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kr7

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2007
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934
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Dear God,

I really need your help. I try not to bother you with little stuff, but this time I am really stuck. I've been working hard the past several years to get to this point. I did the best I could, but now it seems that I can't go any further on my own. Please help.
 

cute_obese_girl

Herbivore
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
1,041
Location
,
Dear co-workers,

What ever happened to taking pride in a job well done? Quit whining that you don't get paid enough and you're at a dead end when you do the absolute bare minimum in your job. Do you think you deserve a raise for your ability to call in sick and waste time?

There are millions of people that would kill to live in America and be in the position that you have. When you pick grapes in the fields or wash someone else's dirty laundry then I'll be happy listen to you complain.

Thanks,
Shannon
 

CAMellie

Gabriel Spencer
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
3,959
Location
,
Dear Kerry,

Thank you so much for being the husband I had always dreamed of. I miss you everyday...and I will continue to miss you everyday. Take care of the babies until I see you again.

Love you,
Melanie
 

Wayne_Zitkus

Proud FA Since 1962
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
3,202
Location
Deepindahearta, Texas
Dear Person In Front of Me in the Express Line With a Month's Worth of Groceries In Her Cart:

Please learn how to recognize what 15 items looks like. And that when you have more than that in your cart, you do NOT belong in the Express Line. And while the cashiers have been told by their manager to simply serve you without saying anything, those of us behind you think you're one fucking inconsiderate bastard.

And stop pretending that you didn't see the "15 Items or Less" sign if I or another of your fellow shoppers confront you. We all know you're lying.

Yours truly,
Wayne Zitkus
 

Wayne_Zitkus

Proud FA Since 1962
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
3,202
Location
Deepindahearta, Texas
Dear Able-Bodoed Person Who Parked Their Car in the Only Available Handicapped Space:

I hope you never have to NEED that space and can't use it because some inconsiderate bastard like you thought they were more important than everyone else in the world.

And your excuse that "I was only going in the store for a minute" doesn't mean shit. If you don't have one of these hanging from your mirror, you're not supposed to park in a handicapped space EVER!!!!!!

permanentplacard_15470_7.jpg



Not even for a minute.

Yours truly,
Wayne Zitkus
 

SamanthaNY

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄&
Joined
Nov 28, 2005
Messages
4,042
Location
,
Dear family, friends and especially my darling husband;

Thank you for making my birthday so wonderful. Your special attention, amazing gifts and good wishes all made me feel very loved, and showed what truly giving people you are, in so many ways.

I am overwhelmed, overjoyed and heartwarmed, all thanks to you.

With much love and gratitude,

Sam.
 

tink977

Mess of a Dreamer
Joined
Aug 22, 2006
Messages
137
Location
,
Dear girl that shares an office with me,
Please shut up! I don't want to hear you ever, ever open your mouth. You are the loudest person I know and the other 50 people in this office don't want to hear you either!!!

Dear Tim,
It hurts me sooo bad to know at this very moment you are with "her". It makes me sick to my stomach with every thought I have of it....which is constant. I love you so much it hurts to my very core.

Dear Vince,
Thank you for coming back and apologizing for disappearing. It made my heart complete again.

This thread reminds me of an old Alanis Morisette song.
 

mottiemushroom

Give it some welly!!!
Joined
Apr 14, 2006
Messages
2,317
Location
,
To old pals from chatroom days gone by

I don't really have a welly fetish... but if you were a mushroom living in the middle of a cowpat, wouldn't you LOVE having wellies - as opposed to being barefoot :rolleyes:

Nor am i a transexual - it was just a fun way to get rid of a certain guy who wouldn't take a "no thanks, i'm not interested" as genuine. ;)

To Dave

I would've been more ladylike if you had been more of a man & treated me as a lady :p
 

pinuptami

Model turned slacker
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
1,538
Location
,
Dear _________ Bank,

Please hire me. Please call me first thing tomorrow morning, even if you aren't going to hire me, so I can quit worrying about it.

Love, Unemployable?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Evil Twin,

The interweb is boring because you have a life and have not been on it. I need a life too :)

Good Twin
 

troubadours

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2007
Messages
1,280
Location
,
Dear Mr. Toilet,

I'm the shit.

With love,
Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. XOXOXOXOXOXO

dear people reading this thread,
weeeeeeeezyyyyyyyyy. zero is getting rep for that and i'm posting to let you all know about it.

xxxxxxxx and one o,
troubs
 

cold comfort

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
1,115
Location
,
dear roomie,

why you are my bestest bud eva and i greatly missed our pointless dialogue while you were away on vacation ... i cannot deny that the days of me waltzing around the apartment mostly naked will be greatly missed. please leave soon.

with much love,

jennifer.

p.s. -- don't leave, i need your half of the rent.
 

BigCutieSasha

Fatty McFat Fat
Joined
Sep 1, 2006
Messages
4,013
Location
, female
dear roomie,

why you are my bestest bud eva and i greatly missed our pointless dialogue while you were away on vacation ... i cannot deny that the days of me waltzing around the apartment mostly naked will be greatly missed. please leave soon.

with much love,

jennifer.

p.s. -- don't leave, i need your half of the rent.

