Schadenfreude When Fat Haters Get Fat

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superodalisque

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there are actually some fun things about getting older. one of them i guiltily enjoy is when fat haters get fat. i try not to because i think i'm so god awful enlightened. but there it is and no matter how much i try i can't help myself. when someone you know who used to be a constant and arrogant size two through most of their life suddenly balloons up to say a 18, huge for them, and begins to see that it's not a character flaw but your metabolism and appetites what your body decides to do it can be very self validating. who else has had that experience? what did it teach the other person? what did it teach you? it definitely taught me that no matter how much i want to be i a definitely not above it all.
 

tankyguy

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Taking pleasure in others' misfortune? I can't get behind that.
Hating the haters would just make me a hater, and I'm a bigger person than them (literally).

It's not a case of them having to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Most people don't gain weight, have a sudden epiphany and become better people; they don't stop hating fat, they just then start hating themselves also. So who is better for it?
 

daddyoh70

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Totally guilty of this. When I was a cop, I was good friends with a guy whose weight was "higher than the recommended fitness standard." The ridicule and lame donut jokes he endured was reminiscent of being in the 8th grade again. And God forbid a female cop put on a few pounds. I must admit that I took great pleasure in chuckling when one of them suffered the same, or similar fate. I am, by no stretch of the imagination above laughing at someone, who's an asshole, that ends up getting back what they've dished out.
 

LifeTraveller

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there are actually some fun things about getting older. one of them i guiltily enjoy is when fat haters get fat. i try not to because i think i'm so god awful enlightened. but there it is and no matter how much i try i can't help myself. when someone you know who used to be a constant and arrogant size two through most of their life suddenly balloons up to say a 18, huge for them, and begins to see that it's not a character flaw but your metabolism and appetites what your body decides to do it can be very self validating. who else has had that experience? what did it teach the other person? what did it teach you? it definitely taught me that no matter how much i want to be i a definitely not above it all.
First, I can't imagine you as "getting old"! You are always lovely, if not more so with the passage of time. .

Second, It's the irony of it all, or the Karma if you will, what goes around comes around. . Perhaps in some cases the universe giving someone an "adjustment". I really don't know, except I have seen it happen more than once.

So many of us see the ugliness of "fat hate" on a regular basis. I saw how it affected my late wife. . She tried to pretend it didn't hurt, but when it comes from your own daughter. .It's reprehensible!

Most haters are "venom-spitters" and realize what they're saying, but don't care. . I try not to wish anything bad on them, lest it stain my own soul. . but in the case of my stepdaughter. . Genetics isn't on her side, so she may be in for a rude awakening. .
 

Dr. Feelgood

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Taking pleasure in others' misfortune? I can't get behind that.
Hating the haters would just make me a hater, and I'm a bigger person than them (literally).
I don't think we're really talking about hatred here; I agree with LifeTraveller that schadenfreude springs more from an appreciation of karma -- and irony. Piet Hein probably said it best:

"I see, and I hear, and I speak no evil;
I carry no malice within my breast;
Yet, without quite wishing a man to the devil,
One may still be permitted to hope for the best."
 

SSBBW Katerina

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Those mean spirited, insensitive fuckers put me through hell throughout Grammar school to high school; incl. a few in the present day. So when one or more of those douchebags gets smited by karma and gains, in their opinion, a tremendous amount of weight, I dance the humpty-hump!

LmAo! It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, like a hug from the baby jesus. LOL!:D

Fuckers had it coming to them. "Nice seeing your before and after on the social networks, dick!! Welcome to my world. Oh happy day.:bow: They get no sympathy/ empathy from me.

Haterade!!
 

f0nzw0rth

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scraping the bottom of the barrel for topics round here these days huh
 

firefly

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The idea of payback definitely works for me... I don't care whether they have gotten fat or not, but being no longer in the position of the one who bullies instead of getting an idea of how it feels to be bullied... yes this could be a real eye-opener for some persons...

Thoughts of a former fat kid, now a fat adult, living a country without any tendency of fat acceptance!
 

moore2me

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This thread started about what happens when the people that used to torment us because we were fat ended up becoming fat themselves. I too was tormented greatly but only in junion high and high school. I was fat (or chubby as it was called in those days) in grade school, but I was part of the group and well liked. Had a BF and was elected as queen of my 3rd grade class. Everything was the same except the gradeschool crowd liked me.

We moved when I started the 7th grade and that's when the fat hating, teasing, and baiting started. Junior high was indeed pure hell. I would not wish these mean boys and girls suffer in any way except maybe that they have to repeat junior high school. In fact, now that I think more on it, it may be even better if they do it like Hercules had to clean out the Augean stables, again and again and again.

