For Women Only: What Do You Wish Men Knew?

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kerrypop

Supafly
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The single best and most reliable indicator that you are a complete dickhead is if you sigh and say, "You know, women just don't like nice guys."

You know who never uses that phrase?

Men that are actually nice.

Every man I have ever encountered who has said that was light years away from being nice.
On this one...I'm going to have to disagree. I have been known to be attracted to douchebags, and several girls I know have been in the same boat. Sometimes there is just something about a cocky guy... I dont know!

In addition, I just asked Stan (who, I will vouch for in the face of all womanhood, is one of the nicest guys ever..but I'm biased :p) and he remembers that in college the girls DID go for the jerks.

Girls are weird.
 

BigBeautifulMe

That was a heart.
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Don't tell me to "drop it." If my feelings about something are unresolved, it is not fair of you to insist on the end of the conversation before we've solved whatever issue it is we're having. Just because it's resolved or over for you, doesn't mean it is for me. You telling me to drop it and refusing to speak about it anymore, makes me feel like you are controlling me as a parent would a misbehaving child. That is not something I will tolerate.
 

Tina

Older and wiser now
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I agree, BBM. I wouldn't do that to my guy, and don't expect him to do it to me. If the other person is just getting too upset, I don't mind putting the conversation off for a little while. But to give orders? Nah. That doesn't fly with me. I'm very understanding, but anyone who would be, and is, my mate, understands that we are equal, and that I am not an underling to be ordered around. I hate to fight and am always willing to put it aside until cooler heads prevail; but if it's a real problem (and not just something fleeting), it cannot be put aside forever and must be dealt with or the relationship will suffer.
 

LoveBHMS

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On this one...I'm going to have to disagree. I have been known to be attracted to douchebags, and several girls I know have been in the same boat. Sometimes there is just something about a cocky guy... I dont know!

In addition, I just asked Stan (who, I will vouch for in the face of all womanhood, is one of the nicest guys ever..but I'm biased :p) and he remembers that in college the girls DID go for the jerks.

Girls are weird.
That guys who go out of their way to tell you how nice they are are never the nice ones. It's not at all that that women (and men) don't go for jerks, but that in my experience, men who makes a point of telling you how nice they are, tend to not be nice.
 

SparklingBBW

What's new pussycat?
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You know the age-old dichotomy between women and men with it comes to things like the guy buying a woman flowers for no reason, and the guy being hesitant to do this because he views it as a waste of money cause they're just gonna die in a week? I've had this debate/conversation with several guys (and gals who were trying to get their guys to buy them flowers) who experienced a lightbulb moment when I explained the flower thing to them in this way:

It's pretty much understood these days that people learn in different ways. Some need to read it to learn it, some need to hear it to learn it, and some need to draw it or write it to learn it..etc....but the point is this...this is also how people FEEL LOVE (and other emotions) from their partners.

So the key to a harmoneous relationship is to find out HOW your partner feels your love and then do those things because that is what works for them.

Does she need to hear "I love you."? Then say it and say it often. (Even if you think she should already "know" you love her.)
Does she need to feel your love through actions? Then do those things like kissing her passionately or filling up her gas tank.
Does she need you to write her love notes or send her cards or flowers? Then just do it because believe me, if your gal is feeling your love, she'll also make sure you are feeling hers! <grin>

And ladies, this goes both ways (as I'm sure you are aware but I wanted to be fair to both sides). If your fella feels your love by you leaving him alone to watch football all day Sunday, then give him that once in a while and while he's doing it, treat him to a meat, meat and more meat (with some potatos and beer on the side) dinner while he does it.

If he loves working on cars then he'd love it if you'd say, honey, the lawn will wait, why don't you change the oil on your precious Betsy, and btw, I picked up a case of that heavy-weight oil Brand X you love so much.

And if his idea of love is you wearing that sexy cheerleader outfit you saw on Ebay while you do the wild thing, well then surprise him by greeting him at the door one night with it on...believe me, you both will get the idea that you really do love and respect one another...lol.

And if you're trying to explain this to your guy because he just doesn't get it say this to him:

Honey, Valentine's Day to me is like Blowjob and Steak Day to you. Quid pro quo...and perhaps you'll see the lightbulb going off in his eyes in understanding.

-Hope this wasn't too rambling, and as always, this is just MHO, take it or leave it. lol

Gena
 

SamanthaNY

&#9604;&#9600;&#9604;&#9600;&#9604;&#9600;&#9604;&
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Don't tell me to "drop it." If my feelings about something are unresolved, it is not fair of you to insist on the end of the conversation before we've solved whatever issue it is we're having. Just because it's resolved or over for you, doesn't mean it is for me. You telling me to drop it and refusing to speak about it anymore, makes me feel like you are controlling me as a parent would a misbehaving child. That is not something I will tolerate.
Thank you for saying this.