I think you just made a lot of guys here wish you were their roommate. lol Good work ;)
 

cold comfort

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
1,115
Location
,
I think you just made a lot of guys here wish you were their roommate. lol Good work ;)

dear sasha,

i appreciate your reply. it is always splendid to hear from you! how have you been these days?

take care gorgeous,

jennifer

------------

dear men,

i will sell myself to the highest bidder because my rent is getting ridiculous.

sincerely,

jennifer
 

pinuptami

Model turned slacker
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
1,538
Location
,
dear men,

i will sell myself to the highest bidder because my rent is getting ridiculous.

sincerely,

jennifer


Dear Jen,

No fair, only men can bid? I have a crisp $50...er...$20 dollar bill with your name on it!

It's not cause you're not worth the $50...I'm just poor.

xoxo

Tami
 

cold comfort

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
1,115
Location
,
Dear Jen,

No fair, only men can bid? I have a crisp $50...er...$20 dollar bill with your name on it!

It's not cause you're not worth the $50...I'm just poor.

xoxo

Tami

Dear Tami,

My greatest apologies, i did not mean to exclude any genders. Women are not only welcome to bid, but encouraged too ... because they generally smell better than boys anyway. :rolleyes:

With Love,

Jennifer

p.s. -- for you babe ... free. don't tell anyone, though.

I see your 20 and raise you a 5'er... ;)

iiiiiiiiiii hear 20-20-20, canigetatwentyfive-doihearatwentyfive-wegotatwentyinthiscornerdoihearatwentyfive-TWENTY-FIVE!twenty-fivetothegorgeousladywiththesweeteyeshadowinthefront, doihearthirtythirtythirty!!! :rolleyes:

hahaha sash, you're hilarious. looove it. :happy:
 

PamelaLois

ILL-INI
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
2,401
Location
,
Dear person in line in the grocery store in front of me:

If you have a cart full of crap like juicy juice, chips, cookies, ice cream, pizza rolls, sugary soda, and no fresh meat, vegetable, eggs, milk, or fruit, and you pull out your LINK card then complain that everything costs too much, don't be surprised if I whack you hard, on the head, with a bag of onions. :mad: I work hard for my money, I don't have a lot of it, and I stretch it as far as I can buying food that is good for me instead of garbage. If you choose to waste the money you get from the government on trash, then complain that the trash is too expensive, I have NO sympathy for you. :doh: If you spend it wisely, then I applaud you for making the most out of a difficult situation.:bow:
 

BigBeautifulMe

That was a heart.
Joined
Oct 4, 2006
Messages
7,419
Location
,
supersoup said:
ear people from the past,

i don't know why, but i've been very nostalgic today, and since i can't contact any of you directly, this is going to work for me. i am not too ______ for any of you. this applies to you, the 'friend' that told me i was too laid back to hang out with anymore. this is for you, the boy that said i was too kind to date. for the professor that said i was too introverted to pass his class. to the girls that thought i was too fat to hang out with in school. this is also for you jerkface, the boy that said i was too hard to love forever. for the girls that have said i'm too fat to hang out with in public, the guys that have said i'm not fat enough to date, too fat to date, and too fat to bring home to friends and family...good riddance. i can't believe i was ever sad when you left from my life. i am what i am, amazing, kind, loving, intelligent, loyal, silly, feisty, nurturing, and dorky. take me for what i am. if something about me is too ______ for you right off the bat, kindly exit then, as i don't have the capacity to waste any of myself on you. my size, my appearance, and my never fading laughter may be too much for the average person to handle, but rest assured that there are people that are thanking their lucky stars every day that i'm in their lives. and for all the turds i've wasted time dating, i'm not too fat to bring home to friends and family, you are just too jaded in thinking that i care about what others think, when i only ever cared what you thought. i'm fat, i know it, i own it, i rock the hell out of it, but i'm far more than just that.

thank you for your exit,
amanda

Finally. :)

*raises hand* Always, always thankful. Can't wait to see you in Mass, missy.
 

pinuptami

Model turned slacker
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
1,538
Location
,
Dear Tami,

My greatest apologies, i did not mean to exclude any genders. Women are not only welcome to bid, but encouraged too ... because they generally smell better than boys anyway. :rolleyes:

With Love,

Jennifer

p.s. -- for you babe ... free. don't tell anyone, though.

My Dear Jennifer,

Well in that case I'll throw in some cheescake or ice cream, whichever you prefer!

I'll use the peachy scented bodywash for you :D

Tami
 

BlondeAmbition

Your Ex-lover Is Dead
Joined
Mar 30, 2007
Messages
345
Location
,
Dear Mr. Random Ass-grabber,

I wish I had your courage to suddenly grope a total stranger's ass as they walked through a crowded bar. Why it's not pervy at all.. Thank you for making my night complete.

Cheers,
Michelle
 
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