FAs, how do you feel about fat on a person of the gender you are NOT attracted to?

Discussion in 'BBW/FA Board' started by Cors, Nov 24, 2009.

  1. Nov 24, 2009 #1

    Cors

    Cors

    Cors

    Delurking

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Messages:
    2,759
    Likes Received:
    478
    Location:
    , F
    Many straight male FAs gush about how fat makes a woman more feminine and hence more attractive to them. Do you feel that fat guys are more feminine as well? If you are going to be attracted to men at all, do you think it is more likely to be a fat guy especially if they have a body type that is close to your female ideal? Do you empathise with them better because you understand what your fat girlfriend or wife goes through and know that fat guys are likely to deal with the same problems?

    Or, do you feel that women should be fat but men should be thin/lean/fit/muscular? This is something I have actually seen quite a bit here. I would also like to add that this is not about how you want your own body to look like - it is perfectly reasonable and even common to want to look a certain way but not feel like it is something that is expected, or ideal for your gender.

    Other thoughts?

    I would also like to hear from FFAs and those of you who don't identify as straight or gay, as long as you can relate to the question with a little tweaking.
     
  2. Nov 24, 2009 #2

    Blackjack

    Blackjack

    Blackjack

    Fupa Troopa

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2005
    Messages:
    9,935
    Likes Received:
    1,935
    Location:
    ,
    Fat never struck me as a "feminine" thing, so really, I don't have any problems with fat guys, nor do I feel that they are by nature any more feminine. There really isn't any "should be" on this topic- I don't feel that women "should be" fatter than men (in general), although I don't think that I'd be satisfied if I wasn't the smaller in whatever relationship I end up in.
     
  3. Nov 24, 2009 #3

    Jon Blaze

    Jon Blaze

    Jon Blaze

    Dusk

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    6,755
    Likes Received:
    842
    Location:
    https://www.facebook.com/drunkentempest, M
    It's a neutral thing for me. They're my allies.

    I think the latter at one point might have been a subtle thought in my mind, but right now? Nope.
     
  4. Nov 24, 2009 #4

    Lastminute.Tom

    Lastminute.Tom

    Lastminute.Tom

    Write on!

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    806
    Likes Received:
    126
    Location:
    ,The internet
    I don't think fat makes a guy feminine, maybe chemically hence the bresticles but I guess I've always seen big dudes be it muscley or fat as manly men, blokey blokes grrr guys, and many other alliterative terms.

    I'm a fatty so if I thought fat was sexy on dudes I'd just sit in front of a mirror all day until I needed lenses.
    Anyway, all fat dudes are my brothers, it's always good to see fat guys portrayed in a postive light in the movies because then its like I'm portrayed positively as well.

    I look up to guys like John Belushi, Nick Frost and I believe Philip Seymour Hoffman to be one of the greatest actors of our time, they are definitely my personal heroes, if I could be half of the dude that those guys are I would be one cool cucumber.

    I kinda went off on a tangent there and I'm not sure that last part makes sense but you catch my drift.
     
    mergirl likes this.
  5. Nov 24, 2009 #5

    Durin

    Durin

    Durin

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    466
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    ohio
    I think each gender is enhanced with added poundage.

    I prefer hedonists I guess.
     
    CherryPi and fat hiker like this.
  6. Nov 24, 2009 #6

    exile in thighville

    exile in thighville

    exile in thighville

    groups/347570880589/

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,991
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    ,
    i'm personally more attracted to thinner, angular guys and rounder girls. neither of which is particularly masculine in the trad sense
     
  7. Nov 25, 2009 #7

    The Orange Mage

    The Orange Mage

    The Orange Mage

    ♓ Fishy Pisces! ♓

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2006
    Messages:
    2,282
    Likes Received:
    467
    Location:
    ,
    I don't find men attractive at all (which is why I want to steer my looks over to the androgynous "zone" ideally) but fat dudes are fine with me. They aren't really aesthetically appealing to me due to the average fat dude having all their weight piled in the midsection...I prefer balance, visually.

    However I am somewhat fascinated with pear-shaped dudes, as rare as they are.
     
  8. Nov 25, 2009 #8

    Jay West Coast

    Jay West Coast

    Jay West Coast

    Witness to the Thickness

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    1,687
    Likes Received:
    622
    Location:
    ,
    I feel like male fat is different than female fat. The way a woman carries her weight, the ensuing softness of her skin...the sensory and psychological effect is very different for me than with guy fat. Guy fat is more associated with permanence, an earthy strength, and sometimes power.

    I don't view it at all as sensual on guys, but I think that has much more to do with my heterosexual orientation than whether or not its attractive on men.

    It always made sense to me--in some sort of Freudian way--that guys would be "hard" and women would be "soft." (Not advocating for it, just describing my personal sexual intuition.)
     
  9. Nov 25, 2009 #9

    Weirdo890

    Weirdo890

    Weirdo890

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2007
    Messages:
    4,985
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    ,
    That's the way I feel about it. It's just intuition for me.
     
  10. Nov 26, 2009 #10

    Dusselchen

    Dusselchen

    Dusselchen

    Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2009
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    ,
    As a straight FFA I like fat guys (of course^^).
    I don't care about female body shapes. It just does not interest me because women aren't sexy to me- no matter if fat or slim.
     
  11. Nov 27, 2009 #11

    JMNYC

    JMNYC

    JMNYC

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2005
    Messages:
    641
    Likes Received:
    181
    Location:
    ,
    Hi, Cors---

    I don't experience fat making men appear feminine. I also don't find I interpret "masculine" or "feminine" as meaning "attractive" or "unattractive." I really admire the hardcore barbell boys at my gym, but also feel admiration, although not attraction, for men with f--king enormous bellies. Don't feel a whole lot of empathy, have to say, and don't NOT feel empathy.

