What attracts you to a larger man?

Discussion in 'BHM/FFA' started by RJI, Dec 19, 2014.

  1. Dec 19, 2014 #1

    RJI

    RJI

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    Ladies what is it that attracts you to those of us that are larger?

    I have dated several woman that say it is the secure feeling they get and as a bonus we are cuddly.

    I have also been with a few that just have a fetish.

    Those that were about the fetish were never considered for anything long term but just fun while it lasts :)

    So what is it that gravitates you our way?
     
  2. Dec 19, 2014 #2

    Anjula

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    I feed on your humiliation and insecurities. i love watching it melt underneath my hands and/or lips.
     
  3. Dec 19, 2014 #3

    tankyguy

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    I attract women with my increased gravitational pull that's a result of my greater mass.
    :)
     
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  4. Dec 19, 2014 #4

    Melian

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    I like big butts and I cannot lie.

    (just a fetish, I guess.....)
     
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  5. Dec 19, 2014 #5

    loopytheone

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    Kinda mean to say that you only considered people with fat fetishes for short term flings...

    But for me personally, I just like bigger guys. I always have like chubby things, ever since I was a kid. I guess I don't really know how to answer this question because attraction isn't always something you can rationalise. But big guys make me take notice and feel pleasant in a way that thinner guys don't tend to.
     
  6. Dec 20, 2014 #6

    forp1940

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    I have dated a really skinny guy right after a bigger guy. the bigger guy was 5 foot 10 and 270lbs and the skinny guy was 5 foot 6 and like 130lbs. I am a big girl and I always felt like I was gonna break the skinny guy. I put my head on his chest and felt collar bones. I do not like that at all. With the bigger guy I fell asleep on his chest and felt nothing but a squishy piece of heaven. That and I loved using his belly as a pillow while watching movies.I felt warm and safe with him and he could overpower me which was refreshing. Plus bigger guys like to eat food and don't judge me. I like bigger men because they feel more equal at my size.
     
  7. Dec 20, 2014 #7

    ODFFA

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    So, for me, there's a bit of symbolism to the attraction. Definitely in terms of the protection element, as RJI suggested. I love the idea that a man can carry so much softness. I think I'm fascinated with the idea of balance, especially when it comes to gender. And with a larger guy, at least physically, it's a gorgeous balance between strength and softness, cute and sexy, substantial and malleable. That kind of thing.

    In terms of the sexual aspect, as Loopy said, it's hard to pinpoint the reasons for your own attraction. I suppose FAs are typically very much into cuddles and adore the feeling of being enveloped by / playing with the softness. Most of us also probably think about bellies in very sexual terms. Not constantly, but I'd imagine more than most people think about them. The stomach is a gorgeously intimate and sexy part of the body to me. Anyone's body, even if I'm not attracted to them. Tummies are awesome things, and I have a definite fascination with them.

    And, just as a nice little bonus, it's fun to fly in the face of what society expects you to be into. It's a glorious feeling to walk beside someone way larger than you with a satisfied smile on your face and no fucks given.
     
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  8. Dec 20, 2014 #8

    Anjula

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    Amen! :bounce:
     
  9. Dec 20, 2014 #9

    Bigsweetguy619

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    I've never had the confidence to really flirt or pursue a girl without a few drinks in me. In all honesty I am 32 and have never had a girlfriend, think it would have been different had I ever been of average size but have never been small, 300+ in high school and over 400 now. Any tips on knowing when a girl is interested in being more than just friends would be awesome to know. I went out on what I thought was a date recently but I got friend zoned, such is life. m
     
  10. Dec 20, 2014 #10

    agouderia

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    Definitely this.

    Also - even though I'm probably not big enough (size US 14 at 5'7") to qualify as a BBW according to Dims standards, I'm on the strong side for a woman and have trouble taking any man seriously whose shoulders are narrower than mine.

    As far as the haptics go - what am I supposed to do with my hands, fingers, also lips with a skinny guy? Skin, bones, sinew .... neither tactile pleasure nor actually much material to work with in the first place.

    With a big guy, feeling the texture of fat on the different body parts, where it's denser of flabbier, the transition from muscle flesh to fat, the options of feeling out a full stomach - delightful.

    On the more mental and psychological side, I'm noticed that most big guys are less self-obsessed and thus better to talk to, as they are more likely to engage in an actual discussion and not only drone on about 'me, me, me'. Maybe this is the result from being conditioned to cultivate other talents as being fat is considered unattractive and something you need to make up for.

    And there is something to Odette's theory also that it is a form of defiance and proving to have an independent mind and unconventional tastes.
     
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  11. Dec 21, 2014 #11

    bayone

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    Can somebody rep tankyguy for this, the site won't let me. :rolleyes:
     
  12. Dec 21, 2014 #12

    tankyguy

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    Physics-based pickup lines are key.

