"All the nice girls love a bastard!"

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CarlaSixx

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I've never been with an abusive male and I doubt I ever will. I've been around them too often that I know the signs and would kick dude's ass to the curb at the very first sign of trouble. My friends have noted in the past how awesome the guys I went out with were and how they wished they could find a guy like those. Funny thing is... how they were in public was 3 times better in private.

So no... not all the women love abusive men, but a lot do. And it becomes something that you make a pattern out of. So many people around me have the "battered wife syndrome" and it's a damn shame they let themselves fall into that.
 

Delineator

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No, abusive men can also be ugly as fuck.

Yes, they *can* be.

The difference is, that abusive tendencies are adaptive in physically attractive males, so evolution will tend to increase their relative frequency.

So, yeah, physically attractive males will tend overwhelmingly to the whole male 'abuser' archetype.

Anecdotal evidence can't dispute this.

You don't have to like it, but that's the way evolution works.
 
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Yes, they *can* be.

The difference is, that abusive tendencies are adaptive in physically attractive males, so evolution will tend to increase their relative frequency.

So, yeah, physically attractive males will tend overwhelmingly to the whole male 'abuser' archetype.

Anecdotal evidence can't dispute this.

You don't have to like it, but that's the way evolution works.
Replace males and add females...because I'm so tired of "nice guys" always talking shit about physically attractive females. ***hides fiery hoops, whip, and tricycle***.
 

Delineator

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I've never been with an abusive male and I doubt I ever will. I've been around them too often that I know the signs and would kick dude's ass to the curb at the very first sign of trouble.
So, you can predict if a guy is going to cheat on you, and you tend to stay away from these guys?

This is interesting, because the only reliable predictor of male infidelity is opportunity(ie. mostly how attractive other women find him to be).

This is why BHMs are such a great opportunity for women who actually want a loyal guy, as their opportunities are limited(ie. women tend not to be physically attracted to them), keeping them 'honest'.

Begs the question as to why there are so many lonely BHMs out there.

Perhaps women don't value fidelity/loyalty, as much as they say they do?
 

CastingPearls

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So, you can predict if a guy is going to cheat on you, and you tend to stay away from these guys?

This is interesting, because the only reliable predictor of male infidelity is opportunity(ie. how attractive other women find him to be).

This is why BHMs are such a great opportunity for women who actually want a loyal guy, as their opportunities are limited(ie. women aren't physically attracted to them), keeping them 'honest'.
Funny, I've always tended to be repulsed by men who are hyped, whether by a crowd of women or reputation alone.
 

Delineator

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Funny, I've always tended to be repulsed by men who are hyped, whether by a crowd of women or reputation alone.
Opportunity tends to be a confounding variable.

I've never noticed a conventionally attractive woman who can resist these guys.
 

escapist

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This is all about physical attractiveness.

Like my post speaks to, there are evolutionary reasons why physically attractive males will tend towards what you would characterize as 'abuse'.

So, we are not observing a tendency for women to favor abusive men per se, but rather a tendency for women to favor physically attractive males.
Um no this isn't All about physical attractiveness. Your talking about sociological (aka money/social status), natural selection, genetics, and pre-programmed instinctual awareness. Like it or not, somewhere down the line we are all the offspring of rapist and pillagers. I dare you to find someone alive today who doesn't exist because their great-grand-pappy of some 40,000 years go (or much longer) murdered rapped and pillaged.

Many women are not with their "physical ideal" they are far more willing to be with someone they sync with rather than someone they think is "just hot". You can go right now on any popular dating service and find many women searching for a guy who can "make me laugh". If a guy can't connect with women in a way that lets her "feel" him, he's going to be FOREVER-FRIEND-ZONED.

You don't have to be PERFECT, you don't have to be CHISELED, you don't have to be SUPER FUNNY, you don't have to be WORTH A BILLION DOLLARS. You HAVE TO MAKE HER FEEL! I would rather a woman hate me cause she doesn't like who I am; rather than feel indifferent because she couldn't get a clear reading on who I might be and what I might be all about.

So screw all this talk of genetics, natural selection, and whatever else BS people want to trip about. Women feel, and if women don't feel you, (on whatever level, sexual, emotional, etc.) they are Done With You! If they do Feel You, and they think your worth taking a chance on, they're gonna take up up on a date to at least get to know more. I think guys really underestimate how much stress some women can feel about just giving a guy a chance into their heart.

So simple end of story is sometimes "the bastard" has better skills and ability at letting himself and his interest be known to a woman in an attractive evident way. Sometimes, genuinely good guys have an amazing ability to do it too. Usually these are the guys who aren't concerned with needing to be nice. They just hold themselves to values such as being true, just, and perhaps even refreshingly old fashioned.
-----------------
Sorry didn't mean to Rant...I think.
 