    Fat dudes are ok with me. I'm good pals with 3, and am probably going to spar with one next week who outweighs me by 130 pounds. I'm not secretly going to hope our shorts fall off, though. ;)
     
  12. Nov 27, 2009 #12

    joh

    joh

    joh

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2009
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    ,
    Fat men generally hold their weight differently in a way that isn't feminine at all, while women do. I'm straight, so I can't really answer the attraction question accurately as I really have no clue.

    I do have empathy for fat men too, and I don't view them any differently as a person than fat women (or skinny guy, or skinny women, ect..). I don't see how you couldn't though -- isn't that the point of size acceptance?
     
  13. Nov 27, 2009 #13

    Ninja Glutton

    Ninja Glutton

    Ninja Glutton

    Film and Music Geek

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,621
    Likes Received:
    235
    Location:
    ,
    I think I'm the opposite of most people here.

    Not that I sexualize fat men, but I get more of that biker, badass, or buddha feel from large fat men than from skinnier guys.
     
  14. Nov 28, 2009 #14

    Lady Bella UK

    Lady Bella UK

    Lady Bella UK

    Sit on me fat boy

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2007
    Messages:
    384
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    ,
    Cors -

    In answer to your question... I think fat on a female makes them more sexy and feminine, and on a man makes then seem more sexy and masculine (as opposed to feminine) I suppose fat to me emphasises a person's attractiveness to in general! :wubu:

    I've also noticed that some people on here prefer a large woman but would like a more muscular man. Hey, whatever floats you boat...I'm all for acceptance of all body types.

    Lady Bella xXx
     
  15. Nov 28, 2009 #15

    wolfpersona

    wolfpersona

    wolfpersona

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    , none
    I think fat just makes us guys look bulkier and more manly i guess. Most guys gain in their midsection and upper body.
     
  16. Nov 29, 2009 #16

    Teleute

    Teleute

    Teleute

    Heh heh. "Member".

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    941
    Likes Received:
    173
    Location:
    ,
    See, people say stuff like this, but I can assure you that is not the case. I'm a fat bisexual FFA, and although I do think my body is attractive, I don't find it erotic to look at myself. I might catch a glimpse and think, "Damn, I'm looking hot today!", but it's never "Mmmmmm.... currrrrrrvvveeeesssss... drooooool...." :p

    Also, lol @the alliteration... ha!
     
  17. Nov 30, 2009 #17

    GTAFA

    GTAFA

    GTAFA

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    86
    Location:
    ,
    I think this is a fascinating question. I don't know if i am answering, or going off on a bit of a tangent, so forgive me if i simply speak my piece. I identify myself as a straight male who is very gay friendly rather than homophobic. I had a close encounter that had me questioning my sexuality & the whole process whereby we decide someone is attractive or not.

    In the 1980s i saw someone working in a store. This person dwarfed me, and for a couple of seconds i couldn't determine their gender. I had a strong panicky sense of attraction to this person, who was bigger than Raqui (6'6" or more, and very very wide). In the moments AFTER i realized this person was a male, not female (his hips were much much wider than his shoulders, so from behind i saw an outlandish pear shape, over four feet wide across the hips, and the clothing was androgynous) my feelings didn't so much vanish, as were censored by the part of my brain saying OH ITS A GUY. I wasn't afraid of that initial gut attraction, which had formed before i knew the gender of the person. I was disappointed with the discovery (oh my god if only a woman shaped like this existed... lordy!) and very intrigued by my own process. It makes me wonder about the whole construction of gender, the way we take cues and signals to identify a cluster of signals that say "guy" or "gal", and associated with that, say "schwing", "maybe" or "nope...

    So maybe i am not precisely answering the question, so much as suggesting that --TO ME-- fat can be feminine. I am very conscious of the subjectivity of it all: fat admiration, beauty, attraction, you name it. It's all so totally subjective that i am very hesitant to say anything beyond my own personal experience, and even THAT is sometimes as mysterious as a dream.
     
  18. Dec 1, 2009 #18

    LoveBHMS

    LoveBHMS

    LoveBHMS

    default title

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    4,086
    Likes Received:
    672
    Location:
    ,
    I think it's notable how many people equate fat with femininity, and not just FAs. A former coworker of mine once said something along the lines of how he could understand men with fat fetishes towards women because fat women just got more "womanly" as far as having bigger breasts and bigger hips and asses, but that fat men were just "ugly".
     
  19. Dec 7, 2009 #19

    Tad

    Tad

    Tad

    mostly harmless

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    13,084
    Likes Received:
    1,973
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The great white north, eh?
    For me fat is good, on anyone. Obviously not everyone (or even mostlyone) like being fat, or are comfortable being fat, and some people's bodies do really seem awkward when fat....but overall I tend to like fat on anyone. Not that fatter is better as some universal guide or anything, just that all else being equal I'm probably going to have a warmer first impression of someone who is at least somewhat fat than of someone who is not.
     
  20. Dec 11, 2009 #20

    MisterGuy

    MisterGuy

    MisterGuy

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    139
    Location:
    ,
    Being completely honest as a guy who loves fat women and female WG, I find myself looking down on fat guys a little. I think I so strongly associate fat with femininity that fat guys seem weak and unmasculine to me. I realize it's a stupid prejudice, but there it is.
     

Share This Page