I wanted to respond with something like this, but you handled it much better than I would have.
 

calauria

La Negra Hermosa
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You know the age-old dichotomy between women and men with it comes to things like the guy buying a woman flowers for no reason, and the guy being hesitant to do this because he views it as a waste of money cause they're just gonna die in a week? I've had this debate/conversation with several guys (and gals who were trying to get their guys to buy them flowers) who experienced a lightbulb moment when I explained the flower thing to them in this way:

It's pretty much understood these days that people learn in different ways. Some need to read it to learn it, some need to hear it to learn it, and some need to draw it or write it to learn it..etc....but the point is this...this is also how people FEEL LOVE (and other emotions) from their partners.

So the key to a harmoneous relationship is to find out HOW your partner feels your love and then do those things because that is what works for them.

Does she need to hear "I love you."? Then say it and say it often. (Even if you think she should already "know" you love her.)
Does she need to feel your love through actions? Then do those things like kissing her passionately or filling up her gas tank.
Does she need you to write her love notes or send her cards or flowers? Then just do it because believe me, if your gal is feeling your love, she'll also make sure you are feeling hers! <grin>

And ladies, this goes both ways (as I'm sure you are aware but I wanted to be fair to both sides). If your fella feels your love by you leaving him alone to watch football all day Sunday, then give him that once in a while and while he's doing it, treat him to a meat, meat and more meat (with some potatos and beer on the side) dinner while he does it.

If he loves working on cars then he'd love it if you'd say, honey, the lawn will wait, why don't you change the oil on your precious Betsy, and btw, I picked up a case of that heavy-weight oil Brand X you love so much.

And if his idea of love is you wearing that sexy cheerleader outfit you saw on Ebay while you do the wild thing, well then surprise him by greeting him at the door one night with it on...believe me, you both will get the idea that you really do love and respect one another...lol.

And if you're trying to explain this to your guy because he just doesn't get it say this to him:

Honey, Valentine's Day to me is like Blowjob and Steak Day to you. Quid pro quo...and perhaps you'll see the lightbulb going off in his eyes in understanding.

-Hope this wasn't too rambling, and as always, this is just MHO, take it or leave it. lol

Gena

I absolutely concur!!!
 

RedVelvet

Airship Pirate
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You know the age-old dichotomy between women and men with it comes to things like the guy buying a woman flowers for no reason, and the guy being hesitant to do this because he views it as a waste of money cause they're just gonna die in a week? I've had this debate/conversation with several guys (and gals who were trying to get their guys to buy them flowers) who experienced a lightbulb moment when I explained the flower thing to them in this way:

It's pretty much understood these days that people learn in different ways. Some need to read it to learn it, some need to hear it to learn it, and some need to draw it or write it to learn it..etc....but the point is this...this is also how people FEEL LOVE (and other emotions) from their partners.

So the key to a harmoneous relationship is to find out HOW your partner feels your love and then do those things because that is what works for them.

Does she need to hear "I love you."? Then say it and say it often. (Even if you think she should already "know" you love her.)
Does she need to feel your love through actions? Then do those things like kissing her passionately or filling up her gas tank.
Does she need you to write her love notes or send her cards or flowers? Then just do it because believe me, if your gal is feeling your love, she'll also make sure you are feeling hers! <grin>

And ladies, this goes both ways (as I'm sure you are aware but I wanted to be fair to both sides). If your fella feels your love by you leaving him alone to watch football all day Sunday, then give him that once in a while and while he's doing it, treat him to a meat, meat and more meat (with some potatos and beer on the side) dinner while he does it.

If he loves working on cars then he'd love it if you'd say, honey, the lawn will wait, why don't you change the oil on your precious Betsy, and btw, I picked up a case of that heavy-weight oil Brand X you love so much.

And if his idea of love is you wearing that sexy cheerleader outfit you saw on Ebay while you do the wild thing, well then surprise him by greeting him at the door one night with it on...believe me, you both will get the idea that you really do love and respect one another...lol.

And if you're trying to explain this to your guy because he just doesn't get it say this to him:

Honey, Valentine's Day to me is like Blowjob and Steak Day to you. Quid pro quo...and perhaps you'll see the lightbulb going off in his eyes in understanding.

-Hope this wasn't too rambling, and as always, this is just MHO, take it or leave it. lol

Gena

There is a brilliant book that expands on just this idea called "The Five Love Languages"...(or is it four?)

Words, Acts of Service, Gifts, etc...almost exactly like you expressed it..

Arent you the clever one?
 

Jane

Photo (c) Fatlane
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It's kinda like going all out cooking a meal for a guy...good wine, good food, proper ambiance...hours spent cooking.

It won't take a week for it to "be gone" but it's the experience that's the key.