CastingPearls

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Opportunity tends to be a confounding variable.

I've never noticed a conventionally attractive woman who can resist these guys.
You've never met every conventionally attractive woman.

And I've never lacked for opportunity.
 

CarlaSixx

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So, you can predict if a guy is going to cheat on you, and you tend to stay away from these guys?

This is interesting, because the only reliable predictor of male infidelity is opportunity(ie. mostly how attractive other women find him to be).

This is why BHMs are such a great opportunity for women who actually want a loyal guy, as their opportunities are limited(ie. women tend not to be physically attracted to them), keeping them 'honest'.

Begs the question as to why there are so many lonely BHMs out there.

Perhaps women don't value fidelity/loyalty, as much as they say they do?
There are hints along the way, and since when is cheating alone the definition of abuse? I sure didn't say that in my post!

And who said BHMs aren't able to do the EXACT SAME DAMN THING to a woman regardless of how he or his partner looks?

My thin and beautiful friend was dating a BHM. The guy was more than just a cheater. He was physically abusive and denied everything. To say it's just about looks is completely wrong in every way.

The guys I've dated, except one, have been slim and were not of the cheating or abusive variety. And to this day aren't, even if not with me.

If you call cheating "abuse" then there's something wrong in that. My post meant the abusive type in verbal, physical AND mental. Not just cheating but so much more. In fact, most of the abusive guys weren't cheaters, just ACTUALLY abusive.
 

escapist

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It sucks when people have control issues and can't break free of it.
 

CarlaSixx

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It sucks when people have control issues and can't break free of it.
Exactly.

But it's "control issues" in both ways.

Those who control, and those who allow themselves to be controlled.

It's a shame these people don't seek help as much as they should. They deserve better than a life powered by such negativity.
 

escapist

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Oh, I'm posting out of experience. Learning about healthy boundaries can be life changing. If the people who were controlling knew they wouldn't need to control to have great relationships they might stop. If the the people being controlled knew they could have great relationships if they didn't allow it they might call for real change not empty promises that only lead to more abuse.
 

KittyKitten

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Opportunity tends to be a confounding variable.

I've never noticed a conventionally attractive woman who can resist these guys.
Sorry, I don't like the hype either and I consider myself a hot piece of caramel ass. I don't deal with assholes yet I do not want a doormat either.

The point is, most women want a man who is sure of himself and knows how to protect his territory when need be. I hate how some self serving guys turn this into "women love assholes who mistreat them'. What the hell, women are not all masochists.
 

curveyme

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I've seen some women get with an abuser, on the "rebound" from a "neglectful" boyfriend/husband. The ironic thing is that, IMHO, neglect is just passive abuse. Sometimes when you're too close to it, it does not appear that way.
 

Hole

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So, you can predict if a guy is going to cheat on you, and you tend to stay away from these guys?

This is interesting, because the only reliable predictor of male infidelity is opportunity(ie. mostly how attractive other women find him to be).

This is why BHMs are such a great opportunity for women who actually want a loyal guy, as their opportunities are limited(ie. women tend not to be physically attracted to them), keeping them 'honest'.

Begs the question as to why there are so many lonely BHMs out there.

Perhaps women don't value fidelity/loyalty, as much as they say they do?
That's sad; that a man's loyalty depends on his opportunities.

"Yeah, better get with those fat guys. They won't cheat on you 'cause everyone finds them ugly except you."

:doh:
 

KittyKitten

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So, you can predict if a guy is going to cheat on you, and you tend to stay away from these guys?

This is interesting, because the only reliable predictor of male infidelity is opportunity(ie. mostly how attractive other women find him to be).

This is why BHMs are such a great opportunity for women who actually want a loyal guy, as their opportunities are limited(ie. women tend not to be physically attracted to them), keeping them 'honest'.

Begs the question as to why there are so many lonely BHMs out there.

Perhaps women don't value fidelity/loyalty, as much as they say they do?
Like I said, women are attracted to confident and loving men who respect themselves and his woman. I am a female, I can tell you that. Perhaps some of these guys don't have a good opinion of themselves and so that turns off many women.

Cheating is all about will, if a man wants to cheat and get some pussy, believe me he will--doesn't matter if he is the CEO of a billion dollar company or the crackhead down 14th street.

If a woman wants an asshole, then she has low self esteem issues.
 

escapist

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This thread seems to primarily be about women finding excuses for poor life decisions and men finding excuses for why they're not getting laid.

:shrug:
ROFL

*Run's and hides from the ensuing fallout! :eek: :happy:
 
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