I am not naive enough to believe that every wrong in the world will be righted. However, I do like to amuse myself by making stories or movies in my head that make me feel better when bad things or wrong stuff bothers me. Sometimes Dimmers or other audiences are lucky enough to hear these stories or movies - but I have to use discretion in doing this. Most of my family already thinks I am excessively weird, some think I need extra medication, and some even think as Flip Wilson used to say "the Devil makes me do these things". Thankfully, the Inquisition was several hundred years ago.


I also know that internalizing bad things is dangerous to our health (both mental and physical). When I deal with bad things, I try to laugh at them and make them into comedy if possible. Not all bad things in life (the death of loved ones for example) can be flipped in to humour or sarcasm, but many other minor slings and arrows can. Someone tells me about WLS, I might start snarling, then a low growl, then barking - not loud - just low enough so that the two of us can hear. If I see a group of teenage boys laughing at me, I might improvise a strange act using whatever is at hand. Or I may even go over and sit really close to them (like I am attracted).

However, I do not mess with little children. With kids, I be very sweet, wave at them and find a way to compliment them or something they have. I am their friend and the friend of their mom and dad. Kids are off limits and should be educated sweetly and nicely - no exceptions. These little kids will probably be our nurses, surgeons, welfare case workers, and caretakers when we are too old to take care of ourselves. Must make friends and train them properly unless we want to become Soylent Green.
 

FatAndProud

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I don't think I could take pleasure in watching someone self-loathe, but I do like the inevitable epiphany that is soon to follow after the fat hater becomes fat: "Even I can get fat???? Maybe weight isn't attributed to only diet/lifestyle if *I* can get fat!" :)

I've always been chunky and I couldn't imagine it another way. To be skinny all your life and then gain large amounts of weight? Traumatizing, obviously. The human condition is fragile :)
 

Donna

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I'm no Buddhist and I definitely don't consider myself enlightened, however I cannot take joy or amusement in another's suffering. Whether the suffering is real or perceived. It actually makes me sad because I don't like to see another human being suffer with the self doubt and loathing I dealt with for the first half of my life. Perhaps part of it also has to do with my lingering belief in Karma and the Law of Three. Taking joy or satisfaction in another person's suffering can only come back to hurt me.

In the early days of Facebook, I was contacted by an elementary school "friend" who used to tease me mercilessly. She was lamenting the fact that she had gotten a little fat, but she was more upset that her daughter was growing up fat and being treated the way she had treated me. She thought I would take pleasure in it and I think I surprised her when I did not respond jovially. I told her honestly just how sad I was and gave her all the resources I had at my fingertips (links to NAAFA and other size acceptance organizations as well as the titles of several books that I have found helpful in my journey.) If I am being completely candid, I was dubious of her intentions in contacting me. But as we chatted further and allowed ourselves to open up, I think we both found it healing and helpful.

I certainly understand the inclination toward Schadenfreude and I am sure I have had brief moments in my life where I felt satisfied when someone got what I thought they had coming to them. I'm human. I just can't feel that way about weight related issues, though. Maybe because it's too close to my heart. :confused:
 

f0nzw0rth

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Wow great comeback fella... :doh: and yes, it was still a worthless comment.
It wasn't a comeback...I would of had to have been insulted by it for me to want to come back at you

oh and btw....I saw your edit and I beg you....Dont play nice
 

bigmac

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... I am, by no stretch of the imagination above laughing at someone, who's an asshole, that ends up getting back what they've dished out.
Yes! This is exactly how I feel. I've chuckled to myself with regard to what's happened to a couple of people who were real asses in high school.
 

CastingPearls

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I don't take pleasure in anyone else's misfortunes, usually. By usually, there might be a brief moment of, how's it feel, huh, but otherwise, meh, not much.

The thing that irritated me was similar, though. A lot of guys I went to school with wouldn't give me the time of day or would pretend to show interest as part of a prank to impress their buddies. I made do by boinking my history teacher, but that's really not germane to this and yes, now I'm aware it's also illegal.

Since the advent of Facebook, now these guys are showing up, friend requesting me, and confessing that they were attracted to me, did want to date me, were totally into me, etc. etc. ad nauseum. Oh and by the way, they married a thin woman (often also a schoolmate) and she got fat. And now those same men love fat women. They're either all out and proud or closeted and want to 'reconnect' with me and I have nothing to say to them but, who are you again? I don't remember you. Nope. No, not even that. Sorry.
 
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