Oh, and the "Type of Love" thing? I need all three, four, five whatever the hell it is, and yes, I will still ask you!!!!!

However, one of the most romantic things I ever heard was this story:

A young woman had grown up in a very loving, giving family. She knew how much her parents loved each other, but she had never heard her father tell her mother. Of course, Dad was a quiet guy (farmer), but STILL.

She asked her mother one day why Dad never said, "I love you" to her.

Mom said, "The day we got married, your father said to me, 'I love you. If that ever changes, I'll let you know.' After that, he's just shown it every day."
 

Allie Cat

Well-Known Member
Joined
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Messages
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That guys who go out of their way to tell you how nice they are are never the nice ones. It's not at all that that women (and men) don't go for jerks, but that in my experience, men who makes a point of telling you how nice they are, tend to not be nice.
What if you're talking to someone and they say that you're nice, and then you say 'but girls don't like nice guys'?

Does that count?

Though it's generally the immature, annoying girls who don't like nice guys. As you get older those girls tend to either drop out of society/school/life or become mature and nice... or at least mature.

=Divals
 

fatgirlflyin

needs a vacation
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Mom said, "The day we got married, your father said to me, 'I love you. If that ever changes, I'll let you know.' After that, he's just shown it every day."
You know, I'm 32 years old and I don't think I've ever heard my father say to my mother I love you. I dont think I've heard it the other way around either. I know that they love each other though. They've been married 32 years (yes I was born in sin LOL) and the little things they do for each other just scream love. My mom always has a meal waiting for my dad when he gets home, and growing up if my dad had to work late my mom would feed us and then wait to eat herself until my dad got home. My dad doesn't let my mom do any kind of manual labor, if there's something around that house that needs to be fixed he does it. Mom doesn't even usually have to ask, just mention that something's broken.

I say I love you all the time, wont leave the house without saying I love you cuz you just never know when it will be the last time. I agree with Gena though, you should just find what works for you, there is no universal way to show your love for someone else. As long as they "get" that you love them that's all that matters, no one else needs to "get" it too.
 

GWARrior

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This has been said, more than once:

GET OVER YOURSELVES.

If i beat you at a video game, dont pretend your controller was acting up.

Dont pretend to know everything. It gets annoying really quick.

ugh. boyfriends :doh:
 

kerrypop

Supafly
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I guess this is for boys, but girls too...

Don't go to bed mad at me! Never! Resolve it before you sleep on it. It'll make waking up easier in the morning.
 

Renaissance Woman

Please do.
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Do not think that we do not like the appearance of your genitalia. You may find the whole setup awkward, weird-looking, or unattractive, but there are a whole bunch of us who feel the opposite. Fear not.
 

kerrypop

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Do not think that we do not like the appearance of your genitalia. You may find the whole setup awkward, weird-looking, or unattractive, but there are a whole bunch of us who feel the opposite. Fear not.
Hooray!!! This one is the best one yet! :D
 

BitsyAintMyName

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Do not think that we do not like the appearance of your genitalia. You may find the whole setup awkward, weird-looking, or unattractive, but there are a whole bunch of us who feel the opposite. Fear not.
Damn right! Imagine having to deal with a square penis. *lol* Sometimes I feel sorry for men. They don't have boobs and their genitalia is often in a vulnerable position. Dirty pillows and indoor plumbing are such luxuries...*sigh*
 
S

saucywench

As I've watched this thread develop and unfold, I've tried to think of what I could add. I never read that book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. If I ever read any "self-help" books along those lines at all, I have long since forgotten the message. But I awoke this morning and was struck by the following thoughts:

When a man and a woman enter into a conversation that centers on feeling, and emotion, such conversation represents an opportunity for (mutual) understanding of a much deeper and more fundamental level. For me, and I feel secure in speaking for most women, this is why feelings are important. This is why we feel the need to talk about things. This is how we make sense of life. This is how we are wired. Our feelings are fundamental elements of what make us women, and your counterparts in the human species--and they should be respected and given their due. Because, after all, that ability is a critical component in what draws men to women--it helps men to understand themselves as much as it helps us women to understand men. While often it is a typical male response to dismiss or discount those feelings or desires to talk things out, this need should never be considered as trivial or insignificant in comparison to men's innate sense for logic and order and rationalization. There is an organic reason for those differences, and valuing those differences can only aid in understanding ourselves, the opposite sex, and our place in this world.
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Keeps on dancing
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^^I'm listing that as one of the best posts I have ever read on the forum- Thanks Saucy


and I tried to read that Men are from Mars - didn't finish because I decided the author was a pompous asshole that doesn't know Jack :p
 

scarcity

Booboo! - and meow.
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I want my dad and boyfriend to know that they can't buy my love

I want my bf to know that I can't control my mood

I want my bf to know that he can't get me out of a bad mood, he'll just make it worse.
 
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