Little piece of advice

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molligmag

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ooh. 'pretty sure' doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement to me. Good luck with that!
I meant it cynically. But you can write down that I am 100% sure.
Sorry but English is not my mother tongue....
 

mrman1980uk

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This really is terribly, terribly sad. Have you ever seen "Brief Encounter"?
 

DoctorBreen

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Be honest with her. Either break up and find a girl you're actually physically attracted to, or subtley fatten her up a little?(just kidding) ;)

Seriously, if it deadens the relationship and you're not happy, do something.
 

pinuplola

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you cannot have a full, healthy relationship with someone that you are not physically attracted to. period. by staying in this relationship you are cheating yourself and your girlfriend out of something that you both deserve, true love.

you could remain friends with her, you obviously care for her. but do yourself and her a favor and tell her the truth. if you really cared about her as much as you say you do you would want for her to have a man to love her outside as much as her inside.

good luck with everything, changing your life can be hard but so worth it in the long run ;)
 

molligmag

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good luck with everything, changing your life can be hard but so worth it in the long run ;)
thank you for your advice!
Exactly that is really the hard part.
Telling you parents, her parents and friends, everybody loves her, so no one will understand..

But on the other hand, every day I dream about how life would be with a beautiful fat girl. And I know this is what I truly want. I will never be happy if I can't realize that. Otherwise I will turn into a grumpy old man, nagging about the things I didn't realize in life.
 

LisaInNC

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Ok I have to say this. Why do people act like telling your family and friends you like a fat person is the same as telling them you are gay. I mean do guys go home and say, "Mom, Dad....I am dating a thin chick." No of course they dont. I think people make it more of an issue than it really is. Just fecking do it and stop waiting on people to tell you why you shouldnt.
Also, I cant stand it when a guy comes up to me and says " I like bigger women". Drives me apeshit. Id rather them approach me in the same manner as they would any other woman. "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!"
Sorry, early morning rant.
 

molligmag

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Ok I have to say this. Why do people act like telling your family and friends you like a fat person is the same as telling them you are gay. I mean do guys go home and say, "Mom, Dad....I am dating a thin chick." No of course they dont. I think people make it more of an issue than it really is. Just fecking do it and stop waiting on people to tell you why you shouldnt.
Also, I cant stand it when a guy comes up to me and says " I like bigger women". Drives me apeshit. Id rather them approach me in the same manner as they would any other woman. "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!"
Sorry, early morning rant.
Hi, appearantly you misunderstood me.
I want to end my relationship with my current girlfriend.
That fact alone is difficult for me.
I don't have to come out of the closet, they already know I have a preference for +size women.
 

LisaInNC

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Hi, appearantly you misunderstood me.
I want to end my relationship with my current girlfriend.
That fact alone is difficult for me.
I don't have to come out of the closet, they already know I have a preference for +size women.
lol sorry!! That wasnt really for you. Someone had mentioned "coming out" to their family.
As for you, you are not alone in this. I cant tell you how often I see men marry thin women because thats what their families and friends expect them to do and they lead miserable lives. I hope you have the balls to do the right thing by your current girlfriend. She definitely deserves someone who loves every aspect of her. So how about we turn this into what SHE deserves and it will make things a lot easier for you. I personally would not want a guy who did not find me smoking hot. It sucks to be settled on.
 

Jes

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thank you for your advice!
Exactly that is really the hard part.
Telling you parents, her parents and friends, everybody loves her, so no one will understand..

But on the other hand, every day I dream about how life would be with a beautiful fat girl. And I know this is what I truly want. I will never be happy if I can't realize that. Otherwise I will turn into a grumpy old man, nagging about the things I didn't realize in life.
then you're still picking what YOU are comfortable with over what's fair to her. How is that a kind thing? How is that mature? You're still letting what you think other people will say or do to you decide your curent/future behavior. How old are you going to have to be before you stop doing that? Will you ever stop doing that? If not, then don't use up our time in asking advice you'll never put into practice. It gets old.

ps: let me add this. You just said you want to end the relationship with your GF. What do you want us to do about it? Do you want me to call her? Fine, I'll call her. I'll tell her you don't have the hots for her, and want to find someone else that you do have the hots for. What's the phone number? Email it to me. C'mon, let's go.
 

LillyBBBW

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then you're still picking what YOU are comfortable with over what's fair to her. How is that a kind thing? How is that mature? You're still letting what you think other people will say or do to you decide your curent/future behavior. How old are you going to have to be before you stop doing that? Will you ever stop doing that? If not, then don't use up our time in asking advice you'll never put into practice. It gets old.

ps: let me add this. You just said you want to end the relationship with your GF. What do you want us to do about it? Do you want me to call her? Fine, I'll call her. I'll tell her you don't have the hots for her, and want to find someone else that you do have the hots for. What's the phone number? Email it to me. C'mon, let's go.
The man is respectfully responding to the people who have taken an interest and posted here.
 

TraciJo67

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The man is respectfully responding to the people who have taken an interest and posted here.
The man in question is 32 years old, and admits to being with someone that he isn't physically attracted to because he lacks the courage to end it and move on. He's not only denying himself ... he's holding onto someone that he doesn't love (at least, not in a way that she wants to be loved). He's looking for advise on an internet message board. Perhaps he's too busy composing coy, flirty lines to other women to make any life changes. Who knows? The bottom line, though, is that his actions are quite transparently self-serving. Personally, I think he needs the kind of honesty that Jes shared with him.
 

molligmag

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then you're still picking what YOU are comfortable with over what's fair to her. How is that a kind thing? How is that mature? You're still letting what you think other people will say or do to you decide your curent/future behavior. How old are you going to have to be before you stop doing that? Will you ever stop doing that? If not, then don't use up our time in asking advice you'll never put into practice. It gets old.

ps: let me add this. You just said you want to end the relationship with your GF. What do you want us to do about it? Do you want me to call her? Fine, I'll call her. I'll tell her you don't have the hots for her, and want to find someone else that you do have the hots for. What's the phone number? Email it to me. C'mon, let's go.
It seems that somebody has too much time off here....
 

MissStacie

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Hi there..

What I can tell you is that when/if you do tell your current GF that you need to end the relationship, its gonna hurt like hell. BUT, I can see you waffling on it long enough where you'll get married, probably have a child or two and have it hit you one day in 10 years that you've finally had enough.

Jes is right...you need to tell her NOW while you both can still get out and move on and find the love that you BOTH deserve. It sucks out loud to be in a relationship and not WANT the person you're with. I've been there, done that. I've been the wanter, and I've likely been the wanted, and I'm sure it sucks on either side. Don't drag this out until you're backed into a corner and you become a more permanent and LEGAL partner with her.

You deserve better, and she does more than you. After all, she's been with you for 8 years and you've not wanted her. How sucky is that??? If she doesn't have an esteem issue before now, she will when she finds out that she's not aroused you in years.

Good luck to you...

Stacie
 

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