    "Girl, you're like general relativity gravity dilation; when I'm close to you, time stands still."
    :wubu:
     
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  13. Dec 22, 2014 #13

    Hozay J Garseeya

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    Now you just move on to the next. Date EVERYONE! Also, not that I'm a master dater, but if you dig someone, you need to be sure to tell them and not expect them to just know. If I've learned anything, it's to be straightforward. That doesn't mean they'll feel the same, but at least they know.
     
  14. Dec 22, 2014 #14

    RJI

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    Sorry not trying to be mean.
    I like to base my relationships on more then a physical attraction or fetish. I find that people who start a relationship based on a fetish have nothing to fall back on during a rough patch especially if that fetish is sexual. What happens if that individual loses weight, will there still be an attraction?

    Its just my preference that if I meet someone that has an attraction to my belly before they do my mind or personality I tend to not date them long term as I require so much more in a relationship. Not saying it could not happen though!
     
  15. Dec 22, 2014 #15

    RJI

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    You have to be confident in your own skin, then you will be surprised how many people will approach you.

    Also like Hozay said let people know you are interested. Worst thing anyone can say is no... and move on to the next. Don't give up.
     
  16. Dec 22, 2014 #16

    Crumbling

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    I sympathise, and really understand where you are coming from.

    I had the weirdest relationship with one of my 'friends' for a long time. One time we'd be smiles and laughter, and the next it was like I'd killed her puppy. She eventually started dating someone else in our social group, we became actual friends...and over time I worked out WTF the problem was.

    I'd been missing her cues. I flirted and smiled and laughed and did everything 'right' but didn't really have the self confidence to believe she _COULD_ be interested, nor the experience to recognise the cues that she was interested.

    End result, she'd get pissed off because she couldn't work out if I liked her either, and we blew hot and cold at each other for 6 months.

    Thing is, you can read a list (and you probably have, I did) of cues and signs body language etc. but they don't do you a damn bit of good until you learn to recognise them 'in the moment'.

    If I could go back in time and stick myself in the ass with a fork every time I missed a woman _repeatedly_ flicking her goddamn hair in my face... I'd spend pretty much the entirety of 1995-2003 unable to sit down.

    Socialise, flirt and have fun, talk to people without an agenda...

    Join a club or an interest group. You do know this stuff (you've face-palmed over a missed cue on the way home), but like anything else you need to practice it.

    My social awkwardness wasn't (isn't) an inherent part of my personality but a side effect of deliberately avoiding drawing attention to myself for many many years.

    For the longest time I thought I was this guy.
    [​IMG]
    and in some regards I am.

    But when I made the effort, I discovered (much to my own surprise) that I'm also this guy.
    [​IMG]

    Sometimes all you have to do is learn how to let the 'big guy' out, the rest of it takes care of itself.
     
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  17. Dec 22, 2014 #17

    Amaranthine

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    Starting a relationship (that's more than sexual) based purely on physical attraction period is dumb period. But isn't that what most people notice first? Fetish or not, people tend to gravitate towards those they find physically appealing. I don't think that precludes truly appreciating someone for their personality and having a deep relationship. I'd much rather someone find me physically attractive AND mentally attractive, instead of only developing physical attraction until after they know me better.
     
  18. Dec 22, 2014 #18

    Marlayna

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    Just generalizing here, but going by my experiences, a lot big guys have handsome faces, and good senses of humor.:D
    They're excellent for cuddling, like to go to nice steak houses, aren't critical of my eating habits...and they make me feel positively tiny.:smitten:

    Some sweat too much in warm weather, but that's for a different thread.;)
     
  19. Dec 23, 2014 #19

    lille

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    It's true. My boyfriend is a BHM, 5'10" 330ish. He's been big his whole life. He's also confident and pretty outgoing. He has had a decent number of romantic relationships and large number of sexual relationships. He actually just got asked be the guy in FMF threesome the other day (and oddly enough this isn't the first time). Looks are part of it, but confidence and personality are just as, if not more, important.

    Edit to add:

    As for what attracts me to big guys, part of it is that I've always been fascinated by fat. When I was young and didn't even know what masturbation was yet, I would fantasize about fat. So that's just sort of always been a thing for me, though it took me a while to connect the dots, partly because society was always telling me I should like the washboard abs dude, probably also why I had zero interest in dating for a while. There's also the size difference; I enjoy feeling small and snuggling with someone who is more than twice my size certainly does that. I like feeling protected. Plus fat guys are much better for snuggling. I had a one night fling with a super skinny guy and it was so WEIRD, I ad no idea where to put my hands.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2014
  20. Dec 23, 2014 #20

    Amaranthine

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    This! What's sex without something to grab onto?

    Also, pretty much everything else you said. And most things everyone else said. When it boils down to it, I was just programmed very early on to like fat. I could give plenty of reasons/explanations of things that I like, but most of them are post hoc. But the undeniably superior cuddles and feeling protected are definite bonuses. And like OD mentioned, that element of flouting societal expectations.
     

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