because the banks wont repay if it's a 'domestic' matter, and I'd rather give him a juicy criminal record than lie to the banks and say I didnt know him, and possibly have my own fraud case against me.

*It is a board matter. He has been 'borrowing' money from several girls on here for months now. It was only because I posted about having money stolen that it all came to light.

*I am trusting, in that I don't hold a pin & chip machine right to my face, all hunched over. I just pop in my pin like normal people, and then kind of assume that whomever I'm with wont take the card and £500 from it. At least, as a card fraud, I have more of a case against him which I wouldn't have done with cash. The police can see the CCTV etc.

The thing about this is he's not denying it. He knows he's done wrong, and yet I seem to be getting hassle just for trying to warn other girls about this. It isn't a name and shame excersise. I haven't named him anywhere outside of facebook. It's just a warning. So, if we could lay off me - who, let's just remind you - is £500 down, having to start a criminal prosecution, lost what she thought was a friend, and also happily had this sleezebag in my bed whilst he was filching cash from me (which is a whole new level of why he needs professional help) - then that would be really nice.

Don't get me wrong, this has all been incredibly humiliating, but I need to keep posting about it, and need people to talk about it and keep it going so that he doesn't think he can get away with it. The police can deal with getting the money back, but you guys need to help me deal with making sure he is a persona non-grata.
 

Yakatori

Hard to say, really...
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"...Dims isn't a place where fat women should feel safe and, you know, just like people. It's a place where they can feel slobbered over or like shit because they are the wrong kind of fat...Sorry, but them's the breaks here in DimVille."
And what of us Ass-hats? Are we not people too?

"It is a police matter. They have been contacted.
Good for you, then, regardless of what your motivations may be. Because there are a lot of people who, in these types of situations, would find it easier not to completely follow-through. And, to a certain extent, you have to see how the person who did this is ultimately, sort of, dependent on that dynamic.

"...He has been 'borrowing' money from several girls on here for months now. It was only because I posted about having money stolen that it all came to light...The thing about this is he's not denying it. He knows he's done wrong, and yet I seem to be getting hassle just for trying to warn other girls about this. It isn't a name and shame excersise. I haven't named him anywhere outside of facebook. It's just a warning. So, if we could lay off me...but I need to keep posting about it, and need people to talk about it and keep it going so that he doesn't think he can get away with it. The police can deal with getting the money back, but you guys need to help me deal with making sure he is a persona non-grata."
Well, hopefully, we now all see why you were, quite properly, a bit oblique as to some of the exact details. So, suffice it to say that, absent of explicitly naming an actual suspect by name, the relevant detail is that a person known both to you and many others on this board, originally known to many of us only through introduction through this board, a person that you ultimately came to trust-somewhat, is now at least partly the subject of a police-investigation as it relates to a suspected crime against you. And now, it seems, others on this board.

And that, for that, this person should now be removed from the board.

"If I know I'm going to be having drinks somewhere, I use cash every time."
"..At least, as a card fraud, I have more of a case against him which I wouldn't have done with cash. The police can see the CCTV etc.
Eh, I think it's six of one, half dozen the other: I mean, if you're known to carry cash, you make a better target for being mugged or robbed. This is partly why, I think, some folks would prefer to rely on their cards. But I, personally, would willingly assume that risk in lieu of having all of my billing info made-available at some of the watering-holes I used to frequent. As for the pin #; if someone's determined-enough to get at it (and use it as soon as they get a hold of it); especially if they're in an intimate & ongoing, close relationship with you; it's just a matter of time. There are just so many ways it can be "surfed." Of course, if you monitor your balances closely, it's also just as easy to catch someone. And I think the most careful and skilled thieves tend to sniff-out this quality in people, so as to avoid them.
 

vardon_grip

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Can I just remind everybody that Goddess Patty has done the same thing? She has taken money from individuals without providing the dvds that were paid for.
There was a short discussion a while back about Patty. It was shut down fairly fast and handled in the same "not a board issue/matter" manner.

I don't understand why we can't discuss these issues here. It seems actual crimes are being committed BY BOARD MEMBERS against BOARD MEMBERS and yet, these things aren't board matters? We can discuss Trayvon, Sandusky and Romney for days, but not crimes that happen to people we know? That's very disappointing.
 

missy_blue_eyez

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As a female whom actively uses these communities and interacts with people from them on an online level and an in real life level I think it is extremely important that these things are made known through the communities in which they exist.

By making them known to all means that this could stop it happening to somebody else......

And I'm sure if it had happened to someone you loved you would want to make others aware of the dangers that these situations can bring. This isn't just a 'lets witch-hunt' somebody discussion, this is a stark reminder that it doesn't matter how well you think you know somebody you can never be too careful.

An I am so angry at those of you who have pretty much intimated that the OP deserved this! How dare you!

I don't drive, I use public transport all the time, and because of this I NEVER carry more than about £10 worth of cash on me because I don't want to make myself a 'target'. I regularly use my cards to make transactions. You don't assume that somebody you are out having a drink with is going to be looking over your shoulder, memorising your details ready to do a runner with your card and clear your account as soon as they get the opportunity! So I think the 'serves you right' attitude needs to go! Not cool!

Think about it.....